Never, Never-Land.

There are times when the world is full of idiots and just a bunch of damned suckiness. Guys treat girls like crap and frankly they do the same. It doesn’t look like it a whole lot of the time but it’s there a whole lot more than I like.

Guys women aren’t whores. No means no and no fucking pictures after sex, no being a douche hole and sharing those to every other asshole on your friends list.

Girls…a guy’s not a status symbol period. Yeah hot’s good, a nice car is too and that’s fine but he’s not you’re ticket to the top of whatever imaginary pecking order you think matters. It doesn’t.

Why don’t people actually tell these assholes over and over on both sides of things that?

Hey you! Yeah you popular user shits!

You’re just another soulless media shitcopy, you get to college and you’re just another face and there’s a hundred more like you!

They need to tell them to maybe be a decent person over the bullshit the revere now.

Bitter?
Me?
LOL just a little.

I sigh and head home after practice.

Cheerleading, yay fucking me.

They were being extremely vapid and bitchy today and it’s been driving me nuts. My life’s been driving me nuts.

Alex’s been home a month and it’s been the best time of my life. He came home and I left a popular kids party and went off with him and his army buddies and I went from being Petra.

To….

Yeah hey guys it’s me Peter.

I think there’s some people wondering what’s going on with me. I don’t know honestly…I’ve been hanging with Alex even as Petra way more and his guys too. I’ve been working out with them pretty hard too sometimes and I’m getting kinda good at it.

I thought there for awhile that I’d gone like lesbian after the girl in the strip club “Blew” me.

The thing is as me I’m not really into girls. I’m not a lesbian I’m pretty sure that I figured that out about myself and I’m not transgendered. I don’t want to be a guy, not all the time. But I do love being Peter.

Honestly I was for a week just so enamored of pussy and the thoughts of it I forgot even being a girl that all that, the boobs and the hair and the rest comes up with some pretty effed up people.

Like most of my cheer squad.

I could be a dude with a footlong slong and a case of blueballs and I still wouldn’t be with any of them. The advantage of being me I guess, I mean I think that lesbians get that sort of thing were they’re into some girl they like and they forget or forgive that stuff that drives me nuts about women.

No I don’t hate them, they are still my friends and stuff…but you don’t have to like your friends all the time.

I’m different now.

I walked over the gender line and I loved it.

And that means everything’s different.

Like the fact I’m not cruising with my BF whatsoever.

Yep Scott and I are done.

And I didn’t hide why either. He fucked around with me and with Alicia Porter and wanted me to gangbang like she did with him and some of his buddies.

He’s super pissed at me too because when I hit him that night I gave him a really good bloody nose and he couldn’t hide it or deny it.

I still like guys just fine.

Actually the best encounter I had since that was with Alex.

No we didn’t we’re sibs but we went to Broadhead lake it’s kind of out of the way and one of his service buddies called Conway was really decent to me. He got me drunk but not too drunk and didn’t wait on me like a little princess. Instead he asked if I wanted a beer every time he went for one too and just talked to me about stuff in general.

A bunch of us were drunk enough we went skinny dipping and after that CW and I ended up in bed together. It was really great sex and I enjoyed the hell out of it and I was with Alex…so the best part was the fact that he gave me a beer when we were done and we clinked bottles and there was none of that slut shaming bullshit.

I got laid and so did CW and after that and a powernap we went back to the party and we had some more to drink and we ended up cooking some of the best steaks I can remember at like three in the morning.

So no, not a lesbian definitely.

I’m Peter as much as I’m Petra these days or at least part time.

And it's still pretty much a big secret here. I mean I live in a small town and there’s not this small town thing against gays or lesbians with like hate crimes and stuff but gays are still well gay…in that bad sense of things and a lesbian is a dyke.

But what I am?

No how and no way will that be accepted.

Never.

I’m Peter and I live in Never-Never Land.

……………………………………. School and then for me Cheer practice lets out and I get onto my mountain bike and I drive home all fourteen miles. That has people wondering. But I don’t have a set of wheels of my own yet and I’m not traveling with the girls either. I have stuff to do at home especially with the economy the way it is here. Dad had to lay off two guys and he didn’t want to but he had to.

Honestly I usually don’t want to. Not like they’ve been lately and so far they’re buying the I want to keep the weight off excuse for me biking but they’re the popular girls and I was or am one too but since hanging with my brother and his friends going to the mall or just hanging around where we can be seen by guys and chatted up.

I’d rather be helping out where I’m needed and just distress in my own way.

That’s part of it but another part of my biking is Alex. He runs every morning and I go too. The bike is about catching up with him and him not leaving me in the dust and panting all the time. I kind of want him to respect me as much as he loves me.

I left it today fed up with the giggles and who’s sucking who and what guy’s buying them what or taking them where because of it. I can normally just tune out the girl talk but today it just grated. Honestly there are times when their attitudes towards guys leaves me just…grr.

Yeah, I’m bitchy when my period gets here.

Horny too but lately like I kinda said since the whole thing with the guys started. Me and sex has changed.

I push it getting home and I get changed into some jeans and some work clothes and work boots and go do some of the chores.

I’m working harder too, I’m really starting to not like the whole you’re a girl or I’m a girl and we don’t do the heavy lifting stuff.

My cousins, my female cousins are like that. They leave the heavy stuff to the guys.

I don’t want to be that girl.

So I head off to the feed shed and pull the mule around. That’s like a 4-Wheeeed ATV with a little flatbed in the back and kinda a golf cart frame. I back it in and I start filing buckets from the silo tubes. Feed for the animals and in forty gallon buckets at a time and I fill the back with them a full dozen buckets and I take them around myself.

We have a lot of livestock here mostly for our own use and some to sell but we mostly raise beef. I’ve been starting to take care of the goats and the sheep and our pigs plus my old job of feeding the poultry too. We keep chickens for meat and eggs and a few turkeys too.

Dad’s impressed that I freed up some other guys to do stuff with the cattle by taking this on. It’s dirty and heavy with two trips and then cleaning their areas up and stuff where it’s needed like the goat barn. It’s a help I guess in a big way and honestly I think my parents are kind of relieved that I’m not spending all my time with the girls like I used to.

But I don’t mind, the money’s gotten better and I need the money. I need to pay Alex back.

He loaned me a lot of money in the last month.

Buying the right clothes and a couple of binders and stuff isn’t cheap. And why am I buying a binder? I want a better look for when I’m Peter.

Yeah, I’m still getting things down on being Peter.

After that night out I’m still my brother’s sister and I love him like a sister does but there are times I want out. Out of my life and the whole being a girl thing and just to be able to breathe and yet still be me.

So that’s why once my chores are done I take the mule and I head over to Alex’s house and I go and get a shower. The very first thing while I’m getting cleaned up is that I grab some of my adidas shower gel and I wash the scent of guy sort of onto me.

Then it’s my clothes in the washer and I go to my room.

Peter’s room. My folks don’t know and they really don’t come over here that much just mom once in awhile just to take a look and make sure that Alex isn’t living in like bachelor filth.

She doesn’t seem to get that Alex was in the forces, is in the forces but he’s on leave for awhile and came home but he’ll be back on duty at CFB Petiwawa soon but he’ll still drive home on like weekends and stuff.

So basically only Alex and his friends know about Peter.

I get inside and get my binder and settle into it, it’s like a bra but not it’s more of a really wide band and mine has these indents for my breasts to sort of get a better fit and then it’s built to taper and look like it’s pretty close to my skin so it doesn’t show under my shirts. I tighten it with Velcro actually when the tightness is right.

I slip on a black t-shirt a Jack Daniels whisky shirt that I got at a thrift store in town and then I get my package. This thing cost the most actually it’s a thong latex number and it has two silicone balls and a penis, its semi erect or more like hanging proud and it has a crotch cup in it with a flexible plastic tube. Kinda like a she-wee but softer plastic and yeah it gives me the whole ability to pee standing up.

I don’t have like envy or anything but there’s something totally satisfying about being able to do that. Not today or for a couple of days because I’m having the monthly bill so I’ll be going to the bathroom the usual way. In fact the fact that I have to slip a slim-pad in there just so I don’t mess with my stuff with my girl stuff.

But still once I’m done I look like a guy…well the thong and the latex doesn’t match my skin and I can tell the difference but after I slip into a pair of briefs and get adjusted. I look like a skinny guy, but still a guy. The T-shirt’s baggy enough that it sort of hides that girl waist.

I grab a baggy set of grey cargo shorts and my belt and then…then I’m done. Hell even getting into my prosthetic and my binder it still took about half the time it takes for me to get seriously ready as a girl.

I shove some socks on and I head out to the house and I go into the kitchen and I start some supper. I take some hamburger/ground beef out of the fridge and some bacon and I peel off five strips and take a knife and just cut the bacon into chunks and toss it in the frying pan. I take some powdered gravy and some Montreal steak spice and shake some of that into it and then the crisped up bacon goes into the rest of it and I give it a shot of soy sauce and mix it all together and make patties out of it.

I fry them up and mine gets a slice of raw onion since I don’t have to worry about my breath and I put all the fixings on too and I’m not skimping either.

I make up a pot of Kraft dinner too (Mac ‘n cheese.) and I leave some for Alex and I head into the living room and I turn on the TV.

I channel surf but it’s mostly for just while I’m eating and I watch some sports. I’m a cheerleader and yeah while when I started it I was in it for being like girl popular and stuff like most girls that do it really but actually and I will say this on behalf of most cheerleaders we do become fans of the game.

I don’t watch a lot of CFL really I’m not a fan of the teams but I will root for Hamilton when I see them play and I sort of follow things for the Grey Cup and the Vanier Cup but I like hockey and I actually like boxing because Alex is into it and he’s been showing me some of what he knows and I follow some of the other stuff just because I’d like to know stuff.

In the end I settle on watching re-runs of Holmes on Homes as I’m eating. I think I want to take shop next year and freak everyone out. Honestly I want to know this stuff too.

“Hey Pete.” Alex says as he’s coming inside and shedding clothes.

“Hey.”

He goes and showers and comes out in just basketball trunks and goes and gets his supper and we eat and we talk about the stuff on the show. It is a good show really and it’s “why you get in right the first time.”

That’s a catch phrase from the show.

“Thinking about doing some of that.”

“Some of what?”

“Fixing up the place.”

“I could help.”

“Kinda counting on it actually.”

“Done son...” I grin and we fist bump each other.

The rest of the night was watching TV and some Call of duty as Alex explained his ideas for the stuff he wanted to do to the house which was mostly restoring it and putting in a back deck for it and a fence for the back yard.

*Three days later............

It’s the weekend and I’m excited because I’ll be having some Peter time. We have a game tonight and I stay in town since there’s not a whole lot of point really between classes and then rehearsal/practice and then getting some supper and being ready for the game.

I’m with Mandy Collins and the girls just over town after practice and we’re getting supper at Wendy’s and I’m going with a salad like the others but I get one of the chicken burgers to go with it and she’s looking at me.

“What’s up?”

“You’re not going to give Scotty another chance?”

“Hell no he wanted a gangbang me and him and some friends of his.”

“He’s a guy, he said he was kidding.”

“I know guys and the look on his face…no he wasn’t kidding.”

“But the end of the year is coming up who are you gonna go to prom with?”

“Heck if I know? I might not go at all or I might go stag.”

She gets this look in her eyes of juicy gossip. I guess it would be in a way. I mean I’m sort of popular and I am a cheerleader so there’s that but there’s also this thing that girls have. Or a lot of girls have and that’s this whole thing where they just seem to not just compete with each other but they actually seem to like having something over on each other.

The thing is honestly I have friends like this, like her and that’s kind of the extent of it and Mandy and the other girls aren’t like super bitches or anything they’re just I don’t know…hooked on the drama.

It’s like me not having a prom date is such a big deal to them. Because it’s me and I’m one of them and it’s like something that is like this whole “thing” to them that I don’t.

Man…no wonder I like being a guy when I can. When they’re all about the drama like this and who’s wearing what and stuff. No seriously I like clothes and all the standard kind of girl stuff but I don’t make it a mission of mine to have someone buy me stuff that’s like way past name brand stuff. I mean there is no way that I’d ever want a pair of three hundred dollar shoes.

Hanging out with my brother and his friends there is no drama, no bullshit and they don’t talk through stuff like a movie. Or what really drives me nuts…overanalyzing stuff. I can’t say it’s like all girls and hell I know I’ve done it too but we…girls can overanalyze something like a dog worrying over a bone.

Guys don’t generally do that and I really am trying to get there myself.

“Go stag?” She says it like I just said that I’m going naked.

“Yeah, I know that there’s a lot of guys that are going to do that.”

“H’yeah like losers.”

She looks over to one of the tables where some of the local “geek-squad” are at and okay some of them are overweight, some are like really skinny and not that athletic, some…well you get the picture they’re the school geeks and they’re eating and they’re playing some card game with a really into it excitement.

Mandy and now just them have this look on their faces that is like they took a drink of like chocolate milk only to find that it got sour.

I…

I can sort of Peter myself into their shoes. And watching them I see one of them at least look our way and see the looks the girls were giving them and there’s that head down and go back more intensely to the card game.

“They’re not that bad.”

Becky Truman goes. “Eww..”

Simone makes the finger down her throat gesture.

Mandy smirks. “No, they are that bad and hey if they get like all smart and stuff and end up with like good money and stuff later in life cool that’s when I’ll date one but I mean c’mon…really. What you’re going to dance with those guys even if they had the guts to show up?”

I shake my head. “You guys suck. You know why all the movies have stuff with the popular girls being bitches?.....That’s because you’re being bitches.”

There’s some mouths open and Mandy looks like she didn’t like that and I take my tray and I get up and I walk over to the other side of the restaurant where these guys are at and I cough a little once I’m over there.

Shit they’re blinking at me like a bunch of baby owls.

“Hey guys.”

More owlish stares.

The one that noticed us, well Mandy and them earlier. He looks at me and asks. “Uhm…can we help you?”

“Uhm…I was wondering if I could join you guys.”

He looks at me, well they’re all looking at me but he’s looking me up and down and yeah I’m in my cheer uniform.

“Why? You looking for some dirt for the jocks or the bitch brigade to make fun of?”

“No, actually I cam over because they’re being a bunch of snooty bitches and I didn’t like the way that they were just assuming stuff about you guys.”

He looks at me again. “Really? Okay have a seat.”

I take a seat opposite him and grab my burger and unwrap it and take a bite. “Wadda you guys playin?” Yes I’m talking around a mouthful.

One of them says. “Magic the gathering.”

“That’s the one with the different colored deck with like powers and spells and creatures that are like tuned to like the colors alignments?”

They stop and stare at me.

The kid who told me is smiling and blushing. “You..you never played I take it.”

“Nope but I saw a bunch of stuff on it online in one of the ads for something they had coming out. I think it was when I was looking at the Mysts of expansion for World of Warcraft.”

The skeptical one looks at me. “You play Warcraft?”

“Nope but it’s interesting but I do play Diablo now and then. But I’m more of a videogame girl.”

“Videogames like what?” I think he’s testing me.

“Halo3, Call of Duty, Heavy Gear but I like some of the older stuff.”

“Like?” Yeah he’s testing me.

“Streetfighter actually and Tekken. I kick my brother’s ass playing those all the time.”

“Who’s your favorite fighters?”

“Streetfighter I use Ryu almost all the time or sometimes Zangief.”

“Zangief?”

“Hey using the big Rush is fun.”

I’m getting some more looks and they seem to be calming down and playing again.

“And Tekken?”

“Yoshimitsu the whole way, I like being able to use a sword.”

He nods and he looks like he’s trying to think of another question for me to like trip me up or something and he’s failing. Me I let it slide. He’s got a right to defend himself because honestly whet he was thinking I’m here for isn’t out of the real of possibility.

I watch the game trying to figure out how to play without asking a bunch of questions and interrupting the flow.

The whole bit of me doing that and not being a chatterbox is again getting me some looks.

I see the girls leave and they do it pretty quickly like they’re pissed enough to ditch me.

“They’re ditching you?” Mr. suspicious says.

“Looks like.”

“So why are you over here, like the fight or whatever?”

“I broke up with Scott.”

He nods. “We know, did you really break his nose?”

“No, just bloodied it really good. Scott wanted me to be a gangbang girl for him and his dickhead friends and I said fuck you and bailed. They wanted to know if I was going to take him back before prom and I told them that I might go stag.”

He smiles and takes a drink of his frostie. “Well it’s easier when you’re you.”

“Bullshit because they’re looking for a reason to be drama queens and all we’re better than you.”

“I know, they shove it down our throats all the time.”

“Yeah well I’m trying to not be like them anymore.”

“Anymore?”

“My big brother came back from being deployed in one piece and we’ve been talking and hanging out since and sometimes with his friends and stuff and I just can’t help but see high school bullshit now as high school bullshit.”

He nods. “Only it’s not bullshit when you’re buried over your head in it.”

One of the others says to him. “Chris…shit man enough.”

I hold my hand up. “No, he’s right I don’t get it, hell I probably shoveled my own fair share onto the pile but I want to change.”

Chris looks at me. “So you’re going to quit cheerleading?”

“I wasn’t planning on it; it does look good on my transcripts.”

“They won’t like you bucking the herd.”

“Tough titty, I’m my own man.”

There were some odd looks and a few nervous laughs. Chris looks at me some more. “Okay so can I give you a lift to the game?”

“Thanks it’d save calling a cab.”

He gets up and I bus my tray and leave with him saying. “Thanks guys see you later.” And I go out to Chris’s jetta and he drives me back to the school. He leaves the car running and I don’t blame him since there are some of the squad there watching or rather waiting for me and two of the football players.

I offer him my hand. “Thanks Chris.”

“Yeah I gotta go or I’ll be late for work.”

We shake hands and he looks bemused and stuff and I get out and walk towards the others and Simone looks at me. “So like what was that about?”

“What? Like I said you girl were being mean to them and stuck up.”

“Petra, we didn’t mean to be like really mean it’s just they’re….”

“People Simone just like the rest of us.”

“Noooo…they’re like all weird.”

I laugh. “Oh like you or me is anything like the way we look right now first thing in the morning.”

“Petra!”

The football guys look confused and amused like they’re missing out on what happened but find the argument funny. Henry of the defensemen looks at me. “You okay though, the girls said you might show up with one of them.”

“Hank, they’re okay guys.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, look you’re good at stuff right, well so are they and it’s not the same stuff as what you’re into but it doesn’t make it any less cool.”

“But they play with dolls and cards and read comics.”

“They collect action figures and that’s no different than model cars, and games are just plain fun and if they got they’re own way of talking that’s cool for them it’s something that they have and comics…dude did you go see Spiderman in the theater?”

“Yeah…?”

“Those are comic nerds. Just because anyone does stuff we don’t get doesn’t mean that they should be shit on for it.”

“I suppose.”

Simone is looking at me like she’s hearing another language. “What is with you?”

I head inside to meet with the others but I ask her. “What’s with you?”

“There’s nothing with me, you’re the one acting all stupid.”

“Oh I’m not the one being stupid Simone it’s you girls. Honestly…you have the end of this year and summer and then next year before university. There’s not a single one of us getting a cheer scholarship so its student loans and whatever else we can get and you know what?”

We’re caught up with the others now,

“What?”

“Looks fade, and people will see all of us as just another pretty face and we’re not going to be the prettiest ones even once we get there. This is it, the peak of things unless we stop the bullshit and stop being the stereotypes we’ve been acting like and actually to try to be like real people…like everyone else.”

Maybe I have changed…they’re all looking at me like I’m the strange one.

Mandy rolls her eyes. “What-ever jeez Petra just because you can’t like keep your guy doesn’t mean you gotta get all weird and stuff.”

It sort of starts from there the looks all through the game and the other girls saying I’m “Missing the cock.” Yeah, yeah girls saying that about another girl.

Effing grr…

Oh and that me and the geek things is me “slumming.”

Well that got my inner bitch wide awake after the digs and them just refusing to get what I’m talking about. So when I hear Wendy Thomas one of the second stringers talking about me in a whisper to some of the other second stringers… “I bet she dumped Scott to go with someone better, I mean who’s available and like hot for prom?”

I look at them and just a little smile. “I don’t know yet. Do you girls know when the voting starts for prom?”

Yeah I cheer and after that I’m happier but…well they wanted drama, they’re getting drama.

I never said at all that I was running for Prom Queen.

Mandy however looks like she’s taking that “news” like she just used a lemon tampon. Simone and the rest of her entourage are also looking pissed off too. And some of the others too are pissed because all of our stuff was off during the game.

And you know what I don’t really care.

The cheer coach cared and she yelled asking what was going on.

We never said anything, or I didn’t. I just showered and I left and went and got my bike.

Thank god it’s Friday.

I bike home and do the chores and then help mom with supper and it all comes out as we’re cooking. Yeah I ate before the game but Dad and the guys they work late and they don’t usually get to eat until close to seven or eight.

No not me being Peter but what happened at Wendy’s and with the guys and then what happened with the practice and the game.

“Petra…its okay honey I’m proud of you.”

“You are?”

“Definitely honey. I was one of those girls and you’re right when I got through school and went to college it was a really big shock. I wasn’t the person I thought I was. I wasn’t as awesome as I thought I was and my boyfriend broke up with me and went with a girl that was hotter than me and all of that stuff…it took me all of first semester to get over that and into my second year before I got that most people didn’t care about me being pretty and stuff…there’s lots of pretty and it’s really nice to be that if you are but it’s being a nice person and making real friends that has any effect in real life.”

I’m staring at her just kind of drop mouthed. “Mom?”

“I took business thinking to be a secretary and your dad was actually taking his science degree.”

“Dad…science.”

“Yeah, geology actually but his dad died from a heart attack his third year in and his mom was going to lose this place and he had to come home.”

“He never finished?”

“No, I did because my dad and your father insisted on me doing it and I stayed until I got my full degree instead of just my associates degree but after that I came here to run the farm office.”

“I didn’t know.”

“It’s in the past really and it doesn’t matter except for the fact like you’re trying to make. You’re dad wasn’t one of those pretty buff guys and he wasn’t rich but he was real. And when we met I had figured out that just maybe I should try being me instead of who I thought I should be. I met your dad and we fix together like two matching spoons and we’ve been together ever since.”

I nod and take some of the peas from the freezer and put them into some boiling water.

“So does dad still do the science thing?”

“Sure does, there’s a lot of science used in farming kiddo. Just don’t get him going on soil and crops or erosion unless you have a few hours.”

I laugh and help her with desert while the rest of the ham dinner is going. And as much as I like crossing the line…this here with mom was awesome. She even taught me how to make HER strawberry butter cream icing.

The big secret is kind of easy but I’d have never figured it out.

*Saturday morning............

Alex wakes me up with a knock on my bedroom door in the house and we both set out for our early morning run and slowly I’m getting closer to keeping up with him. He actually slows for like the last kilometer so we’re running together.

“I’m going to start the stuff today for the house Peter.”

It’s a little Non-Pete feeling with all my chest bouncing but. “Hey I’m still in if that’s okay.”

“Yeah but me and the guys were planning on it being a weekend thing so they’ll be staying over and some others just to warn you.”

“They know?”

“Just the guys and I don’t think that they told anyone.”

“Hey then it should be cool.”

We leave it at that and I do my chores up and stuff and hit the books way early too getting my homework and stuff done for the week end and completely out of the way so I can go and do what I want to.

I pack a box of food to steal and I tell mom and dad that I’m going over to Alex’s to help out for the week end. They’re actually good with me hanging out with him since he’s actually pretty reliable.

But mom still has the he’s a guy thing and she sends me over not just with the box of stuff that I had gotten but I’m to take the mule over since she’s sending eggs and jam and a bunch of loaves of bread and toilet paper.

Okay, extra bodies I can agree of the toilet paper and stuff so I head over with all of that and he’s not there so I go and get changed and start putting the stuff away when Alex pulls in with Ryan and Nate with a fridge on the back of the truck.

“Hey Peter! C’mon dude give us a hand.” Nate hollers and I help them unload the fridge and we clear out part of the porch to fit it in and then it’s the rest of the morning with me helping put other stuff away as they buy beer to stock in the fridge and hard stuff for the freezer and cases of cans for mix and they fill the inside fridge with ground beef and steaks and chicken and chops and stuff for a big BBQ.

As we’re doing that several other guys and girls arrive too and there’s tents getting set up and some guy named Rick brought these home-made steel drum barbecues I guess he made just for this weekend and by lunch it’s both work and a party.

Rock music and cold drinks and food on the BBQ with charcoal and a lot of military guys and girls and their S.O.’s and others there’s about twenty people here altogether and we’re busy.

It’s fun and I’m just Peter…it’s work too don’t get me wrong there as we dig out the ground for the back porch and we measure it out for like how big Alex wants it and then we put in posts. See the lawn slopes away from the house to the lawn here and we’re building a raised patio and not a deck so we are actually building a box and using rocks that they’re bringing in from Holly river and making concrete and sort of making like a wall with it and having it all filled with river stones so it’ll hopefully look cool.

While it’s drying and curing we drink and party and dance and hang out. I can tell Alex and Nate and Ryan are watching out for me but I’m good…I’ve only had a few beer and I’ve had a couple of hot dogs in between and a really killer perch dog…that Rick guy took heavy tin foil and he put chili pepper and chives and a lot of garlic butter and cooked these perch fillets that way and had a wok lid he was using to cover things when he wanted some more heat or some more smoke on them.

Its stuff like that that I like learning all that guyginuity that they seem to have.

No I’m not saying girls aren’t either but guys just seem to me like they come up with stuff like using a wok lid or making their own grills and stuff.

I’m even taking a turn at one of the grills when one of the girls comes over to me. “Hey, Peter right?”

“Yeah, what’s your pleasure?”

“Can I get a hot dog?”

“Sure you want one right off the grill or one of mine?” And yeah I grinned around the innuendo I just used and she snorted along with it.

“Well what’s so special about yours.” She was playing along and smiling.

“Well Mine…..are grilled but I slice little cuts into them and once their done I stick them in here.” I show het one of those throwaway tin trays you use for a bake sale and stuff like that. I used some chopped bacon and some bbq sauce and some apple cider and set in on the grill and let it sort of steep them.

They sort of get all coated in it as it gets thicker and thicker as it stays on the grill. She looks at it. “I’ll try yours.”

I get her a bun and I counter all that sauce with me spreading dill cream cheese chip dip inside.

“Dill cream cheese?” She asks.

“Yeah you get cheese and pickle to go with everything. You want some mustard?”

“No, that’s okay…”

I finish her hot dog and she takes it and bites into it and she smiles and does that girl yummy face.

Oh…oh okay I’m definitely having a Peter moment as I get hard.

I offer my hand. “You know my name but I don’t know yours.”

“Oh I’m Tiffany Price.”

“Peter King.”

We shake and she smiles. “It’s really nice to meet you Peter; you remind me a lot of Alex.”

“Really?”

“Yeah we served together.”

“Oh cool so what do you do?”

“Radio tech mostly.”

“That’s actually pretty cool I actually haven’t met anyone that wasn’t combat ops yet that Alex knows.”

Nate swings by and makes himself a dog. “Well Tifa here she’s the dulcet tones over the radio calling us home or she’s our amazing angel that plays out the trumpets to call in the Calvary for us.”

“Nate…” She blushes and he kisses her cheek leaving some ketchup and heads off to get a beer and to dance with someone else.

“Sounds like you did a lot of stuff to help them out there.”

She shrugs. “I try…I just I’m professional but when I talk to them coming back from wherever they’re out at and they’re coming back. I just can’t help but be relieved and happy. I just guess they can hear it sometimes in my voice.”

I smile. “Well if I was out there and heard it it’s be very cool to me.”

“Really?”

“Yeah definitely.”

“You wanna dance?”

“Isn’t that my line?”

“So ask me.”

I step from the grill and over to her and smile and take the napkin she had the hot dog in out of her hands and look her in the eyes. “Tiffany would you like to dance?”

She smiles and blushes a little which is really kind of cool. “I’d love to Peter.”

I take her hand and walk with her to the area of the lawn that we’re using to dance and I start to dance with her. It’s actually pretty nice and kind of “strong” feeling to be able to lead.

We go through a few songs before a slow one starts to play and I look at her. “Tiffany, this is really nice.”

“I’m having fun too Peter.”

“I…I’d like to tell you something okay?”

“Okay?”

“I’m not a guy.”

“What?”

“I’m biologically not a man.”

She’s looking at me. We’re still dancing and she is definitely looking like she has questions. “Can I ask why?”

“I tried guy drag once going out with Alex and the guys and it was something that I liked.”

“Guy drag huh, I suppose looking at you now I can sort of see the girl. You don’t act like one though.”

“Practice I guess and honestly I like being Peter.”

“You don’t like being a girl? You’re like what is it they call it…transgendered?”

“No, I like being a girl too it’s just that I like being a guy too. It…I think part of me is honestly a guy at heart but not in the way that wires get crossed and I know that I really am one.”

“That’s different.”

“Bad different?”

“No…just different. Besides, you’re still a pretty good guy from what I can tell.”

“Thanks you know dancing with you really boosts that.”

“Well thanks for being honest y’know. But I boost that feeling?”

“Yeah, flirting with you was really cool and then there’s this and I like dancing with you like this.”

“Me too, you’re a good dancer.”

“Thanks it’s my first time leading actually.”

Tiffany bites her lip and looks at me. “So do I boost anything else?” Okay she’s smiling at me now.

“Oh definitely, you’re beautiful.”

“Thank you….so how does that work?”

“I look at you and I see a beautiful girl pretty much like always.”

“So you’re?”

“Straight.”

“But you said?”

“Peter is straight.”

“Oh…uhm wow.”

I grin and smile at her and adjust my arms to hold her a little better and closer. “Yes, you are definitely wow.”

She blushes a really good blush this time. “Thanks…you’re certainly good for a woman’s ego.”

“Well you’re definitely good for mine I mean you could’ve had a different reaction.”

“Honesty Peter?”

“I’d appreciate it.”

“I’m still really unsure about it and how I feel about knowing it.”

“Hey, that’s cool actually not too long ago I’d be freaked out too if a guy I was dancing with wasn’t a guy.”

“But you are a guy right?”

“Yes, I’m definitely a guy.”

“Okay then.”

We dance awhile longer and then she goes to talk to some other friends and play some lawn darts and I go and help Alex and the guys as we are using the tractor to bring fill in for the patio with the front scoop of the tractor and spend most of our time filling in the box and leveling things down and tamping the dirt down so it’s all packed down.

I do a lot of that and shoveling and stuff and every once in awhile Tiffany is looking my way. When she waves I smile and if my hands are free I wave back and we’re about halfway done when she comes over with a beer.

I crack it and take a cool drink and she’s looking me over.

“Sorry, I guess I’m kinda dirty.”

“No…it’s okay it’s just some of the times I was watching you I was kind of forgetting.”

“Thanks.”

Tiffany shrugs. “I still don’t know what is going on in my head but I’m kinda thinking that it’s okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah…I think I’m good with it.”

“Well that’s cool.”

She shrugs again. “You’re kinda like pretty-guy hot actually.”

“Pretty guy hot?”

She blushes and takes a drink of her drink. “Well you’re beyond clean shaven and you’re kinda slender and stuff like a dancer but…”

“But?”

“You work out don’t you?”

“I’ve been starting with Alex.”

“Uhm…yeah…I could tell.” She’s seriously blushing and she actually face palms. “God I can’t believe I just asked you that do you work out line.”

I chuckle and set down my beer. “Tiffany?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you seeing anyone?”

“Not right now. I’m going back to work soon and I just didn’t want to get into anything serious.”

“So would you be alright then if I kissed you?”

“What?...uhm okay…”

I lean over the wooden wall and hang over it and use my upper body strength to hang on and I kiss her on the lips. It’s long and slow and she tastes like lipstick and vodka lemonade cooler and of something different and softer and very, very yummy as I keep kissing her for a good half a minute.

I break the kiss and hold myself there looking at her. “Wow…that was amazing.”

She blushes right to the roots of her dark brown hair and she’s looking at me then away and then back. “Holy shit Peter….”

“It was okay?” I kind of know it’s okay by her posture and her look, her nipples are so hard and she’s…well I’ve been there when I’m not Peter.

Tiffany’s nodding over and over. “Top five…definitely top five…wow…”

“Well right now you’re my number one.”

“I am?”

“Yep….I should get back to doing this.” Alex just dropped another bucket of fill. “Thanks for the kiss and thank you for bringing me a drink.”

“You’re welcome.”

I sort of lose track of her as we get busy finishing the filling in of the patio and really making sure that it’s tamped down before we cover it with gravel and then concrete we keep pouring from the cement mixer…we have one of those stand up ones here at the farm because it’s really good for doing posts and stuff.

I actually get to run it and make a bunch of loads myself and I learn how to mix and make concrete and that feels good too…I’m tired and sore like the others are too but at the same time. I’ve got that feeling that I’m going to say is that whole “man make fire” thing…it’s really nice to feel that solid about doing something like this.

Rick is the guy though that finishes it off and he’s troweling it off once we’re sure there’s enough poured and that it’s sunken down or seeped and settled and I stand on some cinder blocks to watch and have a beer to see how he’s doing it and that he’s setting in patio blocks and then bordering them with red bricks and then in between all of that there’s stones being added in from the river that we had used in making the walls for it.

It’s dark and we have a bonfire going and lights lit by the time we get it done and it just needs to harden and cure but it looks like it’ll be awesome.

I so have this heady done something good feeling.

Then we play…

There’s a few games going on and we play frisbee flag football with the girls playing too and we drink and there’s good rock playing and I get a pretty good buzz before it gets to that full of food and full of booze and done for the day feeling and Alex is a good host and let’s everyone use the bathroom and the showers. The girls go first because we’ll run out of hot water and us guys we take cold showers.

First cold shower of my life and I’m kind of freezing when I get out of there but at the same time it’s a peter thing and I man up and get through it…actually I use my hair dryer and put it inside my towel and that helped a lot.

I get dressed again and come out and I’m guy drying my hair with a towel and I see Tiffany looking at me. She’s wearing a Toronto hockey jersey and panties and she’s holding a bowl of popcorn.

“You took a cold shower too?”

“Sure, ladies first.”

She smiles a little. “Some of us are going to watch a movie in the living room, you want to join us?”

“Sure.”

She offers me her hand and she leads me into the living room where there’s about a dozen of us still up. Tiffany and I find a place to sit on the floor and I stop. “I’ll be right back.”

“Okay.”

I go into my room and I grab my sleeping bag and unzip it and I grab the fuzzy quilt off my bed with the wolves on it and the other two blankets in my closet and those I pass to people as I pick my way through everyone getting back to her.

I get a smile and a thanks and the whole fist bump guy thing Alex and I do as he’s snuggling down with this girl called Lauren.

I really, really love hanging out like this.

Just that little thing is a brother’s thing between us. It means a lot, a whole lot to me.

Tiffany takes my sleeping bag and sets it under us and then we settle down and under the fuzzy quilt and we settle under it with the bowl of popcorn on top and once we’re all settled it we start watching movies.

Indiana Jones the first one and I’ve never seen it before and about ten minutes in Tiffany is leaning on me snuggling up and I wrap an arm around her and hold her and she becomes the popcorn feeder person.

It’s really late like threeish when the movie is done and I look at her and she’s asleep. I set the bowl aside and I move just enough so that I can scoop her up.

Okay wow…she’s heavier that I thought and I’m not apparently as strong as I thought either and my arms are killing me but I carry her to my bed and settle her in there and I cover her up and leave and close the door.

I’d definitely love that if a guy was that decent to me as Petra.

I go in and settle in the sleeping bag and zip it up and use the fuzzy quilt as a pillow and it smells good…buttery popcorn smells along with Tiffany’s smell after her shower and stuff.

Good way to fall asleep.

*Sunday............

The smell of coffee wakes me slowly and I dreamt for sure…I dreamt of me and Tiffany and us being together and if I had a flesh-boy-bit I would so be sporting morning wood.

It’s later than I thought since we were all up kind of late and I’m still blinking the sleep out and I see Tiffany come into the living room.

“Hey, morning you.”

She smiles at me. “You carried me to bed last night?”

“Yeah I thought you’d be more comfortable there.”

“Actually I think I was comfortable right were I was.”

“You think?”

“Well I woke up and I was covered up in your bed and it was really, really sweet…but when I thought some more about it I missed you not being there.”

“I…oh…”

Tiffany leans down to me and slides her fingers into my hair and she kisses me in a way that’s like I kissed her last night and yeah my morning wood becomes and raging lady boner.

As a guy; a girl leaning over you hanging boobs…even in a jersey are A-mazing.

She breaks the kiss and she looks at me softly, in this really sweet way. “You know no guy that I’ve ever been with has ever carried me off to bed and tucked me in.”

I smile looking up at her. “Soooo worth it for that kiss and more.”

“More?” She raises an eyebrow.

“I get to sleep in there and be that close to you.”

She blinks and smiles a few times and the way that she looks at me. For a few minutes it’s that girl shyly and sweetly smiling at a guy that she likes and I forget that I’m not a biological guy.

“So is Peter sticking around today?”

“Uhm…yes.”

“Good, you want some coffee?”

“I’d love some.”

“How do you take it?”

“Anyway’s good.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back.”

She leaves and I just kind of sit there with a kind of a goofy look on my face and she’s not gone that long before she comes back with a coffee. “Cream and one sugar?”

“Perfect.” I take it and it’s good but I’m not all that fussy with coffee or tea really I’ll drink both. It is nice having someone bring me one though. “Thanks this is nice. I’ve never had anyone bring me coffee just when I’m still sort of in bed.”

“You’re welcome. I’m going to be in the kitchen with the girls okay?”

“Sure….” She smiles sweetly at me again and I get up and use the bathroom after my coffee and brush my teeth to kill the morning breath since I could taste Tiffany’s toothpaste.

And it’s sort of an everyone’s waking up thing and a revolving bathroom situation for awhile and I can smell the grills going outside again and Tiffany comes and finds me.

“Peter could you and the guys set something up for all of us to sit at outside?”

“Sure.” I’m smiling because she asked me to do something for her and its kind of nice being asked that.

I head out and I see Alex looking all smiles as him and Rick are checking the patio. He looks at me. “It should be set this afternoon hopefully.”

“That fast?”

“We used quik-set in it remember?”

“Oh okay so literally like fast drying cement?”

“Pretty much but it’s not that fast it’s just given some help is all. How’s Tifa?”

“Good, last night actually kind of rocked.”

“Good she a good lady and a friend so it’s kinda cool that you too are getting along.”

“Yeah, definitely. She wants me to set up a table so everyone can sit at it. You wanna give me a hand?”

Rick helps us too being Mr. Inventor and we end up using some of the lumber Alex brought in for this to cobble together a big table that’s on saw horses and cinder blocks and topped with two sheets of plywood end to end so it’s plenty big and it’s almost a bring your own chair kind of thing with lawn chairs and those folding canvas ones and buckets and chairs from in the house.

Though once we have it built the girls all sweep in and cover it with a couple of old bed sheets that Alex said it was alright to use and then there was some flowers set out on an ice cream container and we were all called to breakfast.

Bacon, sausages and steak done on the grills and lots of toast and scrambled eggs and pancakes and jams and peanut butter and just about everything that we had for a breakfast was out there on the table and we all ate together all twenty some of us and I get to smile a little more as Tiffany takes a seat beside me and that makes it all the better.

The girls cooked for all us guys.

Way cool.

I do get surprised when Alex gets us all to hold hands and says grace. I mean we’re really, really not church going folk here at home I mean we’re…well I think we are supposed to be Lutheran or something but I can’t remember the last time I went to church other than a couple of weddings.

Not that I minded it either actually it gave the whole thing this sorta nice feeling to it.

We all eat and talk and pass everything around and we repeatedly thank the girls and a lot of what we talk about is either the stuff that we’re going to do today for the patio and the house and what a lot of them are going to be doing.

Most of the ones in the forces are just on leave so they’re either getting redeployed or their getting assigned to a base or something. Rick’s apparently going to CMR in Quebec and Ryan and Nate are going to be with Alex and Tiffany’s getting redeployed to Kandahar.

I reach over and slip my hand into hers and we sort of end up lacing our fingers together after that. I know she’ll be in the compound and stuff in the base mostly but it’s the mostly that sticks in my throat.

Okay I might be peter but just that though of maybe, I have a lump in my throat.

“Be careful over there…”

“I will…Peter?”

“Yeah…”

“See me off right this weekend?” She squeezes my hand and she’s staring at me in the eyes and it’s the most intense thing I think that’s ever happened to me.

I nod and fight to get my voice to work. “Yes, definitely yes.”

And we’re getting a few looks and them we get teased with a lot of awws and stuff.

But it sticks with me, with us I think all day.

We spend the day building stuff for the patio like the railings and there’s bench seating built into that and then there’s the steps for the patio and while we’re doing all of that the girls are scraping the outside of the house down and priming it and then painting it.

Alex actually went with this light sand color and it’s fixed up with brown trim and all the stuff for the patio gets stained and treated then bolted into place and we finally peel off the outer forms for the stonework and concrete we made for the patio and it looks really nice. The stones go with the stain and it all matches the house and just looks really nice.

I almost wish mom and dad were over to see it but at the same time I don’t really want to explain Peter to them.

It’s late enough that everyone has to pretty much get on the road and stuff but we send them off with leftovers and hugs and arm clasps and handshakes.

It’s so, so…it says something inside getting those kinds of looks and handshakes and getting treated in this whole other way and there’s another lump in my throat as the last of them are pulling away except for Lauren and Tiffany.

I look at Tiffany and she bites her lower lip and she and I leave despite it just being evening and we head to my room.

She closes the door.

Steps up and wraps her arms around me and she kisses me really sweetly.

“Can I stay the night with you?”

I lick my lips and nod but keep looking her in the eyes and I feel…I kiss her again like I did building the patio and she steps out of the sundress she was wearing all day.

There is this rush that sort of comes through me and I want to taste her, to have more of the kisses that she’s giving me and Tiffany in her bra and panties…isn’t just another girl in her bra and panties because Petra in the furthest person from my mind right now.

We kiss and we kiss and our hands roam and she undoes my pants and they fall to the floor with a satisfying thump. Then her hands are down my briefs feeling and fondling and moving it enough to rub me.

“Uhg…mmm…that feels good Tiffany…”

“It does?”

“Yeah, it does.”

“Peter…Uhm how…how do we? Do we do the girl thing?”

“No…”

I kiss her again and I lead her to my bed and the edge of it and I kneel and I undo her bra. I swear as many breasts that I’ve seen Tiffany’s are extra special, perfect and mouth watering. I have a real, real goo idea of what to do…I know how they feel and how what feels like what and the kind of touch and pressure that men have used with Petra.

I refine it a bit and use that experience as I kiss and suckle on her and do this palming of her breasts lifting the weight up and letting her experience my hands as I massage with the open hand and roll them almost in my hands…almost…just the gentle side of that and gentle squeezes as I suck…run my lips over areola and pulling off each nipple slowly with these fast little cat licks…only to thumb rub the nipple I’m leaving for the other one.

I love the heavy shaking panting and the whine of “Peter….” I can smell her as she rolls her hips against my bed.

I take a break just long enough to lean down and smell and kiss her panties and the kiss up her stomach and to her breasts but I do this lip-kiss-nuzzle thing at the sensitive way, way ignored under sides and outer side of her breasts back and forth three or for times before I return to her nipples.

Her head is thrown back and she’s panting. “Peter, Peter…oh…Peter!” and she has this very light shiver run through her and this hot full body flush…that I know so well.

But feeling it happening to a woman that’s in your arms and under your touch it something so incredibly sexually empowering. It’s so unlike the way that I’ve ever felt before.

Oh sure there’s all this rush of feeling powerful there but I feel very…protective too…I know that this is an amazing thing and it’s also as open a thing and a scary a thing as it is exciting to be with a new lover. And the fact I am who I am and Tiffany is being with me it’s kind of awesome.

She wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me down to her in a kiss and we keep doing that and I slip and hand down inside her panties and gently rub her until she opens up more and lets my fingers slip inside.

It’s like the way things are with the breasts but not…I’m inside of her and that’s…that’s so much more intimate. I’m very gentle and careful at first until I feel out where things are and how she likes it before I pick up my tempo.

Tiffany’s hand slips down and cups my “balls” but she slips her thumb and forefinger around my base and her other three fingers wriggle under my thong for my guy and she has to experiment around but soon she’s got this mini hand job motion going while her knuckles of those fingers are rubbing me.

It’s the thought of that and that tugging sensation that do it for me like this and sends me over the edge and I have this hard powerful orgasm over and over and I roll my hips and ride her knuckles and buck and buck.

Gnaw on her collar bone a little.

I feel her spasming around my hand and riding my fingers at that.

We stop to pant and to hold each other and kiss. I do a sort of push up off of her and smile. “More?”

She nods. “Definitely…more…wow I never thought…”

I kiss her and reach into my nightstand and take out the other part of my prosthetic. Instead of the cup and tube there is an insert that is like the dilator that hardens me up and it has a double end too when you order it and I swap them out and Tiffany’s eyes get big as the latex stretches as I snug it into place.

“You…holy…you just…you just got a boner!”

“Well technically I’ve had a real boner for you for like two days Tiffany.”

“Really!?”

I kiss her. “Yes, definitely yes.”

“Peter?”

“Yes?”

“Make love to me.”

“I’ve been dying to; I’ve wanted this so much Tiffany.”

We kiss some more and we lost our underwear in the middle of the hand and finger play so it’s just kissing and fondling and I slip fingers it again and stroke her to a fevered pitch as I do the same to her breasts and I get really going on one nipple and suckle, flick and squeeze and suckle really hard all over agin and when she’s got her hands in my hair and shoving down onto her breast I move a leg and adjust myself and I guide myself into her.

“Omigod, omigod, omigod!” She actually squees it as I sink into her wet slippery depths and I can fee the resistance and my end moves and sinks into me but I can feel the resistance of her insides…I can feel her body react and tighten around me causing these little quivering vibrations that are her own from the way her body is responding.

It makes me have a happy growl into her neck. “I can feel you shiver inside…I can feel your muscled Tiff…so good…ughn…really good.”

“Oh god Peter, goddamn it that was so good so…no…oh fuck the timing…I…I almost came right there.”

“Well that’s alright y’know…I have plenty other orgasms to give you.”

She get’s this wide eyed and really goofy smile like I just said out bed was made of chocolate or something.

I roll my hips as I move to kiss her.

The way she inhales around my kiss is so hot.

It gets just better from there as I start slowly getting used to the movement and the feelings from moving in and out of her and the other end which is smaller rubbing me inside…it’s always inside and not too deep but deep enough and it’s always rubbing against my harness.

I know what she needs, where to lean that extra pressure so she feels the full length of every stroke firmly.

Oh I am too but oh my god it feel so much different than anything with a woman under me and moving with me and making all those sexy sounds and calling my name and kissing me desperately and shaking and letting all those pleasure noises out as she wraps her legs around my waist and my extra curve of hip seems to be really good for that and I lean over her and kiss and suckle on breasts and move…and move and move…

I don’t know about other women but when Petra gets into really good sex even if it lasts only a moment there’s this point where all she/I want it more…to have this feeling never stop. Well I don’t have to worry about flagging and when I cum and I do…several times it has no effect on my staying power.

Peter is having sex. Making love until she says stop or I get too winded…both actually happen…her first needing a break to breathe…then me in round two? Yeah round not orgasm…we’ve both passed two a while back and it’s my turn as I get off really hard and we were doing it really hard from behind in doggy style…no not buttsex but just from behind…I have to try that with a guy sometime as Petra…she says it feels bigger that way?

But I needed a break after that because I got a stitch in my side. We both laughed about that and kissed and even fell asleep for a quick nap.

When I woke her I woke her with me sucking her nipples and lots more intense breast play. “More?” Her sleepy eyes widened. “More? You want to make love some more?”

“I want definitely more.” I kiss her hungrily and she returns it more and more as she wakes up. It’s dirty and sort of egoist of me. “I want you to touch yourself in the showers on base and think about me Tiff.”

She nods over and over. “No…no…chance that’s not going to happen…mmm…”

Her on top though was extraordinary when it came time for that…honestly the way that she looked and moved and leaned down to kiss me and the things that did with her breasts but the most amazing thing was that intense look in her eyes as she was doing that and the way her sweat damp hair just made everything so incredible.

It was a get my wood a little…a lot harder moment…it was Peter feeling this raw sexual impact of a woman that wants her man in this primal and feral way.

We got going harder and faster and louder and that’s what finished us off for the night she came yelling and shouting. “Peter, Peter. Oh fuck Peter!” and I was screaming… “Tiffany!...Oh Sweet mother of God!!!”

And I think I came but had what the called a squirt?

And then I was shouting. “Leg cramp!, Shit, shit, shit!”

And we heard Alex and Lauren laughing at us and one of the two was doing that loud encore whistling too.

And clapping.

We were both really, really embarrassed and at the same time it was so funny that they were doing that we burst out laughing and laughing which led to us holding onto each other until we fell asleep kissing some more in each others arms.

…………………………………………Morning came at us pretty fast, I think it was only just past midnight when Tiffany and I were done and yet still it was a lot of lovemaking, way more that I was used to and I fell asleep that much I think that I snored.

I guess I really was deeply into guy mode for that huh.

Actually have been told that I do snore sometimes.

Alex wakes me up.

“Hey.”

“Mmmrmfle…wha…”

“Tifa’s in the shower her and Lauren are leaving.”

I sit up and rub at my eyes. “God what time is it?”

“Quarter past six.”

“Uhm…okay…” I get up and stagger around getting dressed and by that time she gets out I get in there but get stopped for a kiss by Tiffany.

“Don’t be too long okay…we have to leave soon.”

“Be back in a flash.” I kiss her and I take a very fast shower.

It doesn’t take much with doing it guy style and lots of liquid soap on the puff and I wash really fast and I wash my prosthetic too and he’s pretty double girl scented when I do…I use the same soap to wash everything and I lather myself all over once then rinse and towel off fast.

No I do not slow down to softly pat at my skin or my boobs. There’s a fictional myth that while a girls skin is more sensitive on average we are not made from tissue paper.

I towel dry my hair and leave it messy and get back into my compression vest and prosthetic and get into a pair of fatigues and my Bob Seger t-shirt and I go out to the kitchen to get a coffee passed to me by Tiffany.

“I’d have made breakfast too but there’s not enough time.”

“That’s okay.”

I’m looking at her and she’s looking at me.

“Tiffany…thank you.”

“For what? Hell Peter I should be thanking you I had a great weekend and I really was sort of just expecting to hang out and maybe be like a fifth wheel.”

“For being open minded, for not freaking out and giving me this kind of weekend too. I’ll never forget this…or you ever.”

“Good… I’ll remember you too.”

“Tiff…I really mean it. I’m not like anyone else that I know…I really, really don’t fit here in some ways and if I ever did come out people wouldn’t get it.”

“They might?”

“No…never, ever…not here and not the fact that Peter is part of me.”

She kisses me again. “Well I’m still glad that I met such a nice guy and I always will.”

I blush and I kiss her. “Thank you.”

It’s more kisses right up to when Alex and I load their stuff into Lauren’s car and we watch them pull out and drive away.

“I…I really never thought it’s feel like this Alex.”

“You in love?”

“Yes, no…I know that this was special, one of those things that changes everything.”

“So’s Pete staying around?”

“No, but I’m not going away either.”

“Well Petra best go get herself ready and over to the house so she can go to school.”

“Oh yay…”

“Problems?”

“Yeah, no it’s just I’m getting kind of tired of the whole popular girl attitudes.”

“Stop being one of the popular girls then.”

I look at him. I mean I kind of want to and at the same time for a long time they’ve been my friends.

“They’re my friends Alex.”

“Really? You weren’t with any of them all weekend.”

“They don’t know Peter.”

“That’s not really an excuse.”

Sigh… “I know…”

“Listen, I’ve been to places that really, really show you that life’s too short. You don’t want to be with that kind of crowd anymore Petra then don’t. Don’t be in a place that’s poison because it’s familiar to you. People change sometimes for good and sometimes for bad. Get out if it’s bothering you do something else.”

“Okay…I’ll think about it.”

“Good, you’d better.”

We do the brother’s arm clasp then I hug him and go and get changed. I take off all of the stuff that’s Peter and put my regular me stuff on. It actually feels good to be back to being me. My boobs are definitely thanking me.

I mean as much as I like being a guy that vest bra does constrict a whole lot and it’s been on me all weekend. Heck it makes my bra feel light as air right now.

I clean up my room and then I find it.

A mason jar for jam and stuff and the top is on tight and there’s a note taped to the top with clear packing tape.

“Peter…I will miss you so much. I just wanted you to know you were literally magic for me this weekend an honestly nice gallant and kind guy after a string of not so nice. Shake this and think of me often please.”

“Love Tink.”

I look at the jar and there’s some stuff in it? I give it a shake and there are some golden sparkles all over the glass. I look at it and I see a tube of that body glitter stuff that girls use clubbing in my trash empty and two of those chem lights cut open there too?

I shake it again but this time I go under my covers and….WoW….

The sparkles are doing their glitter thing in the jar lit up by the stuff from a yellow chem light.

She left me my very own jar of Pixie Dust.

Pixie Dust for Peter.

For me.

I smile and I’m guy proud and I’m girling out at the same time as I take that with me as I head home. And I’m so much more than fine with feeling both.

School can’t suck after getting something like this.

Later everyone.

Petra “Peter” King.