On the ride back to Casa Keller, I had time to brood over my latest near-miss with Doctor Dale. I also had time to calm down and think of ways to 'make lemonade'.

When I got home, after catching up with Dennis and Mikey, and dishing not nearly enough to satisfy them, about the soundtrack rehearsal and especially the star-fest that was the Ciregna tribute, I excused myself for a light lunch and a long soak in the Jacuzzi.

All the while, I was scheming ways to get together with Doctor Dale before we left for Asia.

I finally resigned myself to the best plan I could come up with.

Nearly pruned from the hot tub, I padded around in my robe and asked Dennis to see if he could track down Dez. It only took him about 15 minutes, and when Dez realized it was me on the phone, he seemed quite surprised.

“I figured I'd see you in just over a week when we left for the Asia leg, but this in an unexpected – but pleasant, surprise. To what do I owe the honour?”

“It's hardly an honour” I laughed. “I just wanted to fill you in on the rehearsal....”

“Kirk already....”

“....and I wanted to bounce some ideas off of you.”

“Oh.” He seemed surprised, but not dismissive.

“I don't know how much involvement you have in the original cast recording...”

“The corporate parent of the film company has farmed it out to their music division, so officially, not much.”

“Oh.” I said. Somewhat dejected.

“However...” I could hear him grinning over the phone “since we own the publishing rights and Kirk officially is under exclusive contract to us for all the Thornbirds music – used or unused I'd say we have a significant amount of ….leverage.”

“I see.” I beamed back. Maybe this could work.

“Well...” I began “I don't know how much Kirk told you about the rehearsal, but during the Europe tour, we all really kind of ...clicked.”

“Vienna.”

“You heard?” I wasn't surprised.

“Yes. The recordings and videos.”

“That was recorded?”

“It's routine. The sound board recording tap. Easier to record and discard over rights than to not capture it.”

“Makes sense. But video?”

“Just mobile phones and camcorders. Fans. ….Many of whom worked at the venue and could not believe what you had planned for that night. I think they were intending to record a spectacular accident.” I could hear the smile in his voice.

“I guess they were disappointed” I knew Dez could hear the smirk in mine.

“Gobsmacked was more like it. Some of these made their way to the net and came to our attention.”

“First I've heard of it. ...And my cousin Michael is pretty good at scraping the net.”

“Yeah. We unleashed a horde of lawyers on the opera company and they put the fear of God into their employees. I think they decided their jobs were worth more than 15 minutes of You Tube fame, so the clips came down pretty quickly.”

“Remind me not to get on your bad side.” I laughed.

“I don't think that's a worry” he chuckled. “SO. I am well aware of this 'chemistry' you mentioned...”

“Right... so I was just thinking...”

“Famous first words...” he teased.

“Yeah... so, the rehearsal went really well, and we all … I mean Kirk and all of us... started ...dreaming bigger.”

“Mission creep IS your middle name” Dez teased.

I cleared my throat theatrically. “AS I was saying...” I grinned. “Since we have so much more material to work with, I was thinking maybe we could get a crew.... maybe some film majors from USC and some kids from the music and recording arts programs... to intern as an extra credit project or something. They could shoot a 'making of' video which maybe if it turns out well, could be an extra on a 'deluxe' 'Birds collectors edition.... the music and recording arts kids could work with Kirk and the studio folks and get extra credit, great experience, and a hell of an entry on their C.V.... We would have an 'audience' to play to, and maybe....them being media savvy college kids and all.... if we didn't hold them to a draconian NDA like some people....” I paused until he laughed uncomfortably.

“....we could probably generate some serious social media buzz while the project is in progress and have an audience waiting for it when it's finally released.”

There was silence.

“...it was just a thought....” I muttered quietly.

“You....” he hesitated “I can't....”

Uh oh. He was choosing his words carefully. Looking for a diplomatic way to tell me how much I'd overstepped? I noticed I'd furrowed my brow and pursed my lips. I immediately caught myself thinking 'whoa! ...wrinkles!' and stopped. Still, I noticed my fingers were balled tightly with stress.

“...just a thought....” he said absentmindedly. I was feeling the knot form in my stomach.

“I thought after that sequel meeting with the studio suits that nothing you did would ever surprise me again. But THIS....”

I began to think that maybe he wasn't mad.

“I have to make some calls. How is your schedule?”

“Well, I have to pack for Asia... no wait... I have minions. And I was thinking of getting some tattoos... but I can reschedule...”

“You're a very funny girl.” he said sarcastically. “Seriously.”

“Well, Katherine's ...social schedule... isn't exactly packed...”

“So you can be down here on a moment's notice?”

“Unless my mystery date calls. Then we may go out for smoothies.”

“Riiight.... Something else I'm dying to catch up on with you. All right. I have to make a few calls, move a few mountains, disrupt a few families and make the impossible happen. Will you be around in an hour or so?”

“For you. Always.”

“I think Katherine's schedule is about to get packed.” He chuckled.

'Perfect' I thought to myself. “Um. OK. Talk to you soon.” I said and ended the call.

Then I picked up the phone again and called Doctor Dale.

“Ah! You got my message!” he cheerfully picked up. And just as suddenly his voice fell as he must have noticed the caller ID.

“...but you're already home.”

“Yes. Dennis was able to get me on an early shuttle. After we landed and I turned my phone back on, I saw your message.”

“Oh. Bad timing seems to be our.... Wait. You flew commercial?”

I instantly knew what he was thinking, because I had the same alarming fear when I found myself in the security queue.

“Yep. Smooth sailing. You do really good work.” I replied cheerfully.

“I didn't anticipate trouble, but still....”

“Honestly, I didn't even give it a thought until they directed me to the scanner. They probably took my discomfort for being the normal reaction to the scan. It was a great relief, but not really a surprise. Everyone said I would probably be fine.”

“Everyone?”

“OK. Just Dez. But he was right, and you are an artist. Or maybe a magician.”

“Well, the magician is only as good as his assistant. Well done.”

“OK... Hooray for us?” I said dismissively, hoping to get back on-topic.

“So....” Dale began. I think he wanted to get back on topic too. I waited for him to continue, then I realized he just said that expecting me to step in.

“OK. We haven't talked since the plane trip back from Katherine's. And a lot has happened since then.”

“...over the last 6 days...”

“Yeah. No. Wait... SIX DAYS?” That couldn't be right. But I quickly ran through things in my head. Damn. Six days. No wonder I was feeling overwhelmed. “Wow... you're right... only six days.”

“They were pretty full days by all accounts” he chuckled.

“I'll say.” I muttered absentmindedly, thinking out loud.

“And even GOD rested after six” he teased.

“I think that's because he didn't have anyone to talk to.” I smiled.

“So, what would you like to talk about?”

“Well.... in a word.... my future.”

“I see.” he paused for an uncomfortably long time. I tried to imagine just what was going through his mind, but could not. “And why exactly do you want to discuss this ...with me?”

“Oh. I'm sorry. It's not your problem, and I probably overstepped.” To my dismay, tears began to well up. I did not see this coming, “I just.... You seemed to have a good perspective and a healthy distance and I don't know who else I could even begin to talk to about this and I just thought...” the words came spilling out and I found myself gasping for air between run-on sentences and gulping down sobs as a tsunami of despair overwhelmed me.

“Oh God. I don't know what's...where the hell did this...” I swallowed hard trying to jam down the wave of emotion that overcame me from nowhere. “I'm sorry! I didn't expect... what the hell is... Oh, God. I'm sorry. I have no idea where that came from...” I gulped as I fought to regain control. “I never intended.... I'm SO sorry.... you're right. This is not your problem and, ohmygod, how did I become such a mess??!”

Dale chuckled kindly. I didn't get the feeling that he was laughing AT me. ...it was calm and reassuring.... kind of like he was consoling me that my outburst was no big deal and nothing to freak out over.

“The phone is is really no way to do this...” he soothed. “At least if you were in my office, I could offer you a tissue.”

“I'm fine” I laughed hesitantly. That was SO embarrassing! And I didn't see it coming until the emotion swallowed me up like a sinkhole. “I've got plenty here. Thanks for the thought though.” I smiled weakly. “I really AM sorry. This is NOT your problem. I shouldn't have bothered you.”

“Nonsense. At the moment you are under my care. And if you have a problem, it's my concern too. I was just curious why you chose to talk to me and not your cousin.... or to Desmond.”

“Oh. ...Well, Michael and I go way back. I don't know if he has the perspective. And actually, I discovered that we didn't know each other as well as we both thought.”

“Oh?”

“Well, at our initial meeting with Dez, I found out that he thought I was gay.”

“And how did that make you feel?”

“Surprised. Almost as surprised as when I realized that he thought I was gay ...like him.”

“And you had no idea.”

“Never entered my mind. Although in hindsight it explained a lot.”

“Hindsight is funny that way” he chuckled. “And you were surprised that he thought you were gay.”

“I guess we didn't really know each other at all.”

“Aside from the ….gay thing... what else about your cousin surprises you?”

“Well, nothing really. I guess he's the same.... just more relaxed now that the ...gay thing... is out in the open.”

“He's not overthinking things and self-censoring. He's just being himself and is more relaxed.”

“I guess so. Yes.”

“And if I asked him to describe you since that night... and how his relationship with you had changed...”

“I guess you'd have to ask him. I think we get along fine. We're still close. Maybe even closer..”

“And why do you think that would be?”

“I guess because it's just the two of us on an adventure so far from home....”

“And how is he with you ….being Katherine?....”

“Fine, I guess. ….more than fine actually.....”

“And why do you think that is?....”

“I don't …. what are you getting at?”

“I'm just trying to sort things out. It seems to me that you have little problem 'being Katherine'...”

“...Right.”

“In fact, you adjusted surprisingly quickly. Within about 24 hours you were fooling the international press at the Thornbirds premiere.”

“Uh, huh.”

“Why do you think you adjusted so quickly?”

“I don't know. I ran track and swam at school. When I was waiting for the start, I didn't think about it. I just put myself completely in the moment and just ...did it.”

“Or in this case, just WAS it.”

“Uh huh. I guess. I really didn't think about it. It didn't come from the head. It had to come..”

“..from the heart..”

“I was going to say from the gut. But I'll meet you halfway. It wasn't ...intellectual... it was...”

“Visceral?”

“Yeah. I guess. I felt it in my bones.”

“How do you think you did that?”

“I don't know. I never thought about it.”

“Do you think anyone else could do it?”

“Sure... I guess.... I never....”

“Try to imagine your cousin doing it.... or Dennis....”

I laughed. I tried to imagine it, but the images in my head were ….unconvincing.

“Look. I think I see what you're trying to do, and I appreciate it. But you don't have to convince me. I know I kind of.... nailed... being Katherine.”

“That's an understatement.” He laughed.

“But I didn't call to talk about the past or even the present. I'm sure Asia will be a lot of fun and far less stressful after doing the US and Euro-tours. But one of our stops will be Australia. And it's almost certain that Mikey will be meeting up with his family.”

“What about L.C's family?”

“I'm sure my mum will want to come out, and she'll probably drag my father along if she can.”

“And how do you feel about that? Who will they meet? Katherine?”

“Well, it is the Thornbirds tour, and Katherine will be very visible. I don't see how that can be avoided.... but strangely, I don't really have a problem with that.”

“Oh?” I could hear his eyebrow raising even over the phone.

“I'm comfortable enough as Katherine that I don't even think they could throw me. Apparently everyone already noticed the resemblance. Everyone but ME. Still, I do NOT think my mum would be brazen enough to tell Katherine Keller 'you look remarkably like my teenaged son' “

Doctor Dale laughed. 'No, I don't suppose she would.”

“So, I can handle any Katherine encounter... should it happen... which I will try to avoid.”

“And what about L.C. Meeting his parents. You're traveling with your cousin. They will expect to meet you.”

My heavy sigh said so much more than any words I could find. “I don't know what to do about that.”

“Oh?”

“The boy they sent away to chaperon his cousin to the states....”

“.....L.C.”

“I don't think he exists anymore.”

“Can you explain?”

“No. I'm not.... I know I'm not Katherine... I never was. I was just a really good ringer.... but that guy... who met Dez in the elevator that day... the shy, awkward, gangly kid who came to gawk at L.A. and go home to his sad, shabby life.... I'm as much that person as I am the three year old who had the accident in the middle of the Easter pageant. I know it's where I came from, and it lead me to where I am today... but I'm not who I was.”

“So who are you?”

I laughed. It sounded bitter, but it was really filled with dark mirth. “Certainly not who I expected to be.”

“I don't understand. Can you explain?”

“Not really.” I scoffed. “I can't understand it myself.” I told Dale about my experience with A.D.D. Ani's 'magic tea'. He was very quiet.

“Hello? Are you still there?”

“Yes. Still here.” he replied quietly. “And how do you feel now? After your....”

“I suppose 'epiphany' is as good a term as any”

“OK. How do you feel now?”

“Like a veil has been lifted. I can see everything clearly, but I'm still trying to determine exactly what I'm seeing. One thing is clear, though.”

“Yes?”

“I can't go back to being L.C. again. He's gone. It was hard enough pretending for my uncle Kevin in Belgium. I know Dennis and Michael saw more Katherine than boy. My uncle had never met Katherine, and he was really drunk... so I don't think he could put his finger on what was wrong. But even then I knew L.C. had ….slipped away from me.... I had kind of ...lost him... I faked it... badly... but I always figured, even then, that when this amazing adventure was over, Michael and I would just go home with a story we couldn't tell, that no one would ever believe anyway, and ….life would just resume.”

Dale just sighed into the phone.

“I know I can return home, but I can never go back.”

“So where does that leave you?”

“Thinking about my future. I mean after I go home and Katherine takes her life back.”

“Where do you see yourself?”

“I honestly don't know. I was hoping, with your insight, that you could help me ...explore my options.”

“We really need to do this face to face.” Dale sighed.

“Funny you should say that” I laughed, my old 'Katherine confidence' slowly returning. “Because while the almighty may have rested on the seventh day, I think Katherine has more business in the city of angels.” I was struck at how my confidence suddenly returned when I stopped thinking about 'life after Katherine' and refocused on life as Katherine.

Dale laughed. “What have you done now?”

“Me?” I asked in all innocence. That only made Dale laugh harder.

“Katherine's schedule was never as busy until you took it over.”

“What can I say? I like to keep busy. ...gives me less time to think....” I teased.

“Riiight. Because just like Katherine, you completely lack introspection!” he laughed.

“I don't think that's true at all!” I said, surprised at how serious I suddenly became. “I think Katherine is a keen observer – in her own way. She sized up the situation, saw what she could and couldn't do about it, and then just put it out of her mind and moved on with her life.”

Now it was Dale's turn to get serious. “You... are... I'll say it again.... a very perceptive girl....”

I didn't know how to respond to that. So I just shrugged. Which works SO well over the phone. Out of frustration, I just blew out some air.

“When you consider your future, you may want to consider psychology.”

I laughed nervously, but I think it sounded scornful.

“Or maybe I could be a criminal profiler.” I laughed.

“You would be very good at it Agent Starling” he teased. “Seriously, I don't believe that you have grasped yet how wide open your future is.”

“All I know is that one door is definitely closed. I slipped through the turnstile before I noticed and I can't go back.”

“Would you really want to, even if you could? One door closes and a whole world opens. Sounds like more than a fair trade.” he said, sounding the way I imagine a father would... yet sounding completely unlike my own father.

“So when I get to town and know my schedule, can I call you and we can see if maybe we can spend some face time?”

“Long overdue” Dale said.

“Yeah. It's been a rough six days” I laughed.

“And sorely needed.” Dale said with such warmth in his voice. I found myself wondering if he was someones dad. And if they knew how lucky they were.

“ I expect to hear from Dez within the hour. I can email you my schedule when I know.”

“Fine. ...And Elsie?....”

“Huh?”

“Relax sweethheart. You're future's unclear, but one thing I am sure of.... it will be brilliant.”

I blushed and bade him goodbye. Grabbed my running gear and went to clear my head.