My palms are clammy and my breathing is erratic. I'm a bundle of nerves, but that's okay- most of the other people in this room are as well. I'm currently sat in a large hall with 200 other 16 year olds sitting my final GCSE exam- maths, a subject I'm not terrible at but not exactly great at either.

However, that's not why I'm nervous. I promised myself over two months ago that today would be the day on which I stop being a boy. Today would be the day I finally tell my parents that deep down, deep inside, I am girl. A girl trapped inside a boy's body that desperately wants, NEEDS to come out. And yet... I can't do it. Every time I play the scene through in my head, it's like my brain 'crashes'. I say the words, and my parents... freeze. Time itself stops, and as hard as I try, I can't get past that scene. I may be the only person in this hall who secretly wishes that this exam lasts forever.

...And yet I know that wishes simply don't come true. The time runs out, and my paper is collected as I sit back, defeated. When I get outside, Sarah's already there waiting for me. I greet her with a kiss, much to the delight of the other teenagers. Whilst we haven't been having that much sex- only a few times since losing our virginity in March- the rest of the school likes to believe that we've been at it in every free second we've had. Of course, what they don't know is that every time Sarah and I have made love, it's actually been Sarah and Nikki...

"I can't believe this is the last time I'm going to wear this uniform," Sarah says, staring down wistfully at her skirt. "...Are you ready?" I nod, but my nerves are so bad if I say anything I'm afraid I'll vomit all over the floor.

"Do you know what you're going to say?" Sarah asks, clearly concerned by my obvious nerves.

"No," I whisper. "I-I've had two months, but every time I try to think of what to say, nothing just seems good enough..." Sarah simply links her fingers with me as she leads me to her mother's car in the car park.

"Did you watch those videos I sent you, of that Jamie-Lee girl?" Sarah asks.

"Yeah," I whisper in reply. "They helped, but- she's this famous superstar, I'm just a nobody." Sarah grabs my head softly and turns my face to hers.

"You are NOT a nobody," Sarah states firmly. "You are Nikki Thomas, and I love you. No matter what you say to your parents, I'll always be here for you, because I. Love. You. We've brought you a change of clothes and your make-up, so you can start being Nikki immediately when you get home."

"Thanks," I quiver as I sit down in the back seat of Beverly's car alongside the carrier bag that contains said items of clothing.

"How are you feeling?" Beverly asks me as I peek in the bag at the skirt, top & underwear the women brought.

"Terrified," I confess. "I- I don't know what I'm going to say..."

"We'll come in with you," Beverly assures me.

"You- you don't really have to do this if you don't want to," Sarah says softly. I simply shake my head in response- I'm too far into this to back out now.

"I made you promise that you'd force me if I backed out," I say with fake confidence. "Please don't break that promise."

"I won't," Sarah whispers as we pull up at my house and I shakily get out of the car. A wave of nausea hits me as I open my front gate, but with Sarah's help, I'm able to fight it off and open the front door. Thankfully, my parents- both shift workers- are both at home to greet me.

"Welcome home, free man!" Dad jokes as he greets me. "Christ, exams nowadays must be worse than I remember, you look like death! What are Sarah and her mum doing here?"

"Dad..." I whisper hoarsely. "There's- there's something I need to tell you and mum." With my whole body shaking, I lead Sarah and Beverly into the living room, where mum is already waiting for us.

"What is it?" Mum asks, obviously concerned by my serious tone. "Are- are you in trouble? Is Sarah pregnant?"

"No," I hastily reply as my girlfriend holds my hand for support.

"Well you're not eloping, not without our consent," dad interjects, obviously as concerned as mum is.

"Dad," I say sharply, shutting the man up. "What it is... I..." I pause, desperately trying to find the words to say, but none are coming. Sarah squeezes my hand harder, and I decide to throw caution to the wind, saying everything I've wanted to say for the past sixteen years.

"...I'm a transsexual," I say, nearly wetting myself in terror as the words leave my mouth. "I'm a girl trapped in a boy's body. I don't want to be a boy any more, I want to live the rest of my life as a girl." I open my eyes and look at my parents, and it's almost as if time has stood still, just as it had every time I played the scene through in my mind. An eternity passes before dad breaks the silence.

"Okay," he says, obviously in shock at my revelation. "Okay, I- I get what you're saying. This explains the hair, and the body hair, and dating the daughter of a transsexualism expert..."

"I- I don't want you to be angry," I say, desperately trying to get my emotions in check.

"I'm not angry," dad says stoically. "I'm confused... I- I think I need a minute."

"If you have any questions, I'm happy to answer them," Beverly interjects.

"Well yes, because of course you knew long before we did, we're only his parents after all," dad says, anger beginning to creep into his voice. "Or I guess I should start saying 'her' parents?"

"How..." Mum begins to ask, before a sudden wave of clarity sweeps her face. "If you're a girl now, then you need to start looking like a girl!"

"Umm, okay," I say, confused by mum's sudden change in behaviour.

"You can't be a 'girl' without any make-up," mum announces. "I'm taking you out for a make-over! We'll get your nails done with a nice, permanent varnish, get those eyebrows of yours reshaped, the works! Nice, permanent changes that you can't undo. Would you like that?" Confused and elated at the same time, I blurt out the first thing that springs to mind.

"Can Sarah come too?" I ask excitedly, obviously catching mum by surprise.

"...Of course she can!" Mum exclaims with surprise as she grabs her bag and her purse.

"Oh, um, can I change first?" I ask, prompting surprised looks from both mum and dad. "I, um, I have a, um, 'collection' of girls' clothes that I keep at Sarah's house..." I grimace, awaiting the inevitable fallout.

"And you allowed this!?" Dad asks Beverly, anger finally seeping into his voice.

"Believe me, I was as upset as you are when I found out," Beverly explains.

"I doubt it, you're not the one whose child wants to cut his dick off!" Dad interrupts, earning himself stern stares from both Sarah and myself.

"This wasn't easy for me!" I cry out frustratedly. "I've had to live my whole life as something I'm not! Every day pretending to be interested in the stuff I'm supposed to be interested in, wearing clothes I hate, acting in a way that feels stupid to me, when all I wanted to be was a girl, do girly things, wear girly clothes! And you're sitting there making jokes, acting like I'm sort of freak!"

"I never said you were a freak," dad says, trying futilely to defuse the situation.

"I almost made myself sick with nerves before telling you this!" I wail, tears streaming down my face. "Why can't you just accept that this is what I want?" The room falls silent, shocked by my outburst.

"...Is that your 'girl' voice?" Mum asks, breaking the silence. I stare in confusion for a second before realising that throughout my rant, my voice had gradually risen higher and higher until I found myself talking in the voice I always use when 'being Nikki'.

"Um, I guess," I say, continuing to use the voice that now comes so naturally to me.

"I can accept," dad says, solemnly nodding his head. "I don't think I'll ever understand why you're doing this, but I'm your father, and I can certainly accept your decision, provided that this is what you truly, truly want."

"It is," I sniffle. "It really, really is."

"...Then I guess I have a daughter," dad says, coming over and awkwardly giving me a hug.

"What do you want us to call you?" Mum asks, awkwardly joining in the hug.

"Nikki," I mumble.

"Short for Nicola or Nicole?" Mum asks, making me giggle for the first time since setting foot in my house. "What's so funny?"

"You know, I never really thought about that," I say, wiping tears from my eyes. "Nicola. Nicola, Christine, Thomas."

"Well, at least you're keeping one boy's name, even if it is only your surname," dad jokes. "I'm still not happy about the clothes thing, but I guess it means we don't have to fork out hundreds of pounds buying you a whole new wardrobe if you already have one, so there's that." I laugh again at dad's flippancy.

"I want to get rid of all my boy's clothes," I say firmly. "I want to start from scratch, as Nikki." Mum and dad both nod, to my intense relief.

"I'll fire up the car, we'll pick up your clothes from Sarah's house," dad says. "You're coming too, just the two of us."

"But... the makeover..." I pout.

"You've got three whole months before college for that," mum says firmly. "And I was just testing, to see whether or not you were being genuine about what you said, and you clearly are. And your dad obviously needs time alone with you."

"Okay," I whisper as I follow dad out to the car. After he starts the engine, he rests his head on the steering wheel, clearly overwhelmed by the day's events.

"Dad," I say softly, "are- are you okay?"

"No," the older man confesses, to my dismay. "No I'm not. But it's not about me. Sixteen years ago I made a promise that I'd never do anything to hurt you. Does being a boy hurt you?" I pause for a second as I contemplate my answer.

"Emotionally, yes," I reply. "Every time I dressed up I'd get depressed when it came time to stop."

"Whether you're my son or my daughter, you're still my child," dad explains. "And whether you're my son or my daughter, I love you all the same. After today, you'll never have to stop being who you want to be." Tears flow from my eyes again, and it's all I can do to stop myself from hugging dad right then and there.

"Thanks," I whisper.

"I'll always support you," dad reassures me. "I refuse to end up like one of those scumbags you see on Jeremy Kyle!"

I try to explain myself further to dad on the drive to Sarah's house. Whilst it's clear that he'll always be confused by my decision- and upset that I went behind his back- by the time I arrive at the house and let myself in (using Sarah's own keys), he's all but ready to accept me as his daughter. Whilst dad rummages through the kitchen for some bin liners to carry the clothes home in, I take the opportunity to change out of my boy clothes for the very last time. Sighing happily, I strip naked and slide a brand-new pink thong up my legs before clipping a cotton bra behind my back, stuffing the cups with my breast forms. I pull on a knee-length pleated skirt, a white t-shirt and a comfortable pair of flats before brushing my hair out and applying a light layer of make-up to my face. As I sit in front of the mirror, staring at the 'new me', I'm amazed at my own transformation. When I started 'being Nikki', dressing up like this made me excited, like it was something new and exotic. But sat here today, I just feel... at home. Comfortable, like this was the way I was always meant to be.

"Nick," dad calls from downstairs. "I've found them, do you want to- woah," dad pauses as he sees me descend the stairs in all my feminine glory.

"Guess I'm going to have to get used to this sight," dad states stoically, handing me the roll of black bin bags. "And this... All this... Is it even comfortable?"

"More comfortable than I've ever been in my life," I say honestly. "Everything about it feels so right. Everything."

"And where the hell did they come from?" Dad asks, pointing at my breasts.

"The internet," I reply with a smirk, causing dad to laugh.

"Of course they did," dad sighs. "Get everything bagged and down to me, then we can go home. I'm assuming you don't have any girl's nightwear?"

"Nope," I answer as I bag all my clothes- no longer 'Nikki's' clothes, simply 'my' clothes- leaving the now-ownerless school uniform for last.

"Guess we're going to have to go shopping after all then," dad muses, eliciting a girlish giggle from me as I bring the final bag downstairs.

"Today is going to go down as possibly the most surreal day of my life," dad complains as I elegantly slide into the passenger seat of his car.

"It's not exactly normal for me either," I remind him.

"I'm guessing most of the £250 we gave you for your birthday went on clothes?" Dad asks, probably already knowing the answer.

"Yep," I confirm happily. "Still got some of it left."

"Good," dad sighs. "We're going to stop off at Primark, you're going to pick out a nightdress, then we're going to go home and have a long talk about where we go from here. Would I be right in assuming that this isn't going to be your first time dressed out in public?"

"You would indeed be right," I say, eliciting another sigh from dad as we head toward the nearest public car park.

We arrive home just after 3:30pm- Sarah and Beverly are still at our house, and the former greets me with a big hug when she sees me in 'Nikki mode'.

"Oh my god oh my god oh my god!!!!" Sarah exclaims, bouncing up and down as she clings to me. "I'm so proud of you!" Mum is next to address me- this is, after all, the first time she's ever met 'Nikki'.

"You really are a beautiful young woman," mum says with genuine emotion in her voice, before giving me a big hug of her own.

"I still can't believe I've really done it," I say as I sit down on our sofa, tucking my hairless legs underneath me. "You know, 'come out', 'become Nikki'." I pause before asking my next question. "If I'd done this when I was 12 or 13... Would you have accepted me?"

"Of course we would," mum says, making me sigh sadly.

"We'd have questioned whether or not it was what you truly wanted," dad explains. "More so than now as now you've obviously had a lot of time to think about it."

"The real question is," mum asks, turning her attention to Beverly, "what do we do now?"

"Nikki, when's your next counsellor's appointment?" Beverly asks me, earning a confused look from dad.

"Tomorrow," I answer. "I saw Doctor Clarke about this last summer," I explain to dad. "He referred me to a specialist who's been helping me out a lot."

"Well that does make sense," dad muses. "I'm just wondering why Beverly here couldn't be your counsellor."

"Nikki's my daughter's girlfriend," Beverly explains. "I'm too close, I can't be professionally detached."

"'Daughter's girlfriend'," dad repeats with a chuckle. "So, I guess you're also telling me that you're a lesbian?"

"Consider this my second coming out," I shrug, making Sarah giggle happily and dad roll his eyes. "Dr. Williamson said that she can write me a prescription for hormones tomorrow, if I wanted."

"Whoa," dad interrupts. "Once- once you start on hormones, that's a one-way trip, isn't it?"

"The changes can be reversed," Beverly explains, "but not easily and certainly not fully once she's passed a certain point."

"I don't just want to pass that 'point of no return'," I say firmly. "I want to charge past it. I want to put it so far behind me that I can't even see it anymore."

"I suppose if the counsellor said she'd write a prescription, then she must obviously feel it's necessary," mum rationalises.

"It is," I insist. "I want this more than I've ever wanted anything." Dad quietly nods his head.

"I guess-" he stutters, "I guess I just thought that whilst it was just you dressing up it was a whim, but if you're going to be changing yourself physically... I said I'd accept your decision no matter what, and I stand by what I said."

We spend the next few hours discussing the path my life would take. I'm so grateful that Beverly was on hand to detail exactly the steps that would be taken. Changing my name would be easy- now I'm sixteen, I can just do that myself- attaining new documentation that shows me as female (such as a passport) would have to wait until official paperwork confirming my gender change came through, and that could take anywhere up to two years. Immediate changes, such as wardrobe needs, would be dealt with on a case-by-case basis (such as my new nightie). It's only late in the evening, when I'm packing my clothes away (with Sarah's help) that the gravity of the situation dawns on me.

"This still just seems so unreal," I breathe as I hurl my old boy's briefs and shorts into a bin liner, carefully refilling the drawer with my delicate bras, thongs and panties. "I mean, I don't have to change back. Now, I can be Nikki forever."

"I really, really am proud of you, Nikki," Sarah says, giving me a warm hug. "Or should I say 'Nicola'?"

"I still prefer 'Nikki'," I giggle as I fold away my tops and bodysuits. "Thank you so much for everything. I couldn't have done any of this without you. I love you so, so much, Sarah."

"Girl love forever," Sarah says as we link our hands in our special way and share a single tender kiss. "I see you saved the best 'till last," Sarah muses as she takes my birthday dress out of its individual wrapper and holds it up against her own body. "I can see why you loved this one most of all. It's out there, in-your-face, unafraid to say anything or be whatever it wanted to be. It's everything you were afraid to do. WERE afraid." I smile and strip off my skirt and top, carefully depositing them in my laundry basket, before stepping into the dress and allowing Sarah to fasten it shut.

"Beautiful," Sarah mouths, gently kissing my neck. "You know, this is what you were wearing when we first made love..."

"Yeah, but you WEREN'T wearing your school uniform," I tease back.

"No, but YOU were when we had our first kiss," Sarah reminds me, kissing me softly on the lips. "I'm so excited for you! This big adventure of yours..."

"This big adventure of OURS," I correct my girlfriend, linking fingers with her. "Girl love forever and ever and ever!" Sarah gives me one final hug before helping me out of my dress and into my new nightie and pink dressing gown. I see Sarah and Beverly off with hugs- even one for Beverly- before head to bed, exhausted from the day's exertions. I'm quickly asleep, but once again, in my dreams, I'm stood inside the church, wearing a pristine white wedding dress. I look around the church, desperate to see a friendly face, but I'm all alone. Scared, I turn around, desperately calling out for someone, anyone to hear me, but no one will hear answer my calls. I begin to fall down a deep well of despair when I feel a finger tap on my shoulder. I turn around quickly and stare deep into the grinning face of my new bride.

"I now pronounce you wife and wife," the minister says to a cheering church. "You may kiss the bride!" Grinning, I kiss Sarah deeply before linking hands with her and eagerly running out of the church to start our new lives, our dresses billowing with every step we take...

I wake up to an unfamiliar sensation, almost like my shorts had bunched up tight during the night, I reach down to unpick them, only to be stopped by a piece of fabric, almost like I'd worn a dress to bed. As I lift the dress, discovering my thong still in place from last night, yesterday's events come flooding back to me. Smiling at the sight of bottles of nail polish on my bedside table, cosmetics on top of my chest of drawers, and yesterday's bra (still containing my breast forms) on the floor, I swing my smooth legs out of bed, pull on my dressing down and head downstairs.

"Typical teenage girl," dad jokes as he sees me pad across the floor and slump onto the sofa. "Always sleeps in later than everyone else. How are you feeling, Nikki?"

"Good," I answer honestly. "Better than I've done in a long, long time."

"Big day today!" Mum announces, bringing my breakfast through to me. "Is my special girl ready?" Even though I know they're doing it deliberately to get sued to it, the sound of my parents' voices addressing me as 'girl' brings a smile to my face every time.

"I think I know what I'm going to wear," I say. "I just- I just want to thank you both so much..."

"There's NOTHING to thank us for," mum reassures me, grabbing my hand supportively. "We're your parents, we love you, and we'll support whatever decisions you make. If I have say this a thousand times before it finally sinks in, I'll say it a thousand times."

"Thank-" I begin, before mum's stern gaze cuts me off. "Okay." I grin widely as I finish my breakfast and head upstairs to get ready.

"Oh crap," dad says, eliciting bemused stares from myself and my mother. "Now we've got a teenaged girl in the house, I'll never get in the bathroom first!" I giggle as I run upstairs and lock myself in the bathroom before dad has the chance to catch me!

Once in the bathroom, I shower thoroughly and apply some of the feminine deodorant I bought during yesterday's shopping trip. Using one of the razors dad had bought me- intending for me to use it on my face- I whip off any stray leg and arm hairs, and thoroughly brush my hair out into my favourite loose style. Heading back into my room, I pick out a fresh bra and panties for the day, slipping them on and filling in the bra cups with my breast forms. Heading over to my drawers, I glance inside at the clothes of my new life and smile happily. The drawers aren't full by any stretch of the imagination, but there's enough in there to keep me going at least through the summer. Before dressing, I take the time to paint my toenails with my glossy black nail polish, before applying my make-up for the day. I go with a subtle eye shadow, but opt for red lipstick- I want everyone who sees me today to get the message that I am 100% female, and that's the way I'm going to stay.

Having finished with my cosmetics, I pick my poshest skirt out of my drawer- a black, knee-length pencil skirt- and slowly ease my way into it, loving the feeling of it hugging my body close as I zip it closed. I follow up with a smart-casual blue short-sleeved top, before grabbing my purse (previously only used as an accessory, now an everyday essential), slipping my feet into a pair of strappy flat sandals I bought especially for the summer, and heading downstairs to where my parents await me.

"Wow," mum breathes as she sees me elegantly descend the stairs. "You truly, truly do look beautiful. Any family would be proud to have you as their daughter." I smile and blink twice, desperate not to cry out of fear of ruining my make-up!

"Thanks," I say with a quivering voice. "I'm ready to do this." Dad, a big but not entirely sincere smile plastered on his face, nods and leads us out to the car.

Needless to say, when we arrive at Dr. Williamson's office and she sees my clothes and my companions, she has a broad smile on her face.

"Nikki!" My counsellor exclaims happily. "You told them! And I'm guessing by the fact that they're both here, and you're dressed the way you are, that I was right and it all went well?"

"Better than I could ever have dreamed," I reply, sitting down between my parents on the doctor's chairs.

"It came as a bit of a shock, I will admit," dad says, introducing himself and mum to Dr. Williamson.

"That's perfectly understandable," Dr. Williamson reassures. "This is probably the biggest step on Nikki's journey to becoming who she wants to be. You yourselves will probably have lots of questions, and I'm happy to answer any that you may have."

"There is one thing," dad says seriously.

"Name it," Dr. Williamson replies.

"The transsexualism diagnosis..." Dad begins, hesitantly. "...I want it in writing, so that if anyone asks, I can point to it and say 'yes, this is a real thing'." I look up at dad, a mixture of confusion and mild offence on my face.

"I'm thinking mostly of your grandparents," dad explains. "If this has overwhelmed me god only knows what they'll say, you know how old-fashioned they are when it comes to civil rights." Dr. Williamson can't help but suppress a giggle at this.

"Something funny?" Dad asks, prompting Dr. Williamson to look in my direction. Blushing slightly, I nod my approval of what the doctor clearly wants to say.

"Nikki said the same thing about you in many of our discussions," Dr. Williamson reveals, causing me to cringe in my seat.

"Oh really?" Dad asks, looking in my direction with fake offence plastered all over his face. "I'll have you know, young lady, that your mother and I are both children of the eighties, so we know a thing or two about being tolerant of 'alternative lifestyles'!" Mum laughs at dad's joke and calmingly take a hold of my arm.

"You do know we met at an Erasure gig, right?" Mum reminds me. "Your dad wouldn't have been within 50 miles of that gig if he was as big a homophobe as you make out!"

"Yeah, give a little respect to me!" Dad jokes, causing the adults in the room to laugh at their little in-joke.

"In all seriousness," Dr. Williamson says, "I am pleased that you've finally taken this first step. And yes, as per my agreement, in addition to the diagnosis your father asked for, I'm happy to start you on hormone replacement therapy immediately, if that's what you truly want."

"Yes," I say instantly. "It is, definitely." Dr. Williamson smiles and nods, typing into her computer. Five minutes later, I have in my hand a piece of paper with my name at the top and a prescription for progesterone and oestrogen pills at the bottom.

My parents spend the rest of the meeting grilling Dr. Williamson, asking questions they'd already asked Beverly the day before and getting the exact same answers. Once my parents leave the meeting, satisfied that my counsellor is only an email away if they have any further queries, they act noticeably less tense than they had been for the previous 24 hours.

"I've got to get to work," dad sighs as he starts the car. "Nikki- will you be okay today?"

"I'll be fine," I say with a smile on my red lips. "Better than fine!" I immediately pull out my mobile phone are start composing a text message.

"Straight to her phone, as if we had any doubt that she's really a girl," dad jokes, making me and mum both chuckle.

"Who are you texting?" Mum enquires.

"Sarah," I answer. "Hopefully she's free, I really, really want to see her today, if just to show her this!" I happily hold up the prescription that I'm eager to hand in at the pharmacist. Mum smiles, clearly happy at how happy I seem.

And I am. The last 24 hours have been like a tornado, tearing my old life to pieces but unlike a tornado, rebuilding it much better than it had been before. As I finish my text message, I run a hand over the smooth, stretchy material of my skirt and stare down at my darkened toenails. Every time I'd do this in the past, there'd always be a part of me inside that knew that eventually, I'd have to give this up, even if it was just for a week. Not any more. 'Boring old Nick' is gone for good, and 'gorgeous, girly Nikki' is here to stay.

Unsurprisingly, when we arrive home, Sarah's already waiting for me on my front doorstep, where she eagerly bounces over to me, greeting me with a hug and a quick kiss.

"Oh my god, you look SO GREAT!" Sarah enthuses as she grabs my hand and leads me into my house. "Though what have you done to your fingernails?" I stare at them, confused.

"I haven't done anything," I explain.

"EXACTLY!" Sarah says with a broad grin. "Let's get some colour on them quick! And you're going to HAVE to remind me where we got that skirt!" Almost melting with happiness as my parents look on approvingly, I follow Sarah up to my room where we spend the rest of the afternoon immersed in my nail polish collection...

Four days later, I'm stood in my living room with my parents, Sarah and Beverly looking on expectantly. I'm wearing a plain pink sundress and a pair of ordinary flip-flops. My toenails are still painted black, and my fingernails and lips are painted a matching fuchsia colour. But what's most important is what's in my hands. In my left hand is a glass of water, and in my right hand, the hormone pills I've so desperately craved for my whole life. Almost unable to swallow out of nerves and elation, I place the pills on my tongue and swiftly down them with a gulp of water. Almost immediately as I show the room my empty mouth, Sarah jumps out of her seat and hugs me tightly, closely followed by my parents.

"I'm so proud of you," mum says with tears in her eyes. "My beautiful, perfect daughter."