Secondhand Life - Part 49

All I wanted to do on the plane back was sleep. But Dennis was well rested and over-curious, so my exhaustion would have to wait.

'Well? How was it?'

I shot him a weary stare. “Can I tell you tomorrow?”

“No. You most certainly cannot! Dish girl. Was it really the steaming mess we thought? How was Will Forte? Did you meet Brian Doyle Murray? Was there anyone else famous there? How was the director? ...Who did they get to replace Adam McKay?”

“Neil Jenek” I groaned groggily. I just wanted to SLEEP.

“Never heard of him.” Dennis tossed off.

“Kinda the point. That's how they got him. Can I just go to sleep?” I near-whined.

“Soon sweetie. So how was everybody? Did you get along with everyone on the crew? Were you nervous? Oh my god, was that script as bad with the actual actors as when we ran the lines?”

“Oh god. You're sounding like my cousin.” I lamented. “Will you PLEASE let me sleep?”

“Just give me something hon. I'm dying to know. And anyway, Katherine is going to want to know. I figure I can email her while you sleep.”

I groaned my surrender. “Fine. Cast & Crew great. We bonded like we were all in high school detention . Very Breakfast Club. Alright fanboy?” I muttered with as much sarcasm as I had strength for.

“So that would make you ….Ally Ringwald?” He grinned.

“Maybe Molly Sheedy.” I wearily shot back. “So yeah. Everyone was great. I wasn't nervous. Like you said, there really was no way to make this worse, so the pressure was off.”

He nodded. “And you managed to get through that compost heap of a script? Did you have any trouble remembering your lines? After all we just...”

“We kind of threw the script out the window.” I half consciously muttered.

“WHAT?” Dennis' loud exclamation again snatched me from the threshold of blissful sleep.

“Yeah. You yourself said the script was a disaster. I just said it out loud.”

“Ohmigod!” He yelped. “What did they DO????”

I let my head roll back against the headrest and flop to one side so I could address Dennis. I no longer even had the strength to hold my neck up. “They all got nervous. Clearly everyone knew it, but no one dared say it. So I did.”

“So WHAT did they DO?” he repeated.

I shut my eyes. I was even losing the strength to hold up my lids.

“They just got all guilty and finally agreed. And they let me try going off book.” I was no longer even sure if I was speaking out loud or just dreaming that I was speaking out loud.

“Off BOOK? Oh girl. What did you DO?”

That must be why I was so exhausted. Dennis was getting more energized as I was getting more fatigued. He must be vampiring my energy somehow. I needed to sleep. Now.

“Took it somewhere else.” I mumbled in my exhaustion. “Worked.”

If Dennis had any more questions, I had no idea. I was OUT. And I slept until he shook me awake.

“Buckle up babe.” He grinned. “Time for your day job.”

I was finally feeling human again. I brought my arms over my head and curled in a lazy stretch. The film was slowly peeling for my brain.

“We're here? Already?”

Dennis barked a laugh. “Already??? Girl that's one killer commute! You're on your OWN from now on.” he grinned. “Since you obviously have things well handled.” He beamed with a twinkle in his eye.

I just blinked. Maybe he thought I didn't understand, but I was actually only trying to get the sleep out of my eyes.

“I emailed Katherine after checking in with some ….contacts... on set and got the whole story. I have to say after my email I think she's pissed at you.” He said with a stupid grin.

I did not have to fake my confusion.

“They tried to give her points but she put on the pressure and made them give her cash.” He smirked. “After my report from my spies on the set, she's thinking she should have gone for a cut of the gross. I think she thinks you cost her money.” He snickered.

I was mortified. “Ohmygod. I didn't try to cost her... how did I shortchange her?”

Dennis laughed. “She was sure it was a bomb so she insisted on cash. A sick lot of cash, but they wanted to guarantee less and give her a cut of the gross. Like everyone else. She was sure she was the only one who was going to come out ahead on this. But after reports we're hearing from the set, she might have made more if she had taken points. Like everyone else. So now, they're all likely to win their gamble while she's stuck with a fixed amount.”

I continued to stare at him while I processed this. “And she's pissed at ME?”

Dennis chuckled. “Really, I think she's pissed at herself for not thinking that somehow you could make this turd work and that points might have actually been a better deal.” Then he laughed out loud. “Of course she got even angrier when the producers asked her agent why she settled for a fixed fee and then came in and 'fixed the movie' ...their words.” Dennis clucked. He was enjoying this.

“So IS she pissed at me or not?”

Dennis shook his head with a smile. “Yeah. She's pissed. REALLY pissed. But it's only that you came in and 'fixed the movie' that was deemed so radioactive.... they had to pay her sick money just to do it. So she's only pissed at you for doing what she never imagined could be done. Which means she's really pissed at herself. She just doesn't realize it yet. But she will. She always does. It will take a few days.” He chuckled, shaking his head. I got a feeling this was 'old times' for Dennis.

“So am I in trouble?” I asked uncertainly.

“Nah. No. Not really.... Just be thankful you're on the other side of the planet. Katherine doesn't like being surprised. Or being wrong.”

“Is that why she's so often angry?” I asked with a sheepish grin.

Dennis smiled and nodded. “Girl, I told you waaay back.... you get her.” and he squeezed my hand.

I knew the storm would pass, Katherine would calm, and that I could still blow it. I had at least two more marathon sessions, and however inspired my costars seemed, it was possible none of us could save this film. And I wondered how Katherine would feel about that.

But right now, it was time to get back to my 'Day Job'.



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