There are some trans people who somehow never doubt who they are, and can easily withstand any pressure to be anybody else.
But not me, I get moments of doubt.
When I was young, this doubt came partially out of fear - the fear that I had to be insane to have this feeling of femininity coming out of a body that was anything but female. So trying to disbelieve the feelings came a form of protection against that fear.
The other part of the doubt came out of guilt - I knew pretty early on that to want to be a girl was wrong, so one way to fight against them was to repeatedly tell myself that they were not real, hoping to overcome the desire to be female in that way.
Now, even after I've begun a transition, the habit of doubting myself remains, and periodically I have to work my way through it one shaky moment at a time.
Ah, well.
Comments
That's a good thing (in my opinion)
Doubting yourself now and again, as long as the doubt doesn't become overwhelming, is a good thing. It can make you think about yourself, make you reflect on who you really are, and strengthen your confidence in yourself.
"This is who I am, and I know that because I've thought about it many times", instead of "This is who I am, and I never bothered to think about it".
Of course, this is in no way limited to gender issues ...
--- Martin (my opinion, yours may be different of course)