The Last word.
By
Jacquimac
I never asked for this life but I had to live it, ever since I told everyone that I was trangendered you failed to even try to understand. I could never please you whatever I did, I never harmed or caused anyone to be harmed but you had to ensure that harm came my way. I never asked much only that you could accept me the person I was on the inside. You caused me to be humiliated by everyone I knew so much I had to leave.
When I under went SRS Idid it for myself, hoping I could live a normal life, but somebody found out where I lived and told you, once again the humiliation started. I`ve tried everything to be accepted by you and the rest family, but no you wouldn`t allow that and it has splintered the family so much that there is infighting between you.
Over the years I`ve been forced to move time and time again, this meant abandoning everything I owned and wasting a lot of my finances. The last few months I`ve lived out of a suitcase staying in cheap sleazy hotels
Well just to let know you won`t have to waste anymore time trying to demean and humiliate me and just maybe the family will all get back together again.
You`ll more than likely read all about in the newpapers before you get this. I was determined to get the last word in so here it is
"DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL"
DAILY NEWS
Tuesday 2 june 1999
Body found on Moors
An unidentified body was found saddleworth moors yesterday by a party of hill walkers. No Identification of the body has been made at this time. A police spokesman stated that foul play wasn`t suspected and the means of death as yet unknown. A postmortum has to carried out to determine the cause of death.
Comments
short, but to the point
I hate to see a person give up though. They couldn't what the future would hold, and it could have gotten better, especially if she/he was willing to work on it.
Dorothycolleen
There actually was one
of the community who did this some years ago though I'm not aware of harassment as being the motivation. It's probably the easiest way of getting an open verdict instead of suicide which can affect families and insurance policies.
Angharad
Angharad
Not a day that I do not think of it.
And sometimes I wish I could do it too.
But, there are those who care for me, and I them. I too know what it is like to have the family from hell.
I am sorry for your pain.
Khadijah
I'm dealing with it right now
I just lost a family member two weeks ago, and someone close eleven months before.
Yes it sure is the last word. Their pain ends.
It sucks for those of us left behind to deal with it.
I have suicidal episodes.
In the midst of them, things seem very dark. However those of us who survive those episodes must learn to talk ourselves through them. A faith in a creator is a tool that many of use others may have other tools, I can not say. But I believe that we can foolishly talk ourselves into a very dark place. God did not make us dumb stones to be carried along, but beings capable of rational thougth, with feelings that we see as real; capable of making our own decisions. We can choose to reach out beyond our own dark selves and to find and feel care for those around us. In doing that we are able to rescue both them and ourselves.
Much Peace
Khadijah
Suicide
Unfortunately it`s not a perfect world we live in and people can be pushed passed their limits.
When you feel the whole world is against you and you have no support to help you, what are you left with?
Sad to say people do take their own lifes when life gets too nuch for them, and no they are not weak people, just men,women and often children that have been pushed passed their limits.
I know that I have come close to suicide in the past, that is the outcome when your family and friends desert you.
As I said in posting for other stories, I an trying to show the invulnerabliity and utter despair that transgendered people can often feel.
Jackie
I know these feelings all to well...
I'm not going to say much about it because I don't want to talk myself into an episode. I am post op by several years; was an extremely devout christian, had a family that I love very much; more than life its self, and did not intend to come out. Not telling the details, but the family, my job, my church, my friends, and professional relationships are all gone. There is nothing left of my old life.
By the grace of God, I have new friends, and a new religion. The others can explain to God their lack of mercy and understanding. Many people on this page know the feelings of which you speak and well understand.
I am just very concerned that this sort of talk does not cause suicides because close to half of us do just that.
The Complexity of Life
What we do each day is much too complex to allow a single element of who we are to become dominant.
(I'm 63. Age happens.)
Every day I still struggle with self-identification. The TG vacillation is only a small part of deciding who I am.
To stop all of me over a small and relatively insignificant part wouldn't be remotely logical.
What gender we present is much more important than what color shirt, or top, we wear, but much less important than how honest we strive to be or how compassionate we are.
It's okay to write stories like this, but if you're finding yourself dwelling on the idea of suicide you should seek help. Fixating on suicide isn't healthy and can make your life miserable.
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
The Last Word
So sad.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine