Previously

It was two weeks till I had an appointment in Brisbane. Mum had opened up the the restaurant and arranged for Linda, Henry’s wife to help Rita and Daddy with the running of the restaurant while we were away in Brisbane.

Oooo000oooo

By the time Friday morning arrived I was on tenterhooks. I'd done a lot of school work and didn't have any worry about falling behind, but I didn't sleep well the last couple of nights worrying about flying. We were going to take the bus to Charleville and then board a Trans Australian Airline 'DC3' to fly all the way to Brisbane. Mum had packed enough clothes to stay in Brisbane for two weeks if necessary just in case we had more appointments to attended to. At seven o'clock we were ready to go. Rita came with us to see us off at the bus stop - Daddy loaded our luggage into the trunk of the car and we set of to pick up Rick's mum Helen on the way. She was coming with us to spend some time with Mum and me In Brisbane, She also wanted to do some clothes shopping for her family.

As Daddy pulled up in front of her house she was waiting with her suitcase at the front gate with the boys and Mr Smith. They were all fussing about her flying for the first time.

I said “Don't worry it is the first time for me too.”

Mum said “Nothing to it. You just get on and hang on to your britches.” with a grin on her face.

So they hugged Helen and said their goodbyes and Pete put her suitcase in the trunk with the rest of the luggage. Ricky came and gave me a kiss on the cheek and said “I hope you'll be o.k. in Brisbane Carla! I'll miss not having you around.”

We got in the car and Daddy drove to the bus stop - which is out the front of his service station. The Greyhound bus was already there and people were already starting to board, probably to get the best seats. Daddy and Mum were hugging and saying goodbye, Rita hugged me and said I'm going to miss you Carla”, And we both had tears in our eyes. I was the last one to get on the bus. Mum and Helen had a seat right behind the driver I sat right beside the motor right in the front of the bus ,Just as well I was wearing jeans or it would have been impossible not to show my knickers to everyone on the bus. The driver had a few words with Daddy — because the service station handled all the ticket sales for the bus service.

It took a couple of hours to get to Charleville and it was ten o'clock when we arrived, so we decide to have morning tea at the service station where the bus dropped us off. It went to the airport and took our luggage there. Once we had our morning tea we got a taxi to the airport.

The flight was due to leave at eleven o'clock — so we had plenty of time to get to the airport, which was called an 'aerodrome' in those days. The plane was being refueled and all the baggage was being loaded into the belly of the plane. The DC3 only took about forty people plus crew, There were no meals as such but they offered you tea and bickies.

I got a window seat because I wanted to see what the big golden eagles saw when they were high up circling the paddock where all the little lambs had just been born. Then they would swoop down and grab them with their sharp talons and tear them up in flight to eat them .

Mum and Helen were sitting opposite on the other side of the aisle, and Helen kept her seat belt done up tight.

After three hours the hostess asked us to put our seat belts back on as we were circling Brisbane and would be landing in ten minutes time. As we reduced altitude I could see the houses and streets and could see why it is called the 'big smoke' because there was a blue haze hanging over the city.

I said “Mum is that smog in the air?”

She replied "It is most likely smoke from all the bush fires that have been burning in the hills around Brisbane the last couple of days."

When the plane landed it made a lot of noise with its tyres on the runway and that freaked me and Helen out.

It soon to a stop outside three big 'igloo' type buildings. I asked Mum what they were and she said, "They were left here by the Americans after the war and they were used as hangers for war planes. The Queensland government converted them to an airport terminal after the war. Anyway the history lesson is over."

When the plane's propellers stopped turning we were allowed to get off. We walked into the funny looking building and got our luggage, and made our way out to the front of the building to look for a taxi to take us to our hotel. We went to the black and white taxi rank and a driver came up to Mum and asked her where we wanted to go.

Mum told him the Belleville Hotel, so he loaded our things into the trunk and and started driving into the city, along a road called Kingsford Smith Drive. We eventually pulled up outside the Belleville Hotel and the driver asked a doorman to get a trolley to take our luggage up to our room. A teenage bellhop came to help us with our baggage.

Mum asked the driver how much for the fare, when Helen said she would get it this time. Mum said o.k. but she would pay for the next one. Helen paid the driver and Mum asked for his card so we could use him next time. We followed the bellboy with our luggage to the reception desk where Mum asked for the key to our room. It is the first time in I have been in a lift and was wondering where the door handle was when the guy pushed a button and the doors slid open much to my amazement.

The boy said “Which room lady?”

Mum looked at the tag and said “Room eighty on the third floor young man, and what's your name?”

“Alan” he replied and said no more. Helen smiled at me and winked. I could see the boy was blushing.

We got out of the lift and our room was just down the corridor. Mum opened the door so he could bring all our things into the room. Before he could leave Mum gave him ten shillings for his troubles.

He said “Thanks' and was gone.

Mum said “A man of few words” and laughed.

Once Mum and Helen unpacked the suitcases and put everything away we sorted out where we would be sleeping, I would sleep with Mum in the double bed and Helen could have the single. The bedroom had an en suite so there was a bath, shower and toilet in the one room. There was also a type of sitting room with a desk and phone, and in this room there was a jug and little fridge so we could make a cup of tea. It all felt very posh. By the time all the clothes were put away we were tired, and made a cup of tea and then had a lie down.

I was too excited to stay on the bed so decide to have a bath in the posh bathroom. There was a bottle of bubble-bath in the room so I tipped half a bottle in the bath tub and filled the tub up with water. I stripped off and climbed in and sank into the bubbles and almost vanished from sight. I was almost asleep when I hear Mum say, “Carla, if you stay in there any longer you will melt”

I said “Will my willy melt as well?” before I realised what I said. I hoped that Helen didn't hear me because I didn't think she knew the truth about me.

Mum said "Hurry up and get out I need to use the toilet." I jumped up without thinking. I was standing there without a stitch on and Helen was standing at the door looking at my little willy and said “Don't worry sweetheart. I know what is happening to you and I'm fine with it.”

Mum said “What about the boys?”

Helen replied “Barry is going to explain everything to them while we are away. They will understand and besides the boys absolutely love both your girls. When Barry explains about gender dysphoria they will be fine.”

By this time I had a towel wrapped around me and I was sitting on the bed crying. Mum had to use the toilet so Helen sat next to me and hugged me till I calmed down.

“Oh sweetheart don't cry I understand what is happening to you. Before I married Barry I worked in childcare and believe me you're not the only little girl with a birth defect. Now dry those pretty brown eyes and get dressed so we can go down to the dining room and have dinner.

Mum helped me get dressed in a pink sun dress that had a bow at the back that I couldn't tie myself. My shoes were white open sandals. While Mum was getting ready, Helen got her hair dryer out of her make up bag and had my hair dry in minutes and plaited my hair into two pony tails with pink ribbons.

Mum said, “Helen, I can see you and my daughter are getting on real well. If you want I can loan her to you when we get back — just in case you get sick of dealing with your boys.”

Helen said, “I might just take you upon that Donna, a Mum can't spoil boys like she can a daughter can she?”

I said, “Do you think Ricky will still want to be my friend when he finds out my little problem?”

“Of course he will" said Helen, "My boys might talk tough but they both have a heart of gold, so stop being such a worry wart.”

There was a black and white television in the room and I turned it on while Helen got ready. Tv was a bit of a novelty for me as there was no reception in Quilpie. Helen got dressed in full view of me so I guessed she was o.k. with me being transgendered.

It was Friday night and the dining room was packed out, but Mum had booked a table at the desk when we booked in and a waiter took us to our table and held the chairs out for us to sit. I could get used to this I thought.

“Wow this is posh,” I said, “Can we really afford to pay for all this?”

“Yes dear. I have an insurance policy that I cashed in which your grandparents took out when I was born. There is quite a bit of money to draw on when needed.”

We had our meal and stayed for about half an hour to listen to the man playing a piano and then went back up to our room. Mum and Helen watched a bit of tv and I slipped into the big bed and closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep so I could hear what what was being said. I know that was being a little bit naughty but I was a bit of a sticky beak like all little girls right? But Mum and Helen only talked about what we were going to be doing tomorrow. So much for my eavesdropping. Serves me right didn't it?

When I went to sleep I found myself in the same field again with the same nightie I had on the last time I had this dream. I started to walk towards the the figure that was in the same blue and white gown as before. As I got closer I recognised the girl that looked so like me it was like looking in a mirror.

This time though I could hear her speaking she said, “Hello Carla you can hear me speak now that you know that I am your sister Jean. When you came to my grave to say goodbye you told me that you would take me with you, and let me live my life inside you and see things through your eyes. God is allowing me to be in your soul to be with you in spirit.” She smiled at me and faded before I could say anything back.

It was morning and Mum was holding me in her arms with Helen looking on with concern on her face. I had tears running down my face but I was not trembling like last time Jean came to me in a dream.

Mum said “It's o.k. sweetheart you're awake now. Do you want to tell me what happened in your dream this time?”

“I can hear Jean now Mum. She talks to me and sounds just like me.”

“Well she is the other half of your soul after all. We will see what the doctor has to say about your dreams, but I think that Jean is inside you for the rest of your life.”

Helen listened in awe as Mum explained about me and my identical twin sister who had passed away three hours after we were born.

Helen just said in a matter of fact way “Dual souls” and shrugged her shoulders as it was nothing new. She held both my hands and looked into my eyes and said “Carla sweetheart, you really are a very lucky little girl. The spirit world is very real and your twin sister will be with you till the time comes for you to join her in that realm.

Mum said, “This thing is normal then?”

“Yes, especially when an identical twin dies at birth”, she replied. “Carla I'll tell you how I know about it but not now.”

Mum said, “That'll be interesting.”

All this made me feel a lot better about my dreams, because I was always too scared to talk about it much in case people thought I was crazy. We all got dressed in jeans , T-shirt and comfortable shoes. We went down to have breakfast and head off to do some shopping,

Another first for me were trams. They were all open and made a lot of noise and had a conductor on board that sold you the tickets. We arrived out the front of a big building that said McWhirters and it was the biggest department store I had ever seen and it had escalators to take you up and down the floors without having to walk. This was so much fun! Mum and Helen went up and down to different departments and bought heaps of stuff. While they did their shopping Mum gave me ten pounds and let me loose in the jewellery section. I spent half on myself and half on stuff for Rita. We ended up with too many bags to go on the tram so Mum went to a phone box and rang the taxi driver that gave her his card yesterday. The cab arrived within five minutes, and the driver got out to open the trunk to put all the bags in.

He said ”I see you have spent all your money”

Mum said, “Yeah we don't hit the city very often.”

The driver said “Thanks for using me again. By the way my name is Tony.”

Mum said “I'm Donna and this is Helen, and this is my youngest daughter Carla.”

Tony gave us a hand to take every thing up to our room. Mum paid him and told him she will call him next time we needed him. It was one pm and they were still serving lunch in the dining room so we went down and had a salad lunch. The rest of the day we spent in our room having a fashion show and at some stage were all in our undies and giggling when Helen said she felt like a teenager with grey hair. Mum said next time we will bring Rita so she can buy all new clothes for herself as well.

Later Mum ordered dinner to be brought up to our room. We watched a movie and went to bed at nine o'clock and went to sleep as soon as our heads hit the pillows.

On Sunday morning we went to a church service in a really big church, I thought it was called a Cathedral. I couldn't get over how big everything was in the city.

It was Monday morning and I was in a panic about what to wear to my docto'rs appointment, because I wanted to look really girly so the doctor wouldn't think I was a boy.

Helen gave me a big hug and said ”Just be yourself and the doctor wont be able to see a boy anywhere o.k?”

Mum rang Tony and told him to pick us up and take us to Spring Hill, where the doctor's surgery was. Tony came and took us there and told Mum to ring him when we wanted to go back to the hotel.

I was in my normal panic mode again and Mum said “Lets go and sit down in the foyer and relax for a bit”. We found a seat and sat down.

Mum said, “Right Carla, I want you to close your eyes and concentrate and see if Jean is with you.”

I did as Mum asked and said in my mind 'Jean where are you?' She was immediately in my head and said 'Relax Carla we are doing this together remember?'

I opened my eyes and said “I am ready to do this Mum.”

The doctors room was on the eight floor. We approached the receptionist's desk and gave our name to the lady. She told us to take a seat and we would be next to go in. I closed my eyes. Jean was still there. Mum gave my hand a squeeze.

The doctors door opened and a girl about my age and her mother came out and said “Goodbye doctor San Lee we'll see you soon.”

The doctor was a Chinese lady with a really pleasant smile which put me at ease straight away. She said “Hello. Come through, Carla isn't it?”

“Yes that right doctor,” I replied.

"Oh call me Rose, and take seat.”

She did not have an accent so she must have been born in Australia.

“Alright,” said Rose “Lets have a look at what Doctor Ryan has sent me in his letter of referral.”

The doctor looked straight at me and said “My goodness, Jim is right. I can't see a boy sitting in front of me.”

Trans Australia Airlines DC3

Belleville Hotel, Brisbane.

Next time blood tests