The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 2873 by Angharad Copyright© 2016 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
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James was lying on the grass his hands and feet fixed with cable ties that even James Bond couldn’t break without lacerating his wrists. The ties were cutting into his flesh and his hands were quite blue. Using my penknife I cut both ties and he rubbed his feet and hands vigorously.

“Sorry about this,” he said removing the gag from his mouth.

“That’s okay, I’ll deduct it from your bill.”

He laughed. It took fully ten minutes to get him mobilised and even then his long legs were a bit shaky. “What’re you doing here?” he addressed to Danielle.

“Don’t criticise her, she helped take out one of your guards.”

“Really?”

“Yes. She poked him in the eye with her mascara wand.”

“Muuum,” she protested but James roared with laughter.

Neither of the recently wounded were lying where we’d left them, and we’d have to tell the police about the abandoned gun before some kid finds it and shoots his mother or himself.

“Now folks we might have a little problem because they could be watching the car and if they have guns...”

“We’d be easier targets in the car,” suggested James.

“Would we? The car travels faster than we can.”

“It doesn’t travel at the speed of sound like a bullet does and nothing will protect us if they shoot at the windows.”

“You two could lie down on the seats while I drive.”

“Cathy, you’d have no chance. A few bullets in the middle of the doors would hit something.”

“So what do we do?” I asked.

“D’you have any money with you?” he replied.

“Some, not a great deal.”

“I’ve got some, guys,” offered Danni.

“Why not call a taxi?”

“What about my car? I’ll need it in the morning.”

“I’ll call up some backup to check it out and bring it home.”

So that’s what we did, called a cab and rode home. I was annoyed that I’d ripped the knee out of one leg of my jeans and grazed the appendage underneath. I also had a few bruises, but nothing like James, he was covered in them, including some in some very private places. It might be just as well he doesn’t want children.

Simon was livid when I reported what had happened, “Some bloody bodyguard he is.”

“It could happen to anyone, even you have been captured by hostiles.”

“I know, babes, but he’s supposed to be a professional.”

“I’m sure his portrayal of a prisoner was very professional.”

“So’re you going to send the police round to O’Connor’s place?”

“It would be my word against his.”

“What about James, doesn’t his word count?”

“He’s working for me and would be seen as a hostile witness.”

“I just saw the second lot of documents—wouldn’t be surprised if O’Connor’s doing a runner. I hope you don’t mind, we sent a copy of them to The Guardian.”

“Why? Oh Si, that was the only weapon I had against him.”

“The Guardian were very pleased and promised to publish something tomorrow that will make his position untenable. If he isn’t arrested for several reasons, it will mean he’s done a runner.”

“But I wanted him to stand trial, for those people he directly or indirectly hurt or killed. They deserve to have justice.”

“They will have.”

“How d’you know?” Then a horrible thought crossed my mind and made me run cold enough to shiver. “You haven’t, have you?”

“Haven’t what?”

“Put out a bounty on him.”

“Don’t be silly.”

“Oh good.”

“It was a Mars bar.” He chuckled to himself.

“You haven’t put a bounty on him, have you?”

“I just answered that.”

“Answer it sensibly—please, I need to know.”

“Yes I have.”

“How much?”

“Ten K with a further five if he’s convicted.”

“Am I eligible?” I asked.

“Yes of course, your parents were married, weren’t they?”

“Duh,”

“Oh does it mean you can read and write?” he threw at me before laughing so much he got hiccups.

I had just warmed up somewhat when there was a knock at the door. James disappeared with my car keys and a new type Range Rover shot away down the drive.

I was trying to explain to Stella what had happened when the sound of engines and the flash of lights in the drive announced his return.

“You car is in the drive, oh mighty pay-lady.”

“Thank you, you haven’t told me how they caught you?”

“Sadly I was suckered.”

“Ooh, I’m all ears.” I squealed.

He grabbed my head and examined first, one ear and then the other. “You are not all ears and those you have are exquisite.” With that he pecked me on the cheek.

“James, can we sleep tonight?”

“What you and me?” he said putting his hands together as if in prayer.

“No, the family—you oversexed tea bag.”

“Hey, I resent that remark, I’m a coffee man.”

I giggled at that and he pretended great hurt and indignation.

“You should all be safe, now.”

“Any news on Tom?”

“No, but having routed the hostiles I can give it my full time.”

“Find him safe, won’t you?”

“I’ll do my best. He’s a tough old cookie, he’ll be okay.”

“I wish I were as certain,” I said quietly.

“Okay, assuming he’s still alive and I’ve no reason to believe otherwise, we’ll find him and bring him home. That’s best I can do.”

“I know, good luck with it,” I said as I pecked him on the cheek.

“For you, madam, it will be a real pleasure.”

Next moment he was waving from the back of the Range Rover as they shot down the drive.

“Oh, has Jim gone?” asked Danielle.

“Yes why?”

“We were gonna show him something.”

“Show me instead.” I followed her to the dining room where Trish was grinning ear to ear.

“Why are you looking so pleased with yourself?” I asked of our resident genius.

“This,” she pointed to a CCTV clip showing O’Connor walking down from the castle and back to the car park. It gave dates and times as well.

“So we can tie him into the scene at the correct time—wonderful.”

“Yes, I am,” said Trish unselfconsciously and Danielle nearly fell over laughing.

I got her to mark the camera and time so we could refer James to it. I looked really good from our point of view and I was sure once we showed it to the police, the rest would be a formality. We wouldn’t actually show the police but ask where there were CCTVs in the area and let them find it. Okay, it’s leading our witnesses but who cares?

I asked Danni if she’d brought in the other stuff from the car and she said she hadn’t. I replied that I’d better go and get it. She then jumped up and said she would and snatched the keys from my hand.

“She just likes the way the boot opens remotely,” said the brain box.

“Probably.”

We were still chuckling about this when there was a scream from the drive way and my blood froze.