0g Have Problem

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A caveman might be able to do it, but I've been a total klutz trying to submit my very first story to BCTS. Anyway Chris, everybody, after finally figuring this out, here's my entry into your Caveman Story Challenge:

OG HAVE PROBLEM
by Laika Rollingstone Pupkino

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Your zen koan for today: What did cross-dressers do before there were clothes? This is the tale of an enterprising young caveman named Og, which illustrates the old adage that necessity is the mother of invention. And sometimes of inversion. . .

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7
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Early October, approximately 188,000 years ago:
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Og was good hunter. Strong. Brave. Devoted to him mate, Leelee. Always helpful around village. Everybody like Og, even if this Og have funny habit of scraping him beards off with sharp rock.

But Og have terrible secret. Him like to go out into clearing late at night and mince. And pout. And throw rocks like girl. And dance around big rock in western clearing. Clearing is special magic place for Og, where Og just let Og be Og.

Then Og discover him can tuck him man-flint between thighs and see is smooth and pretty there like woman. Og feel wonderful! Oh me sexy now, sigh Og! But Og still feel something missing in all this. . . .

Og try "displaying" like females of furry-little-cousins do when them want boom boom. Og jut out butt and looking back over shoulder and make big fuck-me-please face. But this feel weird and wrong, like is big step back to animal-ness. Then boy furry-cousins get wrong idea and try to jump on Og! Run Og!

Og love to play lady, but wondering of just how this playing could be better gnaw at him brains. What has him not thinked of yet?

One afternoon Og napping against him special rock in clearing and have dream that rock speak to him. Wake up with idea! Crazy wild new brilliant wild crazy crazy new idea!

New idea is: If Og has explored all differences between man and woman, and is not enough ....... make new difference!
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Og tell all him hunter friends, “Instead of throw animal hides down hill after is food, you bring to Og!”

“All right,” they say. “Og crazy, but whatever...”

Then many days Og work on something. Act like him have secret.

Ogwife Leelee ask, “Is Og sneak off and see Neenee?”

Him say, “No Baby, is nothing like that. Is something will make Leelee happy.”

Leelee not believe Og, so Og show Leelee.

Leelee think Og's new thing to do very nice.

“Very pretty,” say Leelee. Leelee kiss Og!

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Next full moon Og call meeting, bring Ten Families together around fire (fire latest thing in Grandfathertime...).

Og say, “Big Cold coming soon.”

Everybody nod. Big Cold come every year.

Og say, “Og make something to make Big Cold not so bad. Og and Leelee show you.”

Og and Leelee go in cave, come out wearing skins.

Grog yell, "IS ANIMALS!" and grab spear.

“No Grog, is US,” laugh Og.

Grog goggles. "OG?!"

“These called clothes,” Og say. “Me make clothes for everybody. These kind for mens, these kind for womens.”

Chief Mukimuk ask, “Why are different?”

“So can tell man from woman without dicks and pussies hanging out.”

Chief smile. “Og smart!”

“Wow, Leelee-clothes make Leelee look HOT,” says Mog. “Make tits go up!”

“Make feel better too,” giggle Leelee! “And no flop-flop get in way when Leelee try to cook.”

Everybody like Og's invention, and wonder why not thought of before.

Og hero now. Get many presents, and liver from hunt next day.

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But Og get best present next night, when whole tribe sleeping. Leelee sleeping. Neenee sleeping. Grog sleeping. Dogs sleeping. Good!

Og borrow Leelee's clothes and head for western clearing. . . .

Pretty, pretty Og cavort and prance around him tall rectangular smooth flat shiny black rock in moonlight. Og leap way, way, way, way, way into air!

Freeze frame.



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