CHAPTER 13
It was a morning of groans and shamed faces. Karen was particularly smug for some reason, and I collared her as I poured tea and she worked on eggs and bacon, sausage and mushrooms, ready to tweak a couple of hangovers.

“Oh, isn’t it obvious? He owes me one now, so I can hold it over him like a Swiss Army Knife of Damocles or something”

“You what?”

“Well, haven’t decided what my options are, yeah, or what he can do to make up for it”

“Karen, I think he was sort of, like, James and all, aye?”

She smiled. “Yes, I know, and of course I would never hold that against him, but, well, he doesn’t have to know that bit, does he? Keep them wondering, works a treat”

“You are a devious cow, lass!”

She grinned. “I was going to say you’ll learn, but then that one of yours beats me hands down. JAMES!”

He appeared at the kitchen door, only slightly adrift.

“Can you please go and see if your father is awake and if he is tell him his breakfast will be cold if he does not hurry”

James disappeared, and Karen raised an eyebrow. “Have to spell it out, or he’d be back here to report that yes, he is awake. Tea? Ta!”

I hadn’t bothered with hair that morning, just a cloth to keep it from looking a bit too surreal. We gathered around the table at Larinda’s insistence, and I watched James as he ate. Such an advance, though I saw him count his beans. John looked embarrassed.

“You OK, John?”

“I was intoxicated, wasn’t I?”

Terry grinned through his headache. “Oh yes!”

Karen just muttered “Takes one to know one…” and there was actually a smile from the older man.

“May I say something, Jill?”

“Of course, John. Friends here, aye?”

James was nodding. “Yes, friends. We are all friends”

John nodded in turn. “Yes. That would appear to be true. Alcohol…it has never been something I have overindulged in. I…I do not like to be out of control, as it is a dangerous state to enter. Last night, I felt….”

He paused, looking around the table. “I felt I had no need for caution, for what on reflection must be the first time in decades. I have never been one for friends, in my life, but last night, even though there were strangers there, I was amongst friends. It is a new sensation for me. Thank you”

Karen reached across for his hand. “No need, my friend. We have more of our son now than we have ever had before, and that is partly down to you. I mean, I have to say that. Young Darren has woven quite a spell, but you are there in the mix”

James smiled, and once more it was open and warm. “When can we see the birds again, John?”

“Whenever you want to, boy. I am at work several days of the week…well, they call it work, but it is no labour, no hardship....You were absolutely right, Jill, in suggesting that post. When will you visit next?”

I had to laugh at that one. “John, I may now be free of both hospital and court, like, but I still have what used to be called gainful employment. I’m not yet a lady of leisure”

Karen grinned. “Got you a pressie. Nearly forgot! James, can you please go to the bedroom that we used?”

“There are three bedrooms, Mum”

“Then please go to the one that Dad and I slept in, OK? Bring my handbag. Bring it to the table, please”

He was back in a minute, and Karen took a while to look round the table. “Look, some of you know this, some of you might not, and I actually don’t feel I am breaking a confidence. I mean, Jill’s a bit sort of ‘out’ now, agreed?”

There was laughter, and she let it run before raising a hand. “Right…a little while ago I went out for the day, with hubby and lad, to one of my best friend’s favourite places. It was a glorious day, and that friend did a lot, in a very little space of time, to bring said lad a little more into tune with the world”

“You are talking about the bird place, Mum. Where I counted types and heard the forte fortissimo”

“Yes, son. You are absolutely right. But who did we go with?”

He looked straight at me. “Jill”

“But was it Jill then?”

“Yes. Always Jill. Hiding in a Robskin but it was Jill”

“That is right, son, but nobody knew about the hiding then. And that was the day I was honoured, because I was the first person she told. Do you remember how you did that, Jill?”

I could actually feel myself blushing, so I just nodded.

She smiled. “Have you told the story to these people?”

“No. It sort of came out in other ways”

“Well, boys and girls, you have to imagine the scene. I can see there is something really twisting about behind her eyes, something she just has to tell, and we are sat there talking about the past, even though I have got rid of the two boys so she has a chance to talk, and yet she is still waffling. So I ask straight out, why are we here?”

“I remember. Bit bloody pushy, like”

“It worked, didn’t it? Anyway, after a bit of filler about parents and children, she ends up pointing at my T-shirt and gives a little wave”

She paused, still grinning. John looked puzzled, so Karen again lifted a hand to forestall interruption. She reached into her bag and brought out a small package.

“They don’t make them any more, so I sort of went naughty and got one printed”

It was pink, and as I held it up the understanding rose in John’s eyes, and Larinda just snorted.

“Girls ride bikes too” read the slogan, and I felt the circle close. John had come to an understanding about friendship, and I was there with him. That was the shirt that had turned my life around. I couldn’t speak, so I just hugged her. So simple a gift, so deep a meaning.

The morning was vanishing in a haze of happiness and refilled cups when the doorbell rang. It was Von, with Will just behind her. I met his eyes across her shoulder and he gave me a short nod.

“Kettle’s just boiled, lad! Come on in”

Von paused at the door with me, cocking her head to one side as Will went through to the others.

“If I didn’t already realise how impossible it would have been, I would have said you’d set me up”

“You mean Ginny and Kate?”

“I mean bloody all of them! There’s not a normal one there!”

She wasn’t exactly shouting, but there was an edge to her voice. “Von, come in, sit down for a bit, aye?”

We managed to squeeze people into chairs and settee, the boys sitting on the floor, but I couldn’t let that one slide, and I indicated the others. “Normal, Von? These are all normal people”

“I am not normal” said James, unhelpfully.

“Yes you are, son, and don’t even think about it John! Von, love, these are people, just like you and me, and just like the people who put you up last night!”

“Did you know one of them used to be a man?”

“Which one, pet?”

“That Stephanie”

“So you didn’t spot Annie as well then?”

Von’s eyes widened. Forgive me, Annie, for breaching your confidences. Deep breath again.

“See her boy, Darren? Is he normal?”

“But how can she have a boy if….?”

She waved vaguely at her crotch.

“People adopt, Von. Some normal people can have kids, some normal ones can’t. Did the girl in the pink look odd to you? All over her boyfriend despite what her parents are, aye? Look, pet, it wasn’t deliberate, that’s just who I have as friends. But they are all normal, none of them are evil, nobody made them different. Well, apart from a little surgery, of course. Just, well, the bounds of normality, the envelope, it’s a bit wider than you’ve accepted before”

“Well, considering my boyfriend has decided to become a woman I haven’t been handed a very normal life, is it?”

“Von, welcome to my side of things. Look, we’ve had an evening, and you’ve had a morning. Where do we stand? Where does Will stand, rather, as he’s the one this is all about, like”

She looked round the room, weighing us with her eyes. Man in woman’s clothing, two middle-aged women, one middle-aged man, one distracted youth, one older man. Her gaze settled on me.

“Do you know what you look like, Jill?”

I hazarded a guess. “Bloke in drag?”

“Yes. No! No, not like that. You are not pretty, Jill, you never will be if I am to be truthful, but…it’s after the court, and last night, aye, and….I can see it. You never were right for me. You did what you could to close me out, and that hurt, aye, hurt like hell, but you were right. I can see that now”

I was doing a lot more than shut you out, Von…I left that unspoken, but I caught the flicker in Karen’s eyes as she made her own silent response. I looked across at Will, as he stared at his mother as if trying to send some telepathic message.

“Where do we stand, Von? You, me, Will, his Bamps?”

She looked down at her knees, and once more I realised she was about to cry. Her voice was just barely audible.

“You stayed with your Mam went he went for his look-see, didn’t you?”

“Aye, we did”

“Would she forgive me, do you think? It’s just, my boy is going to go to college, and if there were someone up there who cared…”

I thought of the people who already cared: Neil, Ralph, Mam, the Forsters when they were about.

“That is already arranged, pet”

“I…I will speak to Dad. He must know this ends, aye? I mean, not this, but what he’s doing, what I did, what…the evil we brought. For Will’s sake, aye?”

I took her hand. “For Will, but also for all of us. Ah shite…hello, my name’s Jill Carter, and this is my other half Larinda. Are you a friend?”