When I am wheeled into the hospital, Aunt Marti puts an overnight bag onto the little lap I have remaining. I get my name tag to go around my wrist and I’m asked about insurance and for more information than I have. They say they have to call the administrator about whether I can be admitted or if I need to go to another hospital. I have to wait over twenty minutes and I am getting annoyed as well as worried. I’m told, “You getting upset will not be helpful for the babies. You need to relax and be a good Mommy.”

The nurse asks, “If I were a real expectant Mom would you be doing this?” I’m told it happens which does not endear me to those who are to admit me. It is another ten minutes, with a nurse checking to see if I’m dilating yet. Finally I get my official wrist band identifying me, my doctor and the official time I am admitted. I’m told the clock is running and that I’d regularly have twenty-four hours from now to stay in the hospital.

“Since you are early and expecting twins you will atleast have an added day and the babies will probably remain here until your regular due date, March 14.” My blood pressure has actually risen by the time I get to the labor room. I’m upset again as I expected to be in the delivery room already and soon to be done. Nurse Kathy tells me it will likely be hours before I’m ready for the delivery room. The Charge Nurse comes in and tells me Dr. Tim Johnson will be delivering my babies. I am relieved when Kathy steps up to tell her Dr. Kylie is coming into deliver the babies.

The Charge Nurse muffles her voice, but I hear her say, “She better not let the patient in 5024 know she’s here. She’s no happier than Melanie about having Dr. Johnson.”

Kathy assures me later when I ask, “Dr. Johnson is really a very good doctor; it is just his bedside manner is not up to Dr. Kylie’s. If she’s in the hospital she often does or assists some of the deliveries.”

Mom and Trudy are both allowed to scrub and dress for being with me in the labor room. I am grossed out about my legs being put into stirrups. Then, it’s like a spirit comes over me and I feel like Melanie’s really having the twins. Suddenly I’m proud to have my feet in the stirrups as I’m being treated as a girl. Once Nurse Kathy announces I’m dilated 3 centimeters, Mom excuses herself saying she’s going to allow Aunt Marti to come in her place for a moment.

I say, “Mom you’re going to leave me when I’m having the baby?”

“Relax Sweetie it will likely be hours before you go into labor, I’ll be back in. I just thought Aunt Marti’s been like your mother too. Plus I don’t want Marti staying up too late, you’re not the only one who is pregnant you know,” Mom giggles as does Trudy.

Even with her holding one of my hands, I almost forgot Trudy’s here. I look down to my spread legs and ask, “Am I properly covered?” Kathy announces, “Modesty is not easily kept in labor and delivery. I guess this might be even harder on a boy in your spot.”

Trudy says, "Right now I'm only interested in Melanie"

Another two hours pass before Kathy announces, "You're dilated 5 cc and things are likely to start to happen.

I am taken into an older delivery room and set up for giving birth to my babies. Dr. Kylie moves between my legs, “I’m going ahead and breaking your water.” I don’t know what she did but I feel a noticeable prick and then water rushing out of some place over my bottom. Dr. Kylie moves back, takes off soiled gloves and asks Nurse Kathy, “Please clean her off. I’ll be right back I’m going to tell Dr. Johnson he’s back on his own. Young lady, you are about to have your babies.”

'Right back' is over another forty minutes; Mom and Trudy are told to time me for every five minutes when I should be having contractions and pain growing more severe. Mom tells me, “The pain now should be like when you put your wrist went through the storm window.” More anxiety than it is about pain. It is thirty minutes later though it only seemed like ten; the contractions are less than two minutes apart. Mom tells me, “It’s now like the time you were attacked by the large dog on my paper route.”

I say, “That was painful and frightening.” Mom says, “Exactly, especially for a first time mother like you.” Dr. Kylie is talking to me and telling me she is not fully sure if one baby is able to freely move around the other or the exact positions of the babies. I can feel her wet hands on me. I give a faint grunt when she tells me to push. “That’s not even good acting in drama 101. Now push and hold it ten to fifteen seconds, I’ll tell you to stop.” I curl forward and give a grunt and hold it. Kathy has put two pillows behind me and they are not comfortable. I complain about the discomfort.

Dr. Kylie asks my Mom, “How was it to deliver Melanie, Mom?”

“I thought being the third baby she would be easier, but she was bigger and the pain meds worked too slowly.” Trudy is telling me to take freshening breaths. Then Dr. Kylie tells me, “Push again and continue to push. You’re crowning.”

Mom asks, “Remember when you broke you arm and the doctor had to reset it a second time?”

“That was my worst pain ever,” I tell her. “This would be worse and you have to push to get the full force of the pain.”

“Why would a woman want all that pain,” I ask?

Mom says, “Because you want the baby more. Do you want your twins enough or not?” I smile because Mom knows I do, but I hadn’t thought of things that way.

“Does that mean we’re about through?” Kylie responds, “It means I can see the top of the first baby’s head and the serious part is about to begin.” “Okay push again.”

Trudy says, as Dr. Kylie asks me to push again, “I can’t hear you?” I say, “Yes.”

She says, “Push and show me you want this baby even though it hurts.” I push and start to scream lightly,

“That’s more like it young lady, not a mother delivering a baby,” Dr. Kylie grins as she encourages me.

“Women scream when they’re having a baby?” I ask.

Kathy smiles, “Some sound more like an angry trucker.”

“You mean they swear?” Mom smiles, “Not me of course, but some swear like a drunken sailor!” I am pretty sure they are exaggerating, but I'm not sure.

Dr. Kylie laughs, “Remember women we are sharing privileged information with a male just visiting in our domain.” Every one laughs but me, I’m not use any of this as Trudy tells me to push again and scream, “Ah, ah and hold it.” “Ah, ah, aaahhhh!” Kylie asks me to continue, “Oohhh, noooo crappp!”

I lose track of pushes, contractions and time. I do feel like I’m getting tired as it has to be atleast 3:00 a.m. in the morning. She announces one shoulder is through with the last push and now when I push again she tells me the baby is coming, but I need to hold my pushing until she tells me to stop. I hear her describe the baby being born. There is the sound of a baby crying in the room; it's my baby. I start crying for joy and try to see the baby. My bump limits my view of the baby covered with water and some blood. She is crying as she is put on top of me. Another nurse takes the baby to be cleaned and weighed. The baby looks real enough though smaller and gangly looking instead of a fat bundle with a big head full of hair.

I ask, “So what is the baby boy or girl? Is she healthy!” I see Trudy and Mom both beaming. Trudy wipes my face and it feels good but I’m anxious. When Kathy brings the baby back over she says, “It’s a baby girl; let’s see if we can get her to nurse a little.” I feel something latch onto one of my tits; I’m not sure what they’re doing. “Stop that it hurts.” Dr. Kylie points to my Mother, “Yes it did when you started to nurse from me.” The image of me nursing from my Mom sends mixed feelings. I really don’t like the image of my mom breastfeeding, but I remember seeing Aunt Marti doing it and it give me a good feeling that I could too.

It feels like ten minutes when Dr. Kylie says it’s over an hour, and they begin having me push again and feeling contractions. Dr. Kylie sounds worried despite she’s trying to sound relaxed. “Melanie, I will tell you like I am talking to a regular mother. The second baby has its cord around its neck which is dangerous. I will try to unwrap it, but we might soon be changing over to do a C-section to be safe.

Kathy is speaking into an ear telling be to “Begin pushing and feel the contraction and know this one will last unusually long and it’s out of your control.” I hear Dr. Kylie speaking, but I don’t know what she’s saying until I hear “No, no, don’t push! I don’t want you to push.” But Kathy says my body still wants to push. I’m trying to listen to both. I know it’s not real, yet it is very real to me. I’m afraid, until I hear Dr. Kylie tell me, “We’re safe; I got the cord from around her neck.”

We still have the contractions, pushing and more descriptions of pain and fatigue. It’s now all running together and I am listening to Dr. Kylie and Trudy’s instruction. I squeezed Mom’s hand too hard and the next time it’s Trudy who complains about my squeezing her hand too hard.

The way Dr. Kylie is describing it; I can almost feel the second baby come through the birthing canal to be born. I cry and joy rushes over me as I relax with the second baby being born. Dr. Kylie lifts up a small hose with gunk covering it and she puts two clips on it. “Trudy would you cut this between these two tied off areas?”

Trudy smiles “Can I?” She cuts the baby’s umbilical cord.

Both babies are girls and they look good to me but scrawny from the babies I’ve seen. I’m told they are both around four pounds and with one a bit heavier than the other. Dr. Kylie reminds me they’re premature and not fully developed. She says, "If you are lucky, they might only take two weeks to be up to five pounds and able to go home, but their lungs and organs need to be fully developed."

Dr. Kylie shows be an ultrasound picture of twins, I know even twelve hours ago it wouldn’t have meant very much or feel as beautiful as it does now. I ask her what likely wouldn’t be as developed as such with babies at this point. She tells me their lungs, digestion system, and maybe their eyes.

“I would be anxious about those things, wouldn’t I?”

“Yes, you'd be anxious; hopefully your Mom and Aunt Marti would be very proud of you young man/young woman.” Kathy and Steph the other nurse compliment and affirm what Dr. Kylie says.

The nurses cleans me up and take me to my room, 5032. While I was lying down Kathy had changed my breast forms to a full C-cup and stating by my nursing they might continue to grow larger temporarily. She tells me, “One of your two babies will actually be easier and quicker to nurse than the other.”

I am tired and want to sleep, but my mother strongly encourages me to see those who waited during my delivery. Trudy gives me a very passionate kiss before she goes out to allow others to come in. Dad, Sara and Grandma all come in, even though visitors are usually to two at a time. It is funny as the babies are now in room with me in their bassinets. I have no trouble telling them apart despite being identical twins. Sarai is said to be four ounces heavier, she has a pronounced dimple and I think wider eyes, even though others say there's no difference.

Sara picks up Sarai who wakes and starts to cry; I turn on the light and call for a nurse to come turn the baby off. An older nurse comes and informs me, “Babies do not have off switches,” which I knew. I need to figure out if Sarai needs to be changed or nursed. The nurse and I decide she needs both and I will nurse her first. Luckily Sarai nurses easily. Dad chuckles at me burping and changing her. I ask Dad to leave as I'm embarrassed with his presence.

Sara then holds Sarai as Dad and Grandma changes with those now in the waiting room. I thought it would be my Mom and Aunt Marti, but Sandy and Sharon come in saying they’re my lost sisters. I get frustrated trying to get Allyson to nurse. I’m ready to call the nurse again when Sandy helps to get her to attach and suck my breast. It takes three times to get her to stay sucking. Sharon and Sandy both take pictures, promising not to share them. I don’t know how the mechanical doll sucks or that the breast form actually has a bladder of fake milk.

Upon burping Allyson, I’m struggling to sleep and Sharon is nice enough to change and hold the baby. They say I visited another ten minutes but I don’t remember our visit or them leaving. Mom says I fell asleep at 5:30 and despite others checking me, I don’t wake up until 8:00 a.m.

I’m disappointed that Dr. Kylie had already been in and won’t be back until late afternoon. After lunch they get me up a second time, but inform me I will be going home yet today: “Because your insurance won’t allow you to stay longer. We’re sure it is a computer cliché on the insurance side, but if it is not, you would have to pay over $1,500 more for you. We will keep the babies, but you might have over $30,000 thousand or more to pay as they say you do not have the extended coverage of their premium plan.”

I pump two extra bottles but would need to come early in the morning, 5:00 a.m. early on Sunday. Dr. Kylie informs me in the afternoon, “You will be taking Sarai and Allie home Sunday at noon so Marti is not tending after you and so you can tend Marti. You're treating the babies as real will end when Aunt Marti comes in to give birth to her baby.”

I ask Dr. Kylie whether Aunt Marti is having a boy or girl. She knows, but she won’t tell me. I knew Marti doesn’t want to know but I wanted too. Having big breasts and a nursing bra are great if you want to impress someone, but they are not great for fashion and the breasts tend to drip if one is too active.

Dr. Kylie tells me, “I give you three to five days off before being back in school and having to nurse, care for the babies and study. If your Mom watches them it should only be while you’re in school. During that time and more so after, I want you to focus on helping your Aunt Marti. Do we have an agreement?”

Monday, the first day I’m back in school, most guys are quickly ogle-eyeing my larger breasts. A number of the girls are asking me how I felt, and if I had boys, girls or one of each. Many seemed to know some things, but say Sandy, Sharon, even my girlfriend Trudy told them I needed to be the one to tell them. The girls try to talk privately to me in the girls’ restroom, home economics and at the table of girls during lunch.

We all know it’s not real but it’s fun to talk about everything. Several girls volunteer to show me the size of a real vagina. It’s not that I’m not interested, but I wanted it to be a more intimate and romantic setting.

Ms Braun calls me to her office and tells me, “You are to be using today’s study class to begin your special report. Knowing you need to be helping your Aunt Marti and keeping up your studies, we will give you ten days after your Aunt’s baby is born to finish your report." She smiles, it’s a different smile; “You are to stay in my office as your mother is bringing the twins to be taken care of. Please do not tell others or this privilege will be taken away, do you understand?”

“Thank you.” My Mother and Father bring in the twins and my Mom stays as I nurse them and change diapers. Mom visits about me helping Aunt Marti more and more, especially with Sheri and Suzy. Mom shares pictures she has of me in the delivery room with Trudy helping me. They are neither a work of art nor very flattering. “Sweetie, I share them to show how much you’ve given of yourself to this experience. I want you to know we am proud of you and hope your report will be worthy of what you have done and learned. I will help you however I can if you want my help.”

Mom asks, “Are you looking forward to things returning to normal after this is all over?” Mom and I stare at each other as I begin changing the twins.

“Mom, can I share something without you lecturing me or freaking out on me?”

Mom says, “Yes, but we will probably need to talk more when you’re over for family dinner.”

I'm nervous telling her, “Mom when this started, I thought Melanie was just some pretend person like the twins kinda are; now I’m not sure.” Mom comes over as I put Allyson down. She gives me a hug, “I suspected that might be the case, tell me when did you feel like Melanie is you?”

“I talked about it with my counselor in December and two times since, but I think Melanie has been me longer.”

Mom hugs me, brushing my hair out of my eyes, “Does it frighten you or make you feel good?”

I'm surprised as Mom seems to understand, “Mom, did you know? Did the counselor tell you or what?”

“Honey I suspected something back as early as November and I know you have wrestled with this before. I talked to Dr. Kylie and she has visited with your counselor. We agreed, we would wait for you to share. Your Father and I have used the time to learn some things too. Sara, Trudy and Aunt Marti have talked to me, but only Sara and my sister know a little of your past. All I can say for now, is I love you. Your Dad and I are here for you.” It is like nothing has changed and everything has changed.

“Mom, if Aunt Marti is home, would you take the twins there and put them down for a nap?”

During Study Hall, Sandy visits with me as I begin my report. “Melanie, Trudy told me how you were in the labor and delivery room. Sharon and I were happy that we could be there at the hospital with your sister. It is kind of funny that a boy helps us to appreciate being young women.”

“You know Sandy, I thought I was being goofy in doing this stuff, but having friends like you, Trudy and then Sharon made things a lot easier for me.” I’m now fighting tears, “When you and Sharon came into visit I was deeply moved and thankful for all the time I’ve had being Melanie?”

Sandy asks, “Do you think, it is going to be easy going back to Melvin?”

“What kind of a question is that?” Sandy takes away my tablet, “I think you know what I am asking? We have another TG student, so it’s not like if you change, it would be totally new.”

“Whether you’re Melanie for two weeks or longer, I would like to go shopping with you for more clothes.” Sharon is coming over to our table, “Does that mean she’s willing to go shopping with us?” Sandy and I both giggle out loud till the teacher tells us to be quiet.

Sandy and Sharon both come to my house after school; they want to stay as I need to nurse the twins again. The three of us have fun with Suzy and Sheri. Suzy is able to walk on her own now and talk saying ‘Mommy’ and more. Aunt Marti invited Sandy and Sharon to stay for pizza, saying, “Trudy is coming over to eat too.”

Marti shows me she has a copy of Mom’s pictures from the babies being born. I tell her, “I don’t want to show or talk about these pictures until we’re alone with Trudy.” After Sandy drove Sharon home, we shared the pictures even though Sandy had come back.

Sandy and I wash two loads of clothes for Aunt Marti. And when we began to talk about the pictures, the discussion quickly changes to Marti and her coming baby. “You know Melanie; you’ve become a valuable helper to your Aunt. The fact she is open to you being there says a lot about you as a niece.”

I try to tell her it’s always been planned this way, but she shushes me. Trudy implies more, “She was being real nice in taking you in but the Lamaze classes and this. She’s confided in me as well as your Mom and Sis. I think your Mom, her sister would have been going in with her. I’m only telling you because you should sense how honored you are.” I didn’t think and now I’ speechless.

The following day, I move Sarai and Allyson in with me; Sandy and I prepare the nursery for Marti’s baby. With Mom’s permission, Sara and I buy a bassinet for in Marti’s room. Late that night I get a text from Uncle Ron. Mom and I are to inform him when the baby has arrived. He will probably be there within a week or two of the baby’s birth, but tells me it is to be a surprise. “I am so happy Mel; you are making this time for Marti so much easier, your consequence has been a blessing for us….

Story to be continued…

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