“Bet THIS wasn’t how you thought you’d spend the New Year!” Laura teases as we sip our hot, sweet drinks, surrounded by some of our friends, some of our families… And a few people I never thought I’d get the chance to hang out with!

“So then, you two,” the unmistakable voice of Jamie-Lee Milton- one of the most famous transgendered people in the country- asks as she sits down opposite me and Laura. “How long have you got before you’re back at school?”

“Ugh, we go back TOMORROW,” Laura moans.

“Is it, like, the beginning of the end for you two?” Jamie-Lee asks.

“For her, yes, for me, no,” I say. “Laura’s Year 11, I’m in Year 10.”

“Ah, but still doing GCSEs, right?” Jamie-Lee asks.

“Yep,” Laura replies. “It’s like I have absolutely NO free time anymore, especially with drama rehearsals, and starting work here in a few weeks…”

“I’ve got things a LITTLE easier,” I say with a smug grin that earns me a stuck-out tongue from my friend. “’Cause I’m only fourteen, no job, I’m not in any plays… Gonna suck next year though, all my friends leaving school and going to college…”

“Your school doesn’t have a sixth form?” Jamie-Lee asks.

“Nope,” Laura sighs. “Already got my college place sorted, though, I’ll be going to a performing arts college in September.”

“Cool!” Jamie-Lee says with a grin. “Obviously got a career in mind then, hehe! How about you, Ashley? Any idea what you want to be when you’re older?”

“I dunno,” I shrug. “Other than the obvious answer, heh!”

“Girl?” Jamie-Lee asks.

“Girl,” Laura says confidently.

“Girl!” I cheer with a playful giggle as I stare down at my hands and the long, dark pink nails sprouting from the ends of my fingers. Clinging to my torso is a warm, tight black long-sleeved bodysuit I got for Christmas, hanging from my waist is a playful red skater skirt and covering my legs and feet are a pair of opaque black tights and a pair of cute flats decorated with little bows. My shoulder-length blonde hair is styled into a wavy, feminine bob and my face is immaculately made-up. To an outsider, I needn’t dream of being a girl- because I already am one. And yet, no matter how much I dedicate myself to my feminine life, there will always be people who believe that I’m not entitled to it- and worse yet, many of them are students in my school.

“One good thing about going back to school,” Laura says, “is that we’re back at ballet school tomorrow as well, hehe!”

“Ah,” Jamie-Lee giggles. “I’m so telling Krys- sorry, MISS Fullerton and MADEMOISELLE Renou that you said that!”

“I’ll be left alone there, too,” I dramatically sigh. “You and Suri will be going into the pro-level class, all the other girls will either leave or go into the adult class…”

“Oh, stop being such a drama queen!” Laura moans equally dramatically. “That’s MY job, hehe! And besides, you don’t HAVE to leave just because you’ve left school, the age limit is 18, not 16.”

“And you have got friends in your year, don’t you?” Jamie-Lee asks with a look of concern on her face.

“A couple,” I shrug. “Most of the girls in my year, though, they… Kinda stay away from me. For, you know, ‘obvious’ reasons…”

“Those reasons aren’t obvious to me,” Jamie-Lee says firmly. “All I see sat in front of me is someone who is 100% female.”

“I wasn’t always, though,” I sigh. “Some people don’t seem able to forget that.”

“God,” Laura sighs. “Is it STILL that bad?”

“It’s not as bad as it was,” I sigh. “But I still get the occasional teasing, the whispers, the giggles every time I walk past…”

“…So do I,” Laura sighs. “I even get it at ballet sometimes, though that’s more from the parents than the other students.”

“That’s just disgusting,” Jamie-Lee sighs. “Though… I dunno if this’ll come as a comfort to you or not, but even I still get it from time to time.”

“Wha- you? Really!?” Laura asks.

“Last time was just before Christmas,” Jamie-Lee sighs. “I was out shopping with Olivia, getting in some last-minute presents, turned the corner in a shop and this old bat just stared me, made a kind-of growling noise with her mouth, glared and walked off.”

“Ugh,” I spit. “How- how do you cope with that?”

“Well, there’s only one sure-fire way to handle bullies,” Jamie-Lee replies.

“Ignoring them?” I ask.

“Uh- no, no way!” Jamie-Lee scoffs. “Never ignore bullies, as that just makes them think they can get away with it. At the same time, don’t confront them, as that way, they ‘win’. They’ve got a rise out of you, which is probably what they wanted all along.”

“So how do we ‘win’?” Laura asks.

“Simple,” Jamie-Lee says. “Whatever it was you were doing that angers them, do it a hundred times more. When that old bat scowled at me, I found the nearest mother in the shop and had the most over-the-top girly talk about our babies. And I made sure that the woman who’d glared at me heard every. Single. Word.”

“Awesome,” Laura breathes.

“I think her face actually turned purple by the end of it,” Jamie-Lee says with a smug smile. “So the next time anyone has a go at you for being girls, you know what to do, right?”

“We do now!” Laura giggles, smiling and nodding at me. Together, we stand up and pull our most extravagant cheerleading pose.

“G! I! R! L! Girl!” We both cheer, startling everyone else in the coffee shop and making Jamie-Lee giggle uncontrollably.

“Hell yeah!” Jamie-Lee giggles, before sighing as she glances behind her to where her husband is sat along with her daughter and a couple of other boys. “Think we need to get going now, Olivia needs her nap… But make sure that you two stay in touch, okay? Don’t want it to be another nine months before another meet-up of ‘The Fellowship’. Though if I see either of you with the tattoos before you turn eighteen, I’LL kick your arses, never mind your parents!”

“Understood,” I giggle.

“Though I reckon you might want another tattoo,” Laura says with a sly grin.

“Umm, I’d rather not,” Jamie-Lee replies with a giggle. “This first one was enough of a pain as it was, heh!”

“Even one that’s just seven letters?” Laura asks.

“It depends which letters they are,” Jamie-Lee replies.

“How about ‘YCNHTMF’?” I say, sharing a knowing smile with my friend.

“…If I was going to have any seven letters,” Jamie-Lee says with a wide grin, “it’s be them. Well, or ‘SRM & OCM’, hehe! Talk soon you too. Take care!”

“Will do!” Laura and I say simultaneously, waving as the famous 26 year old woman leaves with her young family.

“…Ugh,” Laura spits, slumping back in her chair.

“What’s the matter?” I ask. “We just got a private chat with Jamie-Lee Milton, how many teenagers can claim that? And you’ll probably see her loads, working at ‘the official Angel coffee shop’.”

“I know, I know,” Laura sighs. “Just- ugh, can’t believe how busy I’m gonna be the next few months, and going back to school tomorrow… I dunno. Just feels like I’m, like, crashing back down to reality, you know?”

“…Yeah, I know a few things about that,” I say, earning a sigh and a hug from Laura as she remembers that ‘crashing back down to reality’ accurately summed up my life every time I had to go back to school and put ‘girl Ashley’ back in the closet.

“Well,” Laura shrugs, “your dream DID come true, hehe! No reason why mine can’t either!”

“Damn right,” I giggle. “Even though I’ll be down six ‘fairy godmothers’ by the end of the year…”

“Aww,” Laura sighs, giving me another hug. “Well you’ll still have Bryony and Sabrina, and my sister’s starting at the school next year too, so they’ll need a cool big sis looking out for them, hehe!”

“I guess,” I shrug. “And Bryony and Sabrina are in the pre-pointe class at ballet, too, so I won’t be ‘alone’ there either…”

“That’s more like it!” Laura giggles. “And like I said, you don’t HAVE to leave ballet just because you’re 16, you know… Sure, me and Suri will probably be in the elite class, but Mia and Harriet…”

“...Sometimes I wish I'd never told you about that,” I say, rolling my eyes.

“What?” Laura shrugs. “They’re clearly both into you, Ash. You’re fourteen, not four, and you’ve had girlfriends before- me being one of them- where’s the problem?”

“You were ‘boy Ash’s girlfriend,” I remind Laura. “’Girl’ Ash-“

“-‘Proper’ Ash,” Laura interrupts.

“…The ‘real’ me is still kinda, you know, stuck on square one girl wise,” I say.

“Take it from someone with a tall, cute boyfriend,” Laura says, “you’re probably gonna be there a while if you don’t do something soon. Harriet and Mia won’t wait forever.”

“…Didn’t Kain, like, chase you for months?” I retort, making my friend frown.

“…And I’m glad I let him catch me,” Laura says. “But he’s a BOY. Girls are more- better yet, girls are less desperate.”

“Seriously?” I ask, remembering the events of the last school year that saw Laura beg Priya for an older boyfriend and that ended up with Laura grounded for a week and a rumour flying around the school that she’d had sex with the older boy.

“Yes yes, hilarious,” Laura scoffs, making me grimace and start to blush. “Look, I don’t- I don’t know, okay? All I know is that you’ve got two girls who are obviously into you, and you obviously like them, so just, like, pick one, okay?”

“How do I pick one without making the other one feel like a loser?” I ask.

“…Pretty sure you can’t,” Laura mumbles, before sighing as her brother arrives to give her a lift home. “See you tomorrow, okay Ash?”

“Sure,” I reply, before letting out a long sigh- Laura’s right in everything she says- particularly about me ‘liking’ both Harriet and Mia.

Mia is cute, funny and extremely sexy with her pale skin, jet-black hair and dancer’s body. She may have been the last of our ‘excellent eight’ to join, but she’s no less a part of the group than anyone else- even if she did only join after being confronted by Laura about her transphobic attitude, an attitude I can be 100% she’s got over as while I’m sure fancies ‘girl Ash’, she still obviously likes boys as well.

Harriet, on the other hand, is gay and very, VERY proud. She also joined the group after Laura confronted her over her transphobic attitude, but in Harriet’s defence, she was forced into that behaviour by her extremely bigoted father- and given how openly gay she is, there’s no question that’s genuinely abandoned those negative traits. Her almost overwhelming lesbian-ness is also a source of comfort for me- if someone as gay as her can fancy me, then I must be doing something right. Objectively, Harriet may not be as cute as Mia- she’s shorter, much curvier and has ginger hair and heavily freckled skin (not to mention being TERRIFYING when she’s angry)- but she’s still very cute and, more importantly, gets on really well with my sisters, especially Bryony.

Of course, ‘neither’ is an option, despite what Laura thinks, but one thing she says is true- I AM fourteen, why should I deny myself my first ‘proper’ girlfriend? One phrase that’s been spoken a lot during today’s get-together is ‘you only regret the things you don’t do’. Despite the difficulties, if I hadn’t started living as a girl full-time, I’d have regretted it for the rest of my life. I have every reason to believe the same applies with regards to Harriet or Mia.

My decision weighs heavily on my mind as I follow three of my older friends out to the car for my lift home, letting out a long sigh as I plop myself down on the back seat.

“Tired, Ash?” Nikki asks as she gets in the driver’s seat.

“Just don’t want to go back to school tomorrow,” I laugh.

“If it helps,” Sarah- Nikki’s wife- says, “me and Jacinta have been so tied up with coursework we haven’t really had a Christmas break.”

“Though designing cute clothes and taking photographs of cute clothes is a lot more fun than quadratic equations!” Jacinta giggles, making me roll my eyes.

“I’ve got no problem with the work,” I shrug. “Even maths, I’m averaging a B there.”

“Ooh, smartypants!” Jacinta teases, making me roll my eyes.

“Quick reminder that Sarah got an A,” Nikki says, making her wife blush. “Very nearly an A*.”

“Yeah, but we all know Sarah’s a smartypants,” Jacinta giggles.

“And in fairness, I am getting help with my maths homework from my LITTLE sister,” I say, blushing (but smiling) as my confession earns giggles from the older girls in the car.

“So why aren’t you looking forward to it, Ash?” Nikki asks. “You still having problems with some of the girls at school?”

“…Kind of,” I say. “Ugh, I- I’ve kinda got a crush on two of my friends…”

“Ouch,” Nikki replies.

“And the feeling’s mutual,” I explain. “In both cases.”

“Extra ouch!” Nikki grimaces. “Do they know?”

“I think everyone knows,” I snort. “Kinda, like, an ‘open secret’.”

“So you can’t date one without upsetting the other?” Jacinta asks. “That sucks.”

“Makes me even more glad that I only ever had one friend at school,” Nikki says, sharing a loving glance with her wife.

“Puke,” Jacinta teases.

“If any of you have any advice beyond ‘that sucks’, I’d be grateful,” I say.

“Wish I did,” Nikki sighs. “Just proceed with caution, unless you’re sure that one of the girls is your soulmate, you don’t want to abandon a friendship, especially one as close as you and the other girls.”

“The ‘perfect pink posse’!” Jacinta giggles.

“We prefer ‘excellent eight’,” I retort.

“Works just as well,” Jacinta shrugs, which triggers an awkward silence within the car.

“So then,” Sarah says to the girl sat behind her. “You and Lee?”

“Think we’d better wait until we’ve dropped Ashley off!” Jacinta replies, making the whole car giggle as we head back to my suburban home.

When I open the front door, I’m momentarily taken aback by how quiet the house is. Bryony is hanging out with Nicole’s sister at her house today (the two girls having quickly become best friends), Cassie is with a group of her (equally ballet-obsessed) friends, mum has taken Dorothy shopping and Eddy is napping in his crib, leaving only one member of my family active in the house, who grunts his usual half-hearted greeting at me as I head through the living room en route to my bedroom. Despite our relationship having ‘thawed’ since our trip to Disneyland in the summer, it’s still clear that dad hasn’t fully embraced me as his daughter. Sure, he’s made the lip service- all of my Christmas presents last week were ‘appropriate’ for a 14 year girl and there wasn’t a QPR logo in sight- but it’s painfully obvious that his heart is still closed to ‘girl Ash’.

I spend the rest of the evening in my bedroom, listening to music, finishing off my GCSE coursework ahead of tomorrow and, of course, chatting with all seven of my friends, six of whom I greet with hugs the following morning as I confidently stroll into school in my clean white blouse, opaque black tights, stiff, straight grey skirt and tiny black ballerina flats.

“Hey girlies!” I squeak happily. “It’s the beginning of the end for you six…”

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Suriya moans. “Can’t believe how much work and pressure there is. Priya made it seem like nothing last year!”

“Priya’s, like, got a Mensa-level IQ,” Nicole says. “She would find it easier.”

“And in fairness, probably didn’t, she just hid it better,” Megan shrugs. “I just kinda feel bad that we’re going to leave you all alone next year, Ash.”

“Here we go again…” Laura sighs, earning quizzical stares from our friends. “Yesterday, at the coffee shop, we had another episode of ‘Angsty Ashley’.”

“What?” I protest. “So I’m gonna miss you all next year.”

“It’s not like you don’t have friends in your own year,” Suriya reminds me. “And you’re on the cheerleading squad. If this was America, that’d automatically make you one of the coolest girls in school!”

“Sadly, this is England,” Laura reminds our friend. “Where I can be the captain of the cheerleading squad and still not be the coolest girl in the school, thanks to mine and Ashley’s- well, ‘handicap’ is the wrong word.” I nod at Laura’s comments, but suddenly, something inside my brain clicks as I remember the advice I received yesterday.

“Hell yeah it’s the wrong word!” I say, earning almost confused looks from our friends. “You heard what Jamie-Lee said yesterday. We shouldn’t be ashamed of who we are, we should, you know, love who we are.”

“Hell yeah you should!” Harriet cheers.

“…Why are you suddenly the optimistic one and Laura’s the pessimist?” Suriya asks.

“What?” I shrug. “Call it a ‘New Year’s Resolution’. I’m a girl. I love being a girl, and I’m not going to let anyone else tell me to stop loving being a girl!”

“You go girl!” Mia squeaks, surprising me with a quick hug.

“And I’m NOT pessimistic,” Laura insists. “I’m just overworked, that’s all. Obviously I agree with everything Ashley says, it’s just- we can’t force people to like us.”

“But if they don’t, they suck, right?” I ask.

“Oh- they suck SO much,” Laura confirms with a giggle. “See you at break?”

“I’ll be there,” I say as I head to my form with a confident stride, elegantly sitting down in my usual seat next to my best- if not only- male friend.

“Alright… Mate?” George asks. “You look, I dunno, happy?”

“No reason why I shouldn’t be,” I reply. “You have a good Christmas? We didn’t really get to see each other, not when Megan or the other girls weren’t around, anyway.”

“Umm, yeah, kinda,” George replies. “You?”

“Pretty good, thanks!” I reply, and I can’t help but bite my lip as I notice that my new ‘confident’ attitude is making George seem increasingly uncomfortable- though this isn’t much of a surprise. As big a ‘supporter’ of mine as George is, the girlier I’ve got, the more distant he seems to be. Sometimes I reckon that he wouldn’t even sit next to me in form if our seats weren’t assigned at the start of the term.

“I, umm, I got the chance to talk to Kain, to Kain Dawson over the holiday,” George says. “Says he reckons I could get on the basketball team if I lose a little more weight.”

“You’ve already lost loads,” I say. “And you’re, like, 6’ 4” already!”

“…6’ 2”,” George corrects me. “And a bit. Megan’s parents keep joking that we’re, like, twins, ‘cause we’re the same height, same hair colour and we both wear glasses.”

“…You aren’t secretly cousins, are you?” I tease my friend, who rolls his eyes in response. “So you’ll be doing basketball for PE today?”

“Hopefully,” George says. “Umm, what- what will you be doing?”

“Hockey, I think,” I reply. “Depends on what Miss Edwards has lined up, I suppose, she just told us to bring in our regular kit. Going to weird NOT changing into a leotard for PE…”

“Umm, yeah,” George mumbles, his cheeks starting to redden as Mr Sheldon arrives to start the first form session of the new term.

After form, George and I head to our respective first lessons. Another symptom of the widening gap between me and George is the fact that we’re taking very different subjects for our GCSEs. I've focussed on foreign languages- my main strength- while George is looking more toward subjects like English literature, history and geography. This also means that I don’t have George as my ‘security blanket’ in most of my classes, though unlike last year, most of the girls in the class are at least willing to tolerate me- and we work so hard in the classes that there isn’t much time for the chatting or messing around that George and I got up to anyway.

This goes especially for our second lesson of the day which, as we ‘previewed’ during form, is PE. I flash a brief smile at George as he takes his kit into the boys’ changing room, but he either doesn’t see me or he ignores me as I enter the girls’ toilet that’s been assigned as my ‘private changing room’. Unlike Laura, who I know changes with Suriya and Nicole (even though they’re not supposed to), I change into my very androgynous-looking t-shirt and shorts alone, before stashing my school bag in the PE teacher’s office (leaving it unattended would just be asking for trouble), grabbing a hockey stick and heading out to join the rest of the girls on the cold hockey pitch. As I run through my warm-ups, though, I get the shock of my life when one of the other girls in the class comes over to talk to me to chat- and it’s the last girl I would ever have expected.

“Hi Ashley!” The always-confident voice of Melissa Jeffries asks as she slinks up next to me. Melissa is easily the most popular girl in our year- she has rich parents, always wears the most expensive clothing, hosts the most elite parties- she'd be the stereotypical alpha female, if it wasn't for the fact that she's only 5' 1" (though even that makes her ideally sized to be the star of the cheer team). Needless to say, even being noticed by Melissa instantly raises your ‘status’ at school, and while she’s always been polite to me in the past- we are both on the cheerleading squad, we both go to Miss Fullerton's ballet class and she spoke to me a bit after I appeared in the Sunday Globe magazine- but this is the first time she’s ever actively sought me out to talk to me. I would be flattered, if not excited, if I didn’t already have an awesome group of girls I hang around with.

“Oh, hi Melissa,” I reply, trying to combat my sudden bout of nerves. “What’s up?”

“Just wanted you to know,” Melissa says, “because you’re, like, one of the cheer team and an AWESOME dancer yourself, I’m starting up my own dance club every other Friday lunchtime, starting this Friday.”

“Oh, okay,” I reply. “So separate from Miss Ellison’s club then?”

“Yeah,” Melissa replies. “This’ll be just a bit of fun at the end of the week, like, for the younger kids, no, like, uniform or anything, you just dance in your school uniform.”

“Sounds fun,” I say. “I’ll let my sister know, she might be interested.”

“Cool!” Melissa says with a grin. “I was really more interested in you, though.”

“Umm… Okay,” I say. “Sure, I guess I can come along.”

“I’m thinking more ‘co-organiser’,” Melissa says. “I mean, we're in the same ballet class, aren't we?”

“...You've been dancing at advanced level longer," I remind the petite girl.

“But you've been going to that school longer,” Melissa replies. “So you’ll help out, then?”

“I’d like to,” I shrug. “I already do a lot of clubs, though- drama, gymnastics, cheer…”

“This’ll only be once every two weeks,” Melissa says. “And just so you know, I REALLY don’t like it when people say no to me.” I try not to flinch as the petite brown-haired girl says this to me. Her tone of voice is playful and friendly, but it’s painfully obvious what she REALLY means- and if anyone has the ability to make my life at school miserable, it’s Melissa…

“…I’ll be there,” I say, earning a wide, smug grin from my newest ‘friend’.

“Cool!” Melissa giggles. “I liked your photos yesterday by the way, the ones with you and Jamie-Lee Burke and Steph Abbott. AGAIN, hehe!”

“Thanks,” I chuckle.

“And if you see that cute blonde boy again, nudge him my way, would you?” Melissa asks.

“Who, Ian?” I ask. “I think he’s, umm, he’s transgendered too…”

“Meh, still cute,” Melissa shrugs, earning a genuine giggle from me as we finish our warm-ups and get ready to start our lesson.

Naturally, there isn’t much chance to talk during the lesson itself, but unlike last year’s hockey lessons, I’ve noticed that I’m getting a lot fewer hits on my shins from the other girls’ sticks- and as I’m heading back to my ‘private changing room’, Melissa flashes me a smile that gets a LOT of notice from the other girls in our year!

After I’m securely back in my comfortable (and, most importantly, warm) skirt, tights and blouse, I head out to my usual break table, where my friends have already gathered and are deep in conversation.

“Hey girlies!” I squeak, being greeted by the usual stream of hugs before I sit down. “What’s the gossip?”

“The usual,” Nicole replies.

“Cool,” I say. “Might have a little bit of my own, actually!”

“Ooh,” the other girls simultaneously coo, making me giggle and roll my eyes.

“Melissa from our year- you know her, she’s in cheer club, and she started ballet late last year,” I begin, waiting for my friends to confirm they know who I’m talking about before continuing. “Well, she’s starting a new, informal dance club every other Friday lunchtime, and guess which other ballerina from her year she asked to help run it with her?”

“Ooh, very cool!” Nicole giggles.

“Ah, wish I could go myself,” Laura sighs. “Friday lunchtime are prefect duty for me.”

“Me too,” Suriya sighs.

“And me,” Megan says. “Though it does sound cool, I really wish I’d gone to Miss Ellison’s club now with you girls.”

“Well I’m definitely going!” Mia says with a wide, beaming smile. “Sounds like SO much fun!”

“Me too!” Harriet giggles, shooting a very conspicuous wink at me.

“I usually study on Fridays,” Nicole says. “I’m usually too busy with drama, cheer and gymnastics that by Friday I’m usually tired for anything anyway.”

“Who else do you know who does all three of those?” I ask with a playful sigh as I raise my hand.

“I’ll send Sabrina along,” Nicole says. “I assume you’ll make Bryony go, right?”

“She and your sister are pretty much inseparable,” I giggle. “And I know for a fact that Bryony secretly loves ballet a LOT more than she’s letting on, hehe!”

“What type of dancing will you be doing?” Laura asks.

“I dunno yet,” I shrug. “Probably just, you know, making up our own routines to chart music. Melissa’s the brains behind it so she’ll let me know.”

“Sounds REALLY cool,” Mia gushes. “Starts this Friday, right?”

“Yep!” I say with a grin, buzzing with energy as talk of the dance club occupies the rest of the break period.

My third lesson of the day is German, and my brief ‘chat’ with Melissa must’ve made its way around my year, as when I sit down in my usual seat, the other girls at my table are a LOT friendlier than usual. The lesson actually goes smoothly, which makes a pleasant change, and by the time I head to drama club at the start of lunchtime, I actually have an even wider smile on my face than the one I had during break.

“Someone looks happy,” Harriet teases as she walks alongside me to the hall. “Whatever this ‘New Year’s Resolution’ was, it obviously worked, hehe!”

“Let’s just say that 2018 looks like it’s gonna be a great year for Miss Ashley Moore, hehe!” I giggle.

“Glad to hear it!” Harriet giggles. “It’s about time you smiled a bit more, you have such a cute smile…”

“Aww, thanks!” I giggle, my body starting to ‘tingle’ at Harriet’s obvious flirting, especially when she stops and straightens her tights, something that has always excited me (and Harriet definitely knows this), despite the fact that I’m wearing identical tights myself!

Harriet’s flirting continues throughout the whole of drama club as we rehearse scenes together- I don’t have a role in this year’s play (I only really come for fun anyway), but Harriet has a minor role as one of the trolls, so I act as her ‘buddy’ to help her learn her lines while Laura and Suriya (the play’s leads) rehearse up on stage. It’s almost a relief that Mrs Ingram is overseeing us throughout the session, preventing Harriet from being even more amorous- though she gives me another very noticeable wink as we leave the hall and head to our final lessons.

In my case, my final lesson is maths, which is one of the few lessons where George and I are in the same class. However, when I enter the room, I’m greeted by a pair of eyes staring at me that tells me that I’m not going to be sitting next to him today, as maths is also one of the few lessons where Melissa and I are in the same class. Nervously, I approach the seat that Melissa is clearly saving for me, remembering what happened the last time a girl unexpectedly invited me to sit next to her- which, coincidentally, was also the first day I wore a skirt to school. It didn’t end well for me then, but I have every reason to believe that today is different. Sure enough, Melissa grins smugly as I sit down next to her, unconsciously sweeping my skirt underneath me and crossing one nylon-covered leg over the other before getting my books out of my bag.

“H- hi,” I say nervously to the petite girl and the taller brown-haired girl sat on the opposite side of her. “Hi Cameron…”

“Hi Ashley,” the tall brown-haired girl replies with a smug- but somehow, still friendly- grin. “When you next hanging out with the Angels, then?”

“It was only one Angel,” I retort, which thankfully makes both girls giggle. “And I dunno. She is pretty busy, but she says I can ask her any time for advice about- well, you know…”

“So cool,” Cameron giggles.

“…Really?” I ask. “I assume you mean the ‘knows a celebrity’ thing, right?”

“Well- yes,” Cameron replies, making me fidget in my seat. “And, you know, you being a girl too, like, you’ve really, like, gone ‘all in’, like, ballet and cheerleading…”

“So have you,” I retort. “You’re on the cheer team too.”

“Well- yeah, but…” Cameron mumbles.

“I think we can all agree,” Melissa says with an authoritative voice, “that everyone sat at this table is 100% girl, right?”

“Hell yes we can!” I cheer, starting to relax as it becomes clear that my new friends are genuinely accepting me as ‘one of the girls’.

“SO cool,” Cameron says with a giggle, before the three of us calm ourselves down as Miss Riley arrives to start the lesson.

As guilty as I feel for saying it, I have a lot more fun during the lesson sat with Melissa and Cameron than I ever did sat next to George. We don’t actively disrupt the lesson- I do want to pass my GCSEs, after all- but we do struggle to control our excitement throughout the whole of the lesson, and at one point, I even stealthily get my smartphone out of my bag to show Melissa and Cameron some more photos I took yesterday during the meeting of ‘The Fellowship’.

By the time the lesson ends, the three of us are well on our way to becoming good friends, and even better, the sneers, the whispers and the giggles I usually have to endure are nowhere to be found as the three of us head to the car park for our lifts home.

“So…” Melissa asks. “See you at ballet tonight, Ash?”

“Yep!” I reply.

“So cool,” Cameron says. “I was on the waiting list there for, like, a year… Just stuck with the class I went to anyway in the end."

"Even despite my referral," Melissa dramatically sighs

“Well, I still have a referral for this year,” I say with a smile. “Just say the word… Reckon I can persuade some of the other girls to use their referrals as well, hehe!”

“…I’ll think about it,” Cameron says with an even wider smile than mine. “See you tomorrow, Ash!”

“See you tomorrow!” I reply, grinning widely as I head out into the car park, where I discover that my chat had a secret ‘observer’.

“Who were they?” Bryony asks as we head to our mother’s car. “They aren’t the girls you usually hang out with.”

“They’re girls from my year,” I reply. “Laura and the other girls are in the year above me, you know that.”

“Oh,” Bryony replies. “You’re not going to stop hanging out with Laura and the other girls though, are you?”

“Of course not,” I reply. “Melissa and Cameron are just, you know, someone I can hang out with in class.”

“Oh,” Bryony says. “So you don’t hang out with George anymore?” I pause as I consider my answer to my sister’s question.

“…He’d rather hang out with boys,” I reply.

“Fair enough,” Bryony shrugs as we get in mum’s car and fasten our seatbelts.

“What are you two talking about?” Mum asks, making both of us playfully roll our eyes.

“Ashley’s hanging out with new friends at school,” Bryony says. “Girls from her year.”

“Oh, okay,” mum says. “New friends are never a bad thing, I suppose. As long as you don’t suddenly drop Laura, Harriet and the other girls.”

“No, no danger of that!” I giggle. Especially not Harriet or Mia, I think to myself.

After a quick dinner (which is mostly spent talking about Dorothy’s first day at school and her upcoming fifth birthday), I head up to my bedroom, where I exchange my school uniform for a well-worn pair of soft pink tights and a clingy black tank leotard, before pinning my hair back with clips (it’s still not quite long enough yet to tie into a bun) and sighing at the sight that greets me- the sight of the scar above my left eye. It may have faded over the last year, and make-up almost completely hides it, but I still know it's there every time I look at that patch of skin. I shake my head to put any thoughts of self-pity out of mind- today HAS been much better than expected, after all- before grabbing my dance bag and a dance skirt and a cardigan to cover up (it’s January, it’s cold outside) and heading back down to mum’s car.

Twenty minutes later, the car pulls up outside the posh, modern building that houses the Krystie Fullerton School of Dance, and as I had been this morning at the entrance of my ‘proper’ school, I’m greeted with hugs from my six friends- my six BEST friends- who are dressed identically to me, just as they had been this morning too.

“Hey girlie!” Laura giggles. “So…?”

“So…. What?” I ask.

“I think Laura’s referring to the fact that you’ve got yourself a new gang,” Megan says in an almost-accusing voice.

“Oh- what?” I ask. “I told you at break, Melissa asked me to help her with her new dance club, if anything, she- Oh, right. Hilarious.” I roll my eyes as my six friends all giggle at me, before Mia comes over and gives me a gentle, comforting hug.

“We’re sorry, we’re sorry,” Mia giggles. “We just- we were talking, and we kinda, you know, figured…”

“We figured that as we ARE going to be leaving school in May and you’re not,” Suriya explains, “it’s only fair that you do, you know, make new friends.”

“Especially as George is too much of a BOY,” Megan says with a smug grin.

“Or I’m too much of a GIRL,” I reply.

“Nuh-uh,” Laura says. “THAT is simply impossible, hehe!”

“Too right!” I say, prompting a mass giggle, which quickly ends when the stern face of Mademoiselle Renou approaches our group.

“Mes filles,” the young Frenchwoman asks. “What is the joke?”

“Oh- nothing,” I mumble.

“Ashley’s going to start a dance club at school with some other girls!” Nicole says, making me sigh and roll my eyes.

“Ooh,” Mademoiselle Renou says. “And you said that you would not have time to help teach the younger dancers!”

“…I’ll have even less time now,” I retort, which thankfully makes our teacher giggle.

“Touché,” Mademoiselle Renou says.

"Well, I'll be happy to help out!" Melissa says as she arrives, fashionably late as always. I smile as she gives me the same kind of playful hug that my other friends gave me, even if it does said friends to fidget in their dance shoes.

"I may have to take you up on that offer, Mademoiselle Jeffries!" Mademoiselle Renou says with a sly grin. "Now come along! Class begins now!"

“Teaching Cassie would knacker me out in about five minutes anyway,” I say.

“I will not say to her that you said that,” Mademoiselle Renou says with a grin, before ushering the seven of us into the main body of the studio to begin our warm-ups.

An hour later, after making a point of saying goodbye to Melissa (who got a lift home with her mother), I breathe a sigh of relief as I free my bruised, aching toes from the confines of my stiff satin pointe shoes and removes the clips from my hair, letting it cascade freely over my bare shoulders.

“Wonder if I should tell Bryony how much of a pain pointe shoes are,” I say, flexing my toes before slipping them into the cute flats I wore to the dance studio.

“I told Sabrina,” Nicole shrugs. “She just wants them even more, hehe!”

“It’s so cute that they’ve become BFFs,” Harriet says. “Wish I had a little sister, even a step-sister…”

“It’s a lot of responsibility,” Laura says as she unties her severe ballerina’s bun and lets her (much longer than mine) blonde hair flow over her shoulders.

“Try having four younger siblings,” I retort, making my friends giggle.

“Lucky you’ve got seven older sisters, isn’t it?” Suriya asks.

“’Lucky’ doesn’t even begin to cover it,” I say, giggling as I trigger a group hug. I let out a quiet yelp as the hug disbands, though, as I feel a sudden, sharp pain in my left buttock. A quick glance down to my side reveals a pair of fingers pinching my bottom, fingers that are attached to a very pale arm, which belongs to Mia, who gives me a sly wink as she releases my backside from her grip.

“See you tomorrow, Ash!” Mia says with another wink as she, Nicole and Suriya head toward their lift home. I smile as I wave after them, only to frown as I see Harriet staring at me with a look of tranquil fury on her face.

“See you tomorrow, Ash,” Harriet says, giving me a tight hug before whispering in my ear. “You going to let her get away with that?” I frown and bite my lip as Harriet, Laura and Megan get into the latter’s mother’s car for their lift home, while I wait for my mother to arrive for my lift home.

Naturally, Mia’s actions and Harriet’s words prey on my mind for the rest of the evening- as does Laura’s advice yesterday. Both Mia and Harriet are becoming more ‘aggressive’ in their flirting, and it’s clear that they want me to make a decision soon- even if the decision is ‘neither’. ‘Neither’ is actually looking like an increasingly good choice, especially after tonight- the last thing I want is for two of my ‘big sisters’ to fall out, especially if I’m the reason…

Thankfully, any hostility has vanished as I arrive at school the following day to be greeted by hugs from my six best friends (and better yet, Mia’s fingers stay far away from my bum). After an uneventful form session and an even less eventful first lesson- my association with my new friends still keeping the usual teasing away- I head to my second lesson of the day, which is maths again, which means that I once again sit down at the same desk as Melissa and Cameron.

“Hi Ash!” Melissa says with a smile. “Great class last night!"

"Yep!" I say with a grin. "Feet are still aching though..."

“But you had fun though, right?” Cameron asks.

“Oh- loads,” I say. “It’s REALLY hard work, dancing en pointe, but it’s really fun too, I get to feel EXTRA girly, and I get to hang out with, umm, my friends…” My voice trails off as I suddenly realise something I haven’t considered before, something that might damage my new-found friendship…

“Problem?” Melissa asks.

“Umm, kinda,” I say. “Were- do- do you want to, you know, hang out at- at break?”

“Sure, if you want,” Melissa shrugs. “Don’t you usually hang out with Laura White and her friends, though?”

“Well- yeah,” I say. “That’s why I’m, you know, asking…”

“Aww, that’s so cute!” Melissa teases, making me blush.

“We don’t mind you hanging out with them,” Cameron says, her tone of voice making it clear that what she says should be obvious to me.

“If I was friends with Laura, I’d probably hang out with her all the time too, hehe!” Melissa says, which definitely confuses me- Laura doesn’t come from a rich family, not to mention her other ‘handicap’.

“…Really?” I ask.

“Sure,” Melissa shrugs. “I mean, she hangs out with Angels too, right? Her brother’s even dating one! She’s got, like, over ten thousand followers on Instagram, over a thousand on YouTube, she’s the captain of the cheer team, the lead in the school play, she’s dating the captain of the basketball team- not quite the football team, but good enough, right?”

“And the fact that she was born a boy?” I ask.

“What-ever!” Melissa snorts. “Am I right?”

“SO right!” I say, my nerves calming as the three of us share a loud giggle, which earns us a stern stare from Miss Riley as she arrives to start the lesson!

Today’s maths lesson ends up being just as much fun as yesterday’s, even though I don’t have any selfies/celebrity anecdotes to share, and once again I’m giggling almost uncontrollably as I leave the classroom with my two new friends.

“Sure you don’t want to sit with us?” I offer, not for the first time this morning. “There’s always space for more, and, well, we don’t just say ‘you can never have too many friends’ as it’s a cool catchphrase, we actually, like, believe it!”

“It… Might be a little awkward,” Melissa says with a knowing smile.

“Ugh, don’t worry, it would be anyway!” I snort, earning quizzical stares from my friends. “Umm, you- you know I’m, like, gay, right?”

“So… It’s not just a ‘dressing up as a girl’ thing?” Cameron asks. “You, like, like boys as well?”

“Umm, no,” I say. “I am- well, at least, I see myself as a girl, but I also ‘like’ girls too- so ‘gay’. Lesbian, whatever.”

“Oh, okay…” Melissa says, nodding at my explanation.

“Well,” I continue, “I- ugh, I probably shouldn’t even be telling you this… Two- two of our group kinda- kinda have a crush on me…”

“Aww!” Melissa and Cameron simultaneously coo, making me blush yet again.

“Do- do you, you know, fancy them back?” Melissa asks.

“…Maybe,” I mumble, earning another coo from the girls. “But, like, if it was only one of them, then it wouldn’t be a problem…”

“Ugh, I totally get that,” Melissa sighs.

“How many guys were you juggling before you settled on Tom?” Cameron teases the petite girl, who rolls her eyes in response.

“Don’t say it like THAT,” Melissa snorts. “Make me sound like a slut…”

“Okay then,” Cameron says with a smug grin. “How many guys were chasing after you before you settled on Tom?”

“Better,” Melissa says with an equally smug grin. “Speaking of which, I don’t want to keep him waiting, hehe! See you later, Ashley!”

“See you!” I squeak, waving after my new friends as they head to their usual ‘spot’. I head to my usual table with a smile on my face, and as with yesterday, this doesn’t go unnoticed by my friends.

“Hey girlie!” Suriya says as I slide into my usual seat between her and Laura. The first time I sat down on this bench, I was eleven years old, about a foot shorter than I am now, and more importantly, wearing trousers and still known to the rest of the world- including the six other girls at the table- as a boy. Things are much better now than they were back then.

“Hey!” I say with a happy grin. “Guess who’s apparently got the most popular girl in year 10 as her fan?”

“And six of the coolest girls in year 11 too!” Nicole teases, making me giggle and roll my eyes.

“Thanks,” I say with a smug grin. “No, it’s actually the super gorgeous, super-girly girlie on my right!”

“What, really?” Laura asks.

“Yep!” I say with a smile. “Apparently the fact that you- sorry, we- hang out with Angels, are on the cheer team, in the play etc. etc. Apparently it makes us popular. Wish I’d known earlier that it was this easy, heh!”

“Uh- hello?” Laura asks, making me yelp with surprise as she grabs my right leg and places my foot on the table, removing my shoe to reveal the bruises on my toes from last night’s ballet lesson, which can just about be seen through my black tights.

“Hey!” I protest, pulling my foot back and yanking my skirt down in an attempt to preserve my dignity. “Why?”

“Do those feet feel ‘easy’ to you?” Laura asks. “Does spending hours each week bruising them even more, then hours rehearsing for plays, in between looking after younger siblings, being on the cheer team and- oh yes- busting our arses doing GCSEs feel ‘easy’?”

“Well- not really,” I mumble.

“I have worked BLOODY hard to get what I have,” Laura says. “And so have you, Ashley. It’s about time we got some of the popularity we deserve.”

“Hell yeah it is!” Suriya says, giving me a playful squeeze that makes me giggle and blush.

“So… It’ll be ‘hard work’ at lunch?” I ask.

“Yes,” Laura replies.

“So you consider pulling on cute leotards and performing in a VERY girly way to be ‘hard work’?” I ask.

“…And there you go again making me REALLY regret never joining the gymnastics team,” Harriet playfully sighs, earning giggles from the rest of us.

“Just because it’s hard work, it doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy it!” Laura says, prompting a mass giggle at the table that lightens the mood for the rest of the break period.

As I predicted, Wednesday’s lunchtime is spent with a tight, long-sleeved leotard wrapped around my body while I tumble, leap and dance across the gymnasium floor. I also take the time during the class to help Miss Edwards with the younger members of the gymnastics club, which includes Nicole’s younger sister and, much to my surprise, my own younger sister, who I’m fairly sure only signed up due to pressure from Sabrina. Poor Bryony looked TERRIFIED the first time she stepped into the gymnasium wearing her leotard, but she’s quickly got the hang of the sport- even if, by her own admission, she won’t be winning any medals any time soon.

Another ‘effect’ of Bryony being in the club is that she, like Sabrina, gets changed at the end of the session in our ‘private changing room- a gesture that still makes me tear up- though she and Sabrina head off immediately after pulling their skirts back on, rather than sticking around to talk, as does Nicole. Once Laura and Suriya are dressed, though, they hang around, clearly wanting to talk to me before we head to our last class of the day.

“What’s up, girlies?” I ask as I fasten my blouse over my leotard and pull my tie back on. “You’re not still pissed off about the ‘easy’ comment, are you?”

“No, it’s not that,” Laura says.

“Okay…” I say. “So… Melissa, then?”

“Harriet and Mia,” Suriya says. “Or Harriet OR Mia.”

“Ugh- seriously?” I sigh.

“Seriously,” Suriya says.

“In our last class,” Laura explains, “Harriet spent all of her time badmouthing Mia, because of the way she pinched your bum last night. She was offended because she saw it as ‘unfeminist’-“

“-You know what Harriet’s like,” Suriya interjects.

“And I think she was jealous as well,” Laura continues.

“We don’t want this splitting the group apart,” Suriya explains. “You need to choose someone, preferably as soon as possible.”

“It’s not really THAT easy, is it?” I snort. “And how am I meant to pick one without hurting the other?”

“Your problem, not ours,” Laura says, making me snort with anger.

“Oh- real friendly, thanks!” I sarcastically growl.

“Ugh,” Laura sighs. “If it’s THAT big a deal, pick neither of them. Say you don’t want a girlfriend right now, they’ll understand.”

“That’s the problem,” I sigh. “I DO want a girlfriend. I just don’t know which one…”

Needless to say, this answer didn’t exactly please the girls, who leave the ‘private changing room’ with scowls on their faces- as opposed to Melissa, Cameron and the two members of their gang I haven’t ‘formally’ met yet, Lucy and Petra, all of whom smile and wave at me as I leave school at the end of the day. And, as with yesterday, this doesn’t go unnoticed by my sister.

“Are those girls going to be coming over to our house at weekends too?” Bryony asks. “’Cause it’s gonna get cramped with twelve girls in one room.”

“It’d be really fun with twelve girls in one room though, wouldn’t it?” I retort.

“Fun for you, maybe,” Bryony says.

“You’ll see when you get your own ‘posse’ together,” I reply with a smug smile as we get into mum’s car.

“I would say I’m happy to see my girls making new friends,” mum quips, “but I don’t really want our house to have an ‘open door policy’, especially with Cassie and Dorothy making friends at school too…”

“Ashley’s now got twelve girls in her group,” Bryony says, making me roll my eyes. “Including herself.”

“They’re not all the same group,” I explain. “Melissa and her gang are in my year, so we obviously hang out more in class. I’m glad to have some friends in my year, now that me and George don’t hang out as much.”

“That is a shame about you and George,” mum says. “But inevitable, I suppose, given how, well…”

“How much more girly I am?” I ask.

“If that’s how you want to word it,” mum shrugs. “So what do you know about these girls?”

“They’re really popular,” I explain. “Melissa in particular, she’s, like, THE girl in our year, rich parents, big house, I think she’s got an iPhone 8 Plus too.”

“Oh, okay…” Mum says in a cautious voice.

“…Problem?” I ask.

“Funny how this girl’s been in your year all this time but only now is she getting to know you,” Mum says. “Is this the same Melissa who started at your ballet class last year?”

“Well- last November, yeah,” I reply. “I don’t get why there’s a problem.”

“Hopefully there isn’t,” mum says. “But I’m concerned that you hang out with your celebrity friends on one day and less than 24 hours later you’ve made a new friend.”

“Oh- if she was really only interested in that, she’d have befriended me in April, after the original photoshoot,” I retort.

“Well, like I said, I hope you’re right,” mum says. “And I am glad you’re making more friends in your year, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t concerned about how you’d get on next year without Laura and her group.”

“…I was kinda concerned too,” I say. Especially as it’s another reason to choose neither Harriet nor Mia, I think to myself.

‘The decision’ weighs heavily on my mind for the rest of the evening, especially after a chat session on Facebook where Harriet and Mia barely interacted with each other. I do like both girls. I do fancy both girls… But I like them as friends much more. It’s more obvious than ever now that if I pick Harriet, it’ll upset Mia and possibly cost her friendship, and the same applies the other way round. And worse yet, it’ll cost the girls’ friendship with each other. This is something I simply don’t want to be responsible for. The only decision I can make, as frustrating as it is, is ‘neither’. I resolve to tell both girls separately about my decision the following day at school, and for the first time in a while, I fall asleep almost the second my head hits the pillow.

Between my decision being made and my growing friendship with Melissa, I go into school on Thursday with a wider smile than I’ve had on my face in a long time- though it does falter slightly when Harriet and Mia give me their greeting hugs. It’s going to be hard to get to speak to both girls privately, given how we seem to go everywhere like an inseparable flock of bird, but I’m determined to find a time and a place. I can probably speak privately to Mia after cheer club today, but Harriet might be a little trickier.

Fortunately, after form and my first two (Melissa-free) lessons, I find myself in the same situation as I had on Tuesday lunchtime- walking toward my usual table when I’m suddenly joined by my ginger-haired friend.

“Hey girlie!” Harriet says with a flirtatious giggle.

“Oh, hey Harriet!” I reply with a nervous giggle. “I, umm, I’m glad I- can we- can we talk, please? Like, somewhere private?”

“Umm, sure!” Harriet says, suddenly looking nervous herself. “Weill ‘your’ toilet be okay?”

“That’ll be great,” I say as we walk into the one girls’ toilet in the whole school that I am allowed to use- and probably for that reason, we find it deserted.

“So…?” Harriet asks, a grin creeping across her face as she realises that she and I are alone, in a private place, and unlikely to be interrupted.

“Harriet, I-“ I say with a nervous stammer. “I’ve, um, kinda noticed- kinda noticed, you know, ‘you’…”

“Yeah, I kinda ‘noticed’ you too,” Harriet giggles. “You are a SERIOUSLY cute girl, Ash!”

“Yeah,” I mumble, trying my hardest not to blush. “I, um, I’ve kinda noticed- noticed Mia, too…”

“Oh,” Harriet says, her smile instantly vanishing and being replaced by a look of fury that makes my knees tremble. “Let me guess- because she’s taller, because she’s better looking, because she’s got the dancer’s body, right?”

“Well, no-“ I feebly argue.

“You know, you owe me a LOT, Ashley,” Harriet hisses. “I got suspended for you last year! Does the name ‘Sam Reid’ ring a bell?”

“Yeah, it kinda does,” I say, lifting my cowlick to show Harriet my scar. “I’m not ‘choosing’ Mia, Harriet.”

“Then why even bring her up?” Harriet asks.

“I’m not choosing either of you,” I say firmly, silencing the angry girl. “I don’t- I don’t want anyone fighting over me, okay?”

“Oh,” Harriet says, her formidable temper subsiding. “Okay, I- I guess. Don’t- don’t you like me?”

“I do,” I say. “But I like being your friend more. Same with Mia.”

“…I like being your friend too,” Harriet sighs. “And I like being Mia’s friend as well. Have- have you talked to her yet?”

“I’m gonna after cheer club,” I say. “So… friends?” Harriet giggles as I open my arms for a hug.

“Friends,” the ginger girl says, giving me a hug as we head out to our table, where our friends have thankfully not noticed that we’re slightly later than we should be (or they’re pretending not to notice- either way, I’m happy).

The lesson immediately after break is technology, which for me means ‘textiles’, but also means ‘Melissa’- and this time, it’s not just her and Cameron, but all of her ‘posse’ in the class.

“Ash! Ash!” Melissa says, inviting me to her table the second I set foot in the classroom.

“Hey girls!” I happily squeak as I drop my bag underneath their desk and sit down without fear of rejection. “Sorry… Looks like you’re stuck with me now, hehe!”

“Looks that way,” Lucy- the other blonde girl at the table- says in a cold voice that immediately makes me uncomfortable.

“Play nice, you two,” Melissa says in a commanding tone of voice. “Sorry about Lucy, Ash, she’s a bit- a bit ‘old fashioned’, hehe!” I nod at Melissa’s explanation- it’s obvious what she means by ‘old-fashioned’- but I’m not sure who looks more embarrassed, me or Lucy. Still, at least it explains why Melissa’s gang aren’t likely to integrate with mine any time soon…

“I am more modern, don’t worry,” Petra- the last girl at the table- says in her light Polish accent as she gets her phone out of her bag, the sight of which almost causes my eyes to bulge out of their sockets.

“Oh my god,” I gasp. “Is that- is that an iPhone X?”

“Yep!” Petra says with a smug grin. “A Christmas present from my father.”

“Who’s your father, Lord Sugar?” I ask, making the other girls snigger with laughter.

“He might as well be,” Cameron says.

“…My parents won half a million pounds on the lottery last year,” Petra says, her cheeks starting to flush. “Not enough to make them ‘rich’ rich but enough to, you know…”

“Afford to buy their daughter an iPhone X?” I ask.

“…Enough to buy all four of their children iPhone X’s for Christmas,” Petra mumbles, before giggling and carefully putting away her expensive phone.

“Isn’t your sister, like, ten?” Cameron asks the Polish girl, whose cheeks redden even more.

“Maybe,” Petra mumbles, before giggling and sweeping back her long, jet-black hair.

“So,” I ask, trying to spare my new friend’s blushes, “are any of you going to be at Melissa’s dance club tomorrow?”

“At OUR dance club, hehe!” Melissa giggles. “And yes, we’ll ALL be there!”

“Cool!” I squeak. “I’ll twist my sister’s arm, get her to come along too.”

“Cool!” Melissa squeaks in reply. “Lucy’s promised the same, haven’t you, Lucy?”

“Yep!” Lucy says with a forced grin that effortlessly conveys the fact that the blonde girl hasn’t told her sister and definitely doesn’t want to either.

Fortunately, our teacher arrives to begin our lesson before the discussion gets any more awkward, and I’m able to concentrate on my work instead. Our assignment for this term is to design and make a new skirt for ourselves, and thanks to following the blog of Nikki’s wife- a fashion designer- I have a ‘head start’ over the other girls, a ‘head start’ I happily share with my new friends, who are all grateful for the help- all apart from Lucy, that is, who almost recoils in horror every time I go near her.

I try to put the blonde girl’s attitude out of my mind as I work with the other girls, all of whom definitely appreciate my assistance more. Melissa is, of course, her usual superior self, but Cameron definitely seems to be warming to me, especially after I show her a few shortcuts in the design software that we’re using. Petra, however, seems very friendly and very happy to have me in her group, even though as rich as she is, she could easily act as snotty as Lucy is doing. If it wasn’t for the fact that I know she has a boyfriend, I’d swear that she had a crush on me too…

After the lesson, the five of us walk together to the girls’ changing rooms, where we all change into our short, tight cheerleading uniforms. Obviously, as we were all in the same class last term, we all walked the same way then as well, but we didn’t walk ‘together’- if anything, Melissa and her gang took steps to distance themselves from me over the course of the last term, but that’s obviously changed now, even if not everyone in the group is happy about that.

And yes, you did read the first sentence correctly, all of the cheerleading team- myself included- are changing in the actual girls’ changing rooms. Laura (with a little help from yours truly) got Miss Ellison to write a letter to the parents of the rest of the team asking for permission for us to change with the rest of the team, pointing out (quite correctly) that it was silly for half of the team to change in the toilets and half to change in the changing rooms. Both Laura and I were ecstatic when all the permission slips came back confirming that we could change in there- though given what I now know about Lucy, I’m wondering why she didn’t convince her mother so deny us access to the changing room.

I try to put my worries behind me as I pull on the long-sleeved leotard, short pleated skirt and tank top that make up my uniform. Permission HAS been granted for me to be in here- they can’t take it back now. And I’m sure that once Lucy gets to know me, she won’t be as hostile toward me. Melissa won’t let her, for starters… Then again, it’s not like Melissa is above that behaviour herself, as I quickly find out when we walk out onto the cold playing field, pom-poms in hand.

“Ugh,” Melissa spits as she gazes over at Allie, the only other member of the cheerleading team to be from our year. “Why does she keep coming? It’s not like anyone likes her, or she’s any good at cheerleading…” I bite my lip to keep myself from retorting- Allie may not be as talented as the likes of Laura, Suri, or even Melissa herself, but she’s far from bad- and a lot better than me.

“Maybe she’s just desperate for a boyfriend,” Cameron suggests. “Reckons that pulling on a short skirt and flashing her crotch at the whole school will get her laid.” She only fourteen… I think to myself as my new friends continue their sniping at the petite ginger-haired girl.

“I heard that she shagged Kai Benson at his house over Christmas,” Lucy says with a smug, superior grin as I find myself feeling more and more uncomfortable- especially as I find myself obliged to laugh along with the other girls. If they’re talking this way about Allie, who’s an ordinary, unassuming girl, god only knows how they talked about me last term- or the three years beforehand…

My discomfort lasts throughout the whole practice session, and as I’m changing back into my uniform, I’m actually thankful that my final lesson of the day will be Melissa-free and I’ll be able to de-stress before I go home. My relaxation only lasts a few seconds, though, as once I’m back in my uniform, the first face I see waiting for me outside the changing room is that of Mia McFarlane.

“Hey Ash!” Mia says with a wide grin. “GREAT session today, hehe!”

“Totally!” Laura- who is, of course, the captain of the cheerleading squad- agrees. “Reckon we’re almost ready for the inter-school tournament!”

“God, like I need more to be nervous about!” I say, earning sympathetic hugs from my friend’s- one of which ‘lingers’ a lot longer than the others.

“You’ll be FINE,” Laura says. “Though… There are a couple of people I’m not 100% sure about.”

“Al- Allie?” I hesitantly ask.

“What?” Laura asks, snorting and shaking her head. “No, Allie’s great! Almost as good as Suri as our ‘flyer’. It’s Melissa and Lucy I’m not 100% convinced by. Admittedly, in Melissa’s case it’s, like, ‘95% convinced’ but Lucy really doesn’t seem to be pulling her weight at all.”

“Obviously, don’t tell the girls in your year that Laura said that!” Suriya says, giggling as I mime zipping my mouth shut.

“We’d better get to class now,” Laura says. “We’ve got English now and I REALLY need to get my head down if I want that A. You?”

“Umm, PSHE next,” I say.

“Ah, so a lazy afternoon, then?” Mia asks with a wink.

“Something like that,” I chuckle. “Hey, umm, Mia? Have you- have you, like, got a sec? To talk in, umm, private, I mean…” I grimace as my question elicits quiet ‘ooh’s from Laura, Nicole and Suriya- all of whom no doubt have their own idea about what we’re going to be talking about.

“Sure,” Mia says, leading me into the toilet that I usually use as my ‘private changing room’.

“Mia,” I say once we’re in private. “I know th-“ I yelp in surprise as Mia suddenly grabs my head in her hands and gives me a long, deep kiss, forcefully proving the inside of my mouth with her tongue.

“You don’t need to say any more,” Mia says with a determined grin as one of her hands drops to my nylon-covered thigh and she leans in for another kiss. For a brief moment, I consider letting go and just letting whatever happens happen- Mia is a REALLY good looking girl, after all, and she clearly fancies me…

“No- no,” I say, removing Mia’s hand from my thigh and stepping back. “I- I’m sorry, Mia.”

“Why?” Mia pleads, her face falling. “Don’t- don’t you like me?”

“…I like you more as a friend,” I say, making the black-haired girl roll her eyes.

“But you like Harriet more, right?” Mia scoffs.

“No,” I say firmly, visibly confusing my friend. “I- I don’t want to see either of you if it’d hurt the other.” Much to my surprise, rather than get angry, this brings a wide smile to Mia’s face.

“Aww,” the pale-skinned girl sighs. “Make me fancy you even more, heh!”

“Sorry,” I mumble.

“S’okay,” Mia shrugs. “Plenty more guys AND girls out there, hehe!”

“Thanks,” I say quietly, before exchanging a brief, friendly hug with Mia, grabbing my bag and heading to my final lesson of the day.

PSHE is one of the few lessons where we’re not sorted according to ability, but rather we stay in our form groups, meaning that as I did at the start of the day, I elegantly lower myself into the seat next to George, who greets me with a polite smile.

“Alright, mate?” I say, which makes George smirk.

“That still sounds weird coming from your ‘girl voice’,” my bespectacled friend says.

“You mean my ‘real’ voice?” I retort.

“Yes, yes,” George says with a chuckle. “Actually, I- I kinda want to thank you, you know?”

“Umm, okay…” I say. “Why, exactly?”

“Everyone knows you’re now part of Melissa Jeffries’s gang,” George explains. “You’ve got to have noticed people treating you better, right?”

“I’ve noticed people treating me ‘less worse’,” I reply. “Not sure it’s worth the, you know, ‘price’, though.”

“What ‘price’?” George asks. “You mean you aren’t excited to be part of the coolest gang in our year?”

“It- it just makes me feel a bit uncomfortable, you know?” I reply. “Some of the things they were saying at lunchtime, and one of them REALLY doesn’t like me.”

“But girls bitch all the time, don’t they?” George asks.

“Well- no, not like that,” I say. “And no, it’s not ‘all the time’. Jeez, you’ve been going out with Megan for over a year, have you really not learned anything about girls? Do me and Megan need to give you another ‘refresher lesson’?”

“I know all the important things,” George mumbles. “And I know that you really don’t want to cross Melissa. Not just because I’m finally getting popular myself for the first time EVER.”

“…Okay,” I say quietly.

“And no, I don’t need another ‘refresher lesson’, George says. “I’m probably too tall now anyway…”

“That sounds like disappointment I hear in your voice…” I tease my friend as I make a show of straightening my black tights.

“Just- shut up, okay?” George says as our teacher arrives to begin our lesson.

I try my best to maintain my relaxed attitude throughout the remainder of the school day, but George’s words about not crossing Melissa resonate with me- especially when I pass both her and Allie on my way to my mother’s car. Melissa may be acting friendly toward me now, but it is a VERY sudden change, and there’s nothing stopping her from changing her mind about me again- especially if her liking me is just an act. Maybe mum is right about her only being interested in me because of my association with Jamie-Lee and her friends, and that thought makes me feel unclean as I slide onto the passenger seat of my mother’s car and fasten my seatbelt.

“You’re looking a bit less chipper today,” mum comments.

“…Just tired,” I half-lie. “After, you know, cheer practice…”

“I always wondered why most cheerleaders were teenagers,” mum muses. “Given that to be a cheerleader, you need to be high energy all the time, and most teenagers are very, very low energy all the time!”

“You could say the same thing about school as a whole,” I retort.

“I probably could, heh,” mum laughs. “How about you, Bryony? Reckon you’ll grab a pair of pom-poms when you’re fourteen?”

“Absolutely not,” Bryony replies.

“Aww, don’t be like that!” I tease me little sister. “You look cute in your gymnastics leotard, and for ballet, so I reckon you’d make a great cheerleader! Pity I have to give my uniform back at the end of each year, I could’ve handed it down to you…”

“NO,” Bryony says forcefully.

“Ashley, stop teasing your sister,” mum says, making my little sister smile smugly.

“It’s okay,” I shrug. “Cassie’ll probably do enough cheerleading for all of us!”

“Ugh, THAT’s something to look forward to,” mum says with a snort of laughter as we head home.

After a quick dinner, I head upstairs to work on my GCSE coursework, but before too long I’ve switched on my tablet computer and am unsurprised to find notifications from an ongoing chat between my seven best friends- however, I am surprised to find that I have another message waiting for me from my new friend Petra- who, in hindsight, didn’t join in the sniping of Allie this lunchtime.

‘Hi Ashley,’ Petra’s message reads.

‘Hi Petra!’ I type. ‘What’s up?’

‘Just wanted to say hi,’ Petra types. ‘Nice to finally properly meet you lol!’

‘Nice to meet you too,’ I reply. ‘Are you typing on your new iPhone X?’ I attach a winking emoji to my message that hopefully makes my message sound less catty.

‘On my new Galaxy Tab S3 actually,’ Petra replies with a ‘sticking out tongue’ emoji that makes me giggle.

‘Nice,’ I type. ‘Still on my old iPad V4 lol.’

‘That’s still cool,’ Petra types. ‘And so are you, Ash.’

‘Aww, thanks!’ I type with a ‘hugging’ emoji that earns a ‘blushing’ one in response. ‘I think you’re pretty cool too.’ I hesitate before typing the rest of my message as I remember what was said about poor Allie earlier- that was most definitely NOT cool. Sure, Petra didn't say anything, but she didn't defend Allie earlier- but then again, neither did I. And despite what George may think, this sort of behaviour is NOT part and parcel of being a girl and most definitely NOT the type of girl I want to be. Then again, I don't want to offend my new friends, not when they were the ones who befriended me, rather than the other way around- and I WILL need friends next year, after Laura and the others leave...

'The rest of the girls are cool too,' I type, inwardly cursing myself for my 'weakness'. The reply I get, however, almost makes me drop my tablet in shock.

'Really?' Petra asks. 'Even after they acted like a bitch toward Allie?'

'That wasn't very nice,' I type after a pause of almost a minute. 'Of them, I mean.'

'It sucked,' Petra types. 'Allie's really nice.'

'Then why didn't you say anything?' I ask.

'Because it would've made my life suck just as much,' Petra replies. 'Same if you'd spoken out, but I guess you already know that.'

'I kinda guessed,' I type. 'My friend George has said a few things about not crossing Melissa. But what's the worst she can do? I've been the butt of jokes at school for almost a year now just for being who I want to be.'

'Trust me, she can make your life hell,' Petra types. 'Remember Georgia Lynn from our year?'

'Think so,' I reply. 'Whatever happened to her?'

'Moved school after bullying became too much to bear,' Petra replies.

'She was in a lot of my classes,' I retort. 'I didn't notice any bullying.'

'She wasn't the one who was bullied,' Petra types. 'It was her little sister.' Almost immediately, I feel my fingers start to turn numb and my body start to tremble with fear. Bryony's not had the easiest time settling in, and if someone was to target her- such as Lucy's sister, who I know for a fact is in the same form as Bryony...

'Message understood,' I type. 'G2G now, talk tomorrow!'

'Bye!' Petra types, and I instantly log out and toss my tablet onto my bed, before laying back and trying to compose myself.

After all, it's not like Melissa isn't genuine in wanting to be friends with me, even if she may have ulterior motives, such as wanting to take advantage of my connection to the Angels. And she is raising my 'standing' in the school, and that of my friends too, as George reminded me, and she won't even tolerate people from her own group bullying me.

And yet, as she showed in her actions toward Allie, she's not the type of person I'd want to associate with. Laura and her girls aren't perfect, but they aren't bullies either, far from it in fact. They'll always be my 'real' friends, my best friends, even though next year, none of them will be at school with me, and I spent this last week possibly alienating two of them for good.

Of course, I'll still spend this weekend with those best friends- we'll be at Harriet's house on Saturday, ironically enough- but my fears are strengthened the following day when mine and Melissa's dance club launches, and Harriet and Mia are nowhere to be seen- and unsurprisingly, neither is Allie. Bryony and Sabrina show up, of course, and by all accounts, they definitely have fun, and when I'm focussed on the dancing, so do I. As we get ready to leave, however, my discomfort returns, and when Melissa says goodbye to me after ballet later in the evening, her farewell of 'see you next week' feels more ominous than anything.

Though not as ominous as the Facebook message she sends me shortly afterward, attached to which is a photo of me and Mia kissing in the toilets. Maybe there are occasions when you CAN have too many 'friends'...