CHAPTER 35
Why did I agree to sleep in a tent, in December? I was awake for one very simple reason, and that had been the impact of my wife’s sub-Arctic knees against the backs of my thighs. I had thought uncharitably about the impermanence of modern marriage till she pointed out that she had brought tea for both of us.

It was warm in our nest of duvets, though, a pale light leaking through the sides of the tent.

“Tea, love?”

“That Merry, sweets. Up, bouncing about, smiling. Not normal, yeah? Oh, and gonna have to get you something better to snuggle in than that thing! Cycle tops for sleeping, I dunno”

“It’s warm, and I like it”

“Makes it hard to tickle these…”

I would never have the fullest of chests, never gain breasts of any real size, but they were there, and they were mine, and Larinda had adapted surprisingly well to what they did for me, and what she could do to me through them, and we almost forgot the tea.

“Happy Christmas, lover”

Finally, out to a grey morning with a drizzle of sleet that made my nose ache, and a simple breakfast in the church hall. I spotted the rest of my family as we entered, all in their new fleeces. The Cardigan Sisters handed us a plate of calories each and we found ourselves some chairs to settle in for the demolition.

“Can I sing again Aunty Jill?”

I smiled. “Ask your Dad, pet”

“Can I sing again Daddy?”

Ian smiled, in such a tired way that I wanted to take him in my arms.

“If you want, Hays. Was it really good?”

“Yeah. The songs were all new but the tunes were easy”

Ian hugged her, one armed. “You sounded lovely, pet. Look… I know you like where you live now, and you have friends, but how would you like to live with your aunties for a bit? Daddy has to stay over here for some time, so if you were here I would have company. What do you think?”

“Where would we live?”

“Your aunties have spare rooms”

I smiled at her. “You might have to share with Bethy, though. That be OK? Bethy? That suit you?”

The younger sister narrowed her eyes. “Got like school and stuff, yeah? Exams next year and that”

I wondered how much Ian had actually told her just then. He looked up.

“Time you girls knew, like. Bethy, Hays, Daddy is not well”

Bethy snorted. “You told me!”

“No, pet, I didn’t, not really. I have given you some idea, but you need to know how bad it will be. Annie’s husband, and that doctor, Kate, they’ve told me what to expect, and it’s not going to be nice”

He paused, drew a long breath. “All of this is so you two can be safe. I am going to be in a very bad way, and then get better for a bit, then bad again, and it will go on for a long time. This is one time when Daddy needs help, needs his family with him, and this is your, our family, aye? Bethy, I need you to be strong. Strong for me, and strong for Hays. School can be sorted, and… they will try and sort me, as well”

He looked at me then. “You have so many good friends here, pet. You never had that when you were young. That’s how I knew all this was right for you, more right than when you were a… bairn. They’ve pulled out all the stops for me, and all because of you. I don’t deserve it”

Larinda took his hand. “You are our brother, so shut up. This is a proper family. I ain’t had one of them for a while, so we make it a good one, OK? No bollocks about what you deserve, you just take what you’re given and smile. Now, schools… need to do some digging after the hols. Girls, you gonna be strong? Your dad needs it”

Bethy nodded. Hays looked puzzled.

“Daddy, you’re not well?”

“No, pet, I’m not”

“You going to die?”

That was a conversation stopper, but he held his ground. “Everyone dies, pet. I just hope it will be later rather than sooner, aye? Just, for now, Daddy’s going to be unhappy a lot, and hurt, so I need my pretty girls to be there for me”

Bethy took his hand. “Hays can like sing for you, can’t she?”

Ian smiled far more warmly. “I would love that. Will you sing for me, darling? When I hurt?”

“Mum always said I was stupid, it was stupid noise”

Larinda went to say something, but I shook my head. This was Ian’s place.

“Hays, pet, your mam was wrong. What did all the other singers say? And the nice lady who asked you to sing?”

She looked down, and there was a blush coming, and never had I seen more clearly how the little girl inside fought her damaged body.

“They talked funny, Daddy”

“Lots of them are Welsh, pet. They don’t talk like normal folk”

The blush was there in full force. “They sounded like that lady friend of yours. One of them… he said…”

She put on the most perfect Welsh accent imaginable, and looked up, her round face red.

“There’s beautiful, see?”

Ian smiled again. “So if foreign people can love your singing, why can’t Daddy?”

She was in his arms, crying about how she didn’t want him to go, and he just held her till the sobs died away.

“That is why we will live here for a while, my darling. We’ll be a family together, aye? And Nana, she’ll come down…. hell, you have a new Granda to meet! So much to find out. But, why the tears? We’ve got things to do, so many people to meet, like. Come on, time for a wander!”

His girls took a hand each, and I my lover’s, as we set out to see what dregs of humanity had braved the sleet, and I blessed my wig for once. There were plenty of children, from the very small to teenagers, and we found the pink one helping her boyfriend the drummer to transfer food and drink from a van into the back of the hall’s kitchen. To no surprise on my part, James was helping, and once again that beautiful smile lit his face.

“Everyone here is my friend!”

Darren’s patience, Shan’s steadiness, it all seemed to be working some of the same magic that had brought Hays out of her shell when she had been moved to the residential care place. In some ways, the two were similar. The world around them moved in ways they had difficulty grasping, but throw them a line, help them stay afloat, and they shone in ways that could astonish. Ian spoke directly to James, and there was a flicker and then a steadying.

“Got enough beer in, son?”

“I am not your son you have daughters and there are two”

Darren chuckled. “Mr Carter is just being friendly, James. It is how older people sometimes speak to people who are still young”

That brought a genuine laugh from all three girls and a “Cheeky pup!” from Ian. Darren just grinned.

“Some people will say there is never enough, lahk, and when Mrs Hall’s family get going, oh dear…”

The last was in such an affected accent that I snorted. Darren grinned back.

“Can’t swear no more, not in company, Mum says, so I does Nan instead, just think sweary, yeah? James, we nearly done now, get some practice in before the lunch? And scuse me, but what are you called?”

“I am Hayley, but Bethy and Daddy call me Hays”

“I heard you sing last night, Hays. Sweet!”

Another blush, another boost. “Thank you”

“I’m Daz, this is Shan, she’s my floozy, lahk, and this is James, he’s our friend, and there’s Ali, and Stevie and Suzie so we got loads of people who aren’t too old”

There was a cough behind us, and it was Eric. “And can I call you ‘son’ then?”

Darren ducked his head and grinned. “I call you Dad, yeah?”

“Only when you want something! Ian, how are you?”

Ian coughed, clearly a little embarrassed himself. “Was just looking for you, like. Wanted to say thanks. Girls, Mr Johnson here, he’s the one sorted it out so we could be together when…when I am not myself, like. We owe him, aye?”

“Rubbish, Ian. We do it all the time”

“What, find spare hospital beds for strangers?”

“No, do things for friends. All friends here. All of us. Now, how’s your French?”

“You what? Not bad, I suppose. I had to do some stuff over in Belgium for a while, and I had the kraut, but they were in the wrong part, so I did a course in it”

I stared at him. “Weren’t you the one who once told me the only thing wrong with France was that it was above sea level?”

“Aye, sis, I was, but firstly it was Belgium, and secondly–“

He looked hard at Darren, and then winked. “Secondly, I grew up”

Ian turned back to Eric. “I’d offer you any body part you wanted, but they are not exactly likely to be in prime state. Anyway, why Frog?”

“We have some visitors from Normandy, and while one of them is an English teacher, the others are a bit more difficult. Steph does what she can, and her hubby has a bit, but that’s about all, and what with the Welsh lot it can all get a bit, you know…”

“How many are there?”

“Two couples, one with a kid. Oh, and one bloke’s a copper, the other’s an ex-squaddy”

“Oh aye?”

“Aye. Yes. You are as bad as my wife. Er, Legion”

“Oh shi--- er, hell. He OK?”

Eric just grinned. “You need to ask? Look around you, and remember what I said. Friends, yeah?”

And so we ambled, and split up as the dynamics dictated, the girls off with a gaggle of teenagers that just seemed to accept Hays as one of their own, and Bethy’s eyes firmly on James. Ian disappeared quite quickly, and I spotted him later in the usual little huddle of veterans together with a stereotypical Frenchman and a tall and raw-looking blond man, a bony girl almost as tall obviously translating as my beautiful blonde woman played with her child beside them.

There was a moment when I saw my brother as he was, the alpha male, this time amongst others like him, and his arms were moving as he told what was clearly an outrageous story before all at the table erupted in laughter, delayed for some by translation, the tall girl clearly having difficulty getting the words out through her giggles. What was clearly her partner rose to his feet, and bowed, doffing an imaginary cap.

Chapeau, Monsieur.

I found my eyes were getting moist. It wasn’t going to last for him once the treatments started. Be strong, Jill.

Be strong.