Holy crapoly, I DREAMED last night. No, seriously, *I* DREAMED! I *HAVE* been dreaming!
You're probably all thinking I'm nuts right now, and perhaps I am, but you have to understand, for nearly two decades, as my fortress has been in place, I have never once dreamed.
The last time I can remember dreaming while sleeping was around 10 or 11. That's 15-16 years of NO DREAMS.
Now obviously, my fortress of isolation and moat of desolation were in place well before that, so exactly why my ability to dream only disappeared later, who knows for sure.
My supposition is that since my mind and spirit is female, my subconscious must also therefore be female, therefore, my dreaming was female. My fortress was likely getting distressed by *his* "girly" dreams, and my subconscious decided it would be better to hide the ability to dream away from me as well.
Anyways, for almost a week now, I've been remembering dreaming when I wake up. For me, this is like a miracle.
I suppose unless you've experienced such a long term dream deprivation you could never fully appreciate what it's like to dream again. But oh! TO DREAM AGAIN! I would like to shout it from the rooftops, sing it from the mountains, share it with all who might listen. I CAN DREAM AGAIN!
Joyfully,
Abigail Drew.
Comments
You will have dreamt
otherwise you wouldn't sleep - you just haven't remembered them.
Sleep is cyclic around four hours per cycle, you go into light sleep, REM sleep, when dreaming happens, then deeper sleep, then back to REM sleep and light sleep. In an eight hour night you'd got through it twice. No REM sleep (Rapid Eye Movement) would suggest severe brain damage - even dogs and cats dream.
Angharad
Angharad
Maybe I should qualify it.
To my mind, there's a difference between REM sleep in general, and actual dreaming. For all this time, my REM has been filled with nothing but random bits of words, computer code and mathematical formula's. That's not DREAMING, that's merely processing information. There's a very different feel to an actual dream as compared to the type of REM I've been having. Real dreaming involves sensations. The REM I've been having involves only "pure" data.
Abigail Drew.
Abigail Drew.
Though, arguably...
That sort of data-only REM could be further evidence that for years I haven't really been living. Not really. By your own argument.
Abigail Drew.
Abigail Drew.
Inability to dream
The inability to remember any dreams with images and sensations is one symptom of depression or anxiety and can be caused by other emotional problems. It works the other way, too. Depriving someone of REM sleep, which is when dreams with images and sensations usually occur, can result in anxiety, depression or other mental or emotional problems.
One surprisingly effective tool for helping to manage depression and anxiety is to teach the patient lucid dreaming techniques which also lead to dreams being remembered more often and in greater detail.
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Thank you Erin...
Though my particular case isn't quite as described, perhaps there has been no one else to experience exactly what I have experienced. Last night I slept long enough I actually had three REM periods. The first period, I had a dream involving going back to school as Abigail. The second period, was what I've been experiencing for years, just random data, the third period was a dream as well, though I can't quite recall what it was about.
Since I'm still experiencing and remembering having data-only REM, I don't think it's quite the same phenomenon as you have described. Some sort of personal defensive mechanism that my own subconscious devised in response to my strong kinesthetic memory, which would definitely have prevented any other attempt at blocking me from remembering at least bits of "girly" dreams.
In fact. The last dream I remember from before having had the ability shut from me, had been a nightmare of being a girl trapped in a haunted amusement park. Not a boy. A girl. I've always remembered that nightmare clearly, and for years I'd assumed something about the park itself must have transformed me before the dream sequence began... When I had it, it was so vivid, that I began trying to write it down, but as I tried doing so, details were stripped from me, and I could only remember the vague outline of the dream.
A lot of my early dreams were nightmares.
That was probably when my subconscious decided it'd be better not to let me have dreams.
Abigail Drew.
Abigail Drew.
Wonderful news sweet Abigail
i understand what you mean about "data" dreams, when i am upset or depressed, i get those.
no narrative, no flow... just day to day batch processing. the dreams you are once again experiencing,
the ones that are like movies or stage plays are the ones you are welcoming back. and are remembering! oh you are a lucky girl.
i remember very few of my dreams, but the ones i do are worth it (smiles).
happiness and hugs to you Abigail,
Diana
Thank you Diana!
It feels so good to see someone else who can truly understand what I am trying to say. Imagine having those "data" dreams of yours multiple times a night, every single night, for 15 years... There was a time I would have welcomed a nightmare, it would've been less nightmarish than what I was experiencing. I highly doubt after having had no dreams for so long that I'd be particularly disturbed by a nightmare were I to have one now. At least it would be a dream, and could likely make for good story material!
Though I do have to say, not everything that has come out of my data-REM has been negative - much of my Hamlet TI-89 board game that got me an extremely nice grade and kudo's in HS Humanities was actually written in my sleep, and I merely transcribed it later. (The game has since been lost... stupid TI-89 battery life...) I also created a game I call Diamond Solitaire in my sleep once. Also the core concept and rule-set for a game I'm still working out the kinks on, and need to come up with a classier name - The Bridge. But to only ever have bitterly cold, lifeless, data-REM? I definitely rejoice in having dreams again.
Abigail Drew.
Abigail Drew.
028) Dare To Dream
Congratulations.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Personally, I don't think
Personally, I don't think your inability had anything to do with a masculine or feminine brain but with your own happiness.
I'm happy for you.