If you came across a fork in the road, which path would you choose?

---

I remember that night so vividly. I still have nightmares about it. Ever since ten years ago, I don’t think I’ve ever slept soundly.

The night where she lied, bloodied, cradled in my arms.

I didn’t know what would become of me. I didn’t care. I could live the rest of my life as a woman if I had Miriam by my side. Even if all my dreams, desires, and goals for the future all disappeared, I could have been content being her wife just as much as being her husband.

But it didn’t happen. She died taking a gunshot wound in order to protect me. She never knew my ability. Not even I knew at what lengths I could survive such damaging attacks, but it didn’t matter. She died because someone found out. Someone found out I was Wyld.

Whatever jubilation I felt had quickly dissipated. The pleasuring, the moaning, the intensity; it made me feel dirty, and guilty. The fact I truly did enjoy it only made me feel worse.

I sat naked, my wet body dripped bathwater as it soaked into the sheets of my bed below. I didn’t bother drying off, let alone turn on the lights. All I could do it stare at myself, flabbergasted by what I’ve done.

---

The next day came. Silverwisp was having a bonfire tonight. It was sort of a get together, perhaps for the last time. Ian was a president now, and as such the chances of him ever being able to do this again would be quite slim.

I put on the manliest things I knew. No dressing up, no looking pretty. I may not be able to hide all the curves my body possesses but damn it if I wasn’t gonna try. After my night last night, I’d rather not think about the beautiful body that was cursed to me.

And let’s be honest, after all the mental drain, I really didn’t feel up to anything. But I do value my friendship. Though I may not be as forthright with them at times, they’re still my family. I would fight to the death for any one of them.

It was a little after dark as we arrived at Silverwisp’s little grove. Today it was Fey neighborhood; a 2 to 3 mile area covered entirely of forest. The trees were so tall it practically covered the sky entirely. Having a bonfire in such a place may seem a little haphazard, but the trees and other fauna were of an enchanted nature. Fire couldn’t harm it.

Seeing me arrive gave Silverwisp a mixed sense of happiness and disappointment. I could see that all the girls were dressed mighty nice for the occasion. It seemed that Silverwisp was wearing a miniature version of the dress I had on last night.

“Hey there!” She cried as fluttered over and gave me a hug. “I was hoping you’d wear your dress again today. We all hoped you’d be dressing up along with us.”

I shrugged her off with my hand as I walked by, and weakly replied, “I didn’t feel it was necessary.”

I made my way over to the campfire where the girls, Marcus, Ian, even Eel was waiting for me. Being the courteous gentlemen he was, Eel was offering up his seat, but I turned him down. I felt just fine standing at the moment.

“Hey there,” Ian began. “So you made it to my setting off party, yeah?”

“Yeah,” I answered lightly, “I figured this might be the last time we all see each other, seeing we all have our own jobs ahead of us.”

“I’m sure we’ll see each other again,” Marcus chimed in. “With all the activity going on here we’ll all need to work together to make this city run as smooth as possible.”

“We’ll be more like working partners at that point,” Fatima said, “It will be hard to just have casual time like this.”

“Well, was it any different than we were in battle?” I queried. “I mean we all worked together to achieve our common goals.”

“But that was different,” Fatima came in. “When I came in I had no one, but now I have you, Huriyah. And everyone else here as well.”

“Yeah,” Trish continued. “We’ve all been together for quite awhile, so obviously working so close to each other had brought us closer together.”

“It just won’t be a daily thing anymore,” Ian admitted. “Hell just next week I have to travel halfway around the world, establish relationships and whatnot. Diplomacy is quite the thankless job, you know?”

Sure enough the conversation I started moved along quite well without me. My mind was just lost as all I can remember was Miriam. I felt like I’ve wronged her. That I would carelessly forget all about her. I gave in to this…this thing that I reside in. And how I wish I could break free, but here I remain, trapped like a prisoner in my four wall world, and ever so slowly it was inching closer and closer, crushing my very soul.

“Are you ok?” Ian asked, snapping me out of my trance.

I really couldn’t hold back the emotions much longer. I had to get away.

“I…If you don’t mind,” I said trying to hold back my sobs as much as possible. “I think I’m going to take a few minutes to clear my head.”

And so I left, separating myself from the crowd, not much different than when I did when I met Kami.

I made my way to a quiet glen nearby where I could be alone, although hanging with myself wasn't the most comforting of things. I slowly began to drift back into last night, as if I was reliving that moment all over again. I was almost expecting Kami to make her grand entrance once again.

I remembered her words, echoing just like she was there, repeating it over and over and over again:

“One day you’re going to have to face yourself…and face the one you fear.”

And somehow I feel like it’s become some sort of cruel joke, like somehow she played with my mind like a piece of clay. Every compliment she said: my beautiful, hourglass body, creamy skin, red hair…God damnit now I was thinking it!

I hated myself, no- I hated that subconsciously I loved myself. If she was anyone other than me I would give anything to be with her. Why am I acting so vain?

“Hey there, sis,” A voice came from beyond the shadows, startling me. It was only Trish, who slowly walked over to check up on me.

I rushed over to her as I put my head over her bosom and cried uncontrollably. She just stood there, stroking the back of my hair, as I wept. She didn’t say anything, she didn’t care. She just knew I needed someone to hold onto. I just needed to let it all out.

---

We made our way back to the campfire. Now that I was through crying, I felt as good as new. It’s weird how a good cry can make things a little better. At this point I began to wonder why I didn’t do it more often, even back when I was a guy.

Something surprised me however as I made my way back. I was tackled, by something my height, with caramel skin and a bushy tail. Much to my embarrassment I couldn’t help but scream as I was being pulled to the ground.

“Sis!” She cried as she embraced me in a gigantic bear hug.

“Can’t…breathe…!” I gasped as my furry friend continued to aphixiate me.

“Oh,” She realized as she pulled me up from all the roughhousing. "Eh, heh...Sorry!"

Looking at us from afar Ian was staring wondering what on blazes he just witnessed. “What just happened?”

She looked at Ian and realized she forgot to introduce herself. “Oops! Where are my manners!”
She pardoned. “I’m Sienna. Those two who escorted me are Brick and Jade.”

She pointed over to a rather imposing cynical human looking man and a woman of green skin, her hair replaced by leaves.

“This is a beautiful grove,” Jade replied. “I am glad to see that in your new rule that you haven’t neglected the spirit of Mother Earth.”

“I wish the entire city was covered in trees!” Silverwisp exclaimed. “I just love how peaceful and pretty everything is.”

“I think we will get along just fine, little one,” Jade affirmed.

“Hmph,” said Brick, the man right beside her.

“You seem rather normal,” the Scaly Eel began, “Tell me, what skill do you have?”

Brick gritted his teeth in disgust. All of a sudden, kind of like a Hadouken he unleashed his power on the poor Eel.

…he conjured a brick out of thin air and smacked him clean on his noggin.

“Ow!” he cried as he rubbed his head, “That really hurt!”

“Come on Brick, cut it out!” Sienna demanded. “Forgive him, he kind of acts like that because he has such a…well, peculiar power.”

“I attack people with bricks!” He stated, obviously not thrilled about it. “What kind of sick and twisted being would give a Wyld a power like that?”

And honestly, I would’ve traded his power for the world. There are a lot worse powers, you know.

“When Sienna arrived I knew she was looking for you,” Trish confessed to me. “So I told her to wait while I fetch you. I kind of forgot saying something to you about it.”

That happens sometimes when I’m an emotional mess. She looked into my eyes and knew I didn’t have a problem with it.

“It was kind of surprising you went out of your way to find us,” Marcus stated.

“Not really,” She insisted, “I just asked for directions.”

“So you guys know each other?” Ian asked.

“Yeah,” Trish replied. “We were enslaved together…I’d rather not get into the details.”

“Yup!” Sienna answered, “And this unbelievable lady here saved us!” She directed her gaze to me.

“Wow, Huriyah,” Fatima said, “You have done this a long while. I’m surprised your name isn’t recognized as highly as Scott’s.”

“You know, I wonder what your name is anyway?” Silverwisp asked. “Just seems odd we don’t know it by now.”

I figured I’d let out the truth. There was nothing left to hide. I stared at Ian, and he slowly nodded, giving me the okay.

“The truth is…” I began, “I’m Scott Ryan.”

Silverwisp, Fatima, and even Eel looked at me with raised brows. They stared at me as if I was high on something. My countenance showed them that I wasn’t joking around.

I gave them a few seconds to let that sink in and continued. “Sienna, Trish, and Marcus all know.

“Then who’s this?” Silverwisp asked pointing at Ian.

“His real name is Ian Kennedy,” I answered. “He was a diplomat from the Cascadian region, who was sent to negotiate a treaty for all of us. I save his life, and he helped me with the diplomatic part of my mission.”

“I’m afraid I don’t get it,” the rather cordial Eel admitted. “Why exactly did you go through all of this? This whole thing is confusing me.”

“Honestly, I didn’t want to,” I answered. I wish I could’ve just disappeared and moved on. But sometimes fate kind of forces you into things you can’t avoid.”

I continued, trying not to break down as I recollected the story. “I suppose I had a debt to pay, so to speak. One of them was to my friend Marcus, who helped me when times were rough. And the other was named Max, who happened to be Sienna’s adopted guardian. I think you’d known him through his other name, Gun.”

They all gasped at everything they were hearing. Eel couldn’t even believe it as he asked Sienna, “You’re the daughter of the famous Gun?”

“Adopted, yes,” The bushy tailed squired girl replied. “But I still think of him as my dad, even to this day.”

“It was never my idea to get involved with fighting,” I continued. “And I never knew that my actions would result in anything like this.” By this, I meant claiming Toledo.

“Back then, Max and I were strong allies and good friends,” Marcus explained. “He wanted me to take care of Sienna for him, and keep her out of trouble. But then the Wyld Purge occurred and we were separated.” He looked down, obviously feeling a little pain when recollecting the moments as well. Sienna even came over to comfort him as he continued.

“It wasn’t your fault,” she said.

“I looked everywhere,” he resumed. “I called some friends from some local resistance cells, hoping that they could somehow locate her. If Sienna died…I could’ve never forgiven myself.”

“I was held prisoner for 5 years prior to becoming Wyld,” Sienna interjected. “Some of them wanted to kill me on sight, knowing that I was related to the infamous “Gun.” But, they decided not to. It wouldn’t look good if someone shot a child in cold blood when she hasn’t gone Wyld. So they did the next best thing.”

“There are places,” Trish stated, “where the offspring of Wyld are taken, and kept in isolation away from society’s eyes. They are beaten, broken, and forced to do meager jobs indoors while they wait to develop. Those who do are taken to the surface and slave away there. Those who don’t…” She turned away, obviously not wanting to think about such a thing. I knew the rest though. Those who didn’t turn Wyld were executed. They didn’t want anyone to know that they actually used “humans” as slaves after all.

“I suppose that makes me a lucky one,” Sienna said in a bittersweet manner. “Once I turned I was sent to the limestone quarries to work. That’s where I met Trish and Grond.”

“Grond too, huh?” Ian realized.

“In any event,” Marcus continued. “We managed to uncover her whereabouts 5 years later. Back then it was just me and Scott on the run, trying to stay one step ahead.”

“I really didn’t have anywhere else to go,” I added. “At this point Marcus was all I knew. And when I figured out that Marcus actually knew Max and Sienna well…”

“I saw a shift in her demeanor for the first time,” Marcus finished my sentence for me. “She turned from a quiet, solemn girl, to a determined young woman. When I realized this revelation; that she knew Max…”

“I knew I wanted to save her,” I finished, countering him right back. “I owed Max quite a bit as well.”

“She would take no for an answer,” Marcus claimed. “So I introduced her to our small little group. We didn’t waste time coming up with a way to break them out. When that day came we struck.”

“I was so unprepared,” I admitted. “If you thought your aim was bad, Fatima, you should’ve checked me out.”

Marcus gave a little chuckle and continued, “What she lacked in training she more than made up for. When I witnessed her abilities for the first time, I knew she was going to be special. How she was able to head down there and free those prisoners without flinching turned the tide of battle for us. I still was freaking out as I remembered how you were shot over and over.”

“Yeah,” I answered. “It didn’t take me long until I was knocked out from the exhaustion. I’m just glad you took care of everything else.”

“To this day, everyone who was free from that encampment continues to call Scott, ‘Sis,’” Trish said, “as a token of their appreciation.”

“That, and the fact the she couldn’t decide a name for herself yet!” Sienna quipped.

Eel still was trying to connect the pieces to the puzzle. “So you successfully saved the lives of a group of slaves, yet I don’t see how that has anything to do with what’s going on now.”

“Well,” I continued, “remember when I say fate forces you into things you can’t avoid? After the big raid I became like some sort of celebrity overnight. I never tried to reveal my name to anybody. But eventually someone heard of the exploits of Scott Ryan, and through the mouths of many, my legend began to spread. My name became synonymous with revolution.”

“We did a good job hiding the fact it was her at first,” Trish explained. “She was female, so she had that going for here. Marcus, Sienna and I sent down her instructions in her stead. We basically were her mouthpieces.”

“Normally that sort of thing got old quick,” Marcus claimed, “but we were winning, and as long as we had more people coming into the fray, no one cared.”

“Eventually the rebellion was so huge that the state of Indiana wanted to get involved as well,” Sienna stated. “Indiana is my birthplace, and so with Scott’s blessing I formed my own group.”

“You’re still avoiding the question,” Eel interrupted. “Why do you keep hiding your identity?”

“Because,” I said, shaking as I nervously tried to say what I needed to say. “I…I…”

“Look,” Marcus said in my stead. “This is something I think you shouldn’t push her with. She has her own reasons, and we abide by them. It’s the least we can do. Besides, wouldn’t you think that being Scott Ryan, particularly back then, wasn’t the greatest cup of tea? The whole region was looking for her.”

“I…I’m sorry my lady,” Eel said as he bowed graciously. “I was out of line.”

“It’s okay,” I replied. “When I feel more comfortable I’ll tell you all about it.”

“I think she’s ok by me!” Silverwisp cheered. “You’re still my friend in my book!”

“You’re secret is safe with me,” Fatima assured me.

“Thanks guys,” I said, feeling a little bit at ease.

…But I wondered how much more at ease I would be if I just say it. Say the one true thing that I keep hiding from:

…I was the cause of the Wyld Purge.

---

Lying on my bed, pondering about today’s events, I was startled by someone knocking on my door. Getting up, I opened the door and saw Sienna standing at the entrance way.

“Can I come in?” she asked.

I moved aside as she walked on through. To my surprise she kicked the door closed and then put her hands all over my face, drawing me into a passionate kiss. I closed my eyes and for a second, I accepted it as our tongues wrestled.

Only when she pulled away did I regain my senses. “Oh, God you don’t know how much I’ve missed you. Every day apart from you is another day in agony.”

She pulled off her top, showing me her ample bosom. “I need you Scott Ryan. More than I ever had before. I was starting to sweat as she used her bushy tail and began to caress my leg, moving up slowly, sensually. I let out a gasp of pleasure.

“Does it feel good?” She teased. “You’ve been missing oh so much. I can show you so many things. I can show you how wonderful it is being a woman. Just let go.”

She really doesn’t know how much I really wanted to. I felt so much energy being piled on me. I wanted her to take me! But every time I go this far, it brings me back.

I’m not woman, I’m a man. I once had someone I really cared about. How could I betray her so?

I quickly pulled her off, practically panting in the process. Disappointed, Sienna knew what happened.

“Still thinking of her, aren’t you?” She guessed.

I really felt bad for her. Somewhere inside I shared the same feelings for her. I just couldn’t go through. Not like this.

“That wasn’t your fault, you know?” She persisted. She always persisted. But why do I feel otherwise?

“Miriam deserves better…” I said, my head hanging down in guilt.

“What about you?” She asked. “Don’t you deserve better?”

“Sienna…”

“You always seem to worry about everyone else but you never take the time to worry about yourself!” she exclaimed. “I want you to be happy! I want you to find love again! I want you to finally embrace who you are! Hell, I want have an appropriate name! I care for you! We all do! And…”

She stopped mid sentence, still trying to force it out of her. “And?”

“And I want to be with you, damn it!” She yelled with tears in her eyes. “You’re all I truly have in this world. Even after all of this. I care for Trish, I care for Marcus, I care for my rebellion, but I love you!”

I didn’t know what to say. I’ve turned her down once, and yet she still comes back to me. I loved her too, but it was hard, extremely hard. I’ve been so distant to her- to everybody. But I don’t want her to cry.

“…I’m sorry,” I pleaded. “You don’t know how hard it is. Give me time. I…”

I wanted to say I loved her. It was so difficult even I couldn’t stop from tearing up. But for her, I’ll show her my weaknesses. It was hard not to anyway- my tear ducts seem to be on auto-pilot more and more these days.

She walked up to me and held me in an embrace. It felt good just letting go, and have her be the one to take charge comforting me for a change. Just like a woman should want- to have someone to hold.

“Let’s just cuddle tonight,” she suggested. I agreed and gave her room to come lay with me in my bed. I let her hold me in her arms all night, her fluffy squirrel tail wrapped around my neck and behind my head, creating a makeshift pillow. I scratched behind her little triangle ears as I felt her breasts touching mine. Quickly I fell asleep; her warmth keeping me secure. What can I say? I love my little Fuzzball.

I just wonder if one day I can truly reciprocate those feelings.