Lately I have been shying away from anything violent or depicting violence. It's gotten so bad that even too much tension in a movie or story will cause me to walk out or close that page.
This week end, with the 9/11 stuff splashed all over the media, it was very hard. Oh, I get feeling the sorrow, and honoring the victims, but I do that sort of thing privately, very privately. I don't wish to wail in public to get others to recognize me as being something else. It pisses me off to the max how the media can feed off our grief to make money on it. Believe me, you do not want to know what I see as the cause of 9/11.
OK, so no drama, suicide or anything self aggrandizing. I know I can't go see my military psych person because she will just want me on a bunch of drugs that fuck me up, so they can kiss my ass. I'm gonna go shower, clean the apartment, and then go sit by a local waterfall to see if I can stop the pity party.
Comments
Believe me, you don't want to know...
...what had actually happened that day.
You should not look into Building 7 fall, that happened about quarter hour after announcement by BBC thet it fell...
As for PTSD... Bear with it. It is not nice. It is not easy. Just don't read papers, don't watch TV news, watch funny kittens on YouTube. Or have some desensitizing by watching Tom and Jerry...
For some strange reason I have PTSD like symptoms from watching lots of comedy shows. Especially where humor is based on humilation... And it happens for as long as I remember. And I have qute continuous memories of myself since about 2 years of age... And yes, I stopped watching news on TV about 8 years ago. Actually, I stopped watching TV at that time. Never regretted it for a second. Recommend it wholeheartedly to everyone! Berate myself for not stopping watching TV earlier... It would have saved so much time... It would have saved me so much nerves and grey hairs...
I understand Gwen, 15 years
I understand Gwen, 15 years ago my led a dozen volunteer funeral directors to NYC his group's job was identification. He still has nightmares.
The news media and reporters are heartless vampires, the more sorrow or pain you have the better on the 11 O'Clock news.
They stayed far, far, away from my cousin's group.
You can't find volunteers to help you out?
Karen
Ride it out
I went for a three hour hike in the mountains, and I'll avoid any exposure to it.
Thanks, Gwen
The VA sucks!
I too, have PTSD from my service time. Though I don't talk about it, I was in Mortuary Affairs and that got me a trip to Jonestown, Guyana, and also to Grenada. I have nightmares every night, and can watch all of the events on a daily basis.
The fine folks at the VA Hospital always want to give me drugs which I refuse to take. I've done the counseling thing and avoid watching anything remotely associated with those events. October and November are always difficult for me as that was when the events happened so very shortly I will be watching nothing but movies on my lap until the middle of December.
Go ahead and relax someplace where you feel safe and close out the world. You are not alone and we are all here to support and comfort you.
Red Dog
Thanks
That's going to be my strategy also.
Gwen
Bizarre Events
I was in a place that connected me very closely to events and now looking back it all seems like an episode of Twilight Zone. Bush getting on national TV and blithely lying his head off and then his unholy trio taking their turns doing the same. I know certain things about it all that no one believes. Bush lying to the Congress 26 times, and then the press being culpable to all this. It just goes on and on. And now knowing that the military/industrial complex is engineering another war to make money. There were things about the buildings ... it just goes on and on, what they didn't find in Iraq, the cover stories, the yellow cake, the demo charges, oh people are so gullible and don't want to know
I hope you know,
that you can call me, any time, day or night, if you need to talk. My computer is always on and skype is active whether or not I appear to be online.
Warm soft fuzzy huggles.
Cathy
As a T-woman, I do have a Y chromosome... it's just in cursive, pink script.
huggles, Gwen
been fighting with the PTSD thing myself, so I know where you're coming from
On the brightside you have a plan.
"OK, so no drama, suicide or anything self aggrandizing. I know I can't go see my military psych person because she will just want me on a bunch of drugs that fuck me up, so they can kiss my ass. I'm gonna go shower, clean the apartment, and then go sit by a local waterfall to see if I can stop the pity party."
It sounds like you know what you need to do. And what not to do. I wish you luck in feeling better.