CHAPTER 22
Of course, we had to make the introductions to the others, and that was when I realised how sharp Ian’s focus had been on me and Mam, as he hadn’t even noticed the Forster brothers. So many explanations, so much history, and so often his eyes would drift as his mind processed such things as Alec’s presence at John’s side.

“My middle brother Ian; John Wilkins, retired colleague and life-saver”

“Oh, don’t, Jill!”

“Well, it’s true…and Von you might have heard Mam talk about. That’s her boy Will over there with Nelly”

He fixed Valleys Girl with a slightly puzzled look. This was clearly a little outside his world of certainties: people broke up, separated, and cleared off to different paths. They didn’t hang round their old partner as a new style of friend. Especially after their father had just…I could hear the wheels spinning without grip. I looked round for Bethany as Von tried to explain the somersaults her mind had performed, and spotted her with the rest of the young people.

That made sense to me. Darren and Chantelle were never far apart, and James had been particularly open for the whole of the day. I caught my niece grinning as Darren supervised James in his idiosyncratic way of describing his music, and Bethany whispered to me “He’s weird, Aunty Jill”

I put on my best reptile smile. “A quick word, missy?”

Once a few feet away, I gave her a Paddington. “Weird is not a nice word, Bethy”

She blushed. “Didn’t mean like BAD weird, he’s just, like, DIFFERENT”

“He has a few problems, pet. Autism, aye?”

“Bit like Hays?”

“Not at all, love. Look…your sister, aye? She’s…I don’t like the word retarded, but, well, there’s only so much she can learn. James isn’t like that”

Bethany sniffed. “Don’t care what she is, she’s my big sis and she should be happy”

There was a flash of maturity to her just then. “Like, this new place, yeah? It’s all others like her, she gets to talk to people and they can’t put her down, cause they is all at the same height, same level, yeah? And when she was with Mum all day, nobody to talk to, and she’d break things, and the arguments with the rents…she’s happy…”

I hugged her. “You love her, aye?”

In a very small voice. “Yeah. Mum’s a real bitch to her”

Too much like work for Ellen, and she was never a fan of that pastime. Boost her self-importance as a school governor, yes; actually put her hand to a figurative plough, well, pigs would fly. Bethany sank her head against my breasts, which warmed me beyond words.

“James…what is he?”

“James, hinny, is a beautiful boy who can’t talk to people. What he isn’t is stupid. Just think of him as a sort of bit deaf, bit blind, like”

“He’s got lovely eyes…”

Oh dear. “I see. Look…what he has is a sort of failure in being able to communicate, to read people, and you are seeing him at his very best today, aye? It seems…well, with Darren he seems to have found a link, like a pipeline so he can talk. Keep it to yourself, like, but see the older man I introduced your Dad to? Mr Wilkins? He’s sort of the same, but milder, like. Do you see? Can I have a promise?”

“Like what?”

“Be nice to James. Let him start any talking, aye? And please, no touching. He doesn’t get signals. Not like other boys”

A squeeze. “But he is well fit!”

She stepped back a little. “You got weird friends, Aunty Jill”

“I have true friends, Bethy. Much more important, aye? Now, be nice to him”

She giggled. “That girl, yeah? She got that Darren tied up like a tied up thing”

I smiled. “You fancy him as well?”

A true flash of maturity then, or at least an attempt at it. “Well, weddings is for like checking out the talent, int they? I’ll be good. Promise”

I turned back to see where my brother had gone, as Bethy returned to those of her age, and with a shudder I saw that he had finally collided with Annie’s red-haired lunatic. I scampered across; I could think of no other verb considering the shoes I was wearing.

“Hiya, Jill! Just correcting a few thought crimes in the tool of the Patriarchy here!”

I reached behind me for support, to find Larinda’s hand there ready, as it usually was.

“And have you left the edged weapons at home? Airport security a bit tight, aye?”

“Fuck no, just put the katana in the hold baggage, not a problem. He’s too bright for a hired killer, anyway”

Ian looked at me. “Runs in the family, Ginny”

“Yeah, but what you doing with the hellbitch, then?”

As straight to the heart as ever. This was Ginny in serious mood, I realised. Ian looked around for Bethany, and seeing her safely with the others he sighed.

“Valley commando, aye? Got back from Germany…oh shit, Jill, you remember Lauren, the hairdresser?”

Years and years back, when we were still speaking, and he had lost weight, and his hair had been highlighted, and she was a delight. It was clear how stuck on her my brother had been, and then something had happened, something he never mentioned, and she was gone from his life as if she had never existed.

“Aye, pet, she was a canny lass”

“Aye, she was…”

Pain flickered in his eyes. “Squaddies and beer, aye? A few too many times turning up at her Mam’s when I should have known better, and, well, her Mam wasn’t stupid, and…”

And then a disco in Tidworth, and a girl of sixteen who wanted a billet and an income, with parents who shared that worldview, and bang, two months gone and the true depth of her humanity only coming out when they saw the hand genetics had dealt their first child. I realised Kate was next to her wife, and she was nodding.

“Happened to Stewie over there too, but…no, not today, your Mam’s day, yeah? Seriously, we are not trying to dig out your secrets, Ian, just we feel a bit protective sometimes. Lot of history here”

Ginny nodded. “Fuck yeah. Lots of shit and damage and pain and shit. But that’s not what we got now, it’s–“

She looked at Kate, who just gave a little head shake. “No, not that simile”

She turned back to Ian. “While my beloved here is full of life and invention, when it comes to her choice of analogy there is an instant failure in her settings for taste and sanity”

That was when Ian snorted half his beer out, fortunately into his glass, and laughed in the most natural way I had heard in years.

“Fuck me, sister dear, you have some barking mates!”

Kate smiled. “And very good ones. Welcome to our coven, circle, group, whatever. Jill was worried about you, how you would play this. Thank you for being what we should have expected from her brother”

Von was at my side now. “Aye. Took me a while to see, innit? But, well, think you see clearer if it comes harder”

She started to laugh. “Haven’t heard ‘Valley commando’ in years, see?”

Ian smiled. “Load of Taffs in the recon troop, like, so we got the lessons. Pity I didn’t learn from them, really”

Again the flicker as his mind worked. “Siobhan, aye?”

“Von”

And then it clicked. This was the Von of my earliest days with her, the charmer…you naughty bitch!

I understood right then what Ian was going through, the mental leaps and twists, as I ran through a whole series of options in my mind. Von had clearly decided to smile nicely at my brother, and, well, if any two were suited it was her and Ian, but he had his younger daughter with him, his wife at a hotel, another daughter…my hand was tugged hard.

“No, lover. Not now. He wants to move on, let him. Look at me, yeah? How long I spent with Mr Max Power? Look at Rach”

“Aye, pet, but, well, what if it turns into shite?”

She sighed. “How old are we all? How many mistakes we all made, yeah? Just, this time, best they make their own choices. Just, well, perhaps try and see they both stay sober. Oh, and mine’s a white wine”