I brush my shoulder-length hair out of my eyes and tuck it behind my ears as I listen to the middle-aged woman talk as she makes notes on the whiteboard. I fidget a little in my seat- I've been wearing my school uniform all day and even though three months from now I'll have worn it for the very last time, I'd pay anything to go home and slip into something more comfortable... Like a cute skirt and a pair of warm tights, as opposed to my itchy cotton shorts and polyester trousers.

"...If you identify your thought processes at every stage," Dr. Williamson, my counsellor, advises me, "you'll be able to identify the point at which you begin to have these negative thoughts, and you can alter your thinking so as to avoid the traps of anxiety or depression."

"Got it," I acknowledge, lazily making notes in an old exercise book I use for our sessions.

"I don't need to tell you how important it is that we don't allow you to succumb to negative thoughts and feelings," the psychiatrist states. "Young people, especially those in your position, can and do often feel trapped, like there's no way out. It's not always easy to look at things from a detached standpoint, but you have to make sure to at least try."

"I will," I say. Dr. Williamson is definitely not wrong- ever since I started seeing her in August she's helped me in more ways than I can count. She's helped me feel more comfortable with who I am- both as Nick and as Nikki- and helped me rationalise my own thought processes. It didn't take long for her to outright state that I have a clear case of gender dysphoria, and as Beverly and my GP predicted, her first piece of advice was to tell my parents immediately. I was able to avoid having to do this, but Dr. Williamson then upped the ante and told me she'd happily write a formal diagnosis AND a prescription for hormone replacement therapy immediately- as long as I came out to my parents (and in fairness, as a minor, she couldn't really prescribe such radical treatment behind my parents' back). When I again refused she started me on a course of 'behavioural therapy'- analysing my behaviours to improve the way I feel about myself. And it has helped- previously when I stopped being Nikki, I would be miserable, often borderline depressed. Our sessions have helped me to focus on the positives- even if the only positive is that I know soon I'll be able to be Nikki again! My relationship with Sarah has also been analysed, and has been deemed to be very much a positive in my life- not that I needed a psychiatrist to tell me that, of course!

The one negative about these sessions is that I'm never able to attend them as Nikki. They're always on a Friday afternoon, after school, when I have no choice but to attend in my uniform.

Our short session quickly reaches its climax, but before I'm sent on my way, Dr. Williamson surprises me with a small envelope.

"Happy birthday for Sunday," she says with a warm smile. "Sixteen- it's a big milestone. You'll be one step closer to being an adult, and making all your own decisions. And on that subject, I'll leave you with the same advice I've told you for the last seven months- Tell. Your. Parents. If not right now, then set a date and promise yourself that you'll tell them on or before that date." I nod timidly, thank the doctor for her time and head home.

The following day, despite my parents wanting to make a big fuss of me ahead of my big day tomorrow, is still a Saturday, a Saturday I intend to spend just like every other Saturday for the past year and a half!

"Hi, birthday boyfriend!" Sarah yells as she opens her front door, throwing her arms around me in a big hug. "Or should I say 'birthday girlfriend'?"

"That sounds much better," I sigh as Sarah leads me up to her room, giving me barely any time to say hi to Beverly before I'm left alone with my bulging 'Nikki drawers'. Thanks to my getting a paper round and Sarah insisting on paying me a 'commission' for continuing to model her hand-made dresses for her- and the two of us discovering eBay- I now own more skirts than I do trousers at home! I quickly strip off my boy clothes and pull on a soft grey thong, followed by a plain cotton bra that I pad out with special 'breast forms' I bought online. They were £25, but they feel so much more realistic than stuffing a pair of socks in each cup, and they were very much worth the expense! After applying a thick- but professional-looking- layer of make-up, brushing my hair out and painting my nails a matte red colour, I pick out my outfit. My legs and arms are still hairless- I tell my parents this is a combination of both being on the swimming team and Sarah's preference- so I roll a pair of thin black tights up my legs, followed by a cute short black skirt and a clingy dark grey top. After pulling a pair of ballerina pumps on my feet, I quickly head downstairs to where my girlfriend greets me with a tight hug.

"Aww, every time you become Nikki you just look cuter and cuter!" Sarah exclaims as we crash down on the sofa next to each other. I girlishly tuck my nylon-covered legs underneath me, thanking Beverly as she hands me a glass of fruit juice.

"What time do you want me to bring Sarah round tomorrow?" Beverly asks.

"Any time's fine," I say in my practised feminine voice. Ever since I opened up to Beverly about 'Nikki', I've been subtly training my voice to sound more and more girl-like- leading to some awkward moments at home (usually after I've just woken up) when I accidentally answer my parents with my 'Nikki' voice! "My grandparents won't be around until about midday."

"That's good, that's about the time Sarah usually gets up on a Sunday," Beverly jokes, earning herself a stuck-out tongue from her daughter.

"In fairness, she's not entirely wrong," my girlfriend concedes. "If it wasn't for you coming round, I'd probably not get up on Saturdays at all!" Sarah and I both giggle girlishly at her joke.

"What are you girls planning on doing today?" Beverly asks- and for once, I have an immediate answer.

"I want a girly day, like Sarah had for her sixteenth," I say confidently. Sarah sighs sadly at my mention of her birthday the previous November- and how jealous I'd told her I'd felt afterwards. Nikki, two of her school friends, her mother and her aunt went out for a day of pampering at a local beauty spa. This included facials, manicures, pedicures, a bikini wax- which I wasn't quite as jealous of- and numerous other treatments. And I, as the boyfriend, had to stay behind when I so, so desperately wanted to be pampered just like the other women.

"Obviously," I continue, "I realise there's no point in me getting an expensive makeover or manicure when I have to wash it off at the end of the day, but I just... Want to be pampered for a day."

"You know," Sarah reminds me, "you don't HAVE to wash it all off at the end of the day..." I sigh and hold Sarah's hand for comfort- she is, of course, correct. If only it were that easy...

"Enough frowning," Beverly orders. "No girl should be unhappy on the weekend of her sixteenth birthday. You want to be pampered? We'll pamper you. Isn't that right, Sarah?" Sarah smiles, catching on to what her mother is planning.

"Yeah!" Sarah beams. "If you want a girly day, then it's a girly day you'll have, right here!"

"Looks like I'm going to have to do some shopping," Beverly announces.

"Really, please don't to any expense on my behalf," I futilely plead as Beverly grabs her handbag and her car keys.

"Nonsense," the older woman says. "I've told you before, you're my daughter's girlfriend, that practically makes you part of the family. And it's one of your most important birthdays, so that means I have to treat you!" Knowing better than to argue further, I slump back down on the sofa, Sarah wrapping her arms around me in a tight hug as her mother drives away.

"You know," Sarah says with a sparkle in her eyes, "if it was 24 hours later, we'd legally be allowed to have sex right now..." I giggle and give Sarah a quick kiss.

"Ugh," I groan. "I wish we hadn't made that promise to our parents."

"I reckon mum's testing us by going," Sarah deduces. "Seeing whether or not we'll break our promise."

"I don't think anything's ever tempted me as much as you right now," I say, holding Sarah closer. "But we can't let ourselves fail now, can we?"

"It's not like we're going to get any time to ourselves tomorrow..." Sarah moans. "Next Saturday. I'll find some way of getting rid of mum, so next Saturday, we'll do it then."

"Really?" I ask. "With me in 'Nikki mode'?" Sarah simply smiles at me.

"Shit yeah!" She says. "'Nikki' is the girl I love, Nikki's the girl I want to have sex with!"

"Am I technically a lesbian if I have a penis, though?" I wonder aloud, making Sarah laugh.

"You're whatever you want yourself to be," she reminds me, cuddling me closer.

Beverly returns a mere half an hour later with a shopping bag full of cosmetic treasures. After changing into my swimsuit, my make-up was washed off and my face was treated with a cleansing, pore-opening nutrient mask that left my skin feeling fresher than it had ever been in my life. Sarah then reapplied my make-up with precision care, including HUGE false eyelashes! My hands and feet were treated to an exfoliant wash that removed all the dead skin and grime and left them looking and feeling AMAZING, and finally my legs and arms were 'treated' to a hot wax, that didn't quite hurt as much as I thought it would- largely as my arms and legs were almost completely hairless anyway! Afterwards, I pulled my skirt and top back on on top of my swimsuit (leaving my tights off to show off my new look legs!) and posed for Sarah as she took several photos for her scrapbook- including several close-ups of my immaculately made-up face!

Not wanting to remove my glamorous look, I manage to convince my parents to let me stay over at Sarah's house for dinner (something Beverly happily agrees to as well), meaning I stay as Nikki for a full ten hours before being forced to undo all the hard work that Beverly and Sarah has put into my day of pampering. As I toss my beautiful clothing into Sarah's washing basket and put my boring boy clothes back on, I look down at my now-colourless fingernails and a wave of what can almost be described as pain washes over me. When Sarah re-enters the room and catches me crying at the sight, she instantly hugs me and allows me to cry onto her shoulder.

"It's okay, it's okay," she says softly.

"It's not fair," I moan between sobs. "I can't- I can't take it anymore!" Sarah softly grabs my face and looks me straight in the eye.

"Then don't!" She orders. "If it hurts you so much that it makes you cry, do something about it!" Remembering the advice of my counsellor, I calm my emotions and rationalise my thought processes.

"May the sixteenth," I whisper. Sarah looks at me confused.

"What happens on May the sixteenth?" she asks, before catching on to what I'm saying.

"That's the day of my last exam," I explain. "And the day I stop being a boy." Sarah gasps slightly but then hugs me even tighter.

"Promise me you won't let me back out of this," I ask the girl I love. "I'll try to chicken out, I know I will. No matter what I or your mother say, promise me you won't let me bottle it again."

"I promise, I-" Sarah says, before looking at me confusedly. "Again?"

"Last summer?" I remind Sarah. "When your mum met my parents and you said I should go down to meet them as Nikki? I very nearly did." This time, it's Sarah's turn to start crying, and my turn to hug her.

"I'm sorry," I whisper in her ear.

"No," Sarah whispers quietly. "You have nothing to be sorry for. At least, not from May the sixteenth, you won't. I love you, Nikki."

"I love you, Sarah," I quietly whisper back.

The following day I'm woken up at 7am by my mum coming into my room with a whole armful of presents and cards. It may sound silly, but when I was young I was even jealous of girls' birthday cards. Mine would always have cars and footballers on them, whilst girls would have ballerinas and princesses on theirs- all the things I wanted in my life.

"Happy sixteenth birthday!" Mum enthuses to my still-groggy form.

"Thanks, mum," I say, trying to hide behind my tiredness the fact that I'll no doubt be disappointed that all my presents won't contain what I really want. Don't get me wrong- I know my parents aren't well-off and they do their very best to ensure I have everything they think I want- it's just that their ideas of what I want differ greatly from my own.

Sure enough, when I get downstairs and open the presents, they're all exactly what I'm expecting- deodorant sets, DVDs, a new wallet, clothing- BOY's clothing- boy's underwear. It's only when I get to the final box that my eyes light up.

There, inside a deceptively huge box that I was obviously led to believe contained a pair of boy's shoes, is £250 in cash. It's all I can do not to bounce around excitedly or clamp my hands over my mouth in shock.

"Oh my god!" I exclaim, desperately trying not to let my voice creep higher. "Thank you, thank you so much!"

"You only turn sixteen once, don't expect it every year!" Dad advises me. Right now I want to hug him more than anything, but instead I settle for a fatherly pat on the back. No doubt I'll be expected to spend this money on things like video games and DVDs- however, I have other plans for the money...

My grandparents arrive just before midday, followed by Sarah and her mother half an hour later. Naturally, with my elderly grandparents present, Sarah and I are placed on separate chairs more than arm's reach apart from each other, but there are a few murmurs when Sarah gives me a quick kiss whilst handing me my card. When I read the card, however, it's the handwritten message at the bottom of the card that makes me smile the most.

You didn't ask me for a surprise, but I have one additional surprise for you... I look over at Sarah who flashes me a quick wink whilst my parents and grandparents reminisce about my early years.

Everyone- Sarah included- leaves just after 5pm, leaving me alone with my parents, and my thoughts. Whatever Sarah's surprise is, it's obviously something she can't reveal in public, so it's obviously something for Nikki, and it can't be to do with sex, as we've both spoken about that, so it technically wouldn't be a surprise.

All throughout the week at school Sarah's being coy about the surprise. Even when I invite myself around to her house mid-week (obviously not becoming Nikki, as there really isn't any time to do so) she refuses to divulge her 'secret', insisting that I wait until Saturday.

When Friday night rolls around my brain is almost completely scrambled by thoughts of the surprise- and of Sarah. Despite how close we are and how much we love each other, we've never even so much as seen each other naked, and tomorrow, there's a very good chance we'll be losing our virginity together...

Needless to say, on Saturday morning I'm round at Sarah's early- knocking on her door just after 9am. Much to my delight, Sarah's not only awake but already up and dressed. She greets me with a loving kiss on my bare lips before quickly dragging me by the hand up to her room, barely giving me a chance to say hi to her mother as I stumble up the stairs.

"I bet you're dying to know what your surprise is!" Sarah says with a smug smile.

"Literally dying, yes," I say, pouting as hard as I can to make Sarah end this torturous anticipation. Sarah simply giggles before throwing open her wardrobe, making me gasp and almost cry with delight.

There, taking pride of place in her wardrobe, is the dress I had modelled for her online store back in August. Made of three layers of multicoloured organza with an asymmetrical skirt and wide shoulder straps, I had been almost heartbroken when Sarah told me it had been sold- especially as it had fit me like a glove.

"Oh my god!" I exclaim, blinking back tears. "You bought it back?"

"No, silly!" Sarah teases. "But I knew how much you loved the dress, so I made you another one. Happy birthday, Nikki." Now openly crying, I embrace my wonderful girlfriend before she squirms free and hands me a bra & thong from one of my 'Nikki drawers'.

"Well, aren't you going to put it on?" Sarah asks with a smile. I grin widely and dry my eyes before Sarah heads downstairs, leaving me alone. I pull the tight undergarments on- filling the bra cups with my breast forms- before pulling on a pair of nude tights and fixing my make-up. Whilst it isn't as professional as last week's look (and I can't afford any more false eyelashes) my subtle eye shadow, dark nail polish and my deepest, reddest lipstick make me feel like the supermodel I was when I last wore my- and it is now my- dress. Now shaking with anticipation, I pull the beautiful garment on, loving the feel of the fabric swishing over my nylon-covered legs, and fasten it at the back before pulling on my highest-heeled shoes (a pair of red pumps with a 3" stiletto heel) and admiring myself in the mirror.

"May the sixteenth," I say to the beautiful teenaged girl in the mirror before heading downstairs to gasps of approval from Sarah and her mother.

"You are the most beautiful girl in the world," Sarah says, greeting me with a long kiss on the lips.

"You truly look stunning," Beverly confirms politely as I sit down on the sofa, remembering my 'posture practice' and keeping my knees pressed firmly together.

"Thank you, thank you both," I say, gently caressing the dress and loving the feeling of the fabric between my fingers. "This is the best birthday ever!"

I stay in my special dress until lunchtime, when Beverly announces out of the blue that she's run out of milk and needs to make a grocery run. With her sudden departure, Sarah snuggles up closer to me on the sofa and plants a long, deep kiss on my mouth.

"We're all alone," Sarah says with a smile, linking her fingers with mine. It doesn't take long for me to catch onto what she means.

"Yes," I stutter as Sarah kisses me again. "Do- do you really, really want-"

"YES," Sarah states firmly. With my heart rapidly thumping in my ears, I allow Sarah to grab me by the hand and lead me upstairs to her room, where we both quickly (but carefully in my case) remove our shoes and dresses and stand in front of each other dressed in just our underwear. Sarah then kisses me again, whilst simultaneously stripping off my tights and reaching a hand down inside my thong. At the same time, I hesitantly unclip her bra and slide her own thong down her long, smooth legs. Sarah then breaks away from my embrace, and standing stark naked in front of me, reaches into my- well, Nick's wallet, pulling out a small square package.

"Think I didn't notice this in school this week?" Sarah asks with a wide grin on her face.

Ten minutes later, the two of us- no longer virgins- were sitting upright in her bed, cradling each other in our arms.

"You do know," I say, still breathless, "if I do what I say I'm going to do on May the sixteenth, there'll come a time where we won't be able to do that anymore?" Sarah simply sighs and kisses my neck.

"There's more than one way to have sex," she says softly. "Just as long as it's with you, I don't care HOW we do it. I want to 'make love', not 'have sex', and you're the only girl I love."

"My counsellor... Also tells me that I might start liking boys after my change," I mumble quietly. This time, Sarah simply holds me closer to her still-naked form.

"Then maybe I'll just have to become a boy," Sarah says with a smile, before cringing. "I'm sorry, I know that must sound insensitive." I sigh and shake my head.

"No, I'm sorry," I say, gently caressing Sarah's soft skin. "I shouldn't have brought it up, especially not now of all times."

"How about we agree right now," Sarah says, "that no matter what gender we are, we agree that we'll only ever make love to each other?" Sarah holds up her hand in the 'girl love' gesture, which I happily reciprocate.

"Sarah and Nikki forever," I say softly, causing Sarah to smile and snuggle deeper into my nearly-naked body.

We only stay in bed for another ten minutes before we both get dressed again- taking time fix our damaged make-up first, of course. Rather than pull my 'special dress' back on, I settle instead for a button-up denim skirt and a grey t-shirt, leaving my tights and shoes off as my legs still feel so great from the previous week's treatment!

Needless to say, when Beverly returns and sees me wearing different clothing to when she left, she simply gives me a stoic, knowing nod and puts her groceries away.

"It's plainly obvious she knows," Sarah sighs, sitting down next to me on the sofa and wrapping my arm around her. "Though I'm probably going to have to have a REALLY awkward talk with her later tonight."

"Do you regret what we did?" I ask hesitantly. Sarah simply looks at me like I'd just said the most stupid thing in the world.

"No, of course not!" She says, before smiling at me. "I LOVE you, Nikki. That means I want to be with you in every way. Including 'that'. Do- do you regret it?"

"Not at all," I say quietly.

"Has it- has it made you change your mind about May the sixteenth?" Sarah asks with a quiver in her voice. I pause to think- being with Sarah 'as a boy' wasn't all bad. In fact, it was very, very good. But I'm still sat here wearing a skirt, wearing nail polish and make-up and acting 100% feminine. If I was sat here as Nick, I'd still have lost my virginity, but my mind would be occupied with thoughts of Nikki, of being Nikki...

"No," I finally answer. "I still want to be Nikki, for keeps." Sarah grins and holds me tightly.

"I want you to be Nikki as well," she confesses.

That night, as I lay in my bed, my dreams once again take me to the day of my wedding, only this time instead of pristine white wedding dresses, Sarah and I are stood in front of the altar wearing nothing whatsoever. I look down at my own body, but there are no male parts there- only a pair of very real breasts.

"I love you, Nikki," Sarah says, kissing me deeply as my whole body begins to fill with the orgasmic feeling I'd had earlier that day...

That week at school we were the main topic of conversation for virtually everyone. It was no secret that I'd turned sixteen and that Sarah had been sixteen for a while, and every teenager in the building knew what that meant. Of course, we neither confirmed nor denied anything, continuing to sit together and get on with our work like good little students, but every time I caught a glimpse of Sarah's body in her short skirt and dark tights, I'd find myself imagining both the body underneath the uniform and the feeling of being in the uniform. And I knew Sarah wouldn't want it to be any other way.

That Friday, as I told Dr. Williamson about what had happened, she simply nodded and assured me that everything I was feeling was normal. However, it was when I told her about what I planned to do on May the sixteenth that she finally broke into a smile.

"I'm happy for you," she said. "This will be a major step, but I'm sure your parents will accept you for who you truly are- and from what you've told me I'm sure that Sarah already has. I think we have a session the following day- if your parents are able to come in with you, I'll happily explain things to them in further detail, and I can write out a prescription for hormone replacement therapy that same day- if that's what you really want."

"It is," I say hesitantly.

"You don't sound too sure?" Dr. Williamson probes. I simply sigh and sit back in my chair.

"Before I had sex I was 100% sure," I confess, "but now... I don't want to lose Sarah, and if I can't give her what she wants..."

"Is that your main concern?" Dr. Williamson asks.

"Yes," I sigh. "I like sex, I just... NEED to be a girl. Like, if I was told I could either live without sex, or live without being a girl, I'd choose giving up sex in a heartbeat. And I know it sounds silly and childish because I've only done it once, but-"

"I don't think it sounds silly at all," Dr. Williamson interrupts. "I think you've thought this through very carefully. And as for what Sarah wants, you need to talk that through with her and determine exactly what it is that she wants. However, from what you've told me, it sounds like she wants you to stop being male almost as much as you do, right?" Barely keeping my emotions in check, I nod in reply.

"She was the first person I ever told about 'Nikki'," I remind the middle-aged woman.

"And she's been the most supportive person of anyone about your change, right?" Dr. Williamson probes further, and I nod again. "Then it doesn't sound like you have too much to worry about."

And yet I still worried, all throughout the rest of the session. As I left, I took out my mobile phone and sent Sarah a quick text message that simply read 'ILY. Nick'. Within seconds, I had my reply- 'GLF <3'. It took me a few seconds to realise that 'GLF' of course stood for 'girl love forever'. Even when I sign my text messages as 'Nick', it must be 'Nikki' that Sarah replies to. Smiling, I head home, repeating the date 'May the sixteenth' over and over in my head all the way...