Princess For Hire Part 9

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Princess for Hire

By Melanie Ezell

Daniel Henderson has managed to beat the odds and been accepted into Kingston Academy, one of the best private high schools in the country. However, when Daniel is invited to take part in a special program, he learns that there's more to the school than he had thought...

NOTE: This story is loosely -- as in VERY loosely -- based on the manga/anime "Princess Princess." After the initial concept, any similarities are mostly coincidental, unless they aren't. (Puzzle that out why don't ya.)

Part 9: The Princess And The Queen

-25-

I looked down at myself in my freshly pressed uniform and sighed. Parent's Day, and I found myself yet again stuck in a girl's uniform.

I hated to admit it to myself, but in actuality I would almost prefer to meet my dad wearing the girl's uniform rather than the guy's, if for no other reason than I knew it made me stand out. It had been over three years since we had seen each other in person, and I kept having these horrible thoughts of him walking in, and even though I would wave to him over and over to get his attention he would never recognize me.

On the other hand, when we finally met each other again after so much time, I wanted him to see someone he could be proud of, and for some reason I felt like seeing me in a skirt and blouse would be more likely to make him laugh.

Not that it mattered. All the Princesses would be wearing their girl's uniforms for the day, so at the least I knew that I was not the only freshman worried about what their parents would say when they saw them.

I cannot be certain how much longer I stood there, staring at myself in the mirror, but my attention was eventually broken by Leslie walking in through the bathroom door.

"Oh! Sorry, I figured you would be ready by now," she said, turning away with a blush.

"Don't worry, I am," I said, laughing. I turned around and on impulse gave her a hug.

"Uhmm, thanks?" She said, when I backed up. "What was that for?"

"For... I don't know... just being here." I looked down at my feet, studying the scuffs in my formerly shiny mary-janes. "You've been a lot of help lately and, I guess I'm just nervous."

Leslie giggled, squeezing me around the shoulder. "It's alright. You've been working a lot more with Sarah than me, though."

I shrugged. "Maybe, but you're still my big sister."

Her face lit up when I said that, and with a skip in her step she threw my door open and waved me out. "Come on, little sister and get a move on, it's Parent's Day!"

We stepped out of my room to find Sarah and Andrew already waiting for us. Sarah eagerly took Leslie's hand, giving her a quick peck on the cheek and admiring the Heidi braids she had put in the night before, while Andrew stood to the side, for once looking more uncomfortable than I in his stiff suit and tie.

"Rebecca," he said, giving me a sketchy bow.

"Andrew," I returned, dropping into a sloppy curtsey and fighting to keep a straight face.

"Alright you two, enough playing around, time to get going!"

"Yes, mom," I whined, standing up and rolling my eyes at Sarah, who giggled and started dragging Leslie down the hall, while Andrew and I followed along behind about a foot apart.

"She seems excited," Andrew said, as we watched Sarah talking animatedly to Leslie as the two of them led the way to the cafeteria.

"She is," I told him. "She's from Persistence. I'm looking forward to seeing my dad, since it's been years since we've seen each other, but it must be almost as rough on her, knowing her parents are so close but hardly ever getting to see them."

"Why haven't you seen your dad in so long?"

I sighed. I knew I would have to explain eventually, but today was not the time I wanted to. I decided to give him the short version. "When I was really little, my mom and dad divorced and afterward my dad came out as gay. I used to get to visit him fairly regularly, but about five years back he started to get into the drag scene and when my mom found out about it she threw a fit. She convinced the stepfamily to move further away, and my dad couldn't afford to pay my way each direction for me to see him, so I haven't had a chance to do more than talk to him over the phone since."

"But he's got custody of you now?"

"Yeah."

"How did that work out?"

This was where things really became uncomfortable. "I don't get along well with my stepfather. My stepfamily in general, really. I love my mom, and I know she thinks she was doing the right thing and all, but the rest of them don't care about me and think I'm some kind of freak."

"You're not," Andrew said, when I stopped there.

I gave him a smirk and gestured down my body. "My stepfather tried to tell me I couldn't go to Kingston when I was accepted. It hurt my mom's feelings, but I told her that if they didn't let me go, I would get Dad to take legal action. It was the first time I ever really stood up to my stepfather, and even then I had to do it through my mom." I laughed. "My mom gave my dad full custody after she had a fight with my stepfather over things. At least I think that's how it worked, I never did get all the details of how and why. Funnily enough, though, even though I was stuck there with them until school started nothing really bad happened. So, now my dad's got custody of me, and as far as I know my stepfather won't even let my mom write to me."

Andrew gently grabbed my arm and frowned down at me. "I'm sorry you had to deal with someone like that."

I shook my head, and looked up into Andrew's eyes. "I feel more sorry for my mom. I think things are better for her without me there, though." I could feel tears trying to flow, and quickly reached up to make sure they would not mess up the makeup I had worked so hard that morning to apply.

Andrew wrapped me in his arms. It was strange, the first truly intimate contact we had ever had, but I let him, and it did help me feel better.

"Ah hem," a teacher's voice came from behind me, sending me and Andrew flying apart.

"No PDA's, you two," professor Grumby said, giving us The Eye.

"No sir, I mean, we weren't..."

"Sir, it was just-"

"Now, now," he said with a smile, "I know how you kids are, and I'm a liberal, after all, 'no prop eight' and all that, but it's against school rules."

"Yes, sir," we said in unison, our voices so quiet as to be almost whispers.

"Good. Now, move along."

We moved, and made it around the next turn in the hall before we looked at each other and broke up laughing.

-26-

If there was one thing that I was not looking forward to concerning our contribution to Parent's Day, it was the outfits.

Not that they were bad outfits, per se, but rather that they were exceedingly feminine.

I gave Leslie a wry grin. "I don't think this is exactly what the school had in mind when it asked us what we would do for Parent's Day."

She laughed. "Me neither. But it is good for a laugh, wouldn't you say?"

"Only if you're laughing AT us."

"But of course," she said, with a grin of her own.

All of the campus clubs were required to contribute something to the Parent's Day activities, whether it be the drama club performing famous monologues from different plays, the culinary club providing refreshments, or the school band playing a selection of old Swing music in the cafeteria. The school considered the Princess Program to be a school club for the purposes of events like these, so in addition to any other club responsibilities we might have, we were all expected to provide some form of entertainment that only the Princess program could provide.

That was why I now found myself in a pink, ruffled dress covered in lace and holding a tray, waiting to deliver drinks to parents waiting in the next room.

I had to admit, I had worn far more revealing and provocative outfits before, but this one took the cake as far as embarrassment potential. Reaching to mid thigh, the skirt stood out a good six inches from my legs on all sides, supported by a cloud of netting and lace. Ribbons had been woven into the fabric, crisscrossing up and across my torso, adding a shiny rose detail to the otherwise pastel pink dress, with even more lace at the neckline and around the openings of the short, puffed sleeves. All of this was accented by yet more lace in the form of a short white apron, and cream stockings with more rose-colored ribbons wrapped about them.

The small, plastic tiara was just another laughable topping to the already horrendously little girlish outfit, leaving me feeling as though I were the victim of an explosion in a cotton candy factory.

"Here you are, sirs. Is there anything else I can do for you?" I asked as I curtsied to the gentlemen sitting at my assigned table. They shook there heads, and I began to turn around and head for my next table when there was a tug at my skirt.

"Ooh, ooh, mommy I want a picture with her!"

I looked down, and there stood an adorable little girl, wearing a dress that would have looked at home in a fairy tale book. She looked up at me with a broad toothy grin, and jumped up and down in excitement.

"Mommy, please, she's so pretty can I have a picture with her pleeeeeease?"

The woman standing behind her gave me an apologetic smile. "Sorry about this, but would you let me take a picture of you and her together?"

"Um, okay, sure," I said, blushing.

"Yaay!" The little girl said, jumping up and down even more, causing her pigtails -- very similar to mine, I was less than surprised to notice -- to bounce around merrily. "Over here!" She said, grabbing my hand and dragging me over to a table where Jules was busy serving drinks.

As we walked, the young woman with her bent down and whispered in my ear. "We didn't have the heart to tell her you were all boys. She's only six, and when she saw how much alike you looked she dragged me and her dad in here. If it's a problem we can tell her no."

I shook my head, and gave the gleeful little girl next to me a glance. "That's alright. I wouldn't want to spoil her day," I whispered back.

The girl's mother gave me another smile. "Thanks."

"Daddy, you take a picture with us too!"

"Okay, sweetheart," the man she had stopped next to said, picking her up and setting her on his knees. "Do you want to stand behind me, so we can all be in the shot," he asked me, "or would you prefer that I stand so you can sit down?"

The little girl fidgeted until she was only on one of her father's knees. "She can sit with me!"

"Honey, I don't know if that's appropriate..." her father started, but petered out when she gave him what can only be described as "puppy dog eyes." He gave me a desperate look.

I shrugged. I had done more embarrassing things since becoming a Princess, including wearing the dress to begin with. What could one photo hurt? "I don't mind, if it will make her happy."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded. We both shifted about uncomfortably for a moment, until finally I managed to maneuver myself onto the edge of his right knee.

We all smiled, and after a few quick flashes the photos were done. "Thank you so much!" The little girl said, jumping off her father's knee and wrapping me in an unexpected hug.

I gave her a quick squeeze back. "You're welcome."

She giggled, then ran off again, leaving me standing there with her parents.

"We're sorry, and thank you again for letting her have her picture. We can compensate you if-"

I waved them off. "No, that's alright. I didn't mind, really." I gave her father a smirk. "I'm more sorry if it embarrassed you, sir."

He laughed. "It's alright. I guess it's pretty obvious that she has me wrapped around her little finger, though."

I laughed along with him. "Just a little."

"Brother, see the princess I took my picture with?"

I looked up, and had to suppress a further laugh as Stewart stumbled up, hand held in a death grip by the little girl.

"Hi Stewart."

"Hi," he mumbled. "Um, Becky, isn't it?"

"Yep."

He tugged on the little girl's hand, causing her to giggle again. "Sorry if Rosie was being a nuisance."

"I'm not a nuisance!" The little girl, Rosie apparently, said with a pout.

He shook his head. "Well, um, it was nice seeing you again... I guess. See you around?"

I nodded, and gave Rosie a wave. "Bye Rosie!"

"Bye Princess Becky!"

I returned to my work, sure that I would be grinning like an idiot the rest of the day, and sure enough for the next half hour there was nothing too embarrassing or that could keep me from remembering how happy little Rosie had been with our picture. Then my day was made even better.

"Well, I certainly didn't expect to see you in something like this," a familiar voice said from behind me.

I spun around, and looked up into the warm, smiling eyes of one of my favorite people in the entire world.

"Dad!" I cried, as I wrapped my arms around my father's neck in the first hug we had shared in far too long.

-27-

I had known I would be emotional when I finally had a chance to see my dad in person again, but I had never expected to be so happy to see him that I would end up crying. Regardless, that is exactly what I did, tears of happiness running down my face as I kept a death grip on him. In the back of my mind I vaguely wondered if I would have felt so free to express myself if I had been dressed as a boy. Yes, I determined, I would.

It must have been at least five minutes before I finally let go, and when I backed away I saw that my dad had been crying too.

"Take the rest of the day off," I heard Jules say from behind me as her hand rested on my shoulder. "Go visit with your dad." I gave her an appreciative nod, then waved my dad toward an available table.

"Do you want to change before we sit down?" He asked me, gesturing to my outfit.

"Why?"

"No reason," he said, with a smile. He pulled out one of the chairs and waited expectantly.

"Oh!" I said, finally getting it and settling myself into the seat as he pushed it in to the table. He took the seat immediately across from me and sat, his hands clasped before him.

"You do look beautiful," he said, still with that same warm smile on his face. "I'm proud you've taken so well to things here."

"I like it here," I said. "It's a good school, and most of the teachers are great, and even this," I waved down my outfit, "can be fun sometimes."

He nodded, laughing. "Don't I know it. You have no idea how crazy some of the girls at the club went when I told them my son was a Princess at an all boys school. Of course, they went on to mention that it wasn't much of a surprise," he said, with a dramatic flourish of his hands, "given who your father is. They want pictures."

"Heh, they aren't the only ones," I said, then told him about Rosie.

"Well, I might have to track them down and ask for a copy or two of that."

"I doubt they'd mind." I sighed in contentment, and just looked at my dad for a moment. "I missed you so much," I finally said, feeling the tears start to well up again and fighting them back.

"I know, Beck, and I'm sorry it took so long for us to see each other."

"I understood," I said, wiping my face with a napkin. "I knew money was hard for you to come by even when we were living closer together, and that mom and... them, would have thrown a fit if we had asked them to help me visit you."

He nodded, a grimace on his face. "Still, I should have worked harder, I should have...." He choked up, then moved quickly to the chair beside me, wrapping me in a hug again from the side.

I leaned into my dad, enjoying the closeness. I felt him rumble slightly beneath me, and looked up.

"What?"

"We're getting some odd looks from the other parents, and a few of you fellow students."

"Who cares."

We just sat there for what felt like forever, and still all too short a time, just feeling the comfort of being near one another again. Eventually, though, I had to break the silence.

"Are you staying for Thanksgiving?"

"I wish I could, Beck, but I've got another show that the club manager said he needs me to do."

I sighed. "At least you made it down here for Parent's Day."

He squeezed me gently. "I wouldn't miss it for the world. So, what are your plans for Thanksgiving, then? I would take you with me, but-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. We'd have to drive because you couldn't afford plane tickets for us both."

"And by the time we got down there,-"

"It'd be time to turn around and come back up," I finished for him, punching him playfully in the shoulder. That had been a major part of the reason that I had stayed with my mom between the custody change and school starting, after all. "But you are letting me come home for the summer, right?"

"Nope! I thought I'd send you out on your own, to explore the good old U S of A with nothing but a backpack and good intentions."

"And then bail me out when I'm arrested for hitchhiking."

"Good point," he said, cradling his chin in his hand with a look of mock pensiveness. "Perhaps it would be better to bring you home."

"I think so."

"Then that's what we'll do. But, Thanksgiving?"

I grinned. "My friend Sarah," I pointed her out to him, across the room and waiting on a table, "said I could spend it at her place if I couldn't go home with you."

"She's the local one, right?"

I nodded.

"Well, have fun. But not too much fun. Not until you're eighteen."

"Dad!"

"Well, she is a cute girl..."

"And dating Leslie, dad."

"Which one's Leslie?"

I pointed her out to him.

"Hah! Your school certainly is something else, that's for sure."

"Yeah," I agreed. "But... I think it's better like this."

"Me too, son, me too."

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm wearing a dress."

We both fell apart laughing after that, and turned our conversation to catching up on everything we had missed over the last three years. There was a lot to catch up on, but I found myself focusing more and more on the events of just the past few months at the school.

All too soon, it was time for us to close up shop, and I had to tell my dad goodbye.

"I'll miss you, Dad."

He gave me one final hug, then backed away. "I'll miss you too, Becky. I'll try to save enough to have you home for Christmas, though."

I smiled, and nodded. "Now get out of here or you'll miss you plane!"

He started to walk away, then stopped and turned around again, a sad look in his usually happy eyes. "There are other planes, but I don't get to see you every day."

"I know," I said, "but we'll see each other again very soon."

"Maybe, but how soon?"

A single tear I could not stop traced down my cheek. "We'll find out soon enough."

(End of Part Nine)

Notes: I'm still not QUITE happy with this part. Like part 7, I'll probably go back and add more to this later, but it'll be after I finish the rest of the story, so no worries on it happening too soon :P

The comments on the last part were a bit scarcer than normal. As a result, funding for this post was cut. I had to hire an efficiency expert, who recommended laying off half the staff I use for proofing/editing/testing. Of course, half of 'none' is no major loss, so the story suffered little for this cutback.

As always, remember, if you comment, more will come. IF YOU COMMENT, MORE WILL COME.

Melanie E.

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Comments

Melanie, I was thinking

Melanie,
I was thinking Becky's Dad would show up as a woman, as he is a 'drag queen'. It was so cute that the little 6 year old wanted a photo with a 'princess' and chose Becky. As this story progresses, I feel Becky might eventually wind up staying around rather than Beck. Will be fun and interesting to see tho. Jan

I, too, ...

Jezzi Stewart's picture

thought, given the chapter title, Dad would show up enfemme - or show up drab but bring the femme gear to change while there - to show solidarity with his son and the other princesses. Maybe next parents' day.

"All the world really is a stage, darlings, so strut your stuff, have fun, and give the public a good show!" Miss Jezzi Belle at the end of each show

BE a lady!

I considered it

But in the end I vetoed the idea, for several reasons. One of the biggest ones is that, despite the fact that I haven't mentioned it in the story (not figuring I needed to) Beck and his dad talk fairly regularly on the phone. Over the time that Beck has been going to the school, his father has paid attention to what he has said.

Beck's father does not dress as a woman to "pass," he does it more for the shock value. He truly is proud of Daniel/Beck/Becky, and the last thing he would want is to do something that might leave Beck embarrassed after he left, or cause problems in some other way. There is a difference between what he does and a crossdresser trying to pass for whatever reason, or a TS individual, and he realizes this, and doesn't want to make a mockery of them in front of Beck's friends.

There will be more on Beck's dad later, I promise. After all, it is only about a month (both in story and in real life) before I reach Christmas Break! But I'll say this right now -- I wanted him to be a swell guy. I've seen too many stories where drag queens or gay males are represented as effeminate drama queens who will do anything to cause a stir. Sure, that is an element of the scene from what I've seen, but that isn't the only part of it, and while Beck's dad (did I ever give him a name?) does occasionally have elements of that, that isn't what his interest in the scene is.

I'll try to explain better over the Christmas break chapters. Sorry to disappoint!

Melanie E.

Yes Economy has made it tough

Sorry my budget for Electronic typeset(ETS) went through the roof, I used so much on that EAFOAB series(where I found the time to read over 1K worth of chapters...), but the budget has been readjusted though still hit hard because we had to Borrow from it to pay for Tissue. Fortunately your story took less than a half of a box. Oh dear there goes this weeks ETS. Thank you for your wonderful story.

Goddess Bless you

Love Desiree

Goddess Bless you

Love Desiree

Keep it coming, Please

Melani,

I truly love this tale. You have woven in a delightful look at the incredible array of emotional responses that are a part and parcel of my (our) life experience(s) from the positive to the negative to the confused or bemused. This gives your characters life and brings me to both care about them and laugh/cry with them. I enter into their universe and I love it.

Thank you,

Joani

Princes for Hire

I,m sorry to hear about the loss of your staff. But
I believe Becky has suffered enough due to financial
stresses. Perhaps you can give her dad a feminine
roommate to share expenses. That might be hard for
Becky,s dad because he might prefer someone dressed
other than in feminine attire. But we all must
make sacrifices. Yes, I believe that is what is
needed. A crossdresser/crossdreamer who is not rich
but well off who takes a liking to Beck's dad and
his dad for some reason is also smitten by this
person. A person who is feminine and a lady who is
secretly a female but passing herself off as a male
dressed as a women in order to obtain Beck's dad.
A lady who can help Beck's dad by sharing housing
cost and buying airline tickets to visit Becky.
A lady who can take Becky shopping and help her
with becoming a lady if that is the route Beck
decides to take.

In other words give Beck a step-mother who puts
his interest first and truly comes to love him.
This lady can be mtf transexual.

Is there a romantic interest brewing between Becky
and Andrew. Is the embrace to be followed by more
embraces and kisses? Thank you for this interesting
and well written story. Wherever you take this
story you can do no wrong. This is the best story
I have read. Thank you for this excellent and well
written story.

Kaptin Nibbles

Probably my favourite line

Jemima Tychonaut's picture

Probably my favourite line of the whole chapter is

"Dad?" "Yeah?" "I'm wearing a dress."

There was just something about the absurdity of it in the context of a meeting with a parent. Simple and to the point.

And it was nice to see a little bit of the romance that isn't, with the misinterpreted PDA between Andrew and Becky. I enjoyed the fact that a simple act of friendship gets twisted by the whole boy-girl situation.

As for the comments, I dare say that there is a magic formula to determine the story most likely to attract comments though I've no idea what it is. Suffice to say, that I am enjoying this story unfold.



"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

Context

The context was that his father had just called him "Son." Which, to be fair, is pretty appropriate, unless you're matching pronouns and titles to presentation/appearance. I gather Beck(y)'s point is that perhaps Dad should have called her daughter.

For someone whose rationale was that it was just a paying job, there seems a line that is being crossed in this scene.

___________________
If a picture is worth 1000 words, this is at least part of my story.

Son Vs. Daughter

I saw it more as Becky had gotten so used to being referred to in the feminine when dressed as a girl, and doing the same for the others, that s/he felt somewhat uncomfortable with her father emphasizing the "son" when she was doing so. A separation of masculine and feminine personas, that Beck still strives for.

I had considered ya'lls interpretations, though, and while I don't want to make the story intentionally misleading, it seemed like such a "Beck" thing to say that I couldn't resist.

I still haven't decided what path Beck's life will take. It's entirely possible that by the end of the school year even Beck won't be sure. I'm hoping that I can make the story enjoyable no matter what his/her choice ends up being, though.

Melanie E.

You Can Do No Wrong

This story is so good you can do no wrong. But
an undecided gender has its pluses. If Beck/Becky
becomes like the girl next door his/her kisses will
become like the kisses the girl next door gives
her boyfriend. And we know how thrilling they are.
An element of taboo gives her hugs and kisses a
thrill factor. Which makes stories such as this
both dangerous and addictive. And I am a "junky"
loving this story.

Kaptin Nibbles

Perhaps I comment to much. But it is only on 2
or 3 stories. When they end I plan to get a life.

Kaptin, There's no such thing...

[email protected] ...as too many comments. The authors enjoy them almost as much, if not more, as the readers do.

Why don't you go ahead and register? The interactivity with the authors and other members is truly amazing! I know I hovered around for several months before joining. I regret the months I missed out on.

As for getting a life; this place has added so much to the value of my own, that I don't know where I'd be without it. It's a home and a family that I wish I might have had all along.

Hugs,

Jonelle

Yes comments are very apreciated

it helps give the writer feedback, on what they are doing right or wrong , sometimes constructive criticism is better than oh that was nice.
Goddess Bless you

Love Desiree

Goddess Bless you

Love Desiree

Thank You

And I think I will register.

Kaptin Nibbles

It's about time KN!

I always read your comments and sometimes think, "Bloody visitors are having too much to say"!

I'm sure you will be most welcome, as I was and I have made some great email friends as well!

I have found the BCTS authors and commentators to be fun, fair and friendly!

Not to mention the great variety and quality of stories.

LoL
Rita

Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!
(Mark Twain)

LoL
Rita

Princess For Hire Part 9

It's easy to see that her dad loves his Princess and vice versa. But what about the mother and stepdad? will they arrive and spoil everything?

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Three words come to mind every time I read this series

Andrea Lena's picture

Novel...new and very interesting. Sweet...very nice, gentle and careful exposition of the tale. And unpredictable...just when we think we know where you're going with this you take a side trip or a completely different direction. Excellent as always.

She was born for all the wrong reasons but grew up for all the right ones.
Con grande amore e di affetto, Andrea Lena

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Over the top is fun!

And even more so when it's appreciated! Especially by the most sincere of appreciations! ^_^

Faraway


On rights of free advertisement:
Big Closet Top Shelf

Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!

Faraway


On rights of free advertisement:
Big Closet Top Shelf

Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!

- Choose Comment Subject -

Enter comment here. For maximum self-aggrandizement, be sure to inject yourself into the story, second-guess the author regarding the plot or character motivations, or run off on a tangent about some other story you've read, which relevance only you understand. For extra points, compare it to a classic novel that you read in English class in high school. For double points, compare it to a book on the New York Times non-fiction best seller list.

To show how smart you are, and masterful at writing, use part of your comment space to point out trivial errors in spelling or grammar that the author made. You can do this even if the story doesn't have any, and just later claim that the author must have followed your advice and made the corrections.

___________________
Select a message footer to appear here and on every other comment you ever post. Be sure to select an innocent phrase that won't annoy anyone until they've seen it at least six times, and don't ever change it. Optionally, you may also link a self-promoting photograph of yourself that you thinks looks good, but that gives everyone else nightmares.

- Choose Comment Subject -

Me, I think this comment should continue. I can see a lot of ideas that you could write about. This comment is very funny and reminds me of a very funny comment that I read on another website. I notice that you don't use semi-colons. Oh, do you think this comment makes me look funny?


I've got a friggin' headache! Belle

Far to Harsh

Far to harsh on your fellow commentators. Perhaps
you need a hug from Andrew and a kiss from Becky.
Preferably on your lips. The hug to warm your
heart and the kiss to seal your lips. Your hands
and pen is free to roam but not on my Becky.

Kaptin Nibbles

-Comment Comment Subject Matter-

:P I've been guilty of several of those errors more than once, though I do try to watch myself. I think the one I commit the most though is the 'spelling errors' one, which gets to me pretty bad and can make or break a story after a certain point.

As for the footer, I just go with my name. It doesn't annoy people (unless they dislike me) and is simple!

If this story could be compared to either a work of classic literature or a national bestseller, I would be surprised. I'm nowhere near a good enough writer to qualify for either list :D

Melanie E.

Stereotypes?

Well, I suppose this counts as "Enter comment here." I don't generally insert myself into stories, but speculating on future plot developments or character motivations can be fun - and it's interesting to look back in x episodes time and see how right / wrong you were. As for comparisons, in High School I read Spring and Port Wine (ZZZzzzzz), R&J (naturally!), The Scottish Play (just to fill the Will quota) and Lord of the Flies. Neither of which are very useful analogies to the majority of fiction here (and in another story on this site, I can't imagine Sam Springer bumping off the Hawthorne clan). Oh dear, I've just run off on a tangent. Comparing to a book on the non-Fiction bestseller list. Hmm. I doubt it's still on the list, but a certain Charles Darwin tome might possibly get studied by the students at Kingston Academy. Trivial spelling / grammar errors? Only rarely, and then only if others have done so. On the couple of occasions when I've noticed a particularly annoying error, I've PM'd the author. As for grammar, I always thought semicolons were supposed to get an outing in long lists :)

But I'm guessing that at least part of that comment was a copy/paste job from somewhere on the 'net, as it's fairly generic and could apply to many fiction sites. And you (or the original author) have missed a few clichés - emoticons, moaning about the usage of ellipses (...), using multiple exclamation marks to really drive a point home, linking to random articles on the 'net, and particularly with reference to pointing out spelling / grammar errors, "Do as I say, not as I do." Then there's repeating the story title in the subject box, signing your name before the rest of your comment, and no doubt about 101 other examples of potentially bad practice.

Needless to say, I have a typically geeky statement in my signature box. As for a photo, err, no thanks.

Now to think up of a comment relating to the story itself...

 


EAFOAB Episode Summaries

There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...

As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

Thanks!

Finally got caught up on my reading for this one! Sweet and gentle is right with just enough problems to give it a bit of spice. Wonderful!

Hugs!
Grover

Princess for Hire 8

I am a fan of the "Princess,Princess" anime, and I have to say that your story gives it proper respect. I love the way you present everything, and I look forward to each new chapter. Thank you very much, keep it coming!

Wren

OMG!!!!!!!!!

Your story is officially my favoritest story ever, you used Sweet lolita I love you forever now :D

I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Bisexual, transsexual, gamer girl, princess, furry that writes horror stories and proud ^^

I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Transgender, Gamer, Little, Princess, Therian and proud :D

Why Not

Hetero-flexible, or a princess looking for the
right person irregardless of gender. I share
the same joy in reading this story. Many thanks
to the author.

Kaptin Nibbles

Of course!

You asked, and since I had requested such suggestions, it would be rude of me not to deliver when I could, would it not?

I need to read back over older comments so I can refresh myself on other user's requests, but you've been asking for this for several chapters, so I wanted this to be the first one I had really prominent in the story. It was just kind of hard to come up with a situation acceptable in an American school setting where I could do it -- most Americans aren't as fond of their costumes as the Japanese are. :P I'm glad you liked it!

Melanie E.

*giggles*

I'm not like most americans, I'm a sweet lolita at heart, and when I can I'll start buying those kinds of outfits, my girlfriend is really supportive of it, she thinks I look like a cute little kitten princess that she just wants to huggle and pick me up and take me home ;D

I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Bisexual, transsexual, gamer girl, princess, furry that writes horror stories and proud ^^

I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Transgender, Gamer, Little, Princess, Therian and proud :D

Men!

terrynaut's picture

Dang. I'm late but I finally found time for this sweet story.

I loved most of it but I got a little upset about Beck's stepfather. That man sounds like quite a jerk. It sounds like Beck's mom took a big step down when she divorced Beck's real father and married the jerk. Ugh.

Okay. The cotton candy factory explosion was my favorite part. What a visual!

Anyway, thanks for another chapter.

- Terry

It was lovely that Becky's dad could visit...

but so sad that he could not stay.

I loved to see their obvious affection for one another. It might come as a surprise to Becky, but they were clearly interacting like a father and daughter, not father and son. Just one of those things she'll have to figure out in her own time...

SuZie

SuZie

Seemed Fine to Me

terrynaut's picture

I wouldn't want my father to bring his work home (he was a truck driver). I like that Beck's father didn't dress in drag for Parent's Day.

I loved the line, "I'm wearing a dress."

This is a great story. Thanks and please keep up the good work.

- Terry

Thanks Melanie!!

Pamreed's picture

Becky is very lucky to have her dad!!It was his influence that
I think allowed her to be a Princess!! Still not sure which way
this story is going!! But I like the details and building up the
characters!! I still have a ways to catch up, but that is the fun
part, not having to wait!!

Hugs,
Pamela