Born Twice
By Alyssa Plant

”Don’t worry. I’d never let anyone hurt you.”

“I believe you.” She whispered, looking into his eyes, feeling almost warm in the chill night air, a squiggly feeling swimming around her stomach.

Chapter 7

Danny’s jaw must have been resting somewhere around his crotch, he was speechless…

Charlie could feel her cheeks turning red as she stood there, realising how silly she must look, at least to them.

Danny seemed to regain his composure, and yelled into the kitchen something Charlie didn’t hear, but moments later, he was joined by the other boys from the floor, all gawping similarly.

Shifting her gaze, she began to fidget uncomfortably under the pressure of their eyes.

“Man, I can’t believe it, this is so freaky.” Tom was shaking his head with a confused, amused half grin on his tight lips.

General muttering broke out amongst the boys, and before jokes and insults could start, Charlie pushed her way past them and disappeared to hide in the kitchen.

She REALLY needed that beer now to calm her nerves.

Paul was the first to return to the kitchen. He was quite sheepish, and clearly uncomfortable.

“I bet you didn’t expect this when you asked huh?” Charlie said grinning nervously.

Paul slumped into a chair and after taking a long swig from his beer, sighed.

“Not really, we figured you might pull it off better than any of us, but not like that. I mean, your just wearing the stuff she gave you, most of us would look like bad cross dressers if we tried that…” he tailed off realising what he was saying.

“I guess you won’t be embraced at the party then?” Charlie ventured. “That was what you were wondering wasn’t it?”

Paul looked away, confirming her suspicions.

”How’s this then” Charlie blurted, very conscious that she was about to go out on a very narrow, weak limb, in a very high wind. “What if I get one of the girls to do makeup on me, and stuff, and I can just go as your date? Call me something else and pretend its not me?”

”You’d do that?”

His eyes gave his relief away.

“Uh, yeah, well you think I want people to know it’s me too?”

It at least made sense to play along for now. Play like she didn’t enjoy this, if she was ‘pretending’ to be a girl, then she could do the things she wanted, act how she wanted, and not raise questions.

Downing the last of her beer, she stood purposefully, and turned to Paul.

”Ill see you later, have a good time tonight ok?”

Paul looked confused and before he could form the words.

”Well, you’re going with Rebecca aren’t you? Charlie said smiling, and left Paul sat confused in the kitchen.

Where was this confidence coming from? Charlie had never been confident, especially around his floor mates, but SHE was...

She shook her head as she climbed the stairs in the hallway up to one of the girls floors where one of her few friends stayed.

Julie was in most of Charlie’s classes, and the two had grown close in an innocent way.
It was her door she was knocking on now, fully aware that she had never raised this subject with Julie.

The door opened to reveal her friend, some unintelligible TV show still playing in the background. She wore a blank ‘can I help you?’ expression.
“Err, yes?”

“Um, Jules, I was wondering if you could help me with a little problem…” Charlie stuttered, once again feeling like an idiot.

Julie’s jaw joined the others that had hit the floor that evening. “Charlie? Is that you? Oh my….”

“It’s for a party” Charlie blurted, knowing this was not the time to tell his friend, even his best friend.
“I need someone to help with makeup and things, I’m clueless…”

Julie just grinned and opened the door wider to her friend

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Charlie knew that Julie knew. They were too close for that. But she would respect her wishes for now. Words were not important.

“So this is your floor mates isn’t it? Some sport nut party I bet, why are you going?” she called over her shoulder while she pulled some things from her bathroom.

“I don’t know, they asked, I wasn’t doing anything, it seems like a laugh” Charlie said shrugging as Julie came back into the room with a handful of cosmetics.
She directed Charlie to her desk chair, and perching on her bed, set to work with brushes and sticks of things that Charlie had very little idea about.

“Werl, I gesh if vey aren’t going to give you problemsh, it cant ‘urt” She mumbled through a mouth of brushes.

Overcome with a wave of guilt at this white lie she was feeding her friend, she began to say something, but was immediately silenced by a marauding tube of something.

Julie stood back and admired her work.

“Not bad. Not bad if I do say so myself.” She grinned. “Its scary how much like a real girl you look…” She said shaking her head slightly.

”Here, take this, and this, oh, and this might help.” She said throwing some bracelets, a necklace, and a small bag into Charlie’s hands.
After popping some essential touch-up items into the bag, she sent her friend packing.

Charlie was still numb from Julie’s comment. ‘Real girl…. You aren’t a real girl’ kept swimming around her head

Would she ever be a real girl? Would she be forever just out of reach?
Fingering the silver chain around her neck, she opened the door to her floor. There was a pre party in full swing in the kitchen at the far end, and she began her walk.

The first person she met was Page, stood in the doorway on her phone in a far from match ready version of the Chelsea football strip. Rebecca smiled at her and entered the kitchen. Feeling emboldened, she walked over to Paul and tapped him on the shoulder before standing back with a hand on her hip.

He turned as he was sipping another beer, and nearly choked.

“Holy crap, uh Rebecca, you’re hot” he said dumbly.

“Well aren’t you one with the Ladies Paul” shot a raven haired Indian girl, grinning like a devil.
“I don’t think I’ve met you… I’m Annie.” she said, extending her hand to Rebecca.

Shaking it nervously, she smiled, “Rebecca, Rebecca Thompson, I’m a friend of Paul’s from class.”

”Nice to meet you.” She smiled.

Page returned to the kitchen announcing that the Taxi’s had arrived, and after making a bee line for her Tennis partner. Rebecca joined the merry crowd heading out of the building.

The way down the stairs, she could feel Paul’s eyes on her. It made her feel special, even if nothing would happen, they could pretend tonight, and she would go back to being Mr Invisible the next day. It wouldn’t happen, so what did it matter?
In the Taxi, she felt her leg against Paul’s. She retracted hers about the same time he did, and the pair shared a nervous glance. This wasn’t an ordinary situation for either of them.

“Cheer up Becca, he might get pissed and pass out” Shot Danny from the other side of Paul.

Those words made her feel so normal, like she was meant to be there. She could be herself now, and let her hair down, metaphorically speaking. In reality, it was up in a playful sporty ponytail, with a few errant strands framing her face.
Julie had artfully accentuated her natural looks, not trampish, not overdone, but elegant, and fresh.

They arrived at the party, taking place at a house off campus. And all made their ways inside.

Music was thumping, and people were drinking and laughing, sports kit was the order of the evening, and Rebecca was hard pressed to not find a sport represented in some form or other.
She couldn’t help but giggle as she saw a pair running around and slamming into each other. One Dressed as a tennis racquet, and the other, a ball.

The party went well, Rebecca and Paul Mingled and circled, and chatted to people they knew, dancing once or twice. Rebecca felt truly comfortable with herself. Happy for once, she was finally letting her guard down. Paul was nice…. It was a pity this was a Cinderella story of sorts she thought.

The two of them had gotten over their shyness, and were acting like a couple. Holding hands, dancing together, even the others hadn’t batted an eyelid at the obvious chemistry developing between the pair.

”Do you want something to drink?” Paul asked, his shyness clearly wearing off.

”That would be nice…” She said smiling up at him

He disappeared into the crowd and left Rebecca alone.

Moments later, Rebecca felt a hand on her shoulder, and turned expecting Paul, She was faced by a rather drunk looking guy in a tracksuit.

“Hey there sweetie, you here with anyone?” he slurred.

”I uh, yes, he just went for drinks…” Rebecca said looking around desperately for any sign of Paul returning.

Pressing her back into the wall, Mr Tracksuit grinned at her and moved forwards opening his lips, before moving backwards rather quickly.

Paul had the guy by his collar and was glaring at him.
“I wus only talking to her man, chill”

“Fuck off Phil, she’s mine…” he growled shoving the guy into the seething mass of bodies.

He turned back to her, his mask of anger melting into one of concern. “Are you ok? Did he hurt you?”

Just barely keeping from hyperventilating, Rebecca just nodded and grimaced.

“You want to get some air?” he said, handing Rebecca a bottle.

Rebecca nodded, and allowed Him to put his arm around her waist and guide her out through the kitchen to some seats in the garden.

“Are you ok now?” He asked, still looking worried.

”I’m fine, he just scared me, that guy was really drunk.” She said taking a sip from her drink.

They sat for a moment in silence, the throb of the party in the background.

”Don’t worry. I’d never let anyone hurt you.”

“I believe you.” She whispered, looking into his eyes, feeling almost warm in the chill night air, a squiggly feeling swimming around her stomach.

“You know, I meant what I said in there…” He tailed off. “I, you know…”

“That I’m yours?” She half whispered, half sighed. As she said it, she felt so silly, she was a boy, pretending to be a girl, she would never be a real girl, he knew that….

He lifted her chin and stared into her eyes, cocking his head slightly,

”Yeah, if you want to be.”

She closed her eyes and parted her lips slightly, she felt his lips brush hers, tentatively, almost asking. She let her mouth open slightly and cocked her head, accepting his kiss. The squigglyness began to magnify, and she felt light headed as he wrapped his other arm around her waist and pulled her to him. Their tongues danced like flickering flames, and arms roamed tentatively.

Rebecca opened her eyes and sighed.
“This is all make-believe…. You know that right?” She said, trying to convince herself that this wasn’t happening, that she wasn’t falling for him. To almost remind him that she wasn’t a real girl.

“You know, after what I’ve seen tonight, and when I kissed you….” He took her hand in his, “I don think it is, do you?”