A Change in my Life.

Chapter 1 A new friendship

By

Julie D Cole

My name is Sally Crewe and I am 28 years old and until recently I lived with two friends in a shared apartment close to the university that I’d graduated from in the North of England. I’m more than 200 miles from home in the South of England and don’t have much contact with my family these days since my parents were divorced. Both have found new partners and I’ve no brothers and sisters and only one cousin who lives in Scotland at the moment.

My friend is called Jessica and I felt that was very lucky to have access to this wonderful three bedroom apartment with lots of space and a shared kitchen and lounge and two bathrooms. She told Mary Jo and I, who was the other resident that it was owned by her family but from what I understood from the lease agreement that we had to sign the owner was some sort of trust fund called Harper Friends and Family.

Whilst I refer to Jessica as my friend she is more of an ex friend really because recently we argued and she virtually kicked me out of the apartment by making my life miserable and this argument happened because of her jealousy because I became best friends with one of her colleagues from work called Chrissy.

When I first met Chrissy I knew her as Chris and in fact I wasn’t sure about her at the time because she was dressed in boys clothes. I have to admit that Chrissy is a boy but he is more like a girl and I’ve got to know him more he’s started dressing full time as a girl and he did expect this to upset me but it didn’t.

I never did anything wrong to Jessica, as far as I’m aware, but I know that she didn’t like me to spend so much time with Chrissy but she’d introduced us and arranged us to share a room together on a Hen night break that we went on together with some other friends.

Chrissy stepped in for one of my friends who had to cancel and was encouraged to join us by Jessica who insisted that she spent the whole weekend as Chrissy rather than Chris. He was very nervous but he looked so sweet that I helped him and for me it was a relief to find a quiet and polite boy rather than the pig who’d been my boyfriend.

I did choose to leave rather than argue or fight with Jessica. She is a strange character and since Mary Jo for a longer time, since they were at school together, she has learned to put up with her mood swings and mad moments.

I could just about afford to rent this apartment and it was far superior than the digs I’d rented before. I had a lot more space and we had a laundry room so that saved cleaning bills and lost time visiting the local launderette.

I work as a research assistant with a regional newspaper that is an OK job but I can’t see me doing it for the rest of my life. I’d often dreamed of meeting someone, falling in love and having 2 children, a girl to spoil and a boy who’d be the image of his father.

This led me to have a few relationships, the last of which was finished by me due to my boyfriends’ aggressive nature, his sexual demands and mainly because he would hit me whenever we argued or if he’d been drinking or lost his temper.

When I told him that I didn’t want to see him anymore he beat me so badly that I had to have sick leave for a week to wait for the swellings to go down. I daren’t report him to the police although I did go right to the police station door before I turned back.

My job is not too demanding but it’s a bit boring really and I wish I had more confidence in interviews so that I could find a long term job before I’m 30 years of age. Now my option of finding a husband was far less attractive since I don’t think I could ever trust a man again.

Well not until I met Chrissy. He is different. He is more she than he and I feel safe with him/her. She is attractive and funny and makes me feel very special. In the short time that I’ve known her I have become her close friend and I’ve wondered why we were thrown together and if she or he has the same feeling for me as I have for her.

I have to stop myself from getting too attached even though I’d love to think we could be friends forever. I’ve wondered if I had such feelings towards other friends but I haven’t. I don’t feel the same about anybody else except Chrissy, boy or girl.

As we share our feelings and chat about her/his daily experiences in crossing over lifestyles she makes my heart flutter and sometimes I want to hug and kiss her. I’ve wondered a lot about myself and if I’m more comfortable with Chrissy as a woman or if I love him as a man who dresses and acts like a woman.

When we sleep together I want to hold him and make love to him and for her to make love to me. Am I losing it? I just don’t know if this is because of my bad experience or if I’ve really found my soul mate and a partner for life.

Chrissy is quite beautiful and I thought this too when I first met her as Chris when I wasn’t sure if she was a girlfriend or a boyfriend of Jessicas. I had looked at her a few times and he looked at me too and smiled. Since we became friends I am encouraging her to grow her hair a little bit longer and I’d love to brush and style it for her.

As a man she looked more like a butch girlfriend of Jessica but now with my help and the help of her sister Julie she looks completely feminine and much moreso than he/she believes. I am so proud of her.

With each day her skin has become softer and she is aleady much slimmer and I tell her she is slimmer than me.

We had a fantastic weekend together in Birmingham on the Hen night, even though we had some trouble at a nightclub that has blown over thankfully. My regret was only that she was attracted to a boy who approached her and who tried to fix me up with his friend.

For a while I was worried that she would be found out and that she’d get beaten up too so I kept a close contact to be there if I was needed. It turned out this boy was in fact uncertain about his own sexual preferences and I’m still sure that he is gay but I have never felt that Chrissy was.

To me Chrissy is a girl and if anything it’s me that is assumed to be gay and not him because people around us have always assumed Chrissy to be female and not male. It is so strange but I really don’t care what people think about me just now I just want Chrissy and I want her to want me.

Chrissy had worked with Jessica and was being trained to take over the department until there was a senior management change and the new boss side lined the Manager and promoted Jessica above Chris into the position. He just accepted it and his life was a misery for a while until the Birmingham weekend.

Jessica was quite proud of her promotion and she wouldn’t stop bragging about it wherever we went and she even gloated about the way she’d demoted her opponent for the job after her promotion was confirmed. He was made to carry out more trivial duties and she was determined to make him resign.

But it didn’t work out like that and now upon reflection I feel sometimes that the whole situation was stage managed because the new boss took Chrissy under her wing and since that time Chris has virtually disappeared. Jessica hasn’t been too comfortable about this but I just don’t think she could see what was going on or what this boss who was a strong woman called Kate was doing.

My worry is that Chrissy likes Kate and Kate likes Chrissy. When they spend so much time together at work it makes our time together insignificant so already I feel they know each other very well. Kate knows that Chrissy was a man and is pushing him/her towards making a decision to make the change permanent.

I do get very jealous but the worst thing I could do is complain and risk throwing them together like Jessica has done to Chrissy and I. So what does Chrissy want and what do I want?

To be continued….