big fight with my mother

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Dorothy Colleen

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Well, I just had a big dust-up with my mother. She is totally afraid that I won't be able to be accepted by the world at large as Dorothy, and I will not be able to meet my obligations. I know its mostly because of her own exhaustion and stress, but it still hurt.

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The important thing

The important thing to remember, I feel (and I get a sense that other t-folk I've discussed my ah... myriad parental issues with in the past :-)) that it tends to come from a belief that they're protecting us when they say things like that. They fear for us because to them, we're still that lost child. They say things, usually incredibly stupid and very hurtful things either not realizing how much it hurts, or thinking that we'll thank them later.

It's really hard for people who don't suffer the internal struggle we do, to truly understand what we have to live with every single day that we're not allowed to be who we are inside. This is a man's world, much as I hate to admit it, and women do have it harder than men in a lot of ways. Trans-women can have it even worse, but that's the risk that some of us have to take, else we die inside, which is just as bad.

Now, I'm not defending her, just saying I can understand where she might be coming from. I hope she comes around though, and that you find some peace with who you are in the process. :-)

*cough* Of course I could just be way off in left field, jibbering like a mental patient, in which case feel free to completely ignore me. :-)

Curious

'Obligations'?

Real Life Stuff

RAMI

I am not getting into the question if mom is wrong or right, cruel and insensitive or misguided and caring. But, the term obligations seems obvious to me. They are earning a living to pay for food, shelter, health care, clothing and other needs of daily living. Basically, when your an adult and that can be at 18, 21 or when done with college, you are responsible for those things. It is your obligation to obtain them if you are healthy.

So mom is suggesting that by seeking her goal to live as a woman or pass as one, those obligations won't be met.

Again, Dorothy obligation to her mental stability might, be greater then the other obligations and she is willing to be "out on the street, if necessary to acheive her primary obligation to herself. It is of course possible for her to acheive both, which she may know she can and will accomplish.

Mom is looking at the needs of basic survival.

RAMI

Obligations

I understand that bit. What I was asking was whether her mother is requiring more than that. Personal 'obligations' to the family name.