A Change in my Life.
Chapter 5
By
Julie D Cole
Sally Crewe

I managed to stay awake for a while and it was nice to know Chrissy was close by and several times that night I felt her lightly squeezing my hand.

I don’t know how long Chrissy stayed that night but when I woke up I was in a private room that had windows and blinds. The nurse told me that Chrissy had gone and would come back later because my mother and her partner had arrived and since I was asleep they’d gone to have some breakfast.

I was sad because my feeling was that Chrissy had gone out of the way.

I chatted with the nurse for a while whilst she helped me to tidy myself up and she said I was very lucky and that I should treat this as a very lucky escape and enjoy the rest of my life. She said that she was confident that I’d be able to go home soon because of the lack of hospital beds and the maximum would be a couple of days. She asked if I was going home because someone needed to be with me all the time for two or three days.

Then she asked if I’d be going with mum but she said I’d seemed to have a close bond with my girlfriend.

I didn’t answer.

The problem was Chrissy was working for Kate and anyway I didn’t know how she was going to react since she’d said she’d made a promise to herself and to God that if I survived she’d stop being Chrissy because she felt the accident was her punishment again just like her real mum had been punished so many years ago and left a mixed up child behind. I had to see her and talk to before she did something stupid that she’d regret.

I couldn’t remember much about the events leading up to the crash so when mum arrived and asked me what had happened I couldn’t answer. She just thought I was covering for Mary Jo and Jessica and was sure that we’d been speeding but that’s my mum. She never waits to hear my explanation of events or anyone elses for that matter. She just judges people wrongly and then assumes things that is terribly frustrating so I didn’t want to go back home.

My chat with mum was difficult because I don’t like her new boyfriend and I’m sure that she could have her pick of lots of nicer men. It was obvious she cared about me but she wasn’t really listening to me and she assumed that I’d been a drama queen over the beating and attempted rape experience I’d had with my last boyfriend. She wanted me to be married before I got too old for children and she didn’t seem to care who I married as long as he was a good looker and had a good job. She was always watching out for prospective candidates for me and I decided not to say anything about Chrissy.

Mum asked what I wanted to do if the doctor said I was OK to leave and I told her I preferred to stay close to work and that I was staying with Chrissy. She asked me if Chrissy was a flatmate and if she had a boyfriend and why I’d left the apartment I shared with Jessica and Mary Jo. I told her just enough to pacify her.

She immediately brightened up when I said that we both lived at Chrissys mums house and that her sister was there too. She realized I wouldn’t have to go home and that I had a new family who would be able to take care of me.

We chatted for a while about nothing much and I was hunting for my mobile phone as a priority but I managed a drink and a small portion of food that pleased the nurse.

The doctor came to see me and told me I would probably be released the following morning after his rounds but to stay calm and rest.

Mum disappeared again so I wanted to contact Chrissy. No answer from her phone so I’d called Julie. She told me Chrissy had told her he was going home to change and then she’d arranged to come to the hospital to meet her around 1pm to drive her back to the hotel.

When mum came back she gave me a shock. She said she’d just met a nice young man who was waiting to see me and asked if it was my boyfriend. I’d no idea who she was talking about so she told me his name was Chris.

She said he was a bit effeminate but he seemed nice. My face must have dropped because she noticed and it’s not often mum picks up on these things.

I just said Chris was a good friend of Chrissys and I’d met him because he worked with Jessica.

So mum excused herself and decided I was OK so she could go home. I wasn’t too upset by that decision but what she’d told me about Chris was not what I wanted to hear.

About five minutes after mum left there was a light knock on the door and there in front of me stood an awkward looking young man with his head stooped and his hair plastered in gel.

As he came towards me I didn’t know what to do or what to say. This wasn’t Chrissy even though I could see some facial resemblance.

He mumbled an apology for leaving me and then asked if I’d forgive him for changing back but he needed to know that I was OK before he went back to meet his mum and dad to help them get back together.

I just burst into tears and said I didn’t care if he was Chris or Chrissy and that he was very special to me.

But there was something different about Chris. He wasn’t the same person at all. No smile and no jokey sense of humour as we sat and talked. He seemed nervous and unable to hug me that is what I needed most of all.

He seemed to blush a lot and he didn’t have much confidence to talk to the nurse when she asked him if he was related to Chrissy because she could see the resemblance.

He looked so awkward and his clothes lacked style and didn’t fit him very well.
Somehow it was a relief when Julie arrived to meet him and she was as shocked as I’d been. She just said she liked Chrissy and would really miss her. I just said ‘So will I.’

They left and it was awkward for me because now I didn’t feel I could go back to Cris’ mums house and share ‘his’ room. I needed to think and most of all I wanted to meet Chrissy to talk to her. She would take care of me and I needed her.

I reflected on what the nurse had said that I was very lucky and that the sun was shining so I should savor this day for the rest of my life. The sun wasn’t shining right now. I’d lost Chrissy. I wanted her to hold me and I wanted to hold her.

I didn’t care what mum or anybody might think about our relationship because we’d found each other and we were good for each other. It wasn’t Chris that I wanted. He was different.

I closed my eyes and thought about Chrissy. I could picture her face. She’d seemed to be getting more beautiful each day and I didn’t think she realized just how beautiful she was.
I felt that life was unfair and poor Chris had no confidence because he knew something was wrong.

There must be lots of people in his/her position and many would be a lot worse off. I wished that one day there would be some treatment available to correct these mistakes but then I felt it was more likely that men and women would come together as almost a common sex adopting mixed roles.

That was how I felt that we had bonded and if Chris needed to be Chrissy so that his true personality came out that was fine with me.

I needed Chrissy so how to find her again?

To be continued………