CHAPTER 49
We flew back two days later, work calling for most of us, and Ian due his ‘moderation meeting’ with Ellen and her shark. It had been a heated discussion, Von setting her stall out in front of her son and, to my delight, his new friend. This was Von as I had seen her that day at the Quay, full of fight and passion, but this time for good reason.

“Irretrievable break-up, aye? And what Bethy says, she has her own little friend now. Probably had him before all this, before my darling here told her to sod off, innit? Two faced cow!”

Will had laughed. “Mum, tell it how it is, yeah, don’t mince words!”

Eddy had laughed in turn, and that really moved me. “Will, mate, you sure she’s on our side? Scary woman!”

Von had turned a calm gaze on her son’s lover. “Eddy, I am on the side of whatever and whoever makes my baby happy. That’s all. Ian, we will give her a day to remember, right?”

Ian had sighed. “Just remember, pet, I’ll need a few days to recover. I can feel the strain already. Jill, you happy keeping the girls for now?”

“Always, pet. Mam says she’ll pop down a bit. That right? And drag the old man with you?”

Mam had smiled. “I have plans, like, up the West End, aye? Take that bigger lass out, see a show or two, see it for real. No point in having a bairn living down there and not taking full advantage. Anyways, there’s June coming up an aal. She’ll be wanting to have a bit sing for that vicar”

Where had it all come from? Suddenly, I had a life, it seemed, a social circle, friends, obligations, no free time… or rather no time to sit maudlin and without hope, the steps of my exit plan slowly taking shape. I had taken my wife’s hand, then reached across for Von’s.

“I am so lucky, you know, lucky in the women I know. All of this, like, I could never, ever have dreamt of”

A smile from Mam. “And I’m not lucky to know me own daughter at last, and Ian his sister, the girls their aunty? Howay, gizza hug, and then time to get all packed and that”

Warm memories, smiles that lasted the flight back, and most of the next day at work, up until the time I spotted the delivery addresses for building material deliveries that weren’t reflected in invoices for work done. Some things never, ever change, and that’s what kept me in a job.

It was Von who called after the meeting. “He’s tired, Jill, got no more strength, see? I said I’d do the calls, save him getting all worked up. That woman is a cow, aye?”

“What’s the damage, Von?”

“Er… You know I’m selling up, the house in Brock? Well, she’s got half the value of Ian’s place. I think she was expecting to make him sell it, to get the money, so we told her to piss off…”

“You are paying her?”

“Not the way I look at it. I’m buying half the house, innit? Investing in Ian. Look, Jill, this is, well, hell, this is it, aye? I don’t care how long….”

There was a pause, and when she came back she was clearly crying. “I do care, innit! You know that! Just, whatever he gets, however long, I am there, and that bitch is gone, out of his life, out of the girls’ lives, and…”

She paused, and I could feel the rage building from all those miles away.

“She’s got the new boyfriend, see, and he’s another squaddy. Once a valley commando, innit? And he’s said he don’t want no kids underfoot, doesn’t want anything to do with the girls, and she says fine by me, and how can a mother do that? How can she walk away from her babies? And I looks at her, aye, and she just smiles, and I know in nine months, a year, she’ll be knocked up, hook the man then nail him down, aye? Bitch! How did my man ever end up with her?”

I sighed. “Vulnerability, love, rebound, and then by the time he wakes up, aye? And he does love his bairns”

“How could anyone not love them? What she did to Hays, there’s bitchy, there’s unforgivable! Still... at least it means one thing. She’s out of their lives, aye? Signed away custody rights as soon as the money was in front of her snout. Supposed to be a mother!”

“Pause, pet! Now, calendar?”

“Mine’s up for sale, should go quickly. Started the removals yesterday. No reason to stay there now, see?”

I laughed. “You are certain about Ian, then?”

She didn’t speak for a few seconds, and then it was so softly I had to strain to hear.

“Certain, it is. Jill… know this, I truly loved you, loved Rob, aye? But I see you now, and I know that this is how it has to be, this is you, but that love, it doesn’t die. I just see you in Ian, and yes, I know you see him as completely different to you, innit? But he isn’t, not really. You are both pigheaded, stubborn. He’s you as you would have been if Rob had been real, so I get to have you, and him, all together, aye? And…”

I could only wait patiently till she found the words.

“Jill, would you have me for a sister?”

“Von, I would have it no other way, and I think you knew the answer before you asked”

“Aye, girl, but I was brought up with manners. Anyway, brighter things! What you wearing to this wedding?”

That brought a laugh. “I need to ask the wife, but I don’t think it will be new stuff, like; spent enough on ours. You just deliver my bro safely on the day is all I ask”

“You have my promise, sister of mine. All I can do, see?”

That weekend brought another visit to Barnes, for the birds, my social circle seeming to fill half of the place. John was on duty in the Peacock Tower, and as Hayley hadn’t yet returned West we had an interesting mix of personalities at lunch. I was wearing that T-shirt, of course, and Karen was laughing as she dug into the vegetarian main meal she had insisted Terry pay for. Married couples, I don’t know.

“Larinda, this is where it all started, yeah? She sits in–sod it, Jill, I think we are actually sitting at the same table! Spooky! Anyway, we’re sat here, and she just points at my shirt and gives a little finger wave, and the rest, as they say, is history! Jill, one thing, yeah?”

She lowered her voice. “Got the impression, back then, that you were sort of, well, checking out. No, just listen, please. All the signs were there, yeah? But then you come up to me and you tell your deepest secret. That not say something to you? That there’s always been hope, hidden away at the back of your mind? That you’re actually a much stronger girl than you ever let yourself know?”

I felt myself blushing, and that was a day I truly moved on. Comfortable in my skin, comfortable with my family, friends, I resolved to put the darkness into a box and file it somewhere under “being bloody stupid”, and changed the subject.

“Wedding in June, girl. I assume you’ll be there?”

Terry laughed. “Vicar collared…sorry, pun not intended! Anyway, Simon says…oh, I give up. Kaz?”

Karen grinned. “He was making the rounds after yours, and he made the point that it’s going to be the biggest day of his life, and he wanted a blow-out, as many friends there as possible, dancing, music, love, yeah, he really said that, and…”

She sat back smiling, and looked around the group. “He said that we had clearly got more than enough love in us to stand by you, to bring you to life, those were his words, that he wanted people with love in their hearts to be there to see his own love celebrated. He’s a bit soppy, that one, but I can see where he’s coming from, so I suspect only his beardy man in the sky knows where the money is coming from to pay for it all!”

Larinda coughed. “Er, he’s getting a bit of help with that one. Eric told me that the friends and family have put a load in. I mean, his parents are deceased, yeah, and it would anyway be down to Merry’s lot, and, Simon, he’s not like that, and so Annie, and Steph, and…”

I gave her a hug. “I know that look. Can I assume we’ve already contributed?”

I don’t often get to see my wife blush. She just nodded, and I smiled at the others.

“Well, the music alone should be worth the money! Hays, you going to sing for Simon?”

“Will there be Welsh people there, Aunty Jill?”

Oh yes. Rather a lot of them. I sat and thought of Karen’s words, how she had seen the hope that I had denied myself, and started a mental search of my wardrobe.

Life was good and getting better.