Lead Shoes-11

Chapter 11

* Nearly a month later.

Will and I have been dating. Like really dating and in a relationship with on our Facebook pages and it’s been sort of just the same really but at the same time not. He’s changed since I said yes. There’s a lot of us holding hands, and kissing.

Oh I am so starting to like kissing and being kissed and making out and necking.

We made out at the movies one night and he gave me a hickie. I proudly wore it to school. Mom and I talk a lot about boys more and about sex too and it’s not like the birds and the bees talk its real and even the stuff about guys is the stuff she’s learned about how they think and not the whole stereotypes of them.

She’s kind of relieved that I’m not into the whole butt sex thing. I’m really not. I want to have sex with a guy someday but I want him to be with me like the rest of the girls.

Ideally to me and maybe this was a leftover from grandmother and the church thing but I want to be married when I lose my virginity.

I think Mom’s proud of that.

And it ticks me and Sami off that people think that all t-girl do is think about sex and are all like latent porn stars.

Okay I might have dreams of will and I being married and me being His little porn start but that’s like normal right?

Yeah Sami, she dropped an M from her name feeling it was too cutesy and that Sami was more ethnic. She’s getting into her culture a bit more and stuff. She’s learning all this dancing stuff and its soooo cool to watch and I’m kind of jealous that, that won’t be me.

Until Will asked me to go to the dance at school.

Like him getting dressed up and me getting dressed up and going to the dance and me actually dancing. I mean I can try the slow stuff and a few other things with the brace-boots and stuff now and stuff and I was never this mobile before.

It’s hard using the boots too because they are high heeled and that works for my foot and how they tend to do the point down thing but my knees have a bit of that turn and the boots have a brace in them for that but holding them sort of straight hurts after awhile.

Though it gave my physio guys and idea.

I’m getting these adjustable knee braces that are going to be slowly tightened on one side to try and get things to shift/adjust to being straight over time like a corset trains a waist.

I’m willing to try anything really and since I’m still growing it might make a difference later on or it might not but I’m going to take the chance.

They got the idea because I’ve started to wear a corset. It sort of helps a bit with my back and stuff but I want the waist and stuff since I’m putting on girl weight in the right places.

But none of that matters because I’m going to the dance.

And it’s on our one month anniversary.

I so didn’t know that until will mentioned it.

Just that having a one month anniversary with someone is so cool…I blush and smile just thinking about it.

He never left, he never get’s turned off by me being TG or my CP issues and we’ve been together a month.

A month…I’m in a relationship.

My back hurts, my legs are killing me in my brace-boots and I don’t care. I stare at myself in the mirror of the changing room and I’m in a dress. I’m in a dress and I’m buying a whole new outfit for the dance.

I’m going to the Dance!!!

I look in at my reflection and smile at what I see. I mean it’s me and I’m getting more used to being me like the real me but today is so different. I’m going out to the dance with will and this is the very first dance I’ll have ever been to in my life.

I’m going to be dancing.

I look at my reflection and I look pretty. I look actually really nice and I’m wearing a grey tunic dress with ruffled cuffs and a ruffled cloth skirt with a not too deep plunging neckline and it has this almost tattoo styled line of flowers on the sides done in yellow embroidered thread. It’s really kind of girly and sort of street and hot to because the main flowers are lilies and they come out from the sides just enough to cup my breasts.

I really, really like my breasts. I mean sure there’s that part of it but just standing here in the mirror with my bra just peeking a bit but my cleavage showing so…right, nice I feel just so…I feel like a girl and that’s a huge thing.

I shimmy a bit back and forth just mostly my upper torso and love the swish of the dress and the way that I bounce.

Yes, yes, yes:)

I walk out to show Sami and Mom who’s with me and I strut. Well I can’t really strut but a slow careful lady like walk which for me after practicing it feels like strutting to me. It’s one of the reasons why I’m hurting is nine stores, and this is my fortieth something outfit and getting to shop like the other girls and model the clothing just like the other girls I just had to model and strut.

It’s why I’m really sore and why I’ll likely have a rough night tonight and morning too but right now it’s just this really amazing time and experience.

“So you guys what do you think?”

Mom looks at me and gives me the thumbs up. “Another winner, you like it?”

“Yeah I do. Sami?”

“It’s so perfect! I’m not usually a fan of grey but with your hair it just matches so well with the flowers and the whole thing makes your eyes just pop!”

“Cool, I thought so too but it always helps to have another set of eyes on an outfit.”

Sami looks at me. “So which one are you going to choose?”

“This one definitely this one, I love the look it has with my boobs.”

I look at Mom. “This one definitely this one.” I had narrower it down from forty some choices to five really nice dresses.

“You sure/”

“Oh yes please?”

“Well lets go and pay for it then we’ve other things to get.”

“Okay…like what/”

“Purse and a nice jacket. You need to wear your brace-boots so footwear’s handled you don’t need to buy shoes so lets get a nice purse and a nice jacket.”

“Really?”

“Yeah really.”

I’m sore but so excited that it doesn’t stop me from pulling out a full on squee with Sami and Mom. I really think she’s been yearning a long time to have a daughter because she is really happy about all of this.

She actually goes all out with me.

I mean it’s not that getting too girlied up and stuff but it’s getting girly. Shopping for a cool outfit, getting stuff to go with it. Having a full salon thing done…she even paid for Sami. It’s the spa thing and the mud and the massage.

Oh god there is this thing with these heated stones they do that just was so soothing and wonderful it put me to sleep. Waxing and mani-pedi, this string thing for my eyebrows and a new nice hairstyle. It’s sort of that relaxed cool chick Avril Levine thing now and I have highlights.

Mom’s getting all this done too but in her own style and that’s cool because there’s people that assume stuff with her having all the tattoos and the fact that she works at a bar. She looks really hot all cleaned up too.

And OMG she got her hair chopped! She has this look that is short and yet it makes her look younger and really sexy. Like that Annie Lennox singer.

We get home and I was right about pushing myself. I woke up crying because in hurt so bad about three in the morning having cramping and tightening so bad it felt like bones were going to snap.

Mom.

Mom came in and she carried me to her room and she gave me some of my pills and held me and she made a call and stayed home from work to massage things out as best she could why I cried and even lost it a bit as I started to freak out about going all spazzy tonight and not being able to go and dance with Will.

You know that they love you when they’re crying because you’re in pain.

I finally loosened up enough to sleep once the muscle relaxers and the antispasmodics kicked in and I heard her on the phone about ten? I’m awake by three and she takes me to the hospital. I’m fine…sort of but she talked to my doctors and they see me long enough to give me the Botox shots which does help a lot but also a few cortisone shots well a few places and a really big needle…into places in my feet, and ankles and mostly in my knees.

My M.D. specialist actually massaged me until stuff felt better a lot better even if it’s just temporary since she couldn’t fit me into the physio department with out an appointment.

“Because a girl’s first dance is important.”

I hug her really tight and say. “Thank you, Thank you, Thank you…I…I dream of dancing…I’ve wanted to so bad for so long that it…it…just hurt…and now I’m getting to go and with my boyfriend and…Thank you.”

We all had a good little girly bawl at that and Mom drove us home and she picked up supper at pizza hut and we ate as I was getting ready.

“Oh Mom I’m so nervous…I’ve wanted this for so long.”

“I know honey, I’m so happy that you are getting to have this chance.”

I hear the doorbell and Mom goes and answers it and Will’s there.

Oh my god.

He’s cut his long skater boy hair. He’s got this really nice clean cut style and he’s not in his usual clothes either. He’s wearing charcoal dress pant s and real shoes like the kind made from leather and you have to polish and stuff and no shirt with a tie but a nice cotton sweater that looks really good on him with a v-neck. All his piercings are replaced with these simple nice classy looking gold ones and just a simple cross on a chain.

Even a jacket a nice one and wow…just wow.

He take’s my breath away and then he does it again when he comes over and from under the jacket he gives me a red rose.

I’ve never had a flower give to me…I smell it and I’m almost crying it’s such a powerful thing…I mean no…no idea it’s mean this to me…never even thought about it before and now getting the cleaned up for me making this special for me boyfriend and that single red rose thing…I’m fighting my tears for all that I’m worth and I’m shaking and it’s nerves. Good happy shaky nerves like every girl GG or TG should have and not my CP.

I lift my head to look and him and he leans in and gives me a light but very sweet kiss.

“Happy anniversary Mikayla. You look so…I dreamed of tonight all week with us and I really never came close to how amazing and beautiful you really are.”

“Will…” my voice fails me and there’s these huge big glomphy make up wrecking happy tears running down my face.

The he…he just has to smile at me and say. “I get it…I get it…here.” He pulls me into a hug and wraps me in his arms and guides my head to his shoulder and holds me…holds me as I hang onto him and cry…I’m happy but it’s like I’m overloaded and Will just holds me and then he takes his phone out and he does somethings and music starts to play. “All I ever needed.” By Bret Michaels.

Then…then he starts to dance with me…

There you lay, and here I stand.
He knelt down on his knees and took her by the hand.
We've seen some good times, been through some bad.
But somewhere between the laughter and the tears
We sure had a lot of great years.

He said
We didn't need fortune we didn't need fame
Just a little shelter from the rain
Your hand to hold on to
When times got tough you pulled me through
We didn't need a castle made of stone
Just you there as I grow old
Your heart to hold on to
All I ever needed was you.

Remember our first dance and our first kiss
I pictured my life with you to be just like this.
You stood by me
I stand by you
We share the laughter, joy, and pain
But its a moment like this I hope it never ends

We didn't need fortune we didn't need fame
Just a little shelter from the rain
Your hand to hold on to
When times got tough you pulled me through
We didn't need a castle made of stone
Just you there as I grow old)
Your heart to hold on to
All I ever needed was you.

Share my life with you girl yeah, oh yeah
I thank you for sharing your life with me
For giving me a reason to believe
For loving me for who I am...

We didn't need fortune we didn't need fame
Just a little shelter from the rain
Your hand to hold on to
When times got tough you pulled me through.
We didn't need a castle made of stone
Just you there as I grow old
Your heart to hold on to
All I ever needed
All I ever needed was you.
You're all I ever needed.......