Alex in Wonderland Chapter 16 Need to Know By Amethyst

We awoke before sunrise the next morning and, after dressing in our Drakan-hide gear and having a quick breakfast, we loaded all of the relief supplies on our Drakans. Visanna and Arina showed up as we were doing so, and the half-Kyran wasted no time in loading up her Water Drakan as well. As we loaded the Drakans, I kept glancing at my Godmother. I couldn’t explain it, but for some reason since the moment I had first met her I had felt an intense sense of closeness to her. It was almost like when I was speaking to Itari, but not near as intense and instead of just being present when speaking to her it had been ever-present, almost like it had always been there and I just hadn’t realized I was missing it, until she had hugged me during our first meeting.

I tried to shrug it off, since I would have a long flight with plenty of time to try to puzzle it out. As soon as the Drakans were loaded up with all the supplies we all placed our weapons in the saddle bags attached to the Drakans’ harnesses. While I wanted to be prepared for anything, this was a peaceful mission and I didn’t want to offend the Kyran by us openly wearing weapons.

Soon we were all mounted up, with Jezz joining me on Michelle. Since Grayle wouldn’t be able to join us, Laila had promised to keep her company while we were gone and take care of her needs. The white Zenin seemed excited at the prospect of caring for a Drakan, even if it wasn’t one of her own, and she and Grayle seemed to get on fairly well. As we said our farewells and took to the dawn-lit skies I could feel a rush of worry and sadness from my new bride.

I didn’t need to be a telepath to know what was wrong. As she wrapped her arms around me, and Michelle circled to a higher altitude, I tried to reassure her. ~Grayle will be fine, she’s a big girl now, right Grayle?~

~Of course I will; this place is bristling with guardsmen, I will have my very own Zenin lackey the whole time you’re gone, and I intend to take full advantage of it. You’ll be plenty safe with Alex, Michelle, and the others to protect you,~ the Earth Drakan agreed, trying to soothe her Chosen.

~But we’ve never been this far apart before, or for this long,~ the Cinole lamented. ~We don’t even know if we’ll still be able to communicate that far apart.~

~You’ll be back tomorrow afternoon or evening at the latest. Go, have fun, and if we can’t communicate while you’re there, then just tell me all about it when you get back. This is a big opportunity. Not many people can say they’ve visited the Dacotis Islands and spent time with the Kyran. And by helping them in their time of need they may consider an alliance with Azure, especially if it’s the two newlywed princesses delivering that relief,~ Grayle sent back to my beloved. I could feel the appeal to Jezz’s sense of duty, and her curiosity about the Kyran, conflicting with her need to care for her Drakan as we followed Visanna and Arina out to sea.

The trip was going to be a long one, with the only scenery being the ocean beneath us. I was worrying about how to pass the time when I felt the pull of the land and Itari’s voice entered my thoughts. ~You must be cautious Alexis, you are leaving My domain and My ability to protect you from Lharus will be diminished. You must all stay near the Kyran, Visanna is one of Orin’s favored and He will not allow Lharus to harm her. Orin has remained neutral until now, but the recent attack on the Dacotis Islands, His domain, has brought him to our side regarding Lharus.~

I frowned at that, Itari was openly sharing information about the Gods choosing sides. ~l was wondering if the hurricane might be Lharus’ doing.~

~It was,~ the Goddess replied. ~He is beginning to make His move. He cannot reach you while you are in My domain so He hopes to weaken any possible allies before the war begins.~

This worried me immensely. ~You’re outright telling me this, no hinting or suggesting where I might look for information this time. What’s changed?~

~Shit,~ I cursed. ~Thank you for telling me Itari. I know that I probably haven’t been the easiest heir ever to put up with, but I do appreciate what you’re trying to do for me and Azure.~

~You are not the easiest no, but you are certainly the most entertaining,~ she said, wrapping me in the warmth of her mental embrace. ~Lharus will send similar storms against other non-human nations. I have told your mother, and she is having telepath’s contact her diplomats in those nations. I worry about having you leave My domain, but I feel that you can make allies of the Kyran. Still, you must remain cautious, the children must be kept safe.~

~The children? Are you saying I’m pregnant?!~ I asked in a rush.

~Yes, Kanae has blessed you with twins. She sends her congratulations to you and Lannah both. All three of your children will be close to the Divine, and must be kept safe.~ I was so stunned by the pronouncement that I was actually pregnant, and that apparently Lannah was as well, that I almost missed what She said next. ~Kanae also asks that you pass on a message to your bride. Tell her to seek out Her priestess among the Kyran and tell her, ‘I am a bud, seeking to blossom’. The priestess will know what it means. Please be cautious Alexis.~

I could feel Jezz shaking my shoulder, ~Are you alright my love?~

~Let me guess,~ Michelle interjected, ~Itari wanted to have a chat? She’s been quiet since the Union celebration, which is odd for Her, usually She’s ‘not interfering’ with you at least once every day or two.~

~I think the fact that there’s a possible civil war brewing amongst the Gods may be keeping her busy,~ I quickly retorted as I sent out an empathic sense of need toward Lannah.

~Well that was an interesting way to get my attention,~ Lannah’s mind voice said as she slipped into my mind.

~I needed to bring you into this conversation, and since you weren’t in range for me to talk to or touch I had to make due,~ I answered with a mental shrug.

~Okay, what did you need to talk about?~ the human shifter and telepath asked.

I gripped the riding straps tight as I replied, ~I just talked to Itari and we have problems. She said something that concerns you as well, so I thought you might want to hear it. Also I’m going to need you to forward this information to the others telepathically, since we’re nowhere near landing yet.~

I quickly summed up the divide between the Gods, and what had led up to it, and when I was done Michelle gave a mental grimace. I could feel my Drakan grumbling both mentally and physically as she said, ~So the upshot is that Itari still can’t tell you what to do, but at least now She’s giving you all the information. The war hasn’t even started yet; but it’s already bigger than us, the mortals that will be the ones fighting it. Did She say anything else?~

~She wants me to be careful while we’re outside Her domain, and She passed on some messages for Lannah, Jezz, and I from Kanae.~ I admitted.

~Why would Kanae ask Itari to pass on messages to us?~ Lannah asked, a bit dumbfounded.

~I’m bound to the crystal fountain, and Itari, so She has a direct line to me,~ I explained. ~Anyway Kanae wants Jezz to find Her priestess among the Kyran and tell her ‘I am a bud, seeking to blossom’, apparently she’ll know what it means. As for you and I Lannah; Kanae just wanted to pass on her congratulations. She said to congratulate us both, and mentioned our three children being close to the Divine. So, since I was told that I’m having twins, I guess we’ll get to be moms together.~

I had expected happiness, and possibly celebratory squeals, from Lannah and Jezz, but all I got was confusion and shock. Lannah’s mind felt sort of numb to me as she thought, ~but that’s not possible…~

~Excuse me, but didn’t you have nearly as much sex with Jonth as I did? And you did go through the same ritual cleansing and prayer at Kanae’s temple that I did. Why is this so surprising to you?~ I asked in confusion.

~Think about it Alex,~ Michelle quickly jumped in. ~The only mixed species person we’ve ever met here is your godmother. I haven’t seen any half-Zenin’s running around and, given the various family types we’ve seen, it makes me doubt that human and Zenin, or any other species, are even biologically compatible.~

~We’re not,~ Lannah responded, her mind still full of shock. ~At least, we’re not supposed to be. Visanna is the only half-breed of any species to ever be born, or conceived to my knowledge, and I thought she was playing with us when she said that. The Gods just don’t allow it.~

~Kanae is the Goddess of the harvest, fertility, and birth, if anyone is able to circumvent that rule it would be Her,~ I pointed out. ~With Visanna She may have used a loophole, since she said her mother was human and her father was a Shifter pretending to be human at the time. These Gods have a thing for loopholes, or at least They did until recently. Now They’re openly defying one another, and Kanae has already blindsided the other Gods once while blatantly breaking their rules, when She gave us that wedding gift. It’s becoming apparent that not all the Gods agree on what the rules should be, or how to enforce them anymore.~

~Could it be somebody else’s baby?~ Michelle asked uncertainly.

~Of course not!~ Lannah snapped. ~I’m the same age as Alex, and Jonth was the first and only man I have ever been with!~ She was angry at the insinuation, but more than that she was scared, and worried. ~The Gods had reasons for not allowing mixed births, what if the baby is born deformed or something?~

~I think if Kanae was going to break the rules again, so quickly and in such a blatant way, She would make damn sure that it was for a good reason. Also, if She has such an interest in our unborn children that She had to send a personal congratulations along, I’m pretty damn sure that they will be born healthy and whole. Part of the message was that they needed to be kept safe. Besides, Visanna seems perfectly healthy,~ I reminded her.

Michelle was brooding as they flew. It was times like these when she really missed Earth. While she loved being big and powerful, and being able to fly, keeping Alex safe for the foreseeable future was looking more and more difficult each day. She would of course do her best, and of course Alex had abilities and resources of her own to help toward that end, but this whole situation was spiraling out of control. This upcoming war was a Gods’ blood feud, pure and simple, so why should mortals have to fight and die in it.

"If the damn Gods actually followed and enforced their non-interference rules this situation would never have happened," she thought. Life was so much simpler on Earth where the Gods were either absent or just didn’t give a shit. She believed that Itari wanted Alex and Azure kept safe, but there were other Gods up there. The whole problem was that They either didn’t want to interfere or They did and were positioning mortals to do Their dirty work for them. At least Itari was sharing more information now, and letting Alex decide what to do with it. She knew that her Chosen resented being moved about like a queen in a game of chess, almost as much as she herself did, and maybe that would stop now that they knew what needed to be done and had more information available to decide on how to do it.

Living in a fantasy world was not everything that she had hoped it would be. It was amazing in so many ways, but things like the Gods being so involved, and an inevitable war, scared her more than she was willing to admit to Alex or the others. She had come here to protect her twin and she had amazing abilities, but could she protect Alex through everything that was coming their way? Sometimes she even worried that Alex didn’t need her protection.

On Earth, Alex’s ability to make sound decisions was questionable at best. She had taken up smoking, hadn’t told her twin that she had Cancer, sacrificed her true self on the altar of conformity, and generally avoided problems rather than dealing with them. Since Alex had come to the Greylands though, she was like a butterfly coming out of a cocoon. Instead of hiding from challenges she faced them head on, she accepted help when it was needed, and for the most part her decisions were well thought out, using all the resources at her disposal. She was becoming the leader that Azure would need her to be.

Alex had more confidence now than Michelle had seen her have their whole lives on Earth. Where before despair was a part of who she was, and she had just given in rather than fighting what she thought fate had in store for her, now she fought against the plans of Gods with every fiber of her being. There were times where there were no choices open to her, like with needing an heir before the war, but she accepted those situations gracefully, even when Michelle herself couldn’t, and faced the challenge head on. And yet, while she accepted no choice situations, she no longer seemed to believe in a no-win situation. It was inspiring, but given what they seemed to be up against it also scared the hell out of the Radiant Drakan.

We had been flying in silence for quite some time, with Jezz starting to get depressed from being out of telepathic range with Grayle, when Michelle noticed the large shapes in the water below and pointed them out. The dark purple creatures looked vaguely like whales, but it was hard to tell from our current altitude. I wanted to ask Visanna what they were, but Michelle was flying in the middle of the formation where it was safest, while Visanna and Arina were well ahead in the lead and Patar and Runne brought up the rear. It was a few moments later that Lannah sent, ~Visanna says we are close to the islands now. We should start seeing the largest island on the horizon any time now, that’s the one where most of the Kyran live. There’s a small island she wants us to land on just up ahead though.~

We all landed on the beach on the small atoll and dismounted to stretch our legs a bit while Visanna addressed us. “I will need you all to wait here while Alexis and I go on to the island alone. My people will not welcome a large group of non-Kyran without approval from the council of elders, so we will explain that we are here to help and hope that they will listen.”

Rozia crossed her four white furred arms in annoyance. “I do not feel good about letting Alexis go there with only one person to protect her. She is a non-Kyran, what if they react badly to her presence?”

“I will not allow anyone to harm her,” Visanna responded sternly. “You must trust me on this. I have made it well known among my people that I have sworn the oath, before Orin and Itari, to accept an outsider as my own child. I will introduce her as my Jikkune, and by our own laws they will have to accept her as my daughter, and part of the tribe. I would bring Jezz as well, but Alexis needs to be accepted as one of us before I can introduce her bride.”

“These are her people, she knows how they think, and if my mother trusts her with my life than so do I We will do it her way,” I stated after a moment’s thought. “I guess this means that you will want me to leave Michelle behind as well?”

“Orin’s balls, no!" she replied with a grin. “We want you to impress them immediately. Drakans were an extremely rare sight here until I brought Arina here. My people believe that they are the manifestation of a God’s favor. When I first showed up here looking for my father, an unknown Kyran on a Water Drakan, they thought that I was Orin’s own messenger. It has been nearly sixteen passes and I still cannot convince them that Arina is not proof that I am Orin’s chosen one. Michelle is much bigger than Arina, and extremely shiny. You showing up riding her will work in our favor.”

“I guess we will do it your way then, so long as Michelle can go,” the Jiquar relented. “Please keep her safe.”

“I will,” Visanna insisted before turning to me. “My people will expect me to have told my ‘daughter’ at least some things about our people before bringing her home, so I will tell you a few of the basic things now: Our chief food sources are fruit, fish, shix, battu and cythirr meat; we are ruled by a council of elders, one from each of the tribes on the islands; and disputes are settled through battles of honor, so be careful not to offend someone. Any questions?”

I knew what shix was, it was type of grain commonly grown all over Azure, but the word cythirr eluded me. “What exactly are cythirr?”

“Those big purple creatures you probably saw in the water are cythirr,” she explained. “We hunt them for food, and for their thick fat which we use to make the scented oils we use in our lamps. They only eat piska, it is a fast growing seaweed that only grows near the islands. The oil they provide is very important. Since there are not many Enchanters here to produce Kida lamps, we rely on oil lamps for light.”

I nodded as I thought about it. “I haven’t seen lamps like those in your shop in Azure before. Usually those who can’t afford kida lamps use torchlight. They provide good light and smell nice, so I’m pretty sure there would be a good trade market for them, even if just for the novelty.”

“Most of the things I sell in my shop are things I thought would appeal to the people of Azure. I’ve been hoping to show both or our countries that trade could be beneficial for both sides. I often bring things from Azure that we can’t get locally back to the islands as well,” she admitted. “We’ll let Arina and Michelle rest for a short time, and then you and I can be on our way.”

~Bullshit you’ve never seen lamps like those, they’re old tech on Earth and we saw lots on our trip to London and through the English countryside after we graduated,~ Michelle mentally chided me.

I gave my Drakan a mental smile as I stressed, ~I said I’ve never seen lamps like that in Azure. Besides these ones smell nicer.~

~Yes, I caught that,~ she responded testily as she craned her long neck around to give me a glare. ~You’re getting good at telling the truth, while not revealing everything; maybe you’ve been talking to Itari too much. Are you going to tell her the truth about us? She and Arina care for you, or rather Visanee, they deserve to know.~

~I really want to, you know how much I hate living a lie to those who care about us, but I’m worried about how she might take it.~ I did hate living a lie. I had even told Irric and Rozia the truth a few days before the Union ceremony. Irric thought that it was hilarious for some reason and it didn’t change his opinion of me. Rozia, though she had started to become a bit more protective of me, thought that I had done well for myself and Azure since Visanee and I had traded places.

~I know it’s tearing you up inside, that’s why you need to tell them,~ Michelle insisted.

She was right and I knew it. I hated living a lie with most people on principle, but with Visanna it was worse because I felt a closeness to her that I just couldn’t explain. I let out a sigh and, after I let Chrissy out of her saddlebag to take her usual place around my neck, I walked over to the half-Kyran who was now walking knee deep in the ocean with her Drakan. “Visanna, there’s something I that really need to talk to you about… I’m not who you think I am.”

To my surprise she let out a sigh of her own. “See Arina, I told you that she wouldn’t be able to wait long before telling us. The bond is as strong as ever.”

“What?” I asked, dumbfounded.

“You were going to tell us that you’re not the same girl I took as my Jikkune; that the body is the same, but the soul inhabiting it is not,” she stated simply.

I continued to stare at her in confusion. “Did Mom tell you?” I finally managed to ask.

“She did when she visited, but I knew before that,” she said as she leaned against Arina and turned to face me. “I knew the moment that you and Visanee traded places, less than a sevensun before your Giftsun.”

“How could you know that?” I asked.

“The ceremony that bound us as Jikkune and Jikkara is not unlike the ceremony used to bind Heirs of Azure to the land, Itari insisted on a specific ceremony, so that I could find and watch over you if anything happened to your parents. A small shard of the crystal fountain was used to draw blood from our chests, close to the heart, and I swore the oath while holding you in the waters of the ocean outside Draden, with Orin, my patron God, and Itari, your patron Goddess, witnessing it. Since we were bound by blood and magic I could always feel your essence, but on that day the feeling of your essence changed. We were still bonded, but you felt different to me,” she explained.

“If you knew, then what was up with your reaction when we first met in your shop?” I wondered aloud.

“I lost myself in the moment. It was nice seeing you, and I really did forget that you might not know me. After I calmed down, I decided to act as if everything was normal and let you tell me in your own time. I did not think you would take long, from what Patar said when he came by to arrange our meeting.”

“You’re talking about me like I’m Visanee, but I’m not. I may have her body, but it’s my soul in here not hers. Doesn’t that bother you?” I asked nervously.

“I mourned for Visanee the day you switched places. I knew that I lost my Jikkune that day, and I still feel that loss at times, but I also gained a new Jikkune and I look forward to getting to know her.” Seeing that I wasn’t really convinced she added, “Visanee chose the timing of her plan well, you know.”

“Well if she had waited any longer she would have been bound to the land and committed to being Heir,” I pointed out.

“There was that, yes,” she agreed, “but doing it so close to her Giftsun made the change easier mentally, for those of us who were close to her.”

“I would have thought losing her, and having her replaced by a stranger in her body, so close to her Giftsun would make it harder on you,” I replied, not quite sure where she was going with it.

The Kyran shook her head. “No, in fact it’s the opposite. Here in the Greylands you can never be sure who’s going to be Gifted until their Giftsun. Some families have long lines of Gifted while others have none, but even in those there’ is always the chance that it could happen to someone. Gifting can change a person in so many ways. Some people like you get power, and power itself can change how a person sees the world. Some change physically like me, I took after my mother’s human side of the family before my Gifting, but now I’m a normal Kyran. Some though change mentally; their tastes, goals, and even their personality could change from that brief contact with the Divine, and those changes are more likely in those who get Gifts than those who do not.”

“So you’re saying that Visanee could have become an entirely different person anyway if she had stayed?” I asked uncertainly.

“In a sense, and with her coming from a long line of Gifted those of us close to her prepared ourselves for that as her Giftsun got closer. That is why we change names after getting our Gifts and becoming adults, it represents the person we are now, rather than the person we were as a child. It’s also why Heirs of Azure are not crowned and bound to the land until after they have had their Gifting, Itari needs to get a sense of who they are and will be, not who they were.”

“That explains a lot,” I replied with a groan. “I was wondering though, if you knew Visanee had changed, why didn’t you come looking for me?

“Knowing you are alive and feeling your essence does not mean I would know where you are at any given moment, though the bond does get stronger the closer together we are. I think it’s possible Itari had the same problem, that is why Patar and the others were sent out to search,” she answered tentatively.

“I’m still getting used to the idea of Gods having actual power over mortals, so you might have to explain that one to me,” I retorted with a frown. “I kind of figured that Itari was omniscient, I mean She always seems to know what’s going on with me.”

My Jikkara seemed to think about it for several minutes before her face lit up. “Oh that is a good way of putting it!” She pulled me along out of the water and back to the beach, where she bent over to pick up a heaping double handful of sand. “Take this sand in your hands and I’ll explain it.”

I let her pour the sand into my cupped hands and asked, “Okay now what?”

“Think of yourself as Itari,” she told me. “You’re in the Divine Realm and have to pay attention to what’s going on around you, but you also have your area of influence to manage. Itari is the Goddess of Earth, and all the plants, animals, and people that live on or in it. Let us say that sand in your hands is Azure, your domain, where you are strongest and it is easiest for you to focus your attention and use your power. The rest of this entire beach, that’s the rest of the Greylands. Do you understand so far?”

“I’m following you,” I agreed.

She smiled at me and pinched a bit from my pile of sand between her thumb and forefinger. “Now you know the general area where Visanee is, since she was supposed to be kept safe in the castle, so she’s one of these grains of sand here. You have a lot of other matters to attend to and people vying for your attention and, since you have a good idea where she is, you can take your attention off her for a bit.” Then she smiled, pointed off to sea and yelled, “Look at that ridiculous outfit Jos is wearing!”

To my shame my head snapped around to look and I blushed as I saw nothing. Hey, she pointed and yelled. When I turned my head back I realized that she no longer had that pinch of sand. “Where…” I began to ask.

“Oh I just flicked that sand somewhere on the beach… or maybe I just dropped it back in Azure there. No problem though, surely you know which one is her. You can probably find her if you look through all the other grains of sand, many of which look nearly identical. It will be easier and quicker for you to find her in Azure, so you look there first, and then if she is not one of those grains of sand you will have to look out there.” She waved broadly over the beach as she added, “Only out there is a lot bigger, and there is so much of it that it is hard to find one small grain in all of that and keep your attention in the Divine Realm as well.”

“Okay, so Itari needs to focus to see specific people or places and affect them, and even more if they aren’t in her seat of power,” I conceded.

“If you really wanted to keep track of important grains of sand, what would you do?” she asked, still smiling.

“I guess I would make them stand out somehow,” I said with a shrug before the reason Itari was always able to keep track of me sunk in. “I would bind them to me through my source of power, so that they were always attuned to me and I could focus on them a lot more easily. That’s why She binds us to the land when we become Heir, only She can’t do it until our Giftsun so She knows if we’ll be a good Queen and manage Her domain responsibly for Her.”

“Correct, you are connected to Itari, so She will always know what is going on with you, but Her ability to sense other things varies on how far from Azure they are, and whether She is focusing on that area or specific person at the time. That was how your uncle Naddim nearly managed to succeed in getting his daughter named Heir during the Shadow War. He lured your mother out of Azure before she became Heir, sent her out to sea to be killed, and did all of his planning from Syrnia while having his brothers do anything he needed done in Azure to take suspicion off him.”

I had been wondering how Naddim had come so close to succeeding, it was one of my history lessons that just hadn’t made sense to me, because I had assumed Itari was omniscient. I nodded and asked something else I had been pondering. “Does that sand analogy work for the rest of the Gods too? That would explain why Lharus didn’t just swat us out of the air on the way here.”

“Yes,” she supplied with a nod, “though for Orin those grains would be fish, Kyran and anything else in the ocean, Lharus would be anything flying at the time, and so on depending on the Gods’ area of influence. In all cases it is hard to single out just one or even a few. Each God has a source of power too, and their domain is centered around it; Lharus’ is somewhere in the western part of the empire, and Orin’s is in the sea beneath the islands.”

“How did you figure all this out,” I asked in puzzlement.

“Orin told me while we were in the water,” she explained. “That is my Gift; I am a Diviner and I can sometimes sense things that are happening, or going to happen, when I am in the water. Orin speaks to me through the water as well.”

I mulled over everything she had just told me, but something was bothering me and after a moment I realized what it was. “Wait a minute, you said that a shard from the crystal fountain was used to make the bond between us. Even when separated from the fountain it would retain some of Itari’s power. We have to drip our blood on the crystal fountain itself and swear the oath to Itari to be bound the land, but shouldn’t a shard when used in a magic ritual like that not only bind the two of us, but also make us stand out a bit more from those other grains of sand?”

“I was only explaining how Orin told me the Gods’ awareness works; I never said that Itari did not know where you were,” she said as she too considered it. “She could not outright tell anyone, including your mother, where you were without it looking like She was interfering in mortal affairs though.” Then she grinned at me as Chrissy nuzzled my cheek and hummed affectionately. “Maybe She was just looking for the right grain of sand to watch over you until help could arrive.”