Must....Resist....Nuu ... I don't ....wanna...write...

I HATE airbags with a passion. You cant exactly blame me either. When I was about 10 and Air bags were something new, the family car got into an accident causing the passenger side airbag to explode in my face.

I have to admit though it wasn't entirely Dr. Strom's fault my intake form in emergency had a slight spelling mistake due to a not quite working pen. All he read was Mary A Addams Not Maury A Addams. So he assumed I was a girl when he rebuilt my destroyed bone structure to that of a normal teenage girl. Even he didn't know what I would look like when all the brusing and stuff went down. Pity he is in prison now for using Non-Fda approved stem cell and electro stim to make my face as normal as possible. Ie my face was peeled back which usually destroys any facial nerves. In this case he experimented on a minor, me, to hopefully regrown and reconnect the tissues. It worked and in 3 years the Fda will probably approve of the procedure.

My parents of course sued quite a few people and have a nice lump sum of money stored away. Doesn't do me a bit of good though. My parents and myself don't exactly get along too well.

My junior and high school years were hell. I got kicked out of two schools because of this face. You see when it all healed, and without a scar amazingly, I was left with a extremely pretty face. On a girl this would be heaven. On a boy like myself ... well lets just say I get hit on by guys alot. This led to fights with teachers who thought I was female and students. Ill never have a mustache or beard and my eyebrows will never be more than delicate arches with very short hairs.

What doesnt help at all is that a side effect of either the accident itself or the treatments, nobody actually knows, is that I have a hypoglycimic tyroidal disfunction effermissem... I may have spelled that wrong. In the whole world there is one other like me. Basically in simple terms my body produces nominal levels of testosterone for about 8 out of 12 months of the year with slightly elevated estrogen levels in the background. However for 4 months of the year I produce absolutly no testosterone at all. We tried using various forms of synthetic testosterone but all that did was get me sick, there is a term for it but I forget it I am not allergic I just react opposite to the stuff. After 3 years and some kidney damage we gave up and I just live with it.

What that means in term of physical appearance was that by the time I graduated highschool I wore an A cup bra because of my breasts. Every year I get feminized a bit more during my period, No not that kinda of period. I hope that in the next 5 years they stop growing so I can get them cut off. I dont exactly hold out much hope of that since both sides of my family have uh big breasted women who usually get reduction surgery.

For most of my 2 college years I live in the coed dorm and most people called me Mary anyways. I did try to see if being a woman was possible but I just don't swing that way. Though being able to sneak into ladies changing rooms is a definite plus. However this usually doesn't last long as junior comes to attention a bit too easy except during those 4 months.

The girls I have managed to date so far are all way too interested in turning me into a girl. Gods my office closet at home is full of dresses,blouses,skirt,and a number of other feminine finery that is actually mine I just don't wear it.

This uhm perversion has left me a bit different. I actually prefer panties over mens underwear they just feel soooo good. Fit a heck of alot better too. I don't wear nighties just a very plain cotton sleepshirt that's unisex. I am not that domestic either I lump everything into the wash, don't separate, not hand wash. Boy have I gotten flack over that last one. My kitchen has a small space available that isn't covered in dirty dishes. I have a vacuum cleaner somewhere, may even be in the box still. I wash my hair and almost never use a conditioner in it much to my hairdressers dismay. She always gives me a slight feminine haircut as she absolutely refuses to call me anything but Mary and won't believe I am male.

All that happened to me has not impressed my parents a heck of alot. I was and probably still am something of an embarrassment to them. I was a 12 year old bridesmaid for my much older cousin. I hated every minute of it. Mom loved it to no end, Dad complained about it the whole time. They are in therapy and its best that I stay away until things settle.

For now I work as a Lpn (licensed practical Nurse) RN (registered nurse) takes 4-6 years of study which i cant afford. It's about the only job I can hold where how Female I look is not an issue. Well it wasn't anyways..

That brings you up to date I guess. You see for the last 6 months this new doctor has been trying alot to date me. Dr Craig Muchanson Phd. Gyn, etc etc he has like 6 degrees. Is firmly convinced I am the woman of his dreams. I have explained a dozen times what I am and how I am not a girl. His response is he knows someone that can fix my plumbing defect for me at a good price.

Every other day my shared office at the hospital gets roses, lilies, orchids or whatever from guess who addressed to Mary. I do have like 3 name badges that say Mary Lpn instead of my 1 Maury badge. Depending on the patients I switch them. Some just don't feel all that comfy with a male nurse that looks like a woman.

Oh yeah you see now that I am 22 years old I am not just extremely pretty but drop dead gorgeous with my size b cup breasts and fairly feminine curves. I never wear makeup I don't have too my complexion is near perfect and all the girls are extremely jealous of my looks. I have been used more than a few times to help one of them snag a man. I have worn a dress on occasion for certain official functions. Hospital's are run alot on donations from private parties, hence the official functions to raise funds. You will laugh but the "dress" I wear is a flowery very plain thing. Enough to meet the guidelines of attire for said function nothing more. The girls get all dolled up to the nines I just stay in background and munch. I get too many dances as it is. Never with me leading either dammit. Inevitably I get alot of why dont you dress up more like the other girls. Even dressed down as much as possible I usually have a flock of guys around me at these functions. I have been to two of these functions so far. I am dreading the third.

Dr Craig keeps trying and trying though, I keep brushing him off repeatedly, The girls think I am nuts to pass up a catch like him. To get everyone off my back I have agreed to go out to dinner with him tonight. I am nervous as oh hell about doing this. Across the room on my closet door is a slinky black dress, courtesy of the girls from office with all the trimmings. I spent most of the morning in a salon getting "the works" Then rest of afternoon getting a makeover. These darn nails make typing a royal pain.

I type when I am too nervous. Which is why I am writing this blog, my first ever, to try and calm down. I am seriously thinking of jumping into the tub and washing all this crap off my face and hair. Then using some of my paint thinners to remove these nail thingys. Maybe I should burn that dress.

Gods I am so scared I am no girl, nor even a pretend one so why am I feeling like a little schoolgirl on her first date? My therapist is gonna have a field day with this.

Ah bugger the typing Ill just phone him again, and actually not hangup when he answers, to call it off.

Laters.