The reviews page for a tale posted on the transgender-fiction site "HyperGraphia" in the year 2017 turns into a forum for the discussion of unsettling world events. The fact that few of these 22 reviewers seem able to stick to reviewing the story is somewhat understandable, given the unprecedented peril our planet faces. This is...

LIFE DURING WARTIME
A Tale of Alien Invasion
by Laika Pupkino

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While skipping down to the end and reading these reviews in chronological order might be a sensible thing to do in the comments section of an actual story site, for the sake of this story please read them in the order they've been presented in. It's kind of like the Christopher Nolan film MEMENTO, or that crazy backward Seinfeld episode. Because of how it is structured this story ends a bit anticlimactically, winding down to before all the trouble started, but I hope you'll be entertained along the way. (The title of the story that isn't quite being discussed by these characters is "!!!!!")

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Online story reviews for: !!!!! by ULTIMA THULE(Newest reviews are at the top of the page)
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Reviewed by Ambivalent on 04/22/2017

They finally got the power and the web going again, and would you believe the first thing I did was log on to the HyperGraphia fiction site? With the whole planet under siege and half my house's roof gone this is probably the last thing I should be doing now, but it has just been too long!

I just read Ultima Thule's weird little story and--SHIT i wanted to revew this but thinkihave more pressing concerns now. This is very bad! fingers like too heavy onm keyboard-----ok this is something!-----stuff sliding---there go the bookshelfs! This a new one theyre doing/// This one you don't run from- i mean HOW?! Is everywhere or just here? Hit "send" + I hope someone left somwhere to read it THIS IS GOODBYE! GRavity sems to be going sidew
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Reviewed by Virtual Mermaid on 4/10/2017

Don't just sit there with your clitty in your hand, this is no time to be reading smut! There are 1000 agencies calling for volunteers, the Higher Ground Project alone needs 500,000. Keep Fighting Keep Believing, VM
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Reviewed by Slave Chastity on 4/09/201

!!!!! is such a HOT story! I am so horny, I wish I could cum, but Mistress won't let me and she would know. She always knows. I said we should stop this game with all that is going on the war and everything but she said no. She said "her property forever" means FOREVER, and NO EXCUSES.......Sometimes I hate her! There I said it. I am in big trouble now but I don't care
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Reviewed by Laika on 4/07/2017

I'm so sorry for the loss of your entire family Pinky but I have to disagree. I think now more than ever we need stories like !!!!!, that are just for fun, and that you call "trivial"; a story that if you look deeper really does have something meaningful to say; expressing a woman's (either female by virtue of genetics or of one's spiritual essence) point of view, our hopes and dreams, our (not-perfect but I think well demonstrated) nurturing spirit. Qualities that if these humorless stinger slug "warrior truemales" were in tune with, we wouldn't be in this mess!
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Review by Laika on 4/07/2017

Hi. Me again. I just realised that my last review might be seen as an endorsement of pacifism. It's not. All nine billion of us are soldiers now, in bad-ass mode because we HAVE to be...

But let's not abandon our better qualities, or view them as some weakness that the absence of would have made us more able to deal with this threat. Would such a world have been as worth protecting? Ultima's story, written before all this started (has it really only been 3 months?) is a fine testament to these wonderfully human traits. This fight for survival does not invalidate your struggle for body/soul integrity, Pinks...

It's a corny inelegant slogan, but KFKB! -Laika.
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Reviewed by Ms. Pinky on 4/01/2017

This story might have been clever back when you wrote it Ultima, but now it just seems trivial and irrelevant, a waste of the talent you were showing before you went all neo-dada on us. I'm sure you feel a need to break new ground, but without a reason for it all this stylistic virtuosity is pointless. But then a lot of what we thought was important seems self indulgent now. Even my "problem", which consumed so much of my thinking for most of my life- I can't say it was nothing, but in retrospect I should of been more grateful for what I did have. Maybe my body and my role in society were not right for how I felt inside but we had food, water, shelter. You could look up and see the sun, not this awful Evershroud. And maybe my family didn't understand me perfectly but I realize now they definitely loved me. On Boom Boom Day we only had the one survival pod---bought just after the atomic nightmare of the Indi/Paki War---and my dad made sure I got it. He didn't even mention how I was dressed (the strike hit at EXACTLY the worst time- and despite the horror and chaos of what was going on I couldn't help note the parallels to your wonderful story Going Down on the Titanic!) except to say, "I'm proud of you, whatever the hell you are!" right as he sealed the hatch. That was the last I saw of any of them.

It seems now I won't be getting the viral re-gendering I was saving for but them's the breaks. In the bloody scope of history you can't say we in the West didn't have it amazingly good for a while. We all have some quick growing up to do! Sorry to bag on yer story Ultima, but I know you'll see the truth in this. From what you said on 3/13, I suspect your future efforts will reflect a more mature outlook, an embrace of values and meaning. Keep fighting, keep believing + love to all. Ms. Pinky, Resistance Cell #229
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Reviewed by Otto Matopoeia on 3/26/2017

I found !!!!! almost as confusing as all the conflicting media accounts of how this war is going. It looks like what my old IBM printer spews out when it's having a fit! (BTW Loretta, I wouldn't go around blabbing about your cousin and what it is he does. The slugs may not have ears, but they hear.)
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Reviewed by Sweet Loretta Martin on 3/19/2017

Sad that we won't have any more of your great stories Ultima but anyone who cares about the future of our species will understand. We all have to pull together now and make sacrifices (I don't mean the stingerslug kind!). Hopefully this will all be over soon. I know it is almost incomprehensible to you Yanks that this could be happening, but our little isle has faced similar threats before, like when the Luftwaffe was raining death down on London and the whole German army seemed right at our doorstep. That had seemed like the end of everything too, but our ancestors survived. And my cousin who works at the Ministry assures me they are hard at work on new ways to win this! I enjoyed our chats at Helsinki Gendercon 2015 and hope to see you again at the next one, whenever. As Vera Lynne sang 75 years ago:

"We'll meet again/ Don't know how, don't know when..."

huggles, Loretta
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Reviewed by hoser on 3/15/2017

I'm glad you quit writing Utlima coz you SUCK! You ALL suck! i woldent even be reading this pevertist garbage exept the stupid curfew. Curfews SUCK!
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Reviewed by Ultima Thule on 3/13/2017

I'm sorry, but this will be my last story on HG for the duration of these unpleasantries. When I'm not at the munitions plant making salt bombs for the Terran Air Force I'm sitting a neighbor's kids while she works her shift, or in my garden (You all better start one now! These current shortages are just a taste of things to come!). I hereby open all my universes to anyone who wants to play with them. Vira-Lee, if you want to see Ellie Ness get out of her predicament, write it! Keep Fighting, Keep Believing! ---Ultima
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Reviewed by Vira-Lee N. Dowd 3/01/2017

Yes Selena (who commented back on 2/18) is dumb, beneath contempt, a real squishwife......and basically NOT WORTH TALKING ABOUT!!! There are chatrooms for this kind of discussion, why don't we try to stick to the topic of this story, or at least of TG literature. Of the legendary Ultima Thule and the 7000 kb of escapist fun she has gifted us with...

Anything new in the works, Sis? I'd love for you to do more stories about Ellie Ness and the Unpassables. You should at least to resolve that Part IX ending where you left her heading for Niagra Falls in that barrel after One Eyed Jack the whiskey runner got her. Not to be a nag, but an old fashion cliff-hanger like this carries an implicit promise to continue.
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Reviewed by TV EYE on 2/22/2017

The slugs being stinky + slimy is hardly the worst of it! Sure they can be charming, I've been to the same Star City hangouts as Selena, and even let one buy me a drink once. And yes the monorails and such run on time in the areas they control. But if they are so "nice" then why are so many transsexuals disappearing? Selena you are sad and deluded and I sure hope what I hear isn't true! Laying paralysed while their eggs hatch inside you and start to feed is an infinitely worse fate than anything the resistance might dream up for you. So just watch your back kid!

But about Miss Thule's story. I really enjoyed it, but not as much as the one that was all profanities. That one was about demons, right? K.F.K.B.!
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Reviewed by [email protected] on 2/22/2017

I'm afraid I cannot comment on the story Exclamations. While I've been able to access the reviews for it, I have been trying all week and the story itself won't come up on my PC.....But I've been following your spirited discussion, and I am afraid the rumors are true. MTF transsexuals are the closest thing to those on the slug homeworld who by biology and tradition are consigned to this gruesome fate (flesh is flesh, but they seem rigidly bound by custom). While it is true that they do have five distinct sexes; only two of these---warrior truemales and coordinator truemales---have anything resembling rights. Although since they don't have a centralized brain, "rights" might be a far too anthropocentric label for their relative autonomy. These are the types you see here on the surface, the big grey warriors and the smaller plum colored coordinators. This "love" Selena speaks of is just their knack for feeding your own emotions back to you- which comes in handy during the subduing of their unwilling hatcheries, the second-molt pseudofemales. (Please note: All this clumsy and rather sexist nomenclature was adopted over my protests!). It was necessary to bring truefemales along, as neither truemale type can digest food on their own. They need to return to the clusterships to be fed by trophallaxis. From what we can tell the attack fleet had made no provisions for breeding, and it is only because they have sustained far worse casualties than they'd ever expected that they started these unspeakable abductions. I hope those of you who are at risk can find some small consolation in this.
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Reviewed by Braveheart on 2/16/2017

You traitor Selena! How could you!? They don't even have skeletons and they stink like something died! You and your quisling kind are all a bunch of filthy Sluggo Sluts and we will hang you from the nearest lamppost!
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Reviewed by Selena on 2/14/2017

Stinger Slugs are an insulting name that shows ignorants and speciesism. They want to be called Xaarxaxians and cand't be any worse than our so-call "leaders" making such a mess of Earth history. I look up and see their clusterships in orbit and what I feel is hope. As you know Star City has "fallen" but corntray to all the propagnanda things are way better here. The Helper Troops keep order and I feel safe going out nights for the first time now. Because their dividing into five sexes they're very TG friendly since we are like "back home" to them. And with those stingers they sure know how to show a girl a good time! When Brad (I can't pronounce his real name) look at me with his big purpel eye I know he doesn't care I'm a pre-op or only a stupid human- which I hope the corodinaters let him cure this, because that is just one thing his race can do! Then I will be one too like him, all soft shiny and haveing wings, more beautiful then any human lady. See my story Heart's Conquerer posted 2/13 and wish you were me!
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Reviewed by Sunflower on 2/13/2017

Thank you for this most charming story, Ultima. I needed it! I just made the mistake of reading the most revolting fantasy (at least I hope its a fantasy) of a t-girl in love with and having sex with one of the stingerslugs. HyperGraphia has finally gone completely to the dogs if they print sick crap like that! So though I wouldve anyway I REALLY appreciated your cute and fun and actully pretty moving little story.
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Reviewed by Ultima Thule on 2/07/2017

Thank you both for your inquires, and I want to thank EVERYBODY for the surprisingly positive response to a story that I wasn't at all sure about.

To CANDICE: Yes, I'm o.k., so far. Our area got off light.......But I may not be writing anything for a while. I am moving to the country after this last strike.

To Toytalk: No......No government agent ever came and talked to me about !!!!! or anything else. I think an old nemesis (Yes I know you are reading this, and I want to remind you that now is not a good time to be accumulating bad karma!) is spreading these rumors in the chat rooms.
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Reviewed by ToyTalk on 1/30/2017

I usually don't read d ones w/out lotsa beau-T-ful gross D-grading sex innem but !!!!! wuz pre-T dad good.....I hear u got in trouble 4 riting this, that some-1 from Global Security Infomini came + ran a full mindscan on u, saying ur story wuz a secret message 2 d stingerslugs. Cuz it duz kinda look like 1.
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Reviewed by Candice on 1/27/2017

With the meteor strikes I didn't finish !!!!! for almost two weeks. When I finally got to it, it was worth the wait. That ending! Just what I needed after our town's mass funeral. Thank you darling, I hope you are o.k....
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Reviewed by hoser on 1/27/2017

meteors SUCK!!!
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Reviewed by Buckaroo Banzai on 1/23/2017

I guess we're at war now. Suddenly your title seems very prophetic!
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Reviewed by Synthea Robotowitz on 1/21/2017

I don't get it. This is a story? A monkey could write this! And your "historic" pieces just seem like an excuse for old movie cliches. The only work of yours I really liked was The Chicken or the Egg- where that time traveller accidentally winds up both mothering and fathering hiz/hurself. The hermaphroditic culture of hiz/hur planet was ingenious, you have a real gift for science fiction! I'd love to see you do more SF, maybe one about these mysterious objects out past Mars that are heading our way.
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Reviewed by Uncle Drunky on 1/19/2017

Re: !!!!!

?????
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Reviewed by Laika on 1/18/2017

I wouldn't change a thing. You'll catch plenty flack for this but remember: The ones proclaiming "this isn't music, it's noise!" or "this cubist crap isn't art" always look like moldy old jerks a few years down the road. Keep pushing the limits Ultima. As we said in my day- YOU ROCK!
-Laika the Space Dog.
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Reviewed by hoser on 1/18/2017

I think you both suck and this storey suck and is stupid and Hypergrapha sucks and is sick and your all sick and the dumb joke little picture sucks and I only look at these stupid sucky pussy storeys to see how bad they suck!!
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Reviewed by Heil Kitty 1/17/2017

Wowie this is good! And I love the way it made like a vortex as it went down the page.......Although I did think you used a few too many smileys, but maybe that's just me. I tend to be more neo-gothozoid. :) :) :) :)
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Reviewed by Cosmic Cocktail Waitress on 1/17/2017
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I never dreamed someone could write an entire story using only emoticons but this really worked. Please please please tell me there will be a Part Two!

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