Part 50 By Anistasia Allread “This is a don't ask, don't tell situation.” Aunt Carrie stated. “I'm only giving you some information, the rest is up to you. If anyone asks, you didn't hear any of this from me.” She gave Erika a penetrating look. Erika nodded. |
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P&P 50
Erika finished putting on her face. She sat on the edge of her bed and pulled her boots on over her tights and zipped them up over her calf. She stood up and spent a couple of seconds getting used to balancing on the heel before heading down stairs to where the smell of bacon and eggs was being emitted.
“Good morning, Sunshine.” Aunt Carrie greeted, standing over the stove watching the eggs.
“Good morning.” Erika greeted. “You're up early.”
“I'm one of those disgusting morning people.” Carrie smiled.
“Ick.” Erika made a face.
“One of the things you'll learn is that the older you get, the less sleep you seem to need.” Carrie flipped the egg and turned to grab some toast that the toaster just popped up. “How do you like your eggs?”
“I don't eat breakfast.” Erika stated.
“Well, this morning you do.” Carrie told her. “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Didn't your parents tell you that?”
“Over and over again.” Erika sighed.
“Well they're right. Sit your cute little butt down and I'll bring you something to eat.
“I really don't have time.” Erika protested.
“Well, You are going to make time today.” Carrie placed her hand on her hip.
“Mom?” Erika looked to her mother sipping her tea.
“Don't look at me.” her mother shrugged, “She made me do the same thing.”
Stunned, Erika looked back and forth between her mother and her aunt before plopping down in a chair. “Samantha's going to be here in just a few minutes.” Erika explained.
“She can come in and eat something too.” Carrie placed a plate down in front of Erika.
The smell of bacon filled her nostrils stopping any further protest. Erika tore into her breakfast, partially out of hunger and partially out of a need to get done before her ride arrived.
“Slow down.” Carrie demanded. “You're eating like a half starved wolf-boy. You are a young lady and young ladies need to eat in a civilized fashion.”
The Horn from Samantha's car sounded.
“That's Samantha.” Erika began to get up from her chair with her mouth full of food.
“Sit right back down there, young lady.” Carrie ordered. “I'll go invite her.” The large woman moved towards the door.
“I'm beginning to like her.” Erika's mother smirked at Erika.
Erika rolled her eyes and worked on chewing the food in her mouth. She had planned on preparing Samantha for her Aunt's appearance. As wonderful as she was, she was pretty difficult not to notice.
“Thank you.” Samantha came in. “Oooh it smells great.”
“It'll just take a moment.” Carrie told her.
“Hi Erika.” Samantha greeted. “Mrs. Martin.” She acknowledged her friend's mother.
“I'm sorry.” Erika said around the bacon that she was still chewing on.
“What ever for?” Samantha asked. “for a good breakfast? You know, Erika, breakfast is the most important meal of the day.”
“So I hear.” Erika groaned.
“How do you like your eggs, Samantha dear?”
“I'm not picky.” Samantha took a seat next to Erika. “Leeza is coming into town tonight.”
“Oh?”
“Tricia didn't tell you?”
“No.”
“Well, you've had a lot on your mind lately. She probably didn't want to over load you.”
“Butter on your toast, Hon?” Carrie asked from the kitchen.
“Please.” Samantha smiled.
Erika slipped out her cell and texted Tricia to let her know that they were going to be late.
“Is Leeza a friend?” Carrie asked.
“Tricia's older sister.” Erika stated.
“She was born a guy too.” Samantha stated.
“Another sister.” Carrie nodded. “This town seems to have more than it's share. I wonder if it is in the water?”
“Here you go, Dear.” Carrie placed a plate in front of Samantha before taking a seat next to the blonde girl.
“What about picking up Tricia and getting to school?” Erika asked.
“We've got time.” Samantha placed a bite into he mouth. “Mmm Carrie, you can cook for me anytime.”
“I'm glad you like it.” Carrie's massive hands patted Samantha's.
--o0o--
Tricia slipped into the car. “God it's cold out there.”
“I'm glad my mom insisted on buying me this coat.” Erika agreed.
“So what is she like?” Tricia asked.
“She is wonderful, Tricia.” Samantha blurted out.
“She is definitely crazy.” Erika added.
“Oh?” Tricia asked.
“I don't think she's crazy.” Samantha sounded offended. “She had me come in for some breakfast. Eggs, bacon and toast. It was delicious.”
“Next time come get me first.” Tricia complained. “All I had was oatmeal.”
“You didn't tell me Leeza was coming in tonight.” Erika looked at her girlfriend.
“I did too. I told you a week or two ago that Leeza was coming for Thanksgiving.”
“You did?”
Tricia nodded.
“Oh, well how long is she staying for?”
“She goes back on Monday. She wanted to take me shopping on Black Friday, but that is when you are going in for surgery.”
“So?”
“So, I want to be with you.” Tricia reached out a hand and gently tugged a dark curl.
“I won't be awake until later in the evening or the next day.” Erika explained.
“You can be so dense sometimes, Erika.” Tricia sounded cross. “I love you and am worried about you. I want to be with you.”
“I love you too.” Erika relaxed. Tricia had a way of making her relax. She was like her own personal brand of marijuana.
“Samantha?” Tricia asked.
“What?”
“Is Washington's swim team any good?”
“It took second in the state last year.”
“How about it's diving team?”
“I'm not sure. Why?”
“I'm thinking about trying out for diving.”
“Really?” Erika sounded excited.
Tricia nodded.
“We cheer at the swim meets don't we?” Erika asked Samantha.
“We don't exactly cheer, but we do go and help out the team.”
“Cool.”
--o0o--
Erika waited just inside the front doors to the school. The morning had been very cold. A thick layer of frost still covered many of the shadier areas. The sun was out and shining, but it did very little to warm up the brisk air blowing through the valley that contained Constitution.
A car pulled up to the front of the school and a large hand waved at Erika. Erika opened the doors and carefully navigated the slick steps to the curb.
“Oooh it's cold.” Aunt Carrie greeted.
“I made sure to wear tights under my skirt.” Erika reasoned.
“How did you exam go?”
“Fine.”
“Did you get your homework like your dad asked?”
“What they gave me is in my duffel.” Erika buckled up. “Where are we going?”
“Well. . . . I need a wig.” Carrie stated. “My hair is too thin and limp to do much with so I need to find a good alternative.
“Okay.” Erika was a bit hesitant. Wig shopping was the last place she thought they would be going. “I don't know of any wig stores.”
“I Googled them this morning.” Aunt Carrie pulled out of the school parking lot. “So, Erika, tell me about this decision of yours.”
“My decision to be a girl?”
Carrie nodded.
Erika told her about the beginning of summer and the dare/bet that Samantha had made and the steps they had taken from that point on.
“That is one very busy summer.” Carrie parked the car.
Erika looked around and found herself in a very run down seedy part of town. A small store in front of them had a bunch of wigs displayed in the window.
“Have you worn wigs before?” Erika asked.
“Right when I decided to transition into the beautiful bombshell before you,” She smirked, “I wore one. They aren't the most comfortable things, but when out running errands or going on dates, I want to look my best. My female pattern baldness isn't the best look these days.”
“You date?” Erika asked, caught off guard.
“Of course. What woman wants to be left alone in her later years. I don't like cats after all.” Carrie smiled.
The two got out of the car and ventured into the wig store.
Erika had never been in a wig store before. The contents of the store both fascinated and repulsed her at the same time.
“Welcome, ladies.” a voice called from the back of the store. Erika looked up from a red wig to see a large man lumber forward. “How can I be of assistance?”
“I'm looking for a wig.” Aunt Carrie stated. “My poor follicles just don't want to keep up with the latest fashions.”
“Well, you've come to the right place. I'm Carl and this is my place. I have synthetic wigs, mixed wigs, ox hair wigs as well as human hair wigs.”
“Ox hair?” Erika questioned.
“Yes. Ox hair is very similar to human hair, just a little bit more course. It is cheaper than human hair and looks better than synthetic.”
“I haven't worn a wig in years and that one was a horrible scratchy synthetic wig.” Carrie stated. Can I see the ox hair?”
“Of course.” the man smiled. “Please, come this way.. . . ”
“Carrie.” Aunt Carrie gave him her name. “This is my niece, Erika.”
“Pleased to meet you both.” he led them over to a table with a mirror in front of it. “Please have a seat.”
Carl asked Carrie a series of questions and nodded with each of the answers. Erika lost interest after a few moments and began wandering around the store. She tried on a wig here and there and admired herself in the mirror. Blonde looked to wash her out too much. The cherry red however, made her eyes pop in a little different way than her natural black.
“Erika, honey?” Aunt Carrie called.
Erika put down the wig and went to her aunt who was looking at herself wearing a hair piece in a mirror.
“Does this say old lady?” her aunt turned towards her.
“I think it might be a bit dark, Aunt Carrie.” Erika stated.
“Do you have this in a blonde?” she asked Carl.
“I'll be right back.” Carl dismissed himself.
“What about this?” Aunt Carrie asked. Slipping a red bobbed wig on.
“Too drag queen.” Erika bit her lip.
“I thought so too.” Carrie took the wig off and slipped a blonde wig on. “What do you think?”
“I think that one is a bit long.” Erika commented. She hoped she wasn't being too harsh with her Aunt.
“Here you are.” Carl huffed over to the large woman.
“You can take these back.” Carrie pushed the hair pieces to Carl. “We've ruled them out.”
Carl nodded while Carrie slipped into the new hair piece.
“I like that.” Erika nodded.
Carrie looked into the mirror and smiled. “I do too. This is why I brought you along, sweetie.”
“I'm not being too harsh am I?” Erika asked.
“Not at all, Darling. I need an honest opinion.”
“Did you see this one over here?” Erika asked pointing to a mannequin head displaying a hair piece.
“Ooh, bring that one over.” Aunt Carrie clapped her large hands in excitement. She carefully pulled off the one that she had already decided upon and slipped into the one that Erika offered.
“I like it.” Erika nodded.
Aunt Carrie looked in the mirror and checked it out from different angles. “You're right, this one's a keeper.”
“Thank you Carl.” Aunt Carrie waved as the two made their exit from the store. Aunt Carrie wore a new hair piece and had two others gently tucked into their own boxes in a bag.
“Where to now?” Erika asked as she buckled up.
“Makeup.” her Aunt smiled.
“You want to go to the mall?” Erika asked.
“They are good for normal people.” Aunt Carrie drove down the street, but I need something a bit more. . . . potent. I googled a place.”
“I'm beginning to think you know more about this town than I do.” Erika teased.
“When you are transgender, you quickly learn to rely upon the Internet.” Aunt Carrie got on to the freeway. “How are you feeling about this surgery in a few days?” She asked.
“I'm not sure.” Erika stated. “I know I need to get it removed, but I don't want to get inundated with Testosterone.” Erika fell silent looking at her aunt.
“You don't want to look like me. A man in a dress trying to pass as a woman.” Aunt Carrie finished.
“That isn't what I said.” Erika defended.
“Its okay, Erika. I know who and what I am. I'm Crazy Aunt Carrie, or as some say, That deranged Will, who dresses like a girl.” She tossed Erika a smile. “I just wish that I had the opportunity that you do. To realize who I was and be as brave to tell my family before the hormones did this to my body.”
Erika didn't know what to say.
“The doctors won't give you HRT?”
“They say that I'm too young.”
“What about blockers?”
“They want me to wait for a few months. That's the problem. My body could start pumping out testosterone in the gallons, then where would I be?”
“Are you hungry?” Aunt Carrie asked.
“I guess.” Erika was thrown off by the question.
Aunt Carrie pulled off of the freeway and to a small deli. “Lets get something to munch on.”
The two ordered salads and decided to split a piece of 'Death by chocolate'.
Aunt Carrie pulled a small pad of paper and a pen out of her bag and handed them to Erika. “I want you to write this down.” She fished out her mobile phone and tapped away at it until she found what she was looking for.
“This is a don't ask, don't tell situation.” Aunt Carrie stated. “I'm only giving you some information, the rest is up to you. If anyone asks, you didn't hear any of this from me.” She gave Erika a penetrating look.
Erika nodded.
“Here is a list of over the counter herbs and amounts. These will help increase your oestrogen levels in a way that is 'natural'.”
“You can do that?” Erika asked.
Aunt Carrie nodded. “Just promise me that you'll be careful. And If you have questions that you get a hold of me before you try anything on your own.”
“I promise.” Erika nodded.
“You'll want to hold off on taking any of this until you're two weeks in recovery. Since they might show upon you blood test.”
“Two weeks?” Erika groaned.
“If anyone asks, you were told that they would help with breast growth.”
“Will they?” Erika perked back up.
“Some of them can.” Aunt Carrie nodded.
“Do I have to wait?” Erika whined.
Aunt Carrie nodded. She slowly read the names on her list as well as amounts to be taken.
The two finished off their 'Death by chocolate' and got back on the freeway.
“Where are we going after you get your makeup?” Erika asked.
“Shoe shopping.” Aunt Carrie grinned. “Do you know how hard it is to buy cute shoes for woman's size thirteen?”
--o0o--
To be continued. . .
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Comments
Aunt Carrie and reality.
Ya know, it is really disappointing that you did not share Carrie's list with us! :)
It sounds like Carrie is bringing some attitude that Erica needs to learn into the situation.
Nice Chapter. Now can we please get the Operation over?
Khadijah
Somewhere, Over the Rainbow
I'm liking the slow pace of this story. I hope it continues. Sorry, Gwen.
Aunt Carrie adds some good depth to the story. I'm hoping to see a lot more of her.
As for breakfast... yes! I heartily recommend it. Food is good. Just make sure to eat well. Eating well helps me stay so very lively and that's a good thing... mostly.
Thanks for the chapter! Please keep up the good work.
- Terry
Excellent Job...
...of conveying Carrie's personality and assertiveness to us. Even Mom seems s little overwhelmed.
(That "people need less sleep as they get older" line was great -- spoken like someone who spends her life overcoming physical limitations...)
Eric
All that talk of
bacon and eggs has made me hungry, So before i toddle off to feed my face....A quick comment, Carrie is like a ray of light for Erika, At least now she has hope that maybe Eric will not be a reappearance...Now for my breakfast!!
Kirri
The Princess and the Plague: 50
Count on Aunt Carrie to give Erika the info she needs.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Sorry to burst the bubble -
RAMI
I'm sure that my comment is not going to be popular, and I am sorry to burst everyone's bubble of happiness, but it seems to be that with someone as impulsive as Erika, who does not think clearly or rationally at times, Aunt Carrie is placing her niece in jeopardy. I can easily see Erika obtaining these so called "safe" herbs and other over the counter concoctions and not using them in either a safe manner or as they are supposed to be used.
That Aunt Carrie is willing to a) to trust a teenager to act rationally, b) is willing to go behind brother's back to give Erika access to these "drugs", and c) then tells that child, "This is a don't ask, don't tell situation.†“I'm only giving you some information, the rest is up to you. If anyone asks, you didn't hear any of this from meâ€, does not speak well for Aunt Carrie. A responsible adult does not do such things. She may be a good cook, but she is a sneak, a liar, and an extreme danger to her niece.
Maybe there are reasons other then her being transgendered that caused her family to be wary of her?
RAMI
RAMI
Overreact Much?
I wouldn't characterize Aunt Carrie's actions in quite the same way. Erika has access to the internet and is just as likely to come up with piles of misinformation on her own, or with the help of her friends, including much more dangerous concoctions. I prefer to see Aunt Carrie as sharing the best, most authoritative information she has with Erika, establishing trust, and helping prevent the mistakes that others have made. Sure, maybe it's a mistake to trust a teen with information, but it's a bigger mistake to trust them to find the right information on their own.
At the extreme end of the spectrum, one of the "solutions" teens sometimes come up with to their problems is a rather final one.
No question I would be desperate too
and would have found a way out also. I would be seriously angry if I had been given such a golden gift and then have it squandered because doctors, to cover their malpractice butt, forbid me from taking what I know I need.
Me, I would have found some way to get the blockers illegally if I had to.
Kim
No Overreaction - I still question what occurred.
RAMI
Pippa I do not think I overreacted. You are assuming that Dear Aunt Carrie will be around to supervise Erika in her "experimentation" with these products and as you say "helping prevent the mistakes that others have made". But, there is nothing to show that she is anything but a relative who is a seldom visitor. If I remember correctly, Eric has never met dear Aunt Carrie, and if he has it was when he was very young and has no memory of her.
Even if I were to concede that the list of herbs she provided to Erika was benign and not dangerous, her caution that Erika was not to ever divulge what was happening and if caught to deny that Aunt Carrie was involved, shows her to be a sneak and dangerous. If Aunt Carrie truly believed her actions were proper and pure, she would have talked with her brother about it, or at minimum be willing to own up to what she did if Erika was confronted by her parents.
RAMI
RAMI
from a size 20/22W, shoe size 13W ...
... I LIKE Aunt Carrie!
(Payless has very comfortable 13W shoes from flats to 4" heel pumps although you'll probably have to order them online - but delivery to your closest payless store is free. If you are looking for 13W or WW, give me an IM.)
BE a lady!
On the other hand ...
I agree with Rami that it was irresponsible of AC to give Erika the "natural" info behind her brother's back. A few months before Erika can get blockers won't make that much difference.
BE a lady!
And your basis for that is?
How do you know a few months won't make a difference? Hormones are VERY potent things and people react in varying ways. I wouldn't want to take that chance.
Kim
Even Testosterone does not
Even Testosterone does not change the body drastically overnight. It takes quite some time for all of those changes to take effect, and while I sympathisize with Erika and don't want her to have changes that she doesn't want there are ways to a) test for it as she goes, so that they can react if necessary and b) see the start of it before it becomes too much.
Her Aunt's actions are irresponsible in the extreme. She knows nothing about the medical reasons that Erica's doctor's don't want to start the blockers right after the surgery. Erika has her father's strong support, and also Dr. Barts, if this was just Mom wanting irreperable changes to occur to force Erika to make a harder decision, they would not be backing it.
As a parent, I would be livid at her Aunt over this.
Kristine
Wouldn't It Depend?
Very few natural herbal medicines and adjuncts are as effective as prescription drugs, especially when it comes to hormone balance. In giving Erika a list of over-the-counter herbs, Carrie is doing more to bolster Erika's comfort level than she is to change Erika's hormone balance in any drastic way. This is not to say that what Carrie suggested won't be at least somewhat effective, but for sure it will keep Erika busy, and possibly out of worse trouble.
Anyway, before I'd get mad at Carrie, I'd want to know exactly what she suggested Erika take. For all we know, it's 95% placebo. On the other hand, if she sent Erika to a veterinary supply house for estrogen supplements, I'd be pretty angry.
Herbals can effect other
Herbals can effect other things, and knowing that the doc's are concerned about interactions and problems after the surgery, she should have kept her mouth shut. If anything she should have approached Erika's father.
Kristy
It really depends on individual chemistry
I have a cousin, a boy, that had the most BEAUTIFUL Soprano singing voice. The first time he wavered when singing, it almost crushed him... he loved to sing... and less than 90 days later he was a bass, and quite hairy. The height came over the course of the next couple of years.
But some changes are pretty quick and once made they don't go back the other way.
It's amazing what things drive us...
...I spent nearly all my life trying to speak more "masculine" and now I cry over not being able to sing the high notes anymore. I'm still in the alto/tenor range after all these years, though, and I can feel good about singing sweet songs in harmony in the car, yes?
Love, Andrea Lena
Just to be a Great Horned God Advocate,
I don't think low dose blockers do all that much except block T.
I think Carrie should buy them on the internet and send them to Erika, 2 weeks after the op! She could lecture Erika that taking more is not like taking estrogen. Taking more won't help. Wimyn all have a bit of T in their system. Give Erika exactly 4 weeks worth and tell her that she won't get more til 4 weeks later. If she takes too many at first, she'll just run out.
Carrie could say that if the blockers or Erika taking them are discovered, they'll cross that bridge IF they come to it. Carrie could actually have in mind to talk to Dad if Erika's caught. Carrie and Erika can easily communicate by 'net or phone.
Carrie could also contact Dad just after Erika gets her pills, and tell him how bad it could be if Erika doesn't get on blockers, because Carrie knows. Carrie could also say that she just refuses to let some bumbling, wishy-washy doctors irrevocable ruin Erika's body through Mom's meddling, confusion, procrastination or transphobia!
Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee
Ready for work, 1992.
Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee
Puberty Blockers
In Erika's case, she needs puberty blockers more than she needs T-blockers. The puberty blocker is a synthetic analogue (in other words, a similar, but not exact copy) of the pituitary signalling hormone, GnRH. The reason it works is that part of the feedback loop in the body (the hypothalamus) recognizes it, and part of it (the pituitary) doesn't. It doesn't actually change the hormone balance, it just tricks the hypothalamus into thinking it already told the pituitary to tell the gonads to do their thing, which puts off the onset of puberty.
The way the sex hormones work is this: the hypothalamus makes GnRH, which signals the pituitary to release LH and FSH, which signal the gonads to release their hormone (testosterone or estrogen). Levels of the various hormones in the body affect the other ones in a complicated feedback arrangement that's supposed to be self-regulating.
With her tumor pressing on it, Erika's pituitary is squished and isn't functioning right, so even if the hypothalamus is signalling it, it can't do anything about it. I wonder if surgery in cases like that fully restores the pituitary, or even spares it, and how long it takes to recover. I'm betting it would at least take a while.
And the controversy continues!
Personally, I think it goes something like this.
Everyone has an agenda. Dad brought Carrie back out of his innate sense of justice. He believes that Carrie will in turn help Erika.
Mom came back from her mother's with a completely different attitude. Perhaps it's because Carrie was coming. Maybe she thinks Erika will be so appalled by Carrie's physical characteristics and the way people react to her she'll "change her mind." Mom seems to be the one that will in fact be doing the mind changing, however. It seems to already have started. Bear in mind that Carrie arrived by plane and picked Erika up from school the next day. Unless she rented a car it was likely Mom's vehicle she was driving so she's at least gained some trust from Mom.
Carrie is like many of us. She's known as Crazy Aunt Carrie because she is seen as overly exuberant and outgoing, gregarious. In reality it's a cover for her own timidity and need for acceptance. She desperately wants to be loved and accepted by Erika. And she wants to help Erika in any way she can. In order to be able to help Erika however, she has to become close to her, so perhaps the thing with the herbals is more a fake conspiracy than anything else. Carrie knows from her own experience that denied HRT for whatever reason, a desperate teen will seek to implement their own plan. By providing her an out, she kills two birds with one stone. First, she gives Erika a reasonably "safe" way to assuage her needs while secondly, by couching it as a conspiracy between the two of them, gains Erika's trust. Carrie knows as well as any transwoman that herbals are really almost placebos, unless you happen to be that rare individual who happens to be overly sensitive to a particular root or berry. And we don't know, Carrie may have already talked to Dad about this and in fact they may have hatched the idea together!
Erika and her friends for the most part are like most teen kids. They are just part of the soup, and is unaware of the swirling mass of broth and other ingredients floating around them.
What great fun this story is!
Brava, Anastasia!
Hugs
Carla Ann
Keep going the way you're going
Anistasia, I hope you don't mind a little controversy. It shows interest in your story, but you have to sail on ahead where you were going in the first place, and don't be influenced.
I like this realistic, life-sized Aunt Carrie! She is such a likeable person, strong and friendly.
I'm always glad to see this story.
Hugs,
Kaleigh
Aunt Carrie
I am starting to love aunt Carrie. She has a wonderfull and understanding can-do attitude.
Jessica
“I just wish that I had the opportunity that you do."
yeah, me too, sometimes.