A Summer of Changes

by Louise Anne Smithson

Book 4 Chapter 2

Getting ready for a date

Sue slept late the following next morning, as she often did on Saturday mornings, and so Denise and Alison were left to have a leisurely breakfast together. Inevitably their conversation concerned the events of the previous evening.

‘Well young lady, did you enjoy yourself last night?’ asked Alison.

‘Yes thanks. I had a really great time. It was a lot of fun getting dressed up to go out dancing with a bunch of girls’.

‘I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. You're also getting to be a good dancer’.

‘Thanks; now that I've got used to wearing heels, I find I can dance in them as well.’

‘So how did you get on wearing the gaff?’ asked Alison.

‘Not too bad for the bulk of the time, in fact I've put one on again this morning. The only problem I had was when that bloke I was dancing with tried to kiss me. I didn't fancy him, but nevertheless I found that my brain was frantically sending signals down below to pump some blood into my poor member, but it was strapped down and there was nowhere for it to go. I felt as if I might explode. In the end I had to go to the ladies put my hands in cold water and force myself to think about other things until the urges subsided.’

‘What happened to the bloke?’ said Alison laughing.

‘By the time I emerged from the ladies he'd found someone else to dance with, I was relieved to discover.’

‘You can always tell any guy that hits on you to get lost — most of them half expect it,’ added Alison.

Denise suddenly became quite thoughtful.

‘Yes I know, but what will I do if I quite like the guy in question?’

‘You mean what are you going to do when you go to Brighton next weekend?’

Denise blushed.

‘Yes, I suppose I do.’

‘You don’t have to wear the gaff.’

‘I know, but it won’t be very sexy if we get into a clinch and we both get a hard on at the same time.’

It was now Alison’s turn to blush a little.

‘It isn't a problem that I've ever had to face Denise.’

‘It's a new phenomenon for me as well. It looks as if I'm beginning to turn into a guy after all. Puberty is beginning to kick in, albeit five years late. The next thing will be my voice starting to break and my having to shave every day.’

‘I'm not sure about that, you certainly don’t look or sound like a guy,’ said Alison soothingly.

‘Or feel like one, for that matter. Over the last few weeks I've really begun to discover my true self, and now just as I'm coming to terms with who I want to be, my body is going to start playing tricks on me.’

‘Denise, I think you will need to consult a psychiatrist first, but there are tablets that you can take to prevent you getting an erection and block the effects of male puberty,’ said Alison.

‘How do you know all this?’ asked Denise.

‘I work for a pharmaceutical company and we have a database that lists the side-effects of different drugs. When Sue suggested that we got you a gaff I did some background research to see how professional female impersonators dealt with the problem’ replied Alison.

‘So what do professional impersonators do?’

‘Well it is difficult to generalise but some of them take female hormones, or androgen blockers but you need to be very careful as if you take them for too long they could change your body permanently.’

‘Such as growing my own boobs.’

‘That might well happen if you started to take large doses of oestrogen but I was actually referring to an androgen blocker such as Aldactone which prevents the signals from the brain from reaching your penis.’

‘What would happen if I started to take that?’

‘In the short term, probably not a lot other than it would solve your erection problem, but if you continued to take them for several months there could be longer term or even permanent effects.’

‘Such as?’

‘Well you're clearly a very late physical developer, and although you'll probably not now grow any taller, the testosterone that is being produced by your body will gradually make you more manly looking over the next few years. Taking an androgen blocker would certainly slow down or perhaps even stop that process. In the short term they would probably do you no harm, but if you took too many it could make you impotent.’

‘I've been wondering about the possibility of taking hormones,’ said Denise. ‘Is there anywhere I can get more information on their long-term effects?

‘I’ll show you some web sites if you wish, but I suggest that you think very carefully before taking oestrogen and also get some professional advice in case you do any permanent damage or find yourself going down a path from which you are unable to return.’

Denise sighed.

‘It's just that these days I feel so much more alive and comfortable in myself living and working as a woman than I ever did as a man.’

‘I never knew Denis, but Sue tends to agree and thinks that you're a more interesting person to know since you became Denise. But I'm not going to advise you about whether or not to start taking hormones - only you can decide that — preferably with psychiatric and medical advice.’

‘I know Alison, but I should like to find out more information on the subject, but don’t worry I won't be doing anything rash.’

---

Their conversation moved on to other things until at about 11.00 am Denise’s telephone rang. She looked at the display and saw that it was John.

‘Hi John, how are you on this lovely day?’ she asked cheerfully.

‘Fine thanks, I just wondered how your birthday bash went last night?’ he asked.

‘It was really good fun — a true girls’ night out - but everyone behaved themselves including your two cousins,’ she replied.

‘I'm not worried about my cousins; they're old enough to look after themselves. But did you have a good time?’

‘Yes thanks, although I did feel a little guilty about putting you off,’ she answered.

‘Don’t worry Denise, you can make it up to me next weekend.’

‘Maybe, but we’ll have to see how you behave, in the meanwhile.’

They chatted together in a similar tone for a few minutes and then he rang off.

Alison sat quietly until she'd finished her call and then commented ‘it sounds as if you're quite taken with him.’

Denise blushed slightly and shrugged.

‘He has always accepted me as I am, without any question, and I quite liked him when we met at Jane’s wedding. I just wish that his cousins would stop trying to push us together.’

‘So are you sure you're ready to go out with a guy?’

If I'm going to live as a girl for the rest of the summer, I may as well go the whole hog and find myself a boyfriend.’

‘You should do whatever you think is right for you, and not be influenced by anyone else,’ said Alison.

‘I just hope everything works out alright for us next weekend.’

‘Would you like me to get you some Aldactone?’

‘Yes please, but I would rather you didn't mention it to the others until I know what I'm going to do in the longer term.’

‘Alright, but please be careful and make sure that you've read up on the subject before you start to take them on a regular basis.’

Denise handed over £30, which Alison said would be more than enough for a month’s supply.

---

Ten minutes later Sue emerged from her bedroom.

‘What would you like to do today Denise? I have to go food shopping and pick up my dry cleaning, but otherwise I'm free.’

‘Why don’t I cook us all dinner and then we can stay in and spend the evening watching some of your girly videos?’

‘I'll stay for dinner’ said Alison, ‘but I'ave arranged to meet my boyfriend this evening.’

‘Your idea is fine by me and we can give one another a facial at the same time,’ replied Sue.

---

The three of them went out shopping together at the local food market, and in the afternoon Denise began to prepare their evening meal whilst Sue and Alison caught up with cleaning their flat. Sue and Denise spent their evening giving one another beauty treatments and watching sentimental movies. One odd thing was that Denise suddenly realised that she was now identifying with the heroines of these films, feeling happy or sad for them found, or annoyed when they did something stupid, even looking critically at the clothes they were wearing. She even allowed herself to shed a tear at the emotional scenes — something that Denis would previously have struggled to stop himself from doing.

‘I enjoyed going out dancing last night, bur in a different way I've had just as much fun staying in this evening,’ commented Denise with her hair in rollers and her face covered in green goo.

‘Maybe so, girls can be affectionate friends with one another, but it isn't the same as having a boyfriend, to take you out and treat you like a real lady,’ answered Sue.

‘No I suppose not. In that case we'll both have to get ourselves fixed up.’

---

The following day Denise left Sue's flat after an early lunch claiming that she needed to do some laundry. However, as soon as she returned to the empty flat she got out her laptop and started to look for information from the web about the effects and dangers of taking various hormones. She read for a couple of hours and then transferred some pages on to her data stick to look at later. Samantha arrived back from her sister’s house late on Sunday night and the two friends just had time for a brief chat recounting their experiences on Friday evening and comparing notes about their respective weekends before going to bed.

---

On Monday morning Denise took care with her hair and makeup knowing that she would not be modelling for a few days and so would not get much opportunity to look at herself in the mirror to fix them during the day. She also put on one of the gaffs given to her by Sue, as she wanted to get used to wearing them and going to the toilet with one on. It was now a full month since they had started work on the catalogue, which was one-third of the time budgeted for. Sue had calculated that they had completed work on not quite a quarter of the stock, so it did not take a mathematical genius to realise that they would not be finished by the time Samantha went back to University. Nevertheless Helen appeared pleased with the progress made and was anxious to launch the incomplete web site as quickly as possible. Thus Denise spent her week mounting the existing catalogue on the web site and setting up the required links. The work involved sitting at a computer screen for much of the day. In order to relieve the boredom, whenever she had the opportunity to do so, she exchanged affectionate text messages with John, via the messaging system. He was also in process of learning a new job and so was spending a fair amount of time at his own computer screen.

---

The new website launched on Tuesday 20th July 2004 and once it was up and running Denise sent out large numbers of emails to their customers, in Helen’s name, alerting them to the developments and inviting them to sample and comment. Midway through the morning Sue handed her a small package, which she said was from Alison. Fortunately it was obvious that Denise was pressed for time and Samantha was just changing for the next picture, so there was no time for Sue to ask any awkward questions about the package. Denise thanked her and put the box in her handbag before returning to her computer screen. Shortly afterwards she took a toilet break and swallowed the first of the pills, deciding that she would take one a day until the weekend and then re-assess how she felt.

---

That evening Samantha was due to go out with some friends from university. She had tried to persuade Denise to go with her, but the latter was looking forward to an evening on her own, both to think about the package that was sitting in her handbag and also to read through all of the documents she had downloaded the previous Sunday and had printed at work the previous day. Thus she spent her evening reading about the role of oestrogens and anti-androgens, and the effects that they had on the body. In fact there were enough Aldactone tablets to last her for the two months, that her contract had left to run if she decided to take one each day as recommended. Having taken the first tablet that morning she half expected something dramatic to happen. Nothing did. She felt no different. Clearly any changes that took place would be gradual.

---

On the Wednesday evening she and Samantha had a long chat over their evening meal and it was their first opportunity to catch up with one another’s news since the previous weekend since they had both been so busy in the office. Denise explained about her work on the website and how things seemed to be going quite well.

‘This afternoon we've received the first positive feedback and electronic orders from customers. If we continue without a hitch, I think this could change the whole nature of Helen’s business,’ commented Denise.

‘Good, Sue and I also made quite good progress today’, replied Samantha.

‘How have you found modelling on your own this week?’

‘It's surprisingly hard work to be constantly in the limelight. I still enjoy it but I think I preferred it when the two of us were working together’ she replied.

‘Don’t worry, I’ll be back next week, and no doubt I'll have my turn to work on my own after you've left us.'

‘Yes, actually Denise there was something that I wanted to discuss with you on that matter.’

‘What's that?’

‘Have you given any thought to what you intend to do once I go back to University in the third week of September?’ she asked.

‘Not really, I guess I’ll revert to my previous job at work, although there's now likely to be more for me to do relating to the web site and ordering system.’

‘What about your living accommodation?’

‘Well I should like to remain here for as long as you'll let me. I believe there will be enough work to employ me as Denise until the end of October.’

‘And then what?’

Denise thought for a moment, wondering whether to say what was in her mind or leave it until she had a clearer idea of what she wanted to do.

‘I don’t really know, I suppose I'll have to decide whether I would like to remain living as I am or else start looking for somewhere else to live.’

‘The trouble is that if you were to leave here at the end of October then I would have great difficulty in finding another lodger as all the students will be fixed up for the academic year, whereas if you were to leave just as the term was about to begin, as we originally agreed, I'd have no trouble in finding someone. In fact a couple of my friends are already looking for rooms for the next academic year.’

‘Oh, I didn’t realise that there would be a problem with me staying on’ said Denise.

‘Please don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy having you as a flat mate, and would love for you to stay on, but could it be for a little bit longer than the end of October — let us say to the end of the year?

‘You want me to stay on as Denise for the next five months?’

‘It could be longer if you wanted. You have all the clothes you need, and appear to enjoy living as Denise. I can't see Helen or any of your colleagues objecting if you did stay on for a few more weeks, particularly as they'll probably have some modelling work for you for part of that time as new designs are brought into stock.’

‘I don’t know Samantha, I've had a great time so far this summer, but will you let me have a week to think carefully about my future and whether I would rather stay here as Denise or find somewhere else to live as Denis?’

‘Yes of course, take until the end of the month to decide what you'd like to do, but I would like to know your plans by the beginning of August please.’

‘There's one thing though Sam. I like living and chatting with you, but in the longer term I'm going to need a little more privacy. There'll be some things that I won't want to discuss with you, or else will only want to discuss them when I 'm ready to do so., and you must accept that. Also, I would rather that you didn't keep seeking to engineer a relationship between me and your cousin.’

‘Oh, I am sorry if I seem to be interfering but I was just trying to be helpful.’

‘Maybe but there are some things I have to work out for myself without your help. I'll be seeing John this weekend and I'ill have to see how it works out.’

‘I hope you have such a good time with him that you'll want to remain his girl friend for the next few months.’

‘If I do, it will be my decision’ answered Denise.

‘Alright then, I understand.’

---

Denise took her fourth tablet on Friday morning and would continue with them daily. It was also becoming second nature for her to put on one of her gaffs each day and then rinse it out each evening.

John eventually rang her mobile — the first time they'd actually spoken to one another, since the previous Saturday.

‘Hello stranger’ answered Denise, ‘you haven’t telephoned me all week?’

‘Sorry, but I've been so busy, and was under the impression that you were pretty busy as well. In any event we have been exchanging messages?’ he replied.

‘Yes but anyone could have sent those messages — you might even have asked your secretary to reply to them’ said Denise, teasing.

‘Believe me; my secretary is middle-aged and quite fierce. There's no way that I'd ask her to do anything personal for me.’

‘Alright, I’ll believe you. So what can I do for your today?’

‘What are the arrangements for Saturday and Brighton?’

‘We can check into the hotel room any time after 3.00 pm, and I'll need an hour or so to get ready if we are going out on Saturday night, other than that there are no arrangements.’

‘In that case why don’t I collect you at about 10.00 am and then we can have lunch and a look around the town before checking into the hotel.’

‘That suits me, fine.’

---

Although they were only going away for two days, Denise took a lot of trouble on Friday evening in deciding exactly what she was going to wear on the journey to Brighton and the outfits that she would take with her, even down to her underwear and makeup. She was a little apprehensive about the weekend but also looking forward to it. She checked the weather forecast and learned that it was likely to be a fine weekend. That was good news since she liked to wear summer dresses and the outfit bought for her by her mother and sister would be fine for when they went out on Saturday night. At night she decided she wear the lacy pink nightdress given to her by Samantha two months before. Having decided what to wear she checked her legs and arms. It was a week since she had last de-fuzzed them and they were still pretty smooth, but she wanted to be absolutely sure that she would look her best for the weekend and so smoothed depilatory cream on them once more. She went to bed imagining what she would like to happen over the coming weekend.