The fireplace had been fed some more logs and was still crackling merrily.
While we had been out collecting Cathy at the airport and then going to the store for her winter clothes, the guys who had stayed here started the fire and brought in more wood, stacking it over in the corner on the flagstones which made up the storage area of the extended hearth.

I didn’t mind that as there was a lot of wood available outside and burning it cut back on the electric heating which eased the load on the battery banks. As that room was very toasty I cheated a little, clicking on the fireplace heat ducting fans which would transfer some of the heat from the firebox vanes and the stones lining it, out to the adjacent rooms while the smoke and fumes continued on up the chimney.

I was really quite happy Cathy was here and she must have been also as she was spending as much or more time with me than she did with her father. Being a Mom was turning out to be kind of nice.

After we had lunch Cathy asked, “Mommy ... Can we read my book some more?” Smiling at her I led her into the den, turned up the thermostat a little and we found her book. After we had been reading for about a half hour and we were just beginning our third book I told her, “I need to go check on the roast for a little bit. I’ll let the guys know you are reading so maybe some of them will come and help you with the big words.”

“Okay, Mommy.”

Almost as soon as I mentioned it, some of the guys gravitated out of the living room to go in to help her. They eventually wound up partially acting out the story much to her amusement. After there were several guys there to help, I left long enough to check and moisten the roast before returning to help her read and then repeated the check of the roast again just after the story was finished. Cathy had been curled on the couch leaning on me whenever I was there and I had my arm around her letting her know someone cared.

“Mommy, can I read another?”

I looked at James, who was shaking his head before I replied.

“Cathy why don’t you decide which one you would like to read and we will save it for after supper.”

“Okay,” a little disappointment in her voice. She went over to look through the small pile, selecting one before she yawned again.

“Are you tired, honey? Need a nap?”

“Nooooo ... ” she plaintively wailed.

I smiled at her, “I promise not to let you miss anything important.”

“Promise?”

She was still at the age when promises were iron-clad.

“Cross my heart. Why don’t you let Nana take you up to your room. You could have a short nap and then I’ll wake you for supper. Afterward we can read your next story.”

Cathy got up coming over to hug me and give me a kiss, then she went to her Father and did the same.
“Sweet dreams, baby,” I called to her as she walked away with her nursemaid.

“See you later, Cathy,” her father called out.

I watched as she left with the Nanny, then put her books into the pile with the others while placing her new selection on top.

“You’re really good with her. You’ll make a good mother some day.”

I looked at James with a mix of surprise, happiness, and longing for the possibility.

“Some day. If I get that far. It’s nice having a daughter, even if it is only temporary and I’m
actually borrowing.”

“Once you’re a woman, maybe you won’t need to borrow anymore.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing specific. I just think if you stop telling people that you are going to become a woman and just start being one that you might find someone who would like you for who you are and who could accept you and love you. Then the two of you could raise a family together.”

“Someone like you, I suppose?” I asked, a little annoyed.

“Not necessarily. Although I find you to be intelligent as well as pretty.”

“Again, what is that supposed to mean?” wondering where this conversation was going.

“Possibly not what you are thinking. My wife was considerably different than you, both in personality and in business acumen. She was an excellent networker, wonderful wife and devoted mother. I still love her very much after all this time since her death but, I will never find another like her and, further, probably shouldn’t. In you, I find someone with business capabilities ... You network easily, or at least appear to do so, and are growing your business as well as attempting to branch into areas which are peripheral but pertinent.

You said you purchased commercial properties which are used by your business but you selected more than your business needed so you could lease out some of the property thereby creating a positive cash flow rather than a drain. That’s good business sense. You have two junior partners, by your own admission, plus others who are ‘silent partners’ and you have taken steps to protect their interests. At this point I’d say each of us has a net worth probably very close to that of the other. The opportunity exists that we could each benefit from an equal merger of our businesses. The two of us might be able to cause a great deal of growth in a mutual venture. We also have a certain unspoken trust of each other for whatever reason.

That trust is bringing me to want to spend more time with the woman with whom I’m talking. Note, I said woman. That IS what you are despite whatever road you must take to get there. For now I would be quite happy to simply be allowed to continue seeing you on a non-professional basis. We can hold the professional considerations aside for future examination.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Say Yes, at least to allowing me to continue to date you, as well as continuing to be a surrogate mother for Cathy. She likes you a lot.”

“I ... Don’t know. I haven’t given it much serious consideration.”

“Then why did you suggest Cathy come here for the week-end or longer? Why have us here for Christmas? What do you want from our presence?”

“I don’t know. I just didn’t want Cathy to have a sterile Christmas and I wanted her to feel included in the things you and I were doing as much as possible.”

“Spoken like a true mother, who wants her child to feel wanted and loved. Or are you trying to hide behind her so you and I won't become too close? If you hurt her I should be most displeased.”

“James, I would never knowingly cause hurt to her feelings. I love her like she’s my own ... ” Almost in a whisper, “ ... daughter.”

He nodded his head while looking at me closely.

“Ohmigosh. I’ve got to check the roast,” I rushed out going to the kitchen only to find him following me. I couldn’t escape that easily. As I basted the roast, deciding it could use a half hour more before I moved it to the other oven to keep warm, James kept the conversation light granting me time to think, as if that was possible.

He wanted to begin dating me in anticipation of my transition to womanhood and he was willing to allow me to fulfill the role of mother to his daughter. He also proposed a business merger.
I felt like he had a gun to my head. If we married and performed the merger then something went seriously wrong in our marriage, it could seriously affect my business. If the marriage went well but the merger didn’t then what effect would it have on the marriage? Probably not good. If both went well? One chance in three, not terribly good odds. I would need some assurances that the business could be split again if necessary and without any loss of growth accumulated by either business during the temporary alliance. Perhaps they could be held by a holding company comprised equally of James and myself.

“No, James. I don’t think that would work very well. If we continue to see each other, I think the two businesses need to remain separated.”

I needed to talk this over with the attorneys. Meanwhile, what should I do? Should I continue to see him non-professionally?

I had been preparing the second roast and started the lower oven ten minutes ago so it would be warm. Then I moved the first roast into the lower oven to keep it warm before placing the second into the much hotter oven to begin cooking. Supper would be in about two hours with the second roast ready about that time or maybe shortly after.

“James?”

“Yes?”

“I think I would like to continue dating you. If you can make me feel you aren’t holding a gun to my head. As to the businesses, I still need a lot of time to think about that.”

“Okay, Lynn, thank-you. I’ll try very hard not to make you regret it.”

“No promises, James. Remember, I started out hating your guts. Now, I don’t know why, but I would like to continue seeing you ... And Cathy.” I hastily added.

“We’re a package deal anyway,” he replied.

I laughed, and so did he. We were standing close so he leaned forward to kiss me softly. I turned bright red before turning away to going back to the potatoes I had started peeling. As I finished the potatoes, James was telling me his life’s history and prying mine out of me with a finesse I didn’t know was possible.

After the potatoes, I moved on to opening ten large cans of soup pouring them into a kettle then added half the amount in water before asking him to place it on the electric burner so it could warm slowly and would be low enough that I could easily stir it. I know I could just as easily have placed it on the burner before I began to fill it but I needed the added diversion for him.

The potatoes were in another kettle which was now on a second burner and slowly warming before coming to a light boil. Fresh shelled peas, carrot slices, lima and cut string beans plus a little corn went into a third pot. Before he could escape, I put James’ hands to work; after he washed them and put on an apron. I had him begin to cut the heads of lettuce and separate the leaves into a large bowl. As he was accomplishing this small task I cut a number of tomatoes into slices to also be included in our salad. About half the fresh mixed vegetables would be added after they cooked and chilled a little in the refrigerator.

James next task was to open three jars of dressing and pour some of each into it’s own serving bowl for use on the salads. This was something new for me. I usually make the dressings from scratch but there was a section in the store that had pre-made dressings in pint, quart and gallon containers so I thought I would give them a try and picked up a quart of each of four of them. So far he seemed to be doing well at his tasks. I proceeded to check all the vegetables and the soup, lowering the heat on the soup just a tad to help hold the flavor then stirring everything before going to check the roasts. They were doing well, the first was still warm and moist, and the second had well begun at cooking nicely having pre-cooked a bit in the cooler oven. Now I rinsed and dried my hands.

“James, I’m going to awaken Cathy so she can prepare for supper, I’ll be right back. Don’t mess with anything. Oh! In three or four minutes stir the soup for a minute and again five minutes later if I’m not back by then.”

He nodded his head dutifully, “Kiss her forehead to awaken her. That’s what Amanda used to do all the time and Cathy comes awake with less ‘fanfare’ that way as well.”

“Fanfare?”

“She tends to throw her arms around a lot as she wakes up but a kiss on the forehead brings her up more slowly and she doesn’t become violent.”

I nodded my head going out and up the stairs. Slipping into her darkened room, I made my way over to look at her asleep on the bed. Leaning closer, I kissed her forehead gently.

“Cathy, wake up sleepyhead. It’s almost supper time,” I quietly told her.

She smiled as her eyes opened to see me, “Hi Mommy, I had a nice dream. You went away but then you came back as a new Mommy so Daddy and I won’t be alone anymore.”

“That was a nice dream, baby. Do you need Nana to help you get ready for supper? I need to go down and continue preparing it.”

“Can I try? I’m a big girl, but Nana can help if I get stuck.”

“Okay. This isn’t a special meal so you don’t need to wear a dress. I’m going to eat supper dressed like this and then we’ll read your book after Mommy cleans up everything.”

Cathy yawned, “Okay Mommy. Nana always knows what to choose.”

I kissed her on the forehead again.

“You always did that Mommy. I missed you. Will you sing lullabies to me again when I go to bed?”

“It’s been a long, long time, baby. I don’t know if I remember any.”

Getting up from sitting on the bed I added, “I’ll send Nana in.”

I exited the room as she was getting out of bed. Next, I knocked on the nursemaid’s door telling her, when she answered, “Supper will be ready in just over half an hour, Cathy is up and starting to prepare for supper. No one need wear a dress, I’m into casual.” as I indicated that to which I had changed to when we returned home earlier.

She smiled then walked down and entered Cathy’s room. I began to try to muster the courage to go down and face the inquisitor again.

He was stirring the soup as I entered the kitchen. I smiled at him as thanks for a job well done. He began talking again as I took over the duties once more. Thankfully James kept the conversation light; talking about Cathy and her childhood before I met her. I’m learning so much that it was difficult for me to realize I really had only been near her for little more than three days.

“So, how did her finger painted mural turn out?”

“Well, let’s just say it was no DaVinci ... Possibly a little more along the lines of a Picasso. We let it stay on the bedroom wall for a few weeks before cleaning it off. She grew tired of it by then. It wasn’t too long before crayons were of far greater interest. Much less messy to work with, just keep her away from blank walls.”

“I’ll keep that in mind for when she visits during Christmas. Please don’t pack crayons in her things for the trip.”

I had a fleeting thought, “She doesn’t color over art which is hanging, does she?” Thinking that I might possibly need to remove my oil paintings and store them temporarily.

“No, thank God. I have a number of originals hanging at home which would be very difficult to restore. Some of the ones I’ve seen here are quite valuable as well, if I’m not mistaken.”

“Yes, there is a Monet ... A Matisse and a VanGogh as well as a few of the lessor artists but, still valuable. I missed out on a DaVinci ... The bidding started at three quarters of my available funds and surpassed me in just two bids. I really didn’t expect to be in the running but had hoped for the possibility. I satisfied my cravings with the Monet instead.”

“Now that’s a bit of a coincidence. I purchased a DaVinci at auction last year at Southby’s. There was an effeminate man who made the opening bid but didn’t continue to bid. He purchased a Monet two offerings later.”

“At Southby’s? I hate to tell you this but that was probably my alter ego or perhaps, my prior ego. I prefer to think of him as the larval stage and this is the butterfly, speaking only of freedom and beauty.”

“I appreciate the metamorphosis. I do hope you intend to remain this way.”

“Or even better, once I find someone to help me, I intend to complete the change. Thank-you, James, for not ‘weirding out’ on me.”

“I see nothing to ‘weird out’ about, Lynn. I like the way you are. As a female, I mean.”

My face again felt quite warm. Some of the things he says are embarrassing, but I was craving them. When he held me close ... It just felt so ... right. I know I would never be able to make a baby with him even after my change, but I truthfully hoped he would actually be able to accept that I was Female which is something I had tried to deny for years, even so much as to get into fights over someone saying I looked feminine. My efforts obviously were not met with much success for here I was again as my feminine self.

“I hate to break away from this conversation, James, but I really must begin to place the food out on the table and everyone needs to wash and come to supper. Would you let everyone know they need to wash up?”

James assisted by transferring everything to the table after warning everyone that they needed to prepare for supper. Meanwhile I carved the first roast into serving size pieces. After he had made a few trips the roast was ready so he carried it out while I brought another of the 20 cup pots out to go onto the roll around cart. I reminded myself that from now on I needed to remember to place it in the dining room before adding the water or starting it to make coffee. I managed to make the trip without spilling it through no fault of my own, plugging it in to remain warm. This pot had some additional things added for flavor and was a combination of four different coffee beans. I love the opportunity to select the beans and run them through the grinder before purchasing. Some really flavorful blends could be achieved. I had several favorites.

I warned everyone that this roast had to serve us all until the other was ready which wouldn’t be for about a half hour, all those who wanted seconds would just need to wait for a bit. Cathy sat between me and the Nanny so we could help her, James I placed at the head of the table, even though it was my home. Three bottles of a light wine were placed on the table so everyone could have a glass if so desired. James and I refrained and, of course, Cathy and the nanny.

I was stunned that Cathy was so well mannered at the dinner table and aside from being a child she acted very grown up. Some assistance was needed to help cut her food but either Nora or myself provided her with that aid. The only error I saw her make was trying to talk with her mouth full.

“Cathy, chew it all thoroughly and swallow before talking. Take smaller bites.”

“Okay, Mommy,” she placed her hand before her mouth to prevent spillage, her eyes sweeping the table to see if anyone noticed.

She finally swallowed her mouthful in several tries and washed it down with a little milk. The glass was a bit big for her.

“Cathy,” I whispered, “while we are out tomorrow, remind me to purchase some smaller glasses so you will find it easier to hold them.”

She leaned close and whispered back, “I will Mommy.”

She smiled and her eyes sparkled. We were almost holding a secret just between the two of us.

We made it through the first roast. I finally checked the second deciding it was ready and fit for consumption. After slicing it just as I did the other, it was taken out and placed where the platter which held the first roast had been. I discovered the hungry crew were more than ready for it, the ravaging horde. Genghis Kahn’s thousands had nothing on this bunch.

Cathy left nearly half of her meal unfinished, which wasn’t all that unexpected. I prompted her to consume a little more of her vegetables before she was unable to continue. Nearly all of her slice of meat was gone. I got up to help her down from the table then we took our plates out to the kitchen before I began to help her read the book she had selected before she had gone down for a nap. A little later some of the guys came to read with her and I promised that I would return to continue with her after the dishes were finished.

Several of the guys helped with clearing the table bringing everything out to the kitchen. I shanghaied a few of the guys to help with the washing and drying while I took the left overs, packaging them for placement into the refrigerator. With my part in the festivities completed, I went out to be with Cathy.

The first book was nearly completed and I was happily into the motherhood thing with my daughter next to me when I suddenly realised that, Yes ... I was indeed into the motherhood thing. I looked at this young lady leaning against me and who had been calling me ‘Mommy’. Light tears filled my eyes as I began holding her gently next to me.

Cathy sensed something, looking up at me, “What’s wrong, Mommy? Why are you crying?”

“Mommy loves you, baby. I was just thinking how sad I would be if you weren’t here.”

She snuggled in closer, “I’m here, Mommy. Don’t cry.”

That had exactly the opposite effect and my tears really began to flow. I wrapped my arms around her hugging her close, “Mommy loves you, baby.”

She stood up next to me on the couch wrapping her arms around my neck,

“I love you too, Mommy.”

I simply had to find an understanding doctor ... Right away!

The guys vacated the room when I began to read to Cathy but a couple of others came in. Upon seeing the female moment they discreetly vacated as well. Two more were headed off by them as I noticed them head back down the hall toward the living room. My female moment lasted at least another minute before I realized I needed to talk more with James about the information he had found. We didn’t go in to the office so it didn’t get printed for me to read. I needed to look at it so I could take notes and find a doctor with whom I could talk about this ... this ... whatever this was. Finally I made it past my tears, calmed down and came to earth once again.

“Cathy, do you want to read another book?”

She was all for that. I placed the one we finished, more or less, into the stack after she selected another. In moments we began reading. A few pages in, a couple of the guys peeked in and I commandeered them to read with Cathy while I found James. I told Cathy that, “I need to talk with Daddy for a few minutes. Do you need Mr. Bear to come read with you, too?”

She did, of course, and named a couple of the other agents as well. I headed out going to the living room where I found everyone else. I asked James, "Could we talk and would you please bring your suitcase thing along?"

Next I let the guys know that Cathy wanted some of her friends to read with her. Half the guys got up to head on down the hall. I made a mental note of who was going since they were likely the ones with children at home. James and I retired to my office where I could look at his suitcase screen and take notes.

There I explained my need to find doctors to help me on my way to womanhood and to help me to complete whatever needed to be done to eventually take me there. I didn’t bother telling him that my daughter was in the other room reading a book. He would just need to learn that over time. I began to pay more attention to his mannerisms and quirks, some of which were endearing and some of which were infuriating. After an hour of reading I was armed with more data and at least had a half-baked idea of the path I needed to take. The only real problem I’d seen concerning James and myself was we were both Alpha’s. If I could refrain myself from tearing his throat out then we might just get along.

There were three good possibilities for my mental health assistance, and three as well for the actual surgeries. I needed to do some homework before deciding. There were a large number of others but as near as I was able to make out these six were the most prominent which weren’t still directly involved with any governmental programs. I needed to keep it all close to home since my business had so many jobs occurring during these next five months I couldn’t get away for very long nor very far. If we counted the if-maybe’s as jobs then we would need ‘all hands on deck’. We could still use a few more jobs for each month but what we had pretty well sewn up wasn’t bad and we stood to make a little money as well. A few more high end jobs would be gravy. We might make it back into the Filet Mignon yet.

Hearing voices; no, not that kind, I decided reading time had ended and thanked James for his herculean efforts on my behalf. Excusing myself I went out to claim Cathy and to take her up and prepare her for bed. That was an interesting task, selecting PJ’s and brushing her hair for fifteen minutes, as well as again the next morning, getting her to wash her face and clean her teeth (not one of her favorite tasks). Finally, I had her ready for her prayers then into bed. One of her prayers was for me (Mommy) not to cry. She explained that she used to pray for me (Mommy) to come back, but now that I was here, she didn’t want me to be sad. I explained that sometimes tears were for when we were happy as well. That was a concept she had trouble understanding and I wasn’t ready to go into any detail just yet.

She settled into the bed then I tucked her in, gave her a kiss on her forehead and turned out the light. “I’ll leave the door open just a little, baby.”

“But Mommy, I’m not a baby anymore.”

“You’ll always be a baby to me, sweetheart. You’re my baby.”

She gave me a little scowl.

“Cathy, that’s a good thing. Much better than being someone else’s baby.”

That was another idea which was a little difficult for her to understand so she just smiled and I blew her a kiss goodnight, then closed the door down except for the last few inches, listening for a few moments before I quietly made my way downstairs to see what all the guys were up to. During my journey I stumbled across James.

“James, I want to thank you for all that research you did for me. It’s wonderful to have those doctor’s names and actually have some idea of who to talk to and what can actually be done.”

“You’re welcome, Lynn. My pleasure.”

“James, not to change the subject but, does anyone manufacture a computer which a private person could easily use? Those things Phillip and Grace play with drive me a little crazy. I can think of so many uses but no one sells one which I understand and might be able to use.”

“Well, that’s a bit of what my company is all about. We are trying to develop programming which will allow more people to use computers and which will allow computers to do more without needing a lot of external changes to do each job. That way they could be used for more projects around the home. Things like writing letters so you can store the letter and be able to reference back to it at any time, or make small changes to it so it could be sent to someone else such as form letters or billings could be a big help and speed things quite a bit. How about a recipe database, or maybe medical records. There are a lot of ideas out there but right now the computers and their programming haven’t caught up although there are a lot of companies working hard to that end. Both on the programming side and on the part of manufacturers of the processing hardware who are trying to make things smaller as well as more capable. It’s a difficult fight.

Give us all ten years and you’ll probably see one as powerful as the ones at your business but small enough to sit on the corner of any desk. I could teach you some of the stuff used now. It isn’t that difficult and you would probably catch on pretty quickly. You’re pretty smart.”

He saw me blush and continued, “I mean it. You catch onto things quickly. I think some of the programs I use would be good for you to use as well. There are some which you don’t need but the basic office stuff you could learn. For now the problem still happens to be that computers are larger than the size of your desk when they have enough memory and mass storage to be worthwhile. Another small problem is keeping them cool and the electric bill each month. For now, with a few weeks training you could wow Phillip.”

“I remember it cost quite a bit to get our part of the building wired so Phillip and Grace could connect with ARPANET and we had to jump through a bunch of hoops to get permission. Would the same connection work for the computer I might use or would I need a new one?”

“Unfortunately we would need to add a few things to allow you to use one here and you would likely be spending much of your time trying to get it to do the things you wanted to accomplish just yet. What you want in a computer is likely a decade or two away. I’m sorry Lynn. As you can see, the equipment I use to talk with Cathy isn’t even what I would call a computer although some day I believe we will be able to not only use a computer to process information and prepare correspondence but we will be able to send letters to each other over the Network and perhaps even send video files or achieve and archive live video conferences through the computers.”

“James, speaking of Cathy, when we go out tomorrow I want her to come along with us. If I begin dating you, I want her to have the opportunity to just be a little girl and to grow up like any other little girl with all the fanfare and pictures and scrapbooks and diaries so she doesn’t miss anything. So she will have those memories when she is grown up, memories of the joy she had just being a little girl. That’s something I never had and most people like me never will have. I miss it even though I never had any of it as a female. If I have anything to say about it, I won’t have Cathy miss it. You’ll need to get accustomed to that. If I decide to be her mother then she is going to have a normal childhood and all that entails.”

James was very quiet as I ranted. When I finished he came over and gently hugged me allowing me after a minute to lower my head onto his shoulder as he continued to hold me close.

“People like you? I hadn’t even given that any thought ... Of course there must be others who have the same needs you do.”

He paused and I could see his eyes lose their focus as he seemed to give that some thought. It was almost like he had created a file in his mind and was secreting it away in some filing cabinet that only he could access. Then, a few seconds later, his face changed and he continued.

“Lynn, there isn’t any way I can say this without sounding like I’m trying to force you into something. That isn’t how I want this to sound. Any time you want to become a part of this family and have a continual say in Cathy’s welfare, just say so. For now, you are doing a terrific job at being her temporary mother and I’ve never seen her happier. Lady ... I mean that by the way ... Lady... I have met a lot of women in passing ever since my wife died. I’ve dated no one and haven’t even considered the possibility. I don’t know what it is about you that piqued my interest but I am interested. I was so convinced that you were a woman when you told me you weren’t ... I just couldn’t believe it. I’m still not certain ... ”

“Any time ... ”

“I know. What I’m trying to say, and not doing a very good job of it Lynn, is I’m not going to push. I would like to date with you a bit whenever we have the chance and I know that won’t be often. I would also like to let Cathy stay with you once in a while, IF and this is a big if, IF you happen to consider marrying me and becoming a mother to Cathy. Meanwhile, as often as possible when we get together, I would like to include Cathy just as you said before. She is very precious to me and I like to see her happy. You help her to be that way. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know you don’t need to do it, but I’m so glad you are.”

By the time he finished speaking I had tears in my eyes. I couldn’t tell if he did because mine were in the way. I hugged him, tight, and gave him a short kiss ... yes, on his lips. He started to talk again and I burst out bawling, turned and ran-stumbled my way upstairs to my room. I threw myself on my bed and had a good cry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. In just a little more than a week I’ve become an emotional wreck. I can’t do this ... It isn’t fair to Cathy. She needs a mother and I’m not even a woman.

I’ve never been a little girl; well, not exactly. Oh yeah ... Now how am I supposed to be able to give her a birds and bees talk and explain things to her when she begins to experience that one event so particular to females the world over. She will be looking to me for answers and I won’t have them because I have never experienced them. It isn’t fair to her. She needs a real mother. A female mother.

Then why am I crying now?.. Because I can’t be a real female or because I can’t be her mother?.. Or maybe both.

Part way through the night I awakened to hear sounds of anxiety. I got up, grabbed my Beretta before I rushed out of my room searching for the sound’s source. It was coming from Cathy’s room. I was down there and in the room in a flash ready to put down any perp who might be in the room. All I found was a very unhappy three year old who woke up in a strange place and who had no one to comfort her. I spent ten minutes holding her and then led her back to my room so she could share my bed.
That way if she had another panic attack she would have someone to grasp. I explained that when she awakened in the morning I might not be in the bed because I would need to go down to fix breakfast for everyone. I was surprised no one else heard her. Maybe I would make a good mommy. She quickly dropped off to sleep after my kiss to her forehead. All was once again right in her world so it was safe to sleep.

The remainder of the night had followed right in the footsteps of the first with me waking and sleeping and waking again, over and over, with tears in my eyes for Cathy and her need for a mother and tears for me having never experienced being a little girl, so I’m worthless as a substitute. All my thoughts of becoming a woman and raising children had now just become a fantasy because I couldn’t offer them what they really needed, a female figure in their lives.

The next morning I awakened with my right eye glued shut due to tears and my left wasn’t in much better condition. Somehow I made it into my bathroom where my eyes became useful again after I washed my face several times. Eventually I dressed, put on a little mascara and lipstick so I would look semi-dressed then went down to prepare breakfast for the men. About seven I could get Cathy up so we could get her ready for breakfast. She and I would eat together along with the nanny if she didn’t come down earlier as a result of all the noise the guys were likely to make.

I was downstairs mixing pancake batter and cracking open part of another flat of eggs, putting them into a large mixing bowl so I could make scrambled eggs. I was also making home fries and heating sausage. In my spare time I pulled out a gallon container of Log Cabin syrup pouring some of it into five pitchers which held a little over a pint in each. The guys might need more, but that would be a good start.

Just as they were beginning to show up, I shangheid some of them into forced labor having them go to work setting the table as I put the food in the oven to keep it warm even as I cooked more. The two coffee pots had just finishing perking so there would be coffee for them to wake up to. I told them they needed to take care of themselves while I went back upstairs to get Cathy ready for breakfast.

“All the food is cooked, Each of you just needs to place some on a plate for yourself and sit down at the table to eat. Anyone who doesn’t make it to food this time around will just have to wait for me to come back down with Cathy. I’ll cook some more then.”

I tried to sneak into my room but discovered Cathy was awake, just playing possum. When I kissed her forehead she got me in a hammerlock, so I wrapped my arms around her and lifted her off the bed, carrying her to the bathroom. She was all smiles and giggles and very happy to see me. Maybe I could be a fit mother. It would be so wonderful to raise two girls. They would be company for each other as well.

I felt the need to start introducing Cathy to some of the ‘light’ as well as ‘heavy’ classical music, a little of each major kind of music and some opera. Maybe she would even like my favorite. Then there were all the old standby’s. She would need to learn to dance, especially the older styles which continued forever. Waltz, Foxtrot, Cha Cha (bet you forgot about that one, and it’s compatriot the Cha Cha Cha), Samba, big band sounds and swing, ragtime, plus of course, rock and roll. That would likely do for the basics. Maybe she would become interested in ballet. I wasn’t certain if I could handle that. I resolved not to hold my breath on that one.

I liked to ride horses. Maybe she would become interested when she was older and we could ride together. I hoped she would begin to like dogs by the time she was five or six, we could get a pair of German Shepherds. I could train them as well as teach her how to command them for protection use. No, they’re not attack or guard dogs. Protection dogs are much more family oriented and they like “little people”. I had a friend who trained one and whenever his grandniece visited. The dog; a papered, silver sable, female German Shepherd named Daimler von Taublick, but nicknamed ‘bear’ for the way she had appeared when a small puppy - would follow her everywhere. If the family wanted to be near her, not a problem, any stranger was met with a “friendly” furface and, if they got too close, a growl. Family members who didn’t visit all that much were slowly introduced and within an hour or two they were allowed near his grandniece. I don’t know what would have happened if they had pressed the issue before the dog accepted them.

Cathy and I managed to make it through the face washing and hair brushing, as well as the dressing and her assorted morning anxieties at being in a strange new place, then we went down for breakfast.
Don’t ever make the mistake of asking a three year old what they want for breakfast ... Ice cream isn’t a proper nutritional substitute for eggs, ham, sausage, fried potatoes and milk. She doesn’t need to eat a lot of food but she needs a balance and frequent small meals. I even managed to get her to take a vitamin. I had to explain she would not like the taste if she chewed it. It only took her four tries to swallow it. Tomorrow, I hoped, would be easier.

“I don’t know how you did that.”

“Did what, James?”

“I don’t know how you got her to take a vitamin pill.”

I chuckled at him, “It’s a Mommy thing, and Cathy did very well. Didn’t you, baby?”

Cathy said, “All gone Mommy,” before she opened her mouth so we could see.

“Yes, it is. Very good, young lady.” James agreed.

She sipped some more orange juice, obviously very proud of herself. I leaned down to kiss her on the top of her head as she continued eating her breakfast. The Nanny was just finishing her own meal while several of my agents were busy washing and drying some of the dishes. I noted they had one of the newbies helping.

I wound up preparing a little more food for the few who didn’t make it down in time for the first batch and seconds for two of the guys who for some reason needed to eat every scrap of food available in my house and home whenever they came over. I could never understand why they didn’t blow up like balloons but that pair never seemed to put on any fat. They must have extraordinary metabolisms. I considered what they had each eaten versus the one egg, small slice of ham, scoop of cottage cheese and a peach half which had been on my plate ... I still needed to lose some weight.

Cathy was tucking away her breakfast like she hadn’t eaten for a week. She likely weighed about a third to half of my weight, if that, and she was eating as much as I had plus two slices of toast, an extra (small) helping of eggs, and a glass and a half of milk. Of course she was a growing girl. I finished my breakfast then placed my plate and coffee cup into the sink getting a sorrowful eye from the newbie who was doing the washing.

“I cooked, it seems only fair one of you washes,” I mentioned quietly. He gave me a crooked little smile like washing wasn’t his idea but he was out voted, or out maneuvered.

Everyone finally finished breakfast and the dishes were nearly clean. I began to put the cleaned and dried plates and cups away in the cupboard then started on the silverware, checking it for any missed bits as I went. By the time I finished, the guys had the last few items finished and were beginning to put them away.

I asked the Nanny to dress Cathy warmly as we were going to go into town to purchase a few more things and I was going to go to the mall to pick up some warmer clothing for Cathy to wear when playing in the snow.

“Where are you going today, James?”

“This is still one of my relaxing days, I was thinking of going up to do some more skiing and then later this afternoon thought, if you don’t mind, we might go into town to see a movie.”

“Cinderella, Daddy? Please!”

James smiled at Cathy, “I don’t know if that one is going around again Cathy. Maybe we can find another one.”

“Snow White?”

“We’ll see. It depends what’s available. The movies here are probably different than the one’s at home.”

“I’ll check the theater at the mall while we’re there, James. Most of the movies are listed in the paper if you can find what the guys did with it. It might even still be out in the snow for all I know.”

“I think they brought it in, I saw some of them reading a paper earlier but don’t know if it was today’s paper or not. I’ll do some checking.”

I nodded my head then walked out following Cathy and the Nanny who were going upstairs to prepare Cathy for walking outdoors. I wandered off to find my booties. That was a bit of a puzzle, why do booties cost more than boots? Anyway, I also changed into something a little warmer for walking outdoors. It was a long way from the parking lot into the mall. Then too, I needed to be able to shed the jacket, or at least open it because the mall was always too hot during the winter. I gave it a moment’s thought remembering there was a mall Santa so I grabbed my Polaroid, wonderful invention, in the hopes I could convince Cathy to talk to Santa. After a few minutes of search I found a strip of five flash bulbs which I could put into the photoflash attachment, one at a time of course.

The Nanny brought Cathy downstairs shortly after I went down to retrieve my jacket, “Do you mind if I tag along? It’s a bit difficult for me to get in any shopping time and this seems a perfect opportunity.”

“Not at all Nora, the more the merrier. Besides this is a girl’s trip anyway.”

“You’re bringing a camera? Photos of Cathy shopping?”

“That and hopefully S-A-N-T-A as well.”

She looked at me like I was crazy, shaking her head as she did so, “Lots of luck, she doesn’t like S-A-N-T-A since he didn’t bring her mother back.”

“Well, I’m back now so maybe ... ”

“Mommy, what’s ess ay ent tyay?” making four syllables out of my five letters.

“A surprise, baby. I hope it will be a nice one.”

“Oh ... Mommy, can I go see Santa Claus?”

The nanny looked shocked especially since she had just finished telling me that Cathy didn’t like Santa.

“Santa Claus? Are you sure, baby?”

“Yes. He brought you back, it just took a long time. Now I want to ask if we can all live together again.”

Out of the mouths of babes. This was getting out of control. I was beginning to wonder if Cathy had some special connections. Maybe if I gave her my Christmas list to show to Santa...

I crouched down to give my precocious daughter a long hug.

After our hug, I went to the downstairs half bath with my make up and after cleaning my eyes and face put on some makeup again with a touch of eye shadow. Finally feeling human again, I returned to the living room and the three of us wandered out to the garage while James and most of the gang went out to the limo and the chase cars. The agents pulled some of their skiing stuff from the second chase car which was staying here with the few who were remaining at the house.

The first two cars departed even as I was pulling out of the garage after having once again started the driveway and walk heating elements as well as two of the wind generators. I hoped some day the convertors which turned batteries power into commercial power would be replaced with some which were more efficient and created less heat in the basement. At least the driveway heating elements didn’t care if their power was battery power or commercial power, so I didn’t need to convert that power twice. The company which installed the system said that would make it’s use about five percent more efficient.

We tooted horns at each other before they set out and we followed them about thirty seconds later, each going our separate ways. I watched the gates close behind me as I drove away. The agents we had left with the house were obviously in the command center, or at least one of them was.

All characters in this work have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relationship whatsoever to anyone or anything bearing the same name or names. The characters contained herein are not even distantly inspired by any specific individuals known or unknown to the author. All incidents described or alluded to within this work are pure invention. No affiliations, involvements or gender assignations due to the use of any images contained within this work are to be implied, intended or inferred.

Cover image copyright Maps.com and shown for clarification of area in which the story evolves.

DUTY CALLS, L.J. Stevens Vol. One Copyright  © 2012 USA, Earth by R. A. Dumas.

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