I mean, stuff is, um, happening. That's what a diary is for, right?

I went for a loosening up run this morning, because I felt kinda like I needed it after Gymnastics and Ballet yesterday. I jogged down to the park.

I stopped where I always do when I stop to rest.

Lisa was there, waiting for me.

To tell ya the truth, this kinda freaked me out a bit.

I turned around pretty much as soon as I saw her and she stopped me. Not in a mean way or holding me there or anything, but called my name and said, "Please, stop."

She wanted to talk about stuff.

She wanted to talk about why she hated me so much at the beginning of school.

She wanted to talk about why she got over it.

She wanted to talk to me about maybe being friends instead of just a truce.

I wanted to get out of there.

But I stayed and listened. I told her she had five minutes to make her case.

She made good use of those five minutes.

Turns out, she hated me so much because she had a huge crush on me (remember, she's a lesbian) and assumed I was, "... just another straight girl." Then, when she found out about me (which she still won't tell me how she found out!), she said it stood to reason that since I was really a boy (grr!) that I would like girls. And since I wanted to be a girl, then that made her no longer the only lesbian in school. And then she realized that she hated me because of the crush. So she started leaving the notes and stuff in my locker.

I waited for her to run down (I did tell her she had a whole five minutes), then I told her to leave me alone. She wanted to know why. So...

I told her about how hard it is to be the new girl, especially when you're covering up a secret -- she knew how to hide her secret because she knew everyone in town. Yes, so did I, sorta, but they do NOT act the same to me as they did to... him. I told her about being picked on by one of the popular girls so early in the semester not really being a good thing for reputations, despite the "cool" factor of being the one to stand up to the class bitch. Then I told her about the panic and the scary of the Locker Stalker. How I was pretty much freaking out every day.

She waited for me to run down, then apologized. Like, it sounded way formal and totally like she meant it, all unrehearsed and stuff.

We talked then, pretty much about general stuff, for about an hour, and then she walked back to my house. She had a sit-down with my parents and me, and we laid out the rules for not telling about me. Then we shook on it.

I dunno. I mean, part of me is screaming that I'm being more of Goober than Matthew for trusting her, but some other part of me thinks she's on the level, and yet another part of me just... really wants friends and for people to like me.

I'll, uh, try to organize my thoughtishness about Friday for tomorrow. Or later this week. Or something. Augh. I'm a teenager with a very busy life, you're my diary, I tell you what's what, not the other way around! You're not supposed to make me feel guilty for not writing here!