by Edeyn Hannah Blackeney
Monday, 10 September, 2007
Dear Diary
I hate her!
I hate hate hate hate hate her!
How could she do that? I mean, she's my Grandma!
Okay. I'll calm down. I just -- I can't believe she'd do that! Calling in CPS on her own daughter? I mean, I think the only person more angry right now than me is Mom! Alright. Start at the beginning. I can do that.
Grandma Thatcher called CPS -- that's Child Protective Services -- and told them that Mom and Daddy were FORCING their SON to live as a girl! They showed up at the school to take me away! Principal Soames put a stop to it, and called in Miss Wiggums -- the Counselor lady -- and once the lady from CPS saw the paperwork from Doc Gwen (and Doc Marty, too, he was a nice guy) that explained it all, she apologized to me. That's when Grandma blew her stack. Miss Wiggums went NUTSO! It was awesome, and scary at the same time. I'm just glad she was on my side. By the time it was all over, the police were there and Doc Gwen was there... and now, Grandma Thatcher isn't allowed, "Within 500 yards of the minor, her grandchild known as Courtney Audrey Tackinnison formerly known as Ethan David Ian Tackinnison, until such time as the parents of said minor lift this Restraining Order." There was also something about making life and transition harder for me being part of the restrainment thingy. Oh, and then Doc Gwen was angry, too, and saying something about, "mental anguish," and stuff.
Mom could chew nails. Not the finger kind. The kind you bash through wood with a hammer.
Grandpa was threatening to have her committed when he picked her up from the school. She was threatening to tell the newspaper so that the "decent" people in town would make me be Ethan again.
Just... just... just...
How could she?
Courtney
Comments
Some People Are So Dense
Courtney's grandmother is rock headed and apparently nothing gets through her dense skull. She cares very little about the needs of her granddaughter and is only concerned with how other people will see this. It is ironic that her grandfather is the one who is the most accepting of her. Most often the female relatives tend to be more openminded, but not here. It will be interesting to see what is driving her grandma to act this way. I have an aunt who is considered "the crazy one" in the family. She took it upon herself to "out" me to my grandmother before I was able to talk to her first. She told my grandmother things about it that were not true and even suggested that my therapist be arrested for malpractice. The nutcase tried to blame my grandmother's death on me too. The rest of the family knew that the medical examiner ruled it as Arterio Schlerosis from eating fried food for over 75 years. I was just a convenient scapegoat. The woman never even showed up at my grandmother's wake or funeral.
Jenn
Dear Courtney
Omigosh!
She's gone bonkers!
It's so easy to judge isn't it?
I know this kinda sounds that I'm taking your grandmother's side, but I'm not--honestly.
We live next door to a family that for some reason can only appear to communicate to each other by shouting. The dog barks, the kids scream and the mother yells at the top of their lungs.
So what does that mean?
It means that people are different and have different ways of dealing with stuff. We think it's horrible, but it's just their way.
Your grandmother is no different. She is dealing with something she doesn't understand her way. I'm not saying it's the right way, just her way--same as so many others.
I hope she comes round. In the meantime, chin up and buckle up girly, this is gonna be one hell of an adventure . . .
A. Wellwischer
Delusions of Grandma
Yeah, I know it's Carrie Fischer's gag but it fits here. When I read that:
"Remember, Sport, that your mom is my little girl and that all parents have
to make rough decisions for their children, which can sometimes embarrass them."
I was afraid she was going to try something like this. I like the way you captured
that whole epic battle in just a few quick brushstrokes, Edeyn. Just how deep
in is she liable to dig herself if she decides that no lousy restraining
order is gonna tell her what to do? Tune in tomorrow!
~~~hugs, Laika
"Government will only recognize 2 genders, male + female,
as assigned at birth-" (In his own words:)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1lugbpMKDU
Yes, I was wondering...
When Courtney seemed to "get it" yesterday, I thought I must have missed it,
since it certainly sounded like grandma had made a decision to do something
harmful.
What Courtney Got
Heh. Sorry, considering the author of the comment I had to phrase the title of this one that way...
She understood that her mother was embarrassed by her grandmother, which was why she was mumbling about embarrassing parents.
Confused in the right way
Yeah, I got that the mother was embarrassed by grandma... and that Courtney understood *that*.
I was confused by (rightly) understanding that grandma had something nasty up her sleeve and thinking I must be wrong.
Which is what would have happened if I'd been there and heard it. I would have been thinking "What?"
Kaleigh
So would I
But Courtney is 14. And isn't the type to look for hidden meaning in what her Grandma said. After all... adults are there to protect kids, right?
That line
Is what cast Grandma Thatcher into the role of villain (at least, the initial villain). I admit fully that I have a serious Grandmother bias. Out of the 7 grandmothers I've had... ONE was a woman that was worth being around. My ex-stepmother's stepmother.
Dear Courtney
Dear Courtney,
What an aweful, nerve wracking experience. It is a shame that your Grandmother has such strong views that are detrimental to the sucess of your new life. As infuriating as it is right now, I believe that deep down inside she loves you very much and is just going through the denial stage of acceptence, or perhaps now she is in the anger stage. ;)
I sure hope that the principal and counselor were able to keep a lid on how things were developing so that your classmates won't get wind of it. We all know how a rumor in Highschool can spread like wild fire. I have to say though, I am jealous of the support that you have at school. The Principal and counselor were on the ball and stopped CPS becore they could even blink. And the fact that Dr. Gwen came down personally, shows how much she cares about you
Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to have Grandma 'go away' for a little bit. Perhaps Grandpa can take her to Hawaii or on a cruise to get her out of town so that she can think and settle down a bit. . . As if it's the buisness of the towns people to know that you are finally able to be yourself.
Give your mother lots of hugs tonight. I'm sure she is just as angry and iratated as you are at your Grandmother. of course a nice thank you card sent to your Grandfather might cement his support for you even more. ;)
Snoops
Remarkable story, this is a story, right?
Hey, everybody, this is a story, not real life, okay?
Still it's so real life feeling I can see why our comments are as if we are talking to the child or mom. I would think if granny blabs to the public or the press she will get found out and end up in jail for breaking the court order/contempt of court.
Either she is deluded but nice and thinks her daughter really is forcing the child, she's a religious nutter who sees it as an abomination and her duty to *save* the child or she's simply embarased and uses anything else as an excuse. Is the mom her only child? If so she has allienated every member of her family. Should she blab the secret, she will likely be devorced and it will be a nasty one. If the child or anyone around her get hurt, granny could do hard time.
When Grannies go Bad! Sounds like a sleasy film about older ladies at Mardi Gras.
Oooh, I just had a crazy thought. Did granny have a friend/boyfriend who outed to her and they broke up? That could explain her extream reaction.
Great stuff, Edeyn. Hope your recovery is going well.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
Her own grandmother "outed"
Her own grandmother "outed" her and turned her parents and her into CPS! What gall!
She is an uncaring and unfeeling person for her very special granddaughter and even for her own daughter. She is more interested in herself and her reputation than she is about her family. She is a hurtful, hateful, destructive person; when she should be a welcoming, supportive, role model for a young girl such as her granddaughter Courtney.
I was most fortunate to have a Grandmother who totally accepted and supported me even before others in the family, including my parents, did. She even went with me to my doctor appointments and met other girls like me, if they happened to be there also.
She accepted them all, and I might add she was at that time in her 80's. She always introduced me to her friends, young and old, as her oldest granddaughter, as I was the oldest of all her grandchildren. She taught me a lot about being a woman.
I really feel badly and very sorry for Courtney and her parents for the oafish treatment they are receiving from the grandmother and I hope the grandfather brings his wife down a notch or two. J-Lynn
It's not all that surprising
My grandparents, well actually just about my entire family feel the need to out me when they can. Just recently my parents and brothers realized the danger of it. My grandparents and other relatives don't seem to grasp the concept yet. Oh well, when they cause me to be brutally beaten, maybe then they'll understand. Not only that but when my Aunt Sandra accepted me, they looked down on her, and constantly pressured her to stop "aiding my life of sin" ><
I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Transgender, Gamer, Little, Princess, Therian and proud :D
That's scary!
That one's own FAMILY would do something like that. I know it happens. I can even see some folks I'm related to "understanding" where the grandmother was comming from, but actually doing it? I dunno...
Thanks for sharing this Diary with us.
Annette