Someone messed with the radio in my car and rather than my usual Tweeny Pop station, I found myself listening to Public Radio. They were reviewing a book by Jessica Stern called "Denial: A Memoir of Terror. This woman has been to Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, and who knows where else interviewing known terrorists. She says she interviewed 40 of them and in every single case, the boys in the Islamic schools were subjected to sexual assault as a means to control them and to aid in radicalizing them. As she talked to these individuals, every one of them wanted to disgrace the west or their victims.
So then, she said along the way, she began to feel very sad, and when she returned to the states she was diagnosed with PTSD, as I and a number of others here are also. It may be a good book for some of us to read. I am not feeling very strong right now so I may not for a while.
In her talk, it became very clear to me that my Childhood abuse, and molestation are very connected to my religious beliefs, and to my Kinky bents. She also realized that at 14 her and her sister were both raped at gun point in their own homes by a man who turned out to be a serial rapist (now dead), and that his criminal record indicated that he had likely been molested by Priests at both his church and his Catholic School.
Please, no one go jumping to the conclusion that because we were molested that we will molest. I haven't and this is her story, not mine or anyones here. I just thought that all the connections she made were really interesting.
Much peace
Khadijah Gwen
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At my Endo about a month ago whilst twiddling my thumbs I read this article set in Gaza dealing with a woman that theoretically helped girls who had been raped or mistreated in some way. She was regarded as a saint of sorts... thing was she used this situation to turn the girls into human bombs. It was only when a couple were caught and disarmed that the story came out. I actually remembered seeing film of this one girl strapped to column near I think a railway station whilst Israeli troops tried to disarm the bomb attached to her. I think they succeeded.
It makes sense in a horrible sort of way that 'vulnerable' people will be easier to 'abuse'. Plenty of evil to go around I have no doubt. It always comes back to the individual and how they deal with things. We each have to make choices and there will always be consequences, good or ill. Karmic ripples or something maybe. Live right and be good eh. Well as right and as goodish as we can I guess.
Kristina
Not to become an offender.
My therapist did also tell me that because I had been abused, she did not see my becoming an offender and it is interesting that so many offenders were themselves abused, but most of us who are abused do not offend. Gee, I feel like I am talking in circles here. Maybe I'll just be quiet on that now. :)
Some women in Islam are a special case. Abuse of them is written right into the religion according to some Muslim women I know. And I think that it is all about each persons interpretation. In Islam, it is the men who get all the say on how things will go. Still, the women have this comaradarie and support each other very well. Gaza is a case that none of us, where I live, understand. I know several Lebanese Muslimahs and they left because of the craziness.
Much peace
K
Truth is,
the overwhelming majority of us who have been victimized and have survived don't become offenders because we, as my therapist says, don't have it in us. Here's a link that might be helpful.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_sexual_abuse
Gwen, dearest, I've said this before, but it always bears repeating; I am so glad you survived your childhood, and I am glad to know you.
She was born for all the wrong reasons but grew up for all the right ones.
Con grande amore e di affetto, Andrea Lena
Love, Andrea Lena
The loss of innocense
Thanks for the kind words Andrea. I am well aquainted with the information in that link, and recognize all the symptoms in my own life. Still, to let that sort of thing rule us is to let the evil win, and I certainly have too much love in me to allow that. The problem with those traits that some of us carry, is that we see them as a reflection on our own personal character if we do not understand them.
I have finally realized from wence came my desire to be punished at times. At one time, I was actively seeking a Master; to be under his control at all times and to be chained and beaten when I transgressed. Looking back, I can see where at times, even as a child, I actively sought out a beating by purposely doing some transgression so I would be beaten. For years I thought that made me a pervert, when in fact it was simply learned behavior, taught me by some very sick people.
As I write this, I have made an appointment for suitable punishment, not because I am evil, but owing to old patterns, I am feeling really insecure about my upcoming move. We do what we can. :)
Much Peace
Khadijah Gwen
What most folks miss is that
What most folks miss is that while most molesters were molested themselves, most folks who were molested *do* go on to molest.
As a Venn diagram you'd have a really big circle that was "folks who were molested", and a much smaller one that was "molesters". With most of the small circle inside the big circle.
But most folks just *assume* that the "most X are Y" implies "most Y are X". And that's rarely true.
Brooke brooke at shadowgard dot com
http://brooke.shadowgard.com/
Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls
It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world
"Lola", the Kinks
Molesters ? ? ! ??
"What most folks miss is that while most molesters were molested themselves, most folks who were molested *do* go on to molest." Huh?
I agree that most molesters were molested, but I find that saying most people who were molested become Molesters to be particulary hurtful and accusatory. I certainly do not agree because I raised three children and never touched them.
I certainly hope that you are wrong.
Much Peace
K