Okay, that's enough of that. What? I'm a teenager, I'm supposed to be a drama llama, right?

Llama. Heh.

Reminds me of a funny joke...

Anyway. Seriously. Why can't I just kinda slink through this year without becoming the center of attention every stinkin' day? It's weird. No one ever even SAW me as... him... but it's like I have not just an audience, but a fan club ever flippin' move I make!

It's like the forces of coincidence are conspiring against me -- both positive and negative.

Everywhere I go, it seems like there's nearly a spotlight on me. So this morning before classes started, I told Jennifer and Matthew that I think I might try to find out if I like girls by going out once with Lisa. Jennifer was all "Yeah, right," and Matthew was just... quiet. Later, talking with Jennifer, she says that Matthew likes me -- again.

I told her there was no way, and then the bell rang and we were still arguing about it on the way to lunch.

Grr. I couldn't make her understand! I said, "No, he doesn't. No way, he's just a friend!"

And she just rolls her eyes at me and then says, "Open your eyes! You like him, too!"

The girl was a dime short of a bus pass, and I answered, "I do not! Well. Yes, I do, but as a friend, not as a --"

And that's when the weird for the day happened. Matthew stepped from around the corner in front of me wearing a TUXEDO, and takes my hand. He spins me back into him and then bends me over backwards and kisses me! I was vaguely aware of something flickering, and he steps back and bows from the waist, before going into one of his GOOBER-Y speeches:

"Fetching Damsel, please, do this wretched servant of yours the honor of attending the cinema and allowing him to provide the means for a repast worthy of your wonderous beauty on the eve of the morrow, at the beginning of the end of this sevenday?"

I think I did a wonderful job of not falling over, as my mouth dropped open.

I looked around and everyone had stopped and was watching. The students, the hall monitor, even some teachers and faculty.

That flickering I noticed? The school paper's feature reporter and the photographer were standing there grinning. His camera was around his neck.

I did the only sensible thing I could.

I pulled my hand out of his and walked past him into the cafeteria to get my lunch.

The rest of the day wasn't any better, and he was asking me again between every period. The school paper was there again after school when I told him (now back in his normal clothes -- where the heck did he get a tux, anyway?) he would have to ask my parents.