Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 2957

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The Daily Dormouse.
(aka Bike, est. 2007)
Part 2957
by Angharad

Copyright© 2016 Angharad

  
-Dormouse-001.jpg

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
*****

“How can you possibly have four transgender daughters, you must be encouraging them.” This was asked by someone who was obviously male despite wearing a dress.

“I didn’t encourage them but I did allow them space and time to explore gender roles, so I didn’t discourage them.”

“But most transgender children go on to become gay not seek reassignment.”

“I can’t answer for others but my own seem content in their new roles.”

“Only because you make them.”

“I can assure you, Cathy doesn’t make them live as girls, it’s all their own choosing,” Debbie stepped in.

“You should have discouraged them, all you’re doing is building up problems for later life.”

“On what authority do you make that pronouncement?” I fired back at him.

“Well it’s obvious, isn’t it?”

“No because for the most part all I saw was depression or frustration because they wanted to dress as girls—actually they wanted to become girls, I simply allowed them to experiment.”

“But you shouldn’t have—can’t you see, they’d have been normal if you’d made them toe the line.”

“I disagree. Two were presenting as female, one eventually gave in to her urges and the encouragement of some of my daughters and the last one was doing it without my knowledge. When he revealed it to me, I was less than enthusiastic but he kept on and I finally allowed him to crossdress. She took to it like a duck to water despite having been quite a boyish boy. My husband was very disappointed but agreed if it was what she wanted to do, we’d let her in the hope she’d get fed up. She hasn’t.”

“How did they find you?” asked a younger person.

“I was asked to foster the first child who was subsequently dumped on me and if you recall had mobility problems. When we got her mobilised by a bit of sleight of hand, the doctor she was under asked if I do the same with another child who happened to be transgender but presenting as female. She was aged five but had negotiated the right to wear girl’s clothing and be called by a girl’s name.”

“At age five, come off it,” was heckled.

“She is a remarkable child. At her custody hearing, when we were seeking to adopt her, she actually followed the judge through his chambers and negotiated with him.”

“How do we know you’re not just making this up?”

“Why would I do that? It makes no sense. Look, I didn’t want to come here and talk about my children but I did as a favour to Debbie. I know we constitute a cluster effect in Portsmouth, but as they all came from here to begin with, what difference does it make?”

“I reckon you con them into becoming girls.”

“I can assure you I don’t and they are all under the care of a consultant psychiatrist with some experience of gender identity disorder.” I was beginning to wish I hadn’t bothered.

“I don’t believe you.”

“This morning, I was going to talk about my experiences with my one daughter and mentioned this at breakfast and to my surprise, they all said I could talk about them if it helped someone else. In part, I wished I’d brought one of them with me, to confirm my statement. If I’d brought one of them, she’d have argued the toss with her for the rest of the evening, she doesn’t give up and loves to argue. If I’d brought the teenager, she’d have flounced off having told you where to go. Believe me, I didn’t force anyone of them to dress or act like girls.”

“But if they’re living in that sort of environment, isn’t it more likely they’ll do the same as the rest of the girls?” So far this was the first bit of logic I’d had thrown at me.

“I don’t know and accept it could have been a factor although I did discuss this with the paediatric psychiatrist we use. She could see no evidence for it and said that she’d look out for it more in future.”

“Are they following some unconscious agenda you have?”

“Again I asked this of the psychiatrist and she could find no evidence for it but I am aware of it.”

“Aren’t you just in denial?”

“I don’t think so and neither does anyone else.”

“You mentioned other daughters, how many do you have, exactly?”

“Ten.”

“Ten girls and you wonder why the boys don’t want to compete? What are you some sort of man-hating lesbian?”

“I neither hate men nor am I gay, I’m happily married to a lovely man.”

“So you haven’t tried to convert him then?”

“What have I got to do to prove to you that I didn’t cause any of them to choose to be female, they all did it themselves, I just gave them space and made no judgement about them.”

“I think that’s enough now, let’s thank Cathy for coming to speak to us this afternoon.” Debbie once again stepped in and closed down the session. “Dinner is at seven but the bar is open from six, see you all later.”

“Thanks, Cathy, sorry there were some hostiles here today, normally it’s better than this.”

“Don’t bother asking me again, Debbie.” I walked away deciding to visit the loo before driving home. I’d just emerged when I ran into one of the awkward squad.

“You’re weird, you are,” he said to me—this coming from a man in a dress while we were standing in the ladies loo.

“And you’re not? Try looking in the mirror,” I said angrily as I pushed past them.

“I don’t damage children,” was called at my back. I chose to ignore it and go home because there was grave danger I’d have torn him to shreds both mentally and physically. I stormed out of the conference area and just my luck was recognised by a member of staff as I walked through reception.

“Lady Cameron, how nice to see you. Is there anything we can do for you today?”

“No,” I said and walked on to the car park, jumped in my car and drove out faster than I should. All the way home I decided that I would never have anything to do with groups of trannies ever again no matter what the cause.

I calmed down and drove home sedately. The girls were waiting for me when I got home and they were horrified when I mentioned the seeming abuse I received because I had so many transgender children, which they couldn’t accept because it was outside their experience or comprehension.

From now on I’ll stick to rodents, don’t get the same sort of problems from them.

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Comments

Odd,

Wendy Jean's picture

In our groups the other members would have been handling the hecklers. I wonder if the abuser was a self plant, to see how we lived. My new room mate is getting tired of some of the negative behaviors some of our group is showing, and is ready to drop out of the scene herself.

I freely acknowledge that we have some lulus in our group. A lot of our population is very damaged, and unfortunately it shows. I've had friends describe me as one of the more stable girls they know, which is a laugh when I think about it. The difference is I care deeply about other peoples feelings, and try to show respect, especially to people who are hurting.

One of my personal goals is to be a better person. As a man I felt like I was an asshole, but without T coloring my world I am much less aggressive and more caring. Both of which is on track for where I want to be. Now if I can only get my finances on track, and stop sleeping all the time.

And that's the reason why I don't belong to any Trans groups

Julia Miller's picture

You would think that a group would want to support each other, but it seems most trans groups are like this, at each other's throats. I don't need this either and I am content to be on my own. The heckler was obviously a cross-dresser who identifies as a man and had no real reason to be in a trans group in the first place.

Nautical perspective parallall to the rodent thing -

There are many dangerous cargoes that a mariner will encounter in life but a passenger cargo is the only one that argues and answers back.

Still lovin' it Ang

bev_1.jpg

My Dad would have agreed

Christina H's picture

I often asked him if he had ever sailed on a liner his answer always was "I'm not house trained enough for them"

Christina

Bev, have her relax, she

Bev, have her relax, she looks cute, great gams (you'll explain gams)

Karen

Mirroring my own experiences

This'll probably get me in trouble. I don't think that transgender groups help much. Writing and correspondence on BCTS seems to have been the most productive to me. I've been in VA trans group that is a mixed bag, and then I tried the local LGBT transgroup, and that was a bloody joke, they being very focused on forcing the government and others to do their bidding.

Oddly, I have had absolute acceptance and love from a group that I will leave unnamed. Their effect in my life has been sweet and healing, though we have had our differences, and sharp ones. I believe they are trying hard to understand and be supportive.

It is unfortunate that Cathy ran into such plonkers, but my own experience with a certain group was similar.

Nice episode.

Gwen

Beumont group in UK helped

Beumont group in UK helped but some tgs are prats. Been full time since 2003 so dont go to meetings now or away to tranny weekends. After all dont need to go away to dress when I go to Asda shopping even take the person I look after who is in a wheelchair fishing the other day he had6 carp to18 lbs I had 4 to 9lb and a 2 lb Tench all living as Jane. So I do not need to go to meetings now.But they were useful back in the day.Had my Transit MOT done again as Jane so ther you go but the meeting do work when you first come out.

A weak attempt at levity

A weak attempt at levity follows.
Where was this support group headquartered, North Carolina. If AA meetings were like this, they'd have an open bar.

Does this happen at these meetings, a guest speaker coming to give her experiance with TG/TS children, and they're heckled ?
Spectacular chapter Angie, sounds a bit like real life, doesn't it though ?

Karen

Foxy

Dahlia's picture

I'm going to throw the fox in the hen house here!
In my experience, when I first came out to my family and friends, I thought that I needed to join a group. For some reason I could not find one in the prejudiced town I was living in, Boise Idaho, so I just lived my life and suffered through the hate and comments. I had been full time for a year before a friend invited me to a group meeting. What a disappointment that was. Now mind you I do not judge but some things are so blatantly obvious that the situation may as well have a sign on it 'crossdressers and fakes anonymous'. What I found, the two times I went, was that 90% of the attendees were just blokes in dresses with a place to feel safe in their fetish. All they could talk about was the high heels, mini-skirts and their wigs or clothing purchases. No attempt was made to change the speaking voice, the way they walk or acted and above all behaved. To them it seemed a chance to enjoy what filled their kink and then back to the male job and life again in the morning. I was living it full time and have never looked back.

All too often there are those who pretend to be "transsexual" to fulfil their sexual need when there are others who it is a matter of survival. They learn the right 'speak', act the proper way, kinda, and then say 'I'm a woman' inside this male body. The other one is 'I need to change genders'. I'm sorry but I am not transgender! I am transsexual. To be trans means to change from one to another and then the journey is done. When I have my final surgery, to change my physical sex, I will then be the full female my mind has always told me I am, full stop!. I am not, have not nor will ever change my gender. I was born with an external birth defect which the medical world then labelled me as male. My mind has always felt and known I was female. Let there be a line in the sand, at least to my mind, we are not the same as the transgenders if we have always known who we are. We are transsexuals who need to fix our bodies to match what we have always known we should have been born as.

Dahlia

I don't belong to any groups....

D. Eden's picture

I am aware of a few, and I correspond with a few of their members, but have never attended a meeting.

I recently got my ex involved with a support group that was in fact recommended by several members of one of the groups in question - and she tells me it has been a great help to her. She has since been trying to get me to join a group - to which I have repeatedly said, "No thanks."

She feels it will help me by giving me someone to talk to, but I have professional help through my long term therapist, and I have numerous friends online that I talk to when I feel the need.

What my ex doesn't quite understand is that many of these groups are not really for support, but more for socializing. There are too many part time cross dressers involved who simply want a place to dress and then go out drinking and dancing, etc.

If I want to go out, I simply go out - and the last thing I want to do when I go out is be associated with a bunch of obvious cross dressers and men in drag. Like most true sufferers of gender disphoria, my desire is to blend in - to be seen as a woman and not as a man in a dress. How does hanging out with a bunch of cross dressing men help me? Besides potentially placing me in a position where my identity and gender automatically come into question.

No, support groups for friends and family are a great thing, and I have nothing against the help and support of my true sisters, but most of these organizations do not exist for that.

On a happier note, I was out shopping with my ex last Sunday when one of my middle son's co-workers and girlfriend happened upon us. My son is a police officer, and his co-worker is much older, being the same age as my ex, and both he and his girlfriend actually attended school with my ex, hence how he knows her. We were at the cash register checking out, my ex standing some six feet or so behind me looking at a display while I paid for my purchases. My son's co-worker stopped and talked to my ex for a few moments and then moved with his girlfriend to the next register to pay for their own purchases.

Meanwhile, I finished paying for my merchandise and turning to my ex, asked if she was ready to go. She then said goodbye to the other couple and we left the store. My ex was somewhat upset when we got to the car as the gentelman's girlfriend is a huge gossip - she was sure that we would be the talk of the town by the next day.

Well, the punchline to this little joke is that my son's fellow officer ran into him today and told him that he had seen his mother shopping on Sunday with "a tall, attractive woman that he didn't recognize."

That absolutely made my day!

D. Eden

Dum Vivimus, Vivamus

Support groups

I have been a member of 2 support groups. One was exclusively CD and the other tried to welcome all, but was predominately CD. As most of us know, CD and TS are very different. As some of the comments suggest, these groups may be more helpful for CD. But I feel strongly that TS and CD should work together under the TG banner. I think such groups are an important part of our community. They provide a safe place to explore our gender identity, and remedy the feeling of isolation many of us grew up with. I also think such groups are under represented in our literature.

Ditto, plus...

... In one support group for a different cause. A handful of us from the group, became a mini-group to ourselves. I think a group of 4-10 have an easier time to really develop a rapport and a sense of confidence with each other to be supportive and grow. The larger group becomes more social and hopefully able to advocate their being more generally accepted.

The one TG/CD group I've been in was about a dozen of us. Needing each other, it was in our interest to make it work and it did.

O by the way Angharad, I like the chapter and the story. You definitely spoke to many of us.

Jessie

Jessica E. Connors

Jessica Connors

The only group I can stomach is a TS focused group

I've been to mixed groups and it is awkward. The TSes laugh when the crossdressers going out 'dressed'. The typical snarky remark from the TS side is 'are you nude the rest of the time?' made amongst themselves.

That said, I have better things to do now for that one Friday of the month that TS group meets; 50 miles away from me, as I am post-op.

Going out to dinner with that group after the meeting to a local mainstream diner is interesting as there are a potpourri of transition stages represented here, with the post-ops or near post-ops providing mentorship. Surprisingly, there has been no trouble at these outings as the group is large enough and typically the members do make an effort. There are the usual misinformed comments from the general public in the background now and again (I pass of course, so) but there no one has ever been attacked in the parking lot (though efforts are made not to leave alone if there are passing difficulties) nor yelled at with obscenities, etc.

Still, I can do without the stress of worrying that something can happen and have dropped out of it for years now and don't have any urge to go back any time soon.

Interesting

Christina H's picture

And one of the reasons that I didn't want and still don't want anything to do with any support group All I ever wanted to be was my
true self and blend in with the rest of society.
If I wanted to talk I had professional help which is to my mind far more use than 'opinions and hearsay' I was lucky as 90% of my
friends, family - and yes work colleagues were supportive (probably not fully understanding).

As was mentioned earlier this does sound life like but then how would I know? I am in full agreement with the views of Dahlia and Dallas
when you plough your own furrow it's hard and not for everyone but at least any mistakes are your mistakes.

Another great instalment and very thought provoking - just how do you do it?

Christina

i think one of the reasons for support groups

Wendy Jean's picture

is being over looked. Dallas is an oasis of civility in a sea of hostility, and the hostility does not start at city limits. People need a safe place to hang out. Because they feel safe some of them indulge in some bad behaviors, which can make the meetings a bit less pleasant, but they are needed. I was lucky to be able to attend group therapy when I was starting out, which was much better and more helpful. But it cost money, whereas the support groups don't. There is a core of us (call us volunteers) that will take the more at risk folks under our wings, and offer real support outside the meetings. I am convinced we have prevented more than one suicide by being there and caring.

Isn't that what it is all about?