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Charlie…3
Chapter 3
Oh yay they’re still coming over.
I grab my burger again and stuff a lot of it into my mouth. I’m not a pig, but I can be. One of the easiest unladylike things I can do is to take this big ole chomping bite of something I’m eating and be as messy as possible. There’s ketchup on my face and dripping out my burger.
Goth fake lesbian girl looks at me with that trademark been there done that slightly amused expression that she’s likely practiced in her mirror…oh yeah you’re bored, you’re cool. I’m not really liking the piece of T&A look she’s giving me.
Well at least Sweater vest waay-too-gay is looking a bit queasy. They come right up and She’s leaning sort of over the table and kind of flashing me her cleavage. Not that I mind, she’s a pretty girl it’s just she’s fishing in the wrong pond.
“Hey, You’re Charlie right.” she kind of does that trying to sound sultry thing. I nod, blatantly stare at her chest and not her face and offer a greasy ketchupy hand to Sweaters…yeah he just got a nick name. He visibly blanches.
“Yup, I’m Charlie.”
“I’m Yvonne.”
“Okay.”
Sweaters pipes up. “I’m Simon.”
“Uh huh.”
Yvonne looks at me and I look back to her cleavage. Yes I know I’m being an asshole, but I’ve learned the surest way to detract from being the focus of L. attention is to really act like a guy. I notice her posture change and she leans back fro the table and crosses her arms over her breasts. Not getting her way she launches into her spiel.
“Look, Charlie we just came over to let you know that you’re not alone here. That you’ve got people here at school that are going through some of the same things that you are and your experiences and who you are would be a great help to the Student LGBT group.”
“You have any Transgendered people in your group?”
“Umm.”
“That’d be a no.” I hit her with my best…You suck, stop wasting my air look. Goths, they really aren’t used to getting disdain from others especially a little faker like Yvonne. I turn that look on Sweaters. He gets that gay-boy bitchy look.
“Well, you’d be our first. You’re not being real friendly are you.”
“You’re not really being honest are you?” I counter back. “Look thanks but no thanks, I’ve got no desire to be your poster child for look at us we’re politically correct freaks. You don’t really know me or want to really. You just want me there to add to your “look” and so that if people sat shit you can get on your high fucking horses.”
I take a drink and glare. “I don’t want your help, I don’t need your help so just go away.”
Both have this shocked like they’ve been slapped look and Sweaters turns away and girly stomps away with this “Well…I never!” and Yvonne tries to act bitchy cool and glide away non-chalantly but still says. “Bitch.” I smile and take some fries to eat. “That’s exactly my point Yvonne.” She stomps away looking pissed and goes over to their table and there’s a lot of talking and bitching even if I can’t hear what they’re saying they’re sending me dirty looks.
Of course this has a lot of others buzzing and blabbing and I just ignore all of them and eat my lunch.
Libby shoots me glares from where she’s sitting with her little junior prep-squad types.
I eat fast not really caring how it looks and head to the john. I see a teacher move to stop me but he get’s stopped by another one. Stuff’s said he looks like he really doesn’t agree with it and two of the female teachers look like they’re gonna lose it and are getting talked to by the guidance councilor.
I’m followed in by a few guys who make busy but are really here to be the usual idiots. I take a stall and do my thing. I frown, even swear a little as I’m wiping, I hate this. I fucking really hate this.
I get out of the stall and go and wash my hands and they’re looking at me. I look at them sort of sidelong glance like.
“I never wanted this. I didn’t. I’m supposed to be like you guys. I my head I’m like you guys only I got stuck like this. I’m not a fag, I’m not a dyke I’m just seriously fucked up.”
There’s some uncomfortable looks and mutters, some one says “Whatever freak.” I look at him and glare. Then walk out, adjusting my prosthetic me.
I spend the rest of lunch outside walking around and checking the school campus out ignoring the times I’m pointed at or stared at and I check out the escape routes and see at least one redeeming feature of a skate park area just across the street from one of the side parking lots and a bunch of kids there.
I stayed and watched there until it was time to go back to classes. Aside from a few looks and curious stares I’m pretty much blissfully left alone.
I actually like school and my classes for the most part. I don’t have to act like a dumb girl, being blonde’s another thing I had chick issues with. I hated being treated like that as much as being treated like a girl.
Auto-shop actually rocked. There were guys there just more interested in the cars and stuff we were going to be working on than what I was and we were going to have two cars to restore this year both to get auctioned off for charity. It was awkward for like five minutes then it was all car talk and I could suddenly breathe.
The teacher Mr. Stevens is pretty cool and he yelled a lot but that was once we got to cleaning and chopping up, tearing down the first car he was playing rock music in the shop. And he wasn’t the least bit awkward around me.
It made the day suck a whole lot less.
Even Gym class wasn’t that bad. The Coach didn’t seem to care that I’m taking it with the other guys. It was the other guys that had a problem. We ended up playing baseball and the guys keep pushing me, keep trying to out tough me. I get beaned by two pitches that class and I hate walking to a base. So I steal two bases to repay the favor, I even dive front first to make it safely to third base once. Hurt, yeah even with the bra and bandages I still felt it. Honestly I don’t care, I’d be happy if they got ripped off.
I hate the way that I run, I hate it. I hate the swivel my hips have and the way even my skin moves and feels sometimes. Yeah it’s not just breasts and butt that jiggle as a female…there’s that soft skin layer of fat that keeps them soft. I swear, I swear sometimes when my skin does move, feel right I feel slimy under my skin.
It hurts and makes me angry enough that I put all of it into running bases, out doing plays in the outfield or hitting the ball. I’m actually great at baseball really, lot’s of time at the batting cages. I’m even a decent pitcher, dad’s played a lot of catch with me at times. When I was little I was pretty good in little league.
Showering in the coaches office sucked. But showering anytime sucks for me. The rest was just the typical class stuff and getting outside there was of course the lovely I’m going to beat your ass you freak welcoming committee blocking me and my skateboard with their cars.
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Comments
issued at check in
you have to wonder sometimes if each school get issued a group of asses at the start of the year.
good story, tough first day.
thanks
They're issued from the same place
where they teach them to beat their wives and abuse their children. They're usually the same kind of asses aren't they. It even seems that they're actually in training to be the douchebags most people like that grow up to be.
Thanks for reading Lonewolf.
*Hugs*
Bailey.
Bailey Summers
I know it for a fact
They sent in a bunch at my high school. Some will say I shouldn't do it, but I carry the hate with me fifty years later.
Portia
Portia
We were really lucky at my school.
And we sort of policed the worse of those kind of people ourselves. Can't do that these days, the bullies often have more rights then their victims. But still i get you. There's people I can't stand left over from those days. Some never change, they just refuse to actually try to be decent human beings. I'm sorry if this dredged up old pains.
*Hugs For Portia.*
Bailey.
Bailey Summers
Poor Charlie. She/he's been dealt from deck sacked against them
I feel sorry for anyone in the wrong body.
But for FtM I get the feeling it is worse than for MtF. Oh, the hormones can do wonders BUT if it is too late in life the hips, over-all body shape and such can never be right. The surgery to make a male face look female is serious/painful but not impossible but the reverse? Well the face is likely easy but the pelvis, hips, how the legs join the body? And the scaring/pain from the mastectomies and hysterectomy? And then to this day there is no truly satisfactory or convincing way to create a penis, so far I know.
Being TG must suck shit.
Being a Female to Male TG is a magnitude worse. As least given the medical technology of the present.
This is heady stuff. I applaud the effort,
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
So agreeing with you John.
It's one of the things that I want to go through in this. There's a lot of how MTF's feel and what they go through here and I feel a lot of empathy for the great girls here but yeah Charlie's list of crap he's got to face is daunting as hell.
Thanks for the great comment.
*Hugs*
Bailey.
Bailey Summers
more trouble for Charlie
I hope he can get through it all. I'm a little surprised he didn't at least consider joining the LGT group, it has to be better than going it totally alone. Mind you that's such a guy attitude, "I can make it on my own."
Dorothycolleen
True, but I've seen a few
groups of the LGBT set up that aren't really that healthy for any of their members and there's people in those groups who use that banner so they can make them feel better and superior at the same time. That sort of way too politically correct thing where they're looking almost daring people to say things to them. Very much the bad side of this kind of thing but I've seen it here right on campus in town only it's a Lgbt thing here or mostly an L thing with not much consideration for the rest of the acronym. But that could change after frosh.
Anyway...that's kind of group Charlie thinks these kids are.
Thanks for writing Dorothy:)
*Hugs*
Bailey.
Bailey Summers
future possibilities
So the LGBT group at your college is nothing but a lesbian partner search?
I kind of wonder about the kids that talked to charlie though. They don't seem too bad, but kind of naive. Well we'll see how they'll act in the future... will they help charlie or will they join the bullies?
If charlie manages to beat up the leader of the bullies they might stop, or try to escalate it even worse. I wonder how far they're willing to go... Are they willing to end up in hospital or prison out of pettyness?
Thank you for writing this captivating story. Can't wait for the next chapter,
*hugs*
Beyogi
It's sorta like that but
it's a lot of them having the numbers so it's do what we want or you'll never hear the end of it. They've very passive aggressive. I've gone with a friend to a lesbian authors reading and me and the few other guys weren't treated very nice at all even if I was a guest of a lesbian friend. It changes after a bunch of them graduate.
As to the bullies of the welcoming committee I guess we'll find out when I write it but you've sparked ideas.
Thanks Beyogi.
*Hugs*
Bailey.
Bailey Summers
Rejection?
Well... I don't know about lesbian author readings... But I remember reading Gael Baudino before I found whateley and TG-fiction - I could tell she was a lesbian by her portrayal of the "patriachal" culture. That wasn't medival europe, since in medival europe they didn't fight till extinction and didn't fight for the glory of it.
Only someone who has about zero close contact with men could produce such a story and world.
About the stuff you described: I wonder why they react like this towards guys... Do they believe that every guy is willing to rape them, or do they just hate men or why are they that insecure and rejecting towards guys?
I mean you obviously have some interest in the stuff they're doing.
*hugs*
Beyogi
Honestly...
It's a group mentality BS thing. Most of them are alright most likely on their own and this isn't hate but it's a sexual preferance/gender kind of exclusion. You're not of of them so how could you possibly identify with them and if you're straight and male then you don't have the right to. I have friends on all sides of the spectrum and I'm interested in a lot of things. It's just this very passive aggressive control thing with very few of the usual social benefits.
On The other side of it the next town over from me Moncton has several LGBT groups and most of them are wonderful places.
Here it's on Campus so I'm chalking so of it up to age as well.
*Hugs*
Bailey.
Bailey Summers
Just needs to start the testosterone
When Charlie can start the testosterone all that fat and smooth skin will change. He will lose the fat, his skin texture will become like a man born male, the muscle tone will develop, and he will become hairy; maybe more hairy than he would really care for. Of course the breasts will have to be surgically removed. He will also become more aggressive and more likely to punch out someone that calls him a freak. I have seen it in a local transmen group; you would never believe that any of those men were born with a vagina.
Charlie
will be starting T. sometime soon in the story. Not all T. taking people will react the same though. Plus his dad and step mom have been anticipating something like that. I mean Charlie's angry enough as it is sometimes. I'm going to mix up stuff I want from the varied research groups.
Thanks so much for reading and the great comment.
Bailey.
Bailey Summers
Geez... Angry much?
Poor kid. That much anger can't be good for you.
Yeah and he's not on T. yet.
But right now he's in a really bad headspace.
Bailey Summers
The Power of T
I wonder if he can do some martial arts... He's carrying some serious rage within and those bullies just offer a good fight. I wished sometimes in my life that some stupid bullies would come by and try something physical... Then I would have been able to beat the shit out of them and even tell that they'd started it.
But I needed testosterone to get in that mood ;)
Charlie's
not really trained in fighting of any kind other than a few past scrapes. He'd totally get the mood though.
Bailey Summers
go charlie go ..
Brings back a lot of things i like to forget .... Poor Charlie.. my sister was like this back in the fiftys ... she is still that way now and has a bad time her whole life .. I love her still like my brothers ..good story brings back memories some i want to forget.. thank you
XOXXX Rone Welles
I agree, sometimes those
good old days aren't. Charlie's likely going to find a hard time of it unless he finds something. Sorry for dreging up things so much.
*Hugs*
Bailey.
Bailey Summers
I see things that I had in common with Charlie in my school
I was perhaps a bit blunt (okay, I wasn't shy in a lot of ways-just with girls). It's hard to get honesty from some people, and others, well, with some people, ya just wish THEY would shut up! Life sucks in high school. It's such a social shithouse (excuse my language) and immediately after high school, the world is different. As bad as high school was, the real world is much harder! Ah well, unless you're Bill Gates or something!
I like the way Charlie handles most things-Head on, and damn the torpedoes!
Good story, Bailey!
Wren
I was lucky in school
for the most part I was in the middle of a lot of things back then and not really in any clique save me and a few friends. School never really sucked for me or was that hard socially. I wasn't at the top of the preppy food chain but not ostracized either, who'd get them their booze and dope back then. We had some I still can't stand but there was like only like 10% that were/are completely useless.
I never found life changed too much outside of school. I lived in the real world long before school ever was done for me it was just something else that changed in life. I'm actually glad that I'd out of school as much as most people are though.
The one thing about school I hate now is Facebook. I hate getting friend requests by people I didn't like back then? I haven't seen them in 20 years and they want to be friends?
Anyway...I'm super glad this has brought up so much stuff for us all in a way.
Thanks for reading this and writing Wren.
*Hugs*
Bailey.
Bailey Summers
Charlie's being a dick
Funny thing about tough guys like him, they think if they do it in a deep enough voice and angrily enough that what they're doing isn't a lot of unmanly whining and self pity. Yeah it's a sh-tty deal he's got, but many manage to face the same sh-t without being total a-holes. His story is really interesting---I loved the part where his auto shop class, the simplicity of the social realities there feels like coming home to him---but, like another famous Charlie, the author Charles Bukowski (A poet friend invited me to a party for Buk up in LA, but though I had all his books I realized I didn't actually want to meet this great drunken misanthrope who was always going off on strangers in ugly abusive ways...) he's somebody I'd rather admire from a distance than try to get to know in RL. Hope he kicks some ass next chapter, but REALLY hope he learns to chill about people somewhat...
~hugs, Veronica
Well shit, I guess it really CAN happen here..,
.
You're totally right
about meeting your sort of heroes and the reality versus the art. I met the lead singer for the Crash test dummies once and he was a total ass. Charlie is in that aggro-gotta be a dick mentality. It takes a lot more than that to be a man. But he's a teenager so he's still a T-boy not a T-Man.
Thanks for reading and commenting Veronica.
*Hugs*
Bailey.
Bailey Summers