A Summer of Changes
by Louise Anne Smithson

Book 2 Chapter 4

A weekend of social engagements

The meal with Angela went well and the couple had an enjoyable conversation in a quiet restaurant. After complimenting her friend on her appearance, Angela spoke about her future plans in Singapore. Denise in turn told her about her own work, and the suggestions that Denis had made for developing the web site. She also gave a hilarious account of Jane’s hen night and wedding reception.

‘You know you're really good company to go out with when you are wearing one of my dresses,’ commented Angela.

Denise gave a forced smile, but looked slightly uncomfortable.

‘Are you implying that I'm not good fun when I'm Denis?’

She sighed.

‘I suppose I am. Denis was a nice young man, and a good friend, but he was rather shy and awkward. I think he'd have been hard work for any girl to take on.’

‘Oh, I see,’ answered Denise quietly.

‘In any event, I already had a boyfriend and didn't want to complicate things by seeing a younger guy — no matter how innocent was the actual relationship.’

‘Why are you speaking about Denis in the past tense?’ asked Denise.

Angela shrugged.

‘I suppose it's because I'll be leaving shortly, and I'd like to remember you in terms of these last few days. In any event, I get the impression that your future lies more with Denise than Denis,’ she answered.

Denise sighed.

‘That seems to be my problem, I know several girls and even one bloke who appear to enjoy my company when I am Denise, meanwhile Denis leads a rather sad and lonely life,’ she answered.

‘So who's the guy?’

She explained briefly about the time spent with John and how she had turned down his offer to meet again.

‘I see, but if you liked him, and he knows all about you, then why did you tell him to get lost?’

‘I didn't tell him to get lost, I merely tried to explain that I wasn't ready to think about any form of relationship until I've sorted out my own feelings about Denise,’ she answered.

‘But you were willing to consider the possibility?’

‘I don’t know - perhaps - but I'm not sure. Mostly I enjoy spending my time with women rather than men.’

Denise didn’t wish to continue the topic further, and so changed the subject, explaining how the original offer to take her out for one evening as Denise had mushroomed into a series of social engagements over the next seventy-two hours.

‘Maybe we're all trying to tell you something?’

‘What's that?’ asked Denise.

‘That you might be happier and more fulfilled as Denise than as Denis,’ she answered.

‘That's the second time I've heard that comment recently; why do you think so?’

‘The first time I saw you as Denise you seemed to be a different person. You struck me as being more contented and, as we have just been saying, you make better company. Denis always seemed be rather on edge, whereas you seem relaxed and confident. That’s why I offered you my work clothes. I suspect your friends think the same as I do.’

Denise thought for a little before answering.

‘I do feel more confident as Denise and my colleagues also seem to treat me differently; they're more friendly somehow,’ she mused.

‘Of course. None of them see Denis as a potential boyfriend, yet they can all accept Denise as one of the girls.

Denise sighed once more but didn't seem willing to answer further.

‘What future plans have you got now that Denise has acquired a more extensive wardrobe?’ asked Angela.

‘I have so many clothes that I don’t know when I'll manage to wear them all.’

‘I never found that I had too many clothes, and I had far more than you do’.

‘That's different, you wear them full time.’

‘If you have many other weekends like this one you'll soon find you have worn them all, and will want to get yourself some more.’

‘I enjoy going out as Denise and I'm quite proud of the way I look. However, even with a wig and a wardrobe half full of dresses and skirts, life is still rather complicated having to switch backwards and forwards between the sexes. Just look at the arrangements I had to make for tonight.’

‘Have you considered spending some more time living as a girl just to see how you get on?’

‘I did spend nine days as Denise and enjoyed my time, but of course I didn't have to go home during that period.’

‘Nine days isn't long enough to discover your true feelings. I meant a few weeks.’

‘I haven’t thought about it. I suppose that thanks to your gift of all those clothes last week it would now be quite feasible for me to do so. I don’t think they would mind at work if I did so, but then there would be the case of finding somewhere else to live.’

‘Why don't you explain to Mrs Clarke about Denise, you never know, she may be alright about it?’ asked Angela.

‘I don’t think she'd be very happy about the idea, and she's always so nosey that she'd be bound to find out,’ replied Denise.

‘Maybe, but she told me that she's going to be visiting her sister next week from Sunday until Wednesday afternoon and so you could spend some more time as Denise if you wanted.’

‘There are also the other tenants on the top floor,’ said Denise.

‘We hardly ever see them and they would probably not even notice if you did run into them whilst you were wearing a dress.’

‘I've already arranged to change back on Monday afternoon, but I suppose I could delay things and call round to your flat in the evening if you like,’ said Denise.

‘Sorry I'll be staying with my parents. I have very few free evenings left before I leave next Saturday. We could go out together on Wednesday and then return home quite naturally and see what happens.’

‘What if Mrs Clarke finds out and gives me notice to quit?’

‘You'll at least know where you stand.’

‘Sorry, but I'm not ready to take the risk, but may I call round as Denis on Friday evening to wish you goodbye?’

Angela looked a little disappointed but agreed she could do so. After that the idea of going out together once more was quietly dropped.

After the meal both girls walked to the tube station before saying goodbye.

‘Thanks for the meal Denise, I've really enjoyed it, and I wish we could have gone out together before now.’

‘You're welcome, and thank you again for all the clothes, I'm sure they'll come in handy sometime.’

‘I’ll be leaving the country soon and so it doesn’t really matter to me what you decide,’ but you might at least consider my suggestion,’ said Angela, ‘ultimately you might find you are happier.’

‘I’ll think about it,’ answered Denise, before she kissed her friend on the cheek and joined her train going in the other direction.

Denise was not sorry when she arrived at Sue’s flat and found that her friend had already gone to bed. She undressed, cleaned off her makeup and put on her nightdress before spending an hour or more recalling her conversation with Angela and thinking about the implications of what had been said.

---

The following day with Sue was fairly relaxed and easy going, at least until Alison returned home in the evening. Denise and Sue spent the morning together chatting and planning their evening meal. Denise therefore offered to provide a light Sunday lunch before she left her friends to spend the Sunday afternoon and evening with Samantha. Throughout the whole time Sue did not make one reference to Denis or to Denise’s true sex and chatted to her as she would any of her female friends. Denise likewise avoided all matters about her gender and instead preferred to gossip about work. Sue confirmed that she had been asked by Helen to prepare a budget for a pilot project for the proposed website improvements and they were now waiting for Jane’s return from her honeymoon before making a start photographing the collection.

‘You never know Denise, there may even be a few occasions when we could do with a second model, if you were willing to consider doing the work,’ she said.

Denise smiled but did not answer, not thinking the possibility of such employment to be very likely.

---

The afternoon was spent shopping for food and toiletries, and then preparing their meal. Alison arrived back at tea time, having just returned from a sales convention in Newcastle-upon Tyne. She worked for a drug company, and had to travel away from home from time to time.

‘Hi everyone! It's good to see you again Denise, I felt sure it wouldn't be too long before you were staying with us again,’ she said kissing her on the cheek. ‘Here I've even brought you both some goodies made by one of our subsidiaries. We give them to our customers for their wives and mistresses, although I guess they'd prefer free samples of viagra. She handed them each a presentation box containing various cosmetics and a perfume.’

Denise thanked her and the two chatted with one another whilst Sue began serving their dinner.

‘I like your wig, where did you get it?’ asked Alison.

‘It was given to me by one of my housemates who's about to go abroad. She has also given me quite a few of her clothes.’

‘Have you told everyone at home about Denise then?’

‘No! Only my friend Angela, who lives in a bedsit in the same house. My landlady doesn't know, neither does my family.’

‘Well, that must be your next task, if you're going to live as Denise full-time.’

‘Who said that I was going to live as Denise full-time?’ she asked, surprised, remembering her conversation from the previous evening.

‘No-one, but it seems the next logical step for you,’ she answered in a matter-of-fact way.

During the course of their meal the conversation inevitably turned again to the various developments over the last fortnight relating to Denise and to her plans for the future, so she told them what Angela had said to her the night before.

‘How would you feel about living as Denise?’ asked Sue.

‘I don’t know, it has some attractions but it would be an awfully large step to take,’ she replied.

‘I think your friend was talking a lot of sense and that you might well be happier as Denise,’ said Alison

‘But wouldn’t it make her life complicated to live as Denise full-time,’ commented Sue.

‘No more complicated than switching between the sexes every couple of weeks,’ commented Alison.

‘I don’t know what to do,’ said Denise.

‘Only you can decide,’ said Sue, not wishing to push her friend too far. ‘Why not begin by making a list of all the things you like about being Denise and then another of those you don’t.’

‘Alright then, I’ll begin with the things that I like.’

‘I’ll write them down for you,’ said Alison.

‘Firstly I enjoy the sensation of wearing female clothing,’ she said. ‘I like the feeling of soft and silky clothes on my skin, especially nylon stockings and tights. I like tight and well-fitting clothes, and even though high heeled shoes sometimes make my feet ache, I still prefer to wear them because they make my feet look nice. Likewise I enjoy the sensation of having dangling earrings, feeling long hair on the back of my neck and having long manicured finger nails.’

As she said this she examined her own lacquered nails.

‘I suppose we take many of those things for granted, but I wonder whether the attraction would wear off after a while,’ said Sue.

Denise continued her list without answering.

‘I like to look good and enjoy receiving compliments or just admiring glances in the street. I also like to experiment wearing different colours and styles to give myself a different look. I enjoy putting on my makeup and perfume, for the way it looks, feels, and smells. I didn't even mind putting my hair into rollers at night when I had the extensions, because I knew it would make my hair look better the next day.’

‘Yes it was plain to us when we went out together three weeks ago that you enjoyed being looked at,’ said Alison.

‘I also prefer the way people react to me as Denise as well — they tend to be much nicer and more thoughtful and more interested in me, which makes me nicer and more interested in them, in return. I have many more friends and more invitations to go out as Denise than ever I had as Denis. It is also noticeable that other people — such as shop assistants or taxi drivers - are friendlier as well. Above all, I seem to have more confidence in my self and be more extrovert as Denise than ever I was as Denis.’

‘Wow! That's quite a comprehensive list, so what about the disadvantages?’ asked Sue.

‘Whereas the advantages are mainly internal to me — what I think and feel - the disadvantages tend to relate to what other people think and feel about me. For example, I worry about what my mother and sister and other relations would say if they could see me now? How will my landlady react? What about those people who knew me as a young man or at school?’

‘Is that all! said Alison indignantly. ‘You really have quite a lot to learn about being a girl. What about being patronised or the butt of sexist comments at work, quite apart from suffering from the curse each month?’

Sue indicated that her friend should be quiet and turned the conversation back to the subject of Denise and her feelings.

‘You automatically assume that other people’s reactions will be negative, but from what I've heard, those you have experienced so far have all been quite positive. Certainly that's true with your colleagues at work; we all like having you as Denise’.

‘Yes, and if other people’s reactions were the only thing I'd have the courage to go ahead. However, there is also the unresolved issue of my sexuality — which I still have to face. I have never had a girl friend and certainly never will have one if I continue to dress like this, but I've never thought of myself as being homosexual. I've always preferred the company of females, but I'm not sure how Denise should react to men. Jane’s cousin knew all about me and yet he still seemed to like me when we met at the wedding. I got quite frightened because I seemed to be feeling the same way towards him and did not know what to do.’

Denise felt a tear run down her cheek, and then she felt Sue’s hand touch her by way of comfort.

‘Denise, only you can decide what you want to do with your life. We may make suggestions or provide opportunities for you, but you must take as much time as you need to decide which way you want to go’ said Sue.

Thereafter Sue and Alison tactfully steered the conversation to other subjects. The three girls stayed up late drinking wine and talking of a variety of things including their respective jobs, clothes Alison’s current boyfriends and Sue’s former long-term partner with whom she had recently split. No further reference was made to Denise’s situation either then or during the remainder of her visit, she was simply a mutual friend who had come to stay.

---

‘I'm afraid we haven't done very much this weekend, in return for your cooking us lunch,’ commented Sue the next day.

‘Don’t worry, I've enjoyed the companionship of two good friends.’

‘So you would like to come and stay again sometime when we're both free,’ said Alison.

‘Oh yes please. I'm not in a position to invite you back to my place, but perhaps we could all go out for the day one weekend or even stay in a bed and breakfast.’

‘That would be nice,’ answered Sue.

---

Later that afternoon Denise rang the doorbell of Samantha’s flat and could hear her friend running down the stairs to answer.

‘Hi Denise, it is so lovely to see you again,’ she said giving her a great hug and sounding genuinely pleased. ‘I'm glad to see you looking so good.’

‘Thanks, I've missed you too.’

The two spent the next hour catching up with each other’s news over the last fortnight, and looking at the professional wedding photographs, which Samantha had collected to pass on to her sister as soon as she got home. In fact Jane had just telephoned from the airport to say that she’d had a wonderful honeymoon but was feeling a little off colour. However, she confirmed that she would be coming to collect her remaining belongings from their shared flat over the next week.

‘She's paid her rent until the end of June, but after that I'll have to look out for a new flatmate as I won't be able to afford the rent on my own with my monthly allowance,’ said Samantha.

‘It's a nice flat, you won't have too much difficulty finding someone to share with you,’ said Denise.

‘Yes but I want to be sure that I can get on with her before I accept anyone,’ she answered.

‘Are you going to look for a job for the summer?’

‘Yes, I've now had my break and have three months to try and earn myself some money for next year.’

Denise told her friend about everything she'd done during the last two weeks, and in particular about her meetings with Angela.

‘I was wondering where your clothes came from. Does that mean you now possess a complete wardrobe of female clothes?’ she asked.

‘Yes I suppose it does.’

‘Will you be able to wear them to work?’

‘I suppose so, my workmates seem quite keen for me to dress as Denise from time to time.’

‘So you can now be Denise whenever you want?’

‘Well not exactly. I can spend the weekend staying with friends but I still have to return home as Denis during the week.’

‘Why don’t you move in to Jane’s old room? The rent would be no more than you're currently paying, and you wouldn't have to worry about the landlady seeing you wearing a frock’

‘But I didn't think you wanted to meet me as Denis’

‘I don’t! The invitation to move in is addressed to my friend Denise. If you accepted, you would have to promise that you would either dispose of Denis’s things or at least leave them somewhere else.

‘So you're suggesting that I live full-time as Denise?’

‘Yes I suppose I am, but if you like we could start off with a fixed trial period — say just for the summer. If either one does not wish to continue the arrangement there'll be plenty of time for you to find alternative accommodation.’

‘I'm sorry Samantha, but I don’t think I am ready to take such a step.’

She looked a little disappointed.

‘That is a pity; we seem to get on with one another and could have fun together.’

‘Sorry but it seems quite a drastic step for me to take at the moment,’ said Denise.

‘Jane won’t be moving out for another week, so you can think about my offer for a few days if you wish, but after that I'll have to look for someone else to share with.’

‘Alright then, I’ll think about it,’ she replied.

(Next time Denise hears about the opportunity of a new job.)