I woke up this morning with needing to deal with SOMEONE, Goofle once (again ???). Perhaps what happened is merely a minor disturbance in the force. Their little ARMY was simply "Being All They Could Be". I'll get over it.

I hate to say this. I feel betrayed. I'm post operative MTF and thought I was sailing along just fine.

I had wondered why my Doctor had not renewed my prescription of Estradiol .1 patches. She is unwilling to discuss the matter with me, or it seems that way.

In the last months I've had Edema in both legs, odd spots on my skin. Now I am scheduled to have a heart image procedure with dye. They seem to be very concerned with tumors on my spine and brain and Stroking out.

I NEED HELP !!!

I was just now looking at the Movie, "Night Bitch", with Amy Adams. The musical score in the movie is something I remember from my past. I tried to find it on YouTube and other places... but no joy.

Can anyone help me?

Ahabidah

Obeying site rules, I won't bring certain issues up

Do you feel safe at your home?

I'm thinking about backup measures. Thinking some hostile things that I am not likely to do.

What say you???

Ahabidah

The last fortnight in August, 2024 has been awful, with several painful, but undiagnosed illnesses. The Doctors seem stumped or just plain don't care.

On a positive note, I have discovered that not using a cane or a walker stops or greatly diminishes the pain in my body. Part of this may be due to my scoliosis. I used to wear very firm back braces, but not recently. Somehow these mobility devices seem to aggravate all that. For now I am just going to enjoy it all. I do not have an automobile sucking my blood.

I have been told by non family members that I am super strong and it is amazing that I survived, even excelled at times. My own family has "Ghosted" me, and despite that I fire back at them that after due consideration they were not "worth" it. Nearing the end of my life at times I wish that I had done other things with it. To my children: I'd like my seed back. They have misused it.

It often wonder how the population of BCTS got so strong and how I came to be even grudgingly accepted here. I know that what I write is pure excrement...I'm trying as hard as I can.

Thinking about publishing on Literotica. Have not signed up. No username chosen. ???

On the BCTS site and the larger Internet, there are citizens from literally every part of the world. Despite my own cautious belief in a higher order of things, human activity, earthquakes, volcanoes, tornadoes, hurricanes and other chilling events, I'll admit to being quite tense and sleepless at times.

Then there are the nutty conspiracy theorists that at times make life all the harder.

I am sort of flattered: I stumbled onto a Forced Fem story on You tube that is almost word for word my "Autobiography", and "You Did What To Me".

I messaged them but do not intend to ask You tube to take it down.

Some of you may be offended if their work is stolen like this.

I am not sure what to do.

Ahabidah, Gwen Brown.

Depending on what will happen in the USA in the next 120 days, how safe will those of our ilk be here in America. I briefly looked into fleeing to Israel, but that is not practical for me, and perhaps not safe. I was considering Tel Aviv. I was just looking at going to western or central Canada, but that just seems impractical to me.

So, perhaps it is best to just say where I am and hope for the best.

Ahabidah, Gwen Brown

I'm disgustingly old, 77 1/2, and while there have not been any diagnoses of Dementia or Alzheimer's, I'm tired, so tired. The Doctors such as they are think I have MS. For now, I plan to keep writing as a relief to my severe Depression, I do not plan to publish any more whether under Ahabidah, or Gwen Brown. I'm hoping that I die in my sleep rather than rot away in a care center. I was going to leave my email but that will expose me to scammers, so perhaps I'll just check the site for PMs, if there are any. Should anyone want to, I am sure the Admins can contact me.

In the midst of coping with the world situation, I've heard about a Term that is new to me and used by someone I've never heard of; Charli ????

Feeling hyper alert in the present situation in the US.

"Dust" is a maker of internet short videos. I got curious about them, who they are, where they are, how they function and all that. I did not find out if they use sources outside their group, or if they pay them. It's just an idea but perhaps some of the better writers on BCTS could submit their work to Dust, you know, take a flyer. They might even be interested in TG content. I see a lot of TG content on YouTube nowadays.

Just an idea.

Ahabidah

I was just cruising Amazon Kindle and saw "Jane" by Joyce Melton. It this a continuation of the 'Jane' I already read? OR is it the same one?

Ahabidah

It was still about 95 Degrees F (35 c) at 1:00 am this morning and though my apartment was 76 F or so, I woke up with cabin fever and stepped outside to get away from the noise of the chiller. As I sat there, I could hear a woman on the street screaming hysterically. She sounded close enough that I decided to see if calling the Police was in order. She was actually about 2 blocks away, so walking as fast as I could it took less than 5 minutes to get to her.