The Robin and Joey Conspiracy

Steven Collins walked into school Monday morning and got the shock of his life. Everywhere he looked, he saw pink. Well not everywhere, but it looked like half the boys and most of the girls were wearing pink shirts. He kind of wished he’d known about it, he would love to come to school in a pink shirt. He wondered what was going on, and figured he’d have to ask Robin. Robin wasn’t really his friend, but he was about the only person that would voluntarily talk to him.

He headed towards where Robin’s locker was, hoping to find him there. He did, and was a bit surprised to see him wearing a pink shirt too.

“Hey, uh Robin, what’s with the pink shirt?”

Robin turned, “Hey Steve, it’s a fundraiser for Christine Long. Well that and a defense against the Administration doing anything to my sister. Most don’t know that though.”

Steven looked at the shirt as Robin spread his arms out so he could read it. ‘Christine Long is fighting Breast Cancer, and I support her’ it read. As he was reading it, Steven realized that it was a girl’s shirt.

“That’s a girl’s shirt! Aren’t you worried about getting teased like last year?”

“Not really, the entire varsity football team is wearing shirts like this one, and about a third of the rest of the boys, along with a lot of the girls.”

“How’d you manage that?”

“Last week, Amanda was telling me that she overheard the Principal and Superintendent talking about what to do about Joey. While she was telling me, Christine’s sister Lucy came to tell her that Christine would be back in school today. Amanda said that they should do something to welcome her back. That gave me the idea of the shirts, and if I could get enough of the boys to wear a girl’s shirts, the Administration couldn’t really do anything to Joey.”

“That makes sense. But how’d you get the football team to wear a pink girl’s shirt?”

“Christine’s boyfriend is on the team, and it turns out that John, the quarterback’s, grandmother died from breast cancer and he was very close to her. His shirt says something like ‘My Grandmother died from breast cancer and I miss her.’ There are a few other variations of what kids are wearing, friends or relatives that either have, died from or beat breast cancer.”

“I wish I’d known about this, I would lo…, have gotten one to wear.”

“You can get one for next week Steve, we’re going to do this every Monday this month, which is also breast cancer awareness month. “

Steve looked up at the clock, “Shit, gotta get to class. I’ll see ya later Robin.”

“Later Steve,” Robin said and headed off to his own class mentally kicking himself for not telling Steve about the shirts. He knew that Steve would give just about anything to be able to come school wearing girl’s clothes.

*****

When Steve got home after school his mom asked him the usual question, “So are you going to change?”

Steve, “In a minute, I want to ask you something. Is there anyone in the family that died from breast cancer?”

Steve’s mom was surprised by the question, “Um, I’m not sure. I think my grandmother might have. Why?”

“Well, have you heard about Christine Long?” After his mom nodded, he continued, “Well she’s back in school, and a bunch of the students are raising money for her by wearing shirts.”

“And?” His mom asked after Steve paused.

“I wanted to get one to wear next Monday.”

“Do you even know Christine?”

“No,” Steve said looking around.

His mother stared at him, “I can understand wanting to help her, but if you don’t even know her why would you want to wear a shirt supporting her?”

“Because everyone is wearing girl’s shirts, and I really want to go to school wearing a girl’s shirt. This will probably be the only time I can,” Steve blurted out in a rush.

“Steve, I understand that you want to wear girl’s clothes to school, but do you think it’s a good idea?”

“Mom that’s the great thing, everyone is wearing one. Her boyfriend is on the football team, so the whole team is wearing them. No one will tease or bother me for wearing it.”

“If you’re sure, I’ll ask my mom and we can go get a shirt later this week. Now go change.”

“Thanks mom,” Steve said as he ran up the stairs to his room. Thirty minutes later he came back down stairs wearing a flower print dress and flats. His longish hair was up in a high pony tail, as opposed to low one he normally wore it in at school.

His mom looked up when she heard steps on the stairs, “Good afternoon Stephanie, how are you?”

“I feel a lot better now that I’ve changed,” she said with a smile on her face.

Her mom smiled back, “You get working on your homework, while I start dinner. Your father should be home soon.”

With a little flourish, Stephanie picked up Steven’s backpack and went into the den to work on her homework. She’d been working on her homework for about half an hour when she surprised by the doorbell ringing. Her heart fluttered for a moment, then she remembered that no one ever came looking for her, or for Steve.

Stephanie listened as his mom answered the door. “Hi, can I help you?” She heard her mom ask.
The voice that answered was muffled, but she thought she heard someone asking for Steve. She got up and walked over near the den’s door to hear better.

“I’m sorry but Steve isn’t home right now. May I ask whom I should say stopped by?”

“Oh, sorry. I’m Robin, and this is my sister Joey,” Robin said.

“Robin? You’re the boy that gave…” Stephanie’s mom’s voice trailed off as she wondered if she had said too much.

“Yes, I am that boy. Could you tell Steve that we stopped by and we need to talk to him?”

“Sure, I’ll have him call…” she started to answer him, but was cut off as Stephanie entered the room.

“Mom, it’s OK. Invite them in,” Stephanie said.

Stephanie’s mom jerked and looked over at Stephanie, “Are you sure honey?” Stephanie nodded and her mom turned back to Robin and Joey.

“Uh, please come in.”

Robin looked at Joey with a puzzled look, which she mirrored.

“Thank you,” he said as they entered. Robin let Joey precede him into the house and nearly ran her over when she stopped suddenly.

“Hey.”

Joey twisted her head back, “Sorry,” and finished entering the room. Robin looked up, “Oh! Steve?”

Stephanie blushed a little, “I prefer Stephanie.”

They all sat down, and Stephanie said, “I think this is the first time since I was seven or eight that any school mates came to visit me.”

Mrs. Collins looked closely at Joey and Robin,

“So what brings you two over to visit?”

“Well this morning I got to thinking. I mean I knew about Steve, er Stephanie. Well I didn’t actually know about Stephanie, but…”

Joey interrupted her brother, “What my brother is trying to say, and failing at, is that we were talking about Steve and an idea came into our heads, so we came over to see if you would be willing or wanting to do it. From looking at you, wanting seems to be true, willing I guess is the question.” She took a deep breath and continued,

“Stephanie, will you go to the Homecoming Dance with me?”

Stephanie looked shocked. “Uh, I don’t want any pity…”

Robin interrupted, “It’s not pity. Wait hear me out. I’ve known for a while that you like to wear girl’s clothes, and until a little while ago I hadn’t told anyone. When Joey and I were talking the dance came up, and since they schedule Homecoming for Halloween and it’s both an open dance and costumes are allowed. We figured that you two could together. Joey in a guy’s costume and you in a girl’s.”

Joey jumped in, “I’ll get the tickets for me and a guest, and no one, but us, will know that you are the ‘girl.’”

Stephanie said, “That’s an interesting idea, but despite being the least popular kid at school, they do know what I look like, and I’m sure that someone will recognize me.”

“We have a solution for that too, well maybe. You two could go as a Bride and Groom, the veil will cover your face, and maybe a wig with a different hair color.”

Mrs. Collins almost squealed in delight, “Stephanie, I still have my wedding dress, and you are not that much different in sizes than I was when I got married. It even is designed to be worn with a full veil.”

“Mom, I can’t wear your wedding dress…”

“Stephanie, you certainly can. I wanted a daughter to hand it down to, but you’re just as good. Excuse me kids, I’ll be right back.” With that she got up and went into the kitchen.

“Um, Joey if I agreed what would you wear?” Stephanie asked.

“I’d probably rent a tux, if I can find one inexpensive enough.”

Stephanie turned to Robin, “I’m surprised you don’t own one.”

Robin’s face turned a little pink, “I want one, but my parents said no, at least until I stop growing. Of course I’d have to figure out a way to keep my sister from wearing it.” He looked at Joey and stuck out his tongue.

Joey said, “I know I promised not to wear your stuff anymore, but if you get a tux, I might break that promise.”

“You know Joey, I envy you. You get to do what I want to do every day, everywhere. I get to dress like this at home, but I would love to go to school like this.” Stephanie gestured down at her dress.

Mrs. Collins returned, “Stephanie, your Aunt Mary is on her way over. I figure we can use her help.”

The four of the sat around chatting waiting for Stephanie’s Aunt Mary to get home, when Mr. Collins arrived. He entered the house and stopped short when he saw them sitting there,

“Hello. Uh, Stephanie is this a good idea?”

“Hi Daddy, these are my friends, Robin and Joey.”

Mr. Collins looked at them, and addressed Robin, “Hello Joey, it’s nice to meet you.” Before he could turn to Joey, Robin interrupted.

“Hello Mr. Collins, I’m Robin, and this is my sister Joey.”

Joey snickered as Mr. Collins corrected himself, “Sorry Robin, I just assumed…”

“Yeah we get that a lot. If Joey would just go by Josephine, then we wouldn’t have this problem.”

They brought Mr. Collins up to speed just in time for Aunt Mary to show up. She walked in and was surprised when she saw Robin and Joey.
“Hello. Joey I haven’t seen you for a while.”

“Hi Ms. Cavendish, I didn’t know you were Stephanie’s Aunt.”

Mary asked, “So what exactly did you need my help for?”

They brought her up to speed, bringing her to tears.

“You two are great. Stephanie, I will make you the most beautiful bride ever, and Joey, I can style your hair in a more masculine style too.”

After some further discussions, Mrs. Collins brought up the biggest problem,

“We need someone discrete to alter the dress to fit Stephanie. I really don’t want it going around town that she is going to the dance.”

Everyone nodded, and Mary smiled, “Don’t worry Liz, I know some people that are very good at altering dresses, and know how to be discrete.”

A knowing nod was exchanged by everyone but Joey and Robin, they had blank looks on their faces.

“So what are your parents going to say about this,” Mrs. Collins finally asked.
Robin and Joey looked at each other,

“Um, we aren’t really sure. I’m sure that they won’t have a problem, after all they went out and bought Joey all these boy’s clothes. Once we explain, they shouldn’t have a problem.”

Mrs. Collins nodded, “If they do have a problem, have them call me and I will talk to them. Now Joey If you want to rent a tux, we will pay half of the rental fee.” Joey opened her mouth to object, and Mrs. Collins continued,

“You shush. This isn’t going to cost Stephanie or us anything for her costume, so we can at least help out with yours.”

“Yes ma’am,” Joey said meekly.

Mrs. Collins turned to Robin, “So are you going to the dance?”

“Hopefully, I have to ask Amanda tomorrow.”

“So are you going in costume?”

Robin shook his head, “Unless Amanda wants to, I won’t be.”

*****

The following Monday, Robin hung out by the main entrance waiting to see if Steve had gotten a shirt to wear. When Steve entered, Robin saw the pink shirt, actually he saw a lot of pink shirts. It seemed like half the school were wearing the shirts, even some of the staff and teachers were wearing them. A couple of the staff had “I am fighting,” or “I beat” breast cancer on their shirts.

Steve though, Robin couldn’t decide what was different, but something was different. As Steve got closer, Robin called out,

“Hey Steve.”

Steve turned, and headed over to Robin, “Hi, how’s it going?”

Robin gestured at the students, “It’s going well. My idea seems to be a success. Although I think that I am going to let Amanda and Lucy get the credit.”

Steve’s voice got softer, “Well I for one am glad you came up for the idea. I know it’s just a shirt, and not much different than a guy’s, but it seems right.”

As they headed off into the school, Joey looked around, “I never dreamed that this many people, especially the guys, would be willing to wear these pink shirts. I think that all the jocks are wearing one this week, well one of the soccer players has a light blue shirt. His uncle died from breast cancer.”

Steve turned, “I didn’t know that guys could get breast cancer.”

Joey shook his head, “Neither did I, but we can, and there are a bunch of kids wearing blue shirts with their male relatives and friends that have it.”

“There’s more people than you know wearing these shirts. When I went to get mine, there were a couple of little kids and their parents getting shirts. Heck, Mr. Sapristos had one hanging in the window, he said he was going to wear it today.”

*****

The night of the dance, Mrs. Daniels drove Robin to pick up Amanda, and Mr. Daniels drove Joey to pick up Stephanie. Robin and Amanda weren’t wearing costumes, and Amanda had put her foot down about him wearing a suit. He had really wanted to dress up.

Joey looked dashing in her tux, the rental company had done a great job minimizing her female shape. She was curious though, she hadn’t seen Stephanie’s bridal gown. They told her that the groom wasn’t supposed to see the bride before the wedding. She pouted a little, but accepted the excuse.

At Stephanie’s, Joey and Mr. Daniels, went up and rang the bell. In the living room, they looked around and didn’t see Stephanie anywhere. Mrs. Collins hit a button on her remote, and The Wedding March started to play. From another room Aunt Mary slowly walked out carrying a bouquet of flowers, followed by Stephanie and Mr. Collins.

Both Joey’s and Mr. Daniels’ jaws dropped as they saw Stephanie. Mr. Collins escorted Stephanie up to Joey and handed her off as he would have in a wedding. Aunt Mary stepped over to Mr. Daniels and whispered that she always wanted to be a flower girl. Then she handed the flowers to Stephanie.

Joey took hold of Stephanie’s hand and said, “When we saw you the other day, you were prettier than I expected, but now… You’re beautiful.”

Stephanie looked back at Joey, “Thank you. You’re looking handsome yourself. Do you think anyone will recognize me?”

“No, if I didn’t know better, I would think that Steve was upstairs hiding, and you are some girl from another school.”

Mr. Daniels looked at Stephanie, “Stephanie, Joey isn’t exaggerating. You are beautiful. I’ll admit that I was skeptical when Joey and Robin brought this up, but I am pleased that I was wrong.”

Mr. and Mrs. Collins smiled and stepped back to look at the couple, when Aunt Mary declared,

“It’s time for pictures.”

After much time was spent taking pictures, Mr. Daniels brought up that they needed to leave if they actually wanted to go to the dance. After some last hugs, they finally left for the dance. At the dance, Mr. Daniels gave the two of them some last instructions, including to call if they needed anything.

Entering the gym, the two of them got a round of applause, a tradition for everyone coming in costume. In their case the applause lasted longer than most. Walking around, looking for Robin and Amanda, they saw that maybe a third of the students and most of the chaperones were in costume. Tigers were popular, that being the school mascot, as were vampires, superheroes, and the stars of Duck Dynasty.

They found Robin and Amanda eventually, receiving complements from nearly everyone as they walked around. Robin gave Stephanie a hug and told her how beautiful she was. Amanda looked at Joey and then at Stephanie, looking her up and down before finally saying, “OK. I can’t tell, are you a boy or a girl?”

Stephanie smiled and said, “I’ll never tell.”

Amanda took one last look, “Either way, you make a beautiful bride.” Then to Robin, “Can we dance now?”

“Sure, but now you know why I wanted to wait for Joey and Stephanie.”

The four of them made their way out to dance, spending much of the night dancing. Stephanie was popular, with many of the guys asking if she would dance with them. Some she did, some she didn’t.

About halfway through the dance, Christine Long and her boyfriend found Robin and Amanda. Christine went up to Robin, “I want to thank for the shirts.” She then leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Her boyfriend glared for a second, before grinning.

“I want to thank you too. It was great to see everyone supporting Chris. I think it helped her too.” He

Christine gave Amanda a hug, “I’m getting tired, so we are going home now. Tell your sister and her date that I hope they win the costume contest.”

As was tradition just before the last dance, the costume winners were announced. The Principal walked up to the podium and got everyone’s attention.

“A little quiet please. After we announce the costume winners, there will be one more dance. Then the night is over.” There was a little booing at this, but nothing to upset the Principal.

“First we will announce the solo costumes. In third place, Uncle Si. All five of them.” There were laughs amongst the applause as the five bearded students made their way up. They took a synchronized bow to the audience and wandered off.

“In second, the Thing with Two Heads. Yes, it is solo costumes, but there is only one costume even if there are two bodies in it.” There was a good round of applause for the twin brothers that made their way, without much difficulty to the podium.

“And first place goes to the Cyberman.” The Principal sighed, “I think I prefer the old Cybermen.”

The ‘Cyberman’ turned and looked at the Principal with a blank face. “Never mind,” the Principal said. “Congratulations.”

The ‘Cyberman’ turned to his audience and raised his triumphantly. Most of the audience applauded, but one kid in the back was heard to mumble, I have a Dalek costume at home, but couldn’t get it here.

The principal turned back to the students, “And now for the couples and groups.” There was a bit of cheering. “In third place, the Avengers.” The eight students walked up, there was both a Bruce Banner and a Hulk. Hulk even cut in on Bruce during one dance. They received a good round of applause.

“In second place,” the Principal continued once the applause died down, “uh, ‘Mommy and her babies.’” The Principal had a confused look on his face until three students walked up, one in a dress that looked like it came from a ‘60s sitcom carrying a diaper bag, and two boys wearing what appeared to be shortalls, complete with snaps at the crotch and pacifiers clipped to them. Their waists were puffed out enough that it looked like they were wearing a diaper. But they wouldn’t say one way or another.

After another round of applause, the Principal finished, “And first place goes to…” a dramatic pause, “The lovely Bride and Groom.” As Joey and Stephanie made their way up to the front there was extremely loud clapping and pounding.

Once up there the Principal asked, “So Joey are you going to say who your date is?”

Joey smiled, “It’s just a friend from out of town, but she is in high school.”

The principal smiled back, “I can see that, but... Well you can keep your secret.” He turned to the students, “Ladies and gentlemen your best costume couple.”

The students all started clapping again, and amongst the clapping there were calls for Joey to kiss the Bride. Joey looked up at the Principal, who shrugged. Joey turned back to Stephanie, who nodded, and she carefully lifted the veil and kissed Stephanie. The applause got louder and include hoots and catcalls. Everyone knew Joey was a girl, and no one guessed that Stephanie wasn’t.

When the final dance started, a slow dance, the students all left the center of dance floor open for Joey and Stephanie. As the dance continued, some of the dancers would move over to them and congratulate them on winning the contest.

After the dance was over, the students began to make their way out to their cars or to find their parents that were picking them up. Mrs. Daniels wave to her kids and their dates.

“I figured it would be easier if I just gave everyone a ride home. We can drop Amanda off, and then take Stephanie home.” The kids all agreed with this.

During the ride home Amanda started talking, “Joey, I realize that you probably don’t want to go shopping with me and my friends, but you really need to bring Stephanie shopping with us.”

She looked over at Robin, “You aren’t invited.”

Joey looked surprised, “Uh, I might be willing to join you sometime, but…”

Before she could finish, Stephanie cut in. “I’d love to join you, but I would have to ask my parents. Since we don’t live here. I’m not sure if it would work.”

The kids continued chatting until they got to Amanda’s house, where Robin escorted her up to the front steps. He was just giving her a goodnight kiss when the door popped open.

“What do you think you are doing?” Amanda’s dad roared, then laughingly continued, “Just kidding. Did you have a good night?”

Amanda reached over and punched her dad on the arm, “It was a great night and Robin was the perfect gentleman.”

Robin recovered from his surprise, “It was wonderful, and your daughter is a great person. But know I think I need to change my shorts.”

Amanda and her father both gave him a disgusted look and he looked back, “I’m kidding.”

After a last hug and handshake, Robin headed back to his mom’s minivan. “Gah, he almost made me wet myself.” Robin explained about Amanda’s father surprising them.

At Stephanie’s house, Joey escorted Stephanie up to the door and was giving her a goodnight kiss when the door opened, and Stephanie’s dad smiled down at them. He waved for Robin and Mrs. Daniels to come in. Inside, Stephanie’s parents and Aunt and Uncle thanked both Joey, Robin and their mom for taking Stephanie to the dance and allowing it. Stephanie gave both Joey and Robin tremendous hugs and broke down into tears of joy from the dance.

On the way home, Robin and Joey talked about what they had done, and decided that this was one of the best things that had done so far in their lives. Their mom agreed.