Chapter 3: Dave

I woke up and wondered where I was. I looked around and it dawned on me. I was in a crib, wearing a diaper and girls Care Bear nightie. And I needed to use the bathroom, desperately. I listened and wondered what had woken me. I heard a door shut and realized that Sarah had gotten back. "Sarah," I called out.

"Just a moment," came drifting back, and then a knock at the door.

I heard the door open and a loud voice, "I heard you wanted to talk to me about my dog, Thor."

"Yes, Bob. You can't let him run loose around the park. You know there's a rule about pets being on a leash," Sarah's voice answered. Good she'd get that dog, Thor, tied up.

"Why, has someone been complaining? I know all of the kids love him, and he wouldn't hurt anyone."

"I don't care if the kids love him. There is a rule and you're breaking it. Tie the dog up or else."

"I bet that new guy has been complaining. He looks like a little wimp.” I hoped this guy leaves soon, because I really needed to use the bathroom.

"No Bob, no one complained, I've been telling you about Thor for a while now, and even if someone had complained, I wouldn't tell you."

"I bet it was that new guy. He looks like a little sissy that would be afraid of a dog." A sissy, he called me a sissy. I thought about it and wanted to cry. I certainly looked like a sissy right now in a diaper and nightie sitting in a baby's crib.

They continued on for a little while about the dog and then started talking about other stuff. I was squirming, I really needed to get to the bathroom, but there was no way I could get Sarah's attention until the man left. If he saw me, he'd know I was a sissy, even if I'm not one, the moment he saw me.

I tried to get into a more comfortable position, but nothing helped. After a few more minutes I couldn't hold it any more and I messed in my diaper. I did start crying softly then, muffling it in the crib mattress. I think I fell back asleep, because the next thing I knew Sarah was in the room picking me up.

She picked me up and lifted me out of the crib placing me on her hip, like she had when she carried me in here. "Ewww, what's that smell," she asked.

"I shi..., er pooped in the diaper. I had to go and I could hear you talking to that man, and he called me a sissy and I didn't want him to see me, and he wasn't leaving, and I couldn't hold it anymore." I was crying again and I couldn't help it. So far since I've known her, she's seen me wet my pants twice, wet a diaper and now I pooped in one.

"That's okay honey, accidents happen, and it's not like you could have gotten out yourself to get to the potty. Let's get you cleaned up and changed." She sat me down on the changing table and pulled off the nightie. Laying me down, she strapped me into place. I was trapped on the changing table with the strap over my arms.

She undid the tapes and grabbed my ankles lifting my butt into the air. "Boy are you a messy baby," she said. I turned my head away as she continued, "Sorry about that, but usually it helps to keep a baby distracted while your changing him. It makes it easier. If he's giggling at you he isn't fighting you."

I lay there as she finished cleaning me and rediapered me. I have never been so humiliated in my life. Once finished she unbuckled the strap and sat me up. Grabbing the pink nightie she pulled it over my head.

She picked me up again and carried me into the bathroom. Setting me on the sink she got a washcloth and started to wash my face. "You look terrible with your eyes all puffy and red. Let me clean you up."

I sat there, sniffling and closed my eyes. She finished cleaning my face and I felt a brush pulling through my hair. "What are you doing?"

"Your hair's a mess. I’m just brushing it out. It'll be fine," she said as she continued to pull the brush through my hair. Since it was kind of soothing I just sat there with my eyes closed.

Finally I felt a tugging on my hair on one side then the other. I started to speak and she made some shushing sounds and said that it will be okay. I could feel my hair pulling oddly on my head and some hair hanging in my face. I heard a snipping like scissors and the hair in my face fell away. I opened my eyes and looked in the mirror.

What I saw shocked me, because there was a little girl in a pink nightie staring back at me. I looked up at Sarah, "Why did you cut my hair, I look like a little girl now."

"You looked like a little girl before, now you look like a cute little girl. Besides with the pigtails out and your combed right no one will notice. Now do you want to go watch some TV, while your clothes dry?"

She set me on the floor and I ran into the living room and turned on the TV, flipping through the channels I settled on a game show. In the background I heard the dryer turn on and knew that my ordeal would soon be over. A knock at the door caught my attention.

Someone was here and if they came in I would be seen. I started panicking as Sarah answered the door. The screen door opened and I could hear whomever it was enter the trailer. I still couldn't see them; the front door blocked my view. I was scared. If they saw me they would know that I was a man dressed like a little girl wearing a diaper. What I didn't realize was that it would be hard for anyone to see that I wasn't really a little girl.

The door shut and I could see that it wasn't the dog guy, but a woman that I vaguely recognized from around the park. She looked over at me and said, "Hi sweetie. How are you?"

"I'm fine," I answered, realizing that when she spoke to me I started wetting my diaper. I turned back to the TV and hoped she would ignore me. They walked into Sarah's office and I could just hear them talking.

"Who's the girl, I haven't seen her around the park?" A voice drifted out from the office.

"A friends daughter, I'm watching her for the afternoon, her name is Cecelia, Sissy for short." I couldn't believe that Sarah had said that, I certainly wasn't a sissy. Of course I was sitting on the couch wearing a wet diaper and pink nightie.

"She seems a bit old for naps."

"She had an accident and spilled Coke all over her clothes, that was all I could find for her to wear. She's about the age of your daughter. She's nine, right?” I didn't look like I was nine did I?

"No, Ashley is eleven, she'll be starting sixth grade this fall. If you want I'm sure that Ashley would be happy to come over for a while."

I started thinking Say no, say no.

"No her mom should be here soon, but if I babysit her again I’ll be sure to have her meet Ashley.”

"Okay. We are going on a vacation next week, and I was wondering if you would keep an eye on everything while we're gone?"

"No problem, is there anything special I should know..." They continued on for a while about the vacation and other small talk, I tuned it out wondering if I really looked that much like a little girl.

I watched them come out of the office. "Bye Sissy, have a nice afternoon."

"Say goodbye to Mrs. Peterson, Sissy," Sarah said looking at me with a grin on her face.

"Bye Mrs. Peterson," I said in a soft voice, trying to keep the tears out of my eyes. She left and I waited a few minutes for her to walk away.

"Sarah how could you tell her my name is Sissy,” I asked.

"Would you rather I told her that your name was Dave and Thor scared you so much that you wet your pants, and then later I found you with a messy diaper?”

"No, but you told her I was nine years old."

"Well I couldn't tell her you are 21 could I?"

"No, but…"

"No more buts. She won't recognize you as Sissy and you won't have to dress this way again will you?"

"No, but…"

"I said no more buts. Besides your clothes should be dry any minute."

"Okay," I gave up.

“Dave, can ask you something personal?” She asked.

“What, ‘cause I might not want to answer it?”

“Well, you are quite small for an adult, you don’t... I don’t know how to really ask this, but why are you so small? Are your mom and dad small?”

“No they aren’t, but you know it’s funny. If you had asked me a couple of years ago I couldn’t have answered. Now though, I know and it’s one of the reasons I don’t ever talk with my parents.”

“Well what’s the reason?” She asked. She looked really intrigued.

“It goes back to after I was born. My mother started drinking regularly. By the time I was four or five, she was drunk most of the time. One day when I wanted supper she told to me she was tired of waiting on me and I should feed myself. I went into the kitchen and after looking around. I made myself a bologna sandwich. Two slices of bread and half a package of bologna.”

She looked at me and nodded, “That sounds like what a little kid would do.”

“Well my father got home before I was done. He saw my sandwich and yelled and hit me, and then he yelled at my mother. He came back after a while and told me what to put on a sandwich. So for the next 14 years or so, I ate a bowl of cereal for breakfast, and a sandwich with a piece of fruit for lunch and supper. Never anything more.”

“Wait a moment, all you ate for all of those years was two sandwiches, two pieces of fruit and a bowl of cereal?”

“Oh, and some milk or juice to drink. My meals were surprisingly well balanced, but lacking in calories. I wasn’t malnourished, but I was certainly close. I didn’t find this out until I took an elective, with my roommate. We did some numbers in class, and it turned out that I had just enough to keep me growing, but so slowly that I never got big.”

“How come no one ever noticed?”

“Well I was growing, and I didn’t know any better. I didn’t have any friends, so I assumed all kids ate this way.”

“So you never talk to your parents?”

“Not since I finished high school. Actually I haven’t spoken to my father since the morning of my last day of high school, my mother that afternoon after school got out.”

“How did that happen?”

“That’s my grandmother’s fault. She paid for me to go to college. She had her lawyer kidnap me after my last day of school.”

“What?”

“Okay, he didn’t kidnap me. He picked me up after school, we went and got my clothes and stuff, and then he delivered me to College. Although, I think even if he had been kidnapping me I might have went along. It couldn’t have been much worse than what I went through at home. I spoke to my mother when I got my stuff, although I’m not really sure if she noticed.”

“So you’re still in contact with your grandmother?”

“No, she died my sophomore year. But she left money for me, and a cousin I’ve never met, to go to college for five years. I graduated in four years and got the remaining money, which got me my car and a few other things. But no bedroom furniture. It’s funny though, the only relative I had that ever cared for me I never met.” The buzzer on the dryer went off.

"I’m sorry about your grandmother; she sounds like she was a wonderful person. But since your clothes are dry, you go run to the nursery and I'll grab your clothes," Sarah ordered.

I got to the nursery and waited for Sarah, she came in a moment later, tossed my clothes on the dresser and reached for the nightie I had on. "That's okay Sarah, I can change clothes by myself," I said hoping she would leave so she wouldn't notice that I had wet another diaper.

"What are worried about, I've already seen you naked?" she asked. She grabbed the nightie and pulled it off of me before I could stop her. She reached down to undo the diaper and noticed it was wet. "Oh, I see. Are you sure you don't really need these?"

I was almost in tears, again. "No, I don't." I pulled on my pants, shirt and shoes and ran out of the trailer. I headed home and went to unlock my door; I had forgotten my keys again. I turned around and headed back to Sarah's. She was waiting at the door with my stuff. She said something as I grabbed it, but I wasn't listening. I stomped back home and went in.

And I thought she liked me, but she went and made fun of me. I did something then that I hadn’t done for a long time. I cried myself to sleep.