Just speaking for myself, I hate suspense. I don’t like the anxiety of anticipation. Whatever weird, creepy plan Donaldson had in store for me, I wanted to face it and get it over with. If it wasn’t inevitable, I’d put up a fight. If it *was* inevitable, avoiding it wouldn’t help.

“We’re in the middle of outer space, so you’d think that SOMETHING weird or out-of-this-world would happen every couple of days. But NOTHING! Nothing ever happens here. You are the single biggest event since we left Earth, and I doubt that anything’s going to top you for a long, long time.”

As we ate, a question occurred to me. “Couldn’t we -- couldn’t someone
take my corrupted profile and fix it? Or take one of me now and edit it,
to change me from female back to male?”

“Don’t worry!” she said with a laugh. “This was a very common test, way back when.
It was often mentioned in comedy routines of that era, so I’m sure that it doesn’t hurt at all.
In fact, from what I read, some men quite enjoyed it.”

Santa’s Helper (Sexy!) With Boots : 5 / 6

An Altered Fates Story
By Iolanthe Portmanteaux

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’ve been through a lot in the past few days -- I mean, the past DAY --
but I have to say, I haven’t seen my face look that sad in a long time.
What’s wrong?”

Santa’s Helper (Sexy!) With Boots : 3 / 6

An Altered Fates Story
By Iolanthe Portmanteaux

“I hear you need some help getting your car back,” Grady said,
and his voice resonated in her chest. In that moment,
it was the sexiest thing on earth that any man had ever said.

“Yes,” she replied, hoping he could detect all of the heat and desire
that she’d loaded into that word.

Santa’s Helper (Sexy!) With Boots : 1 / 6

An Altered Fates Story
By Iolanthe Portmanteaux

It was one of those cheap Halloween costumes, the type that’s sexy this or sexy that.
Sexy policewoman, sexy nurse, sexy maid, sexy devil. What they all had in common
was a short skirt to show lots of leg, a low neckline to show lots of cleavage, and
tight panties to show lots of... well, lots of those brightly-colored panties.

Sexual Innovations in the Underworld, 1 / 2

By Iolanthe Portmanteaux

“You could be worse off,” MacGregor would say, and he’d gesture at me. “You could be turning into a wee lassie, like our friend Henry here.”

“I’m not turning into a girl!” I replied in an irritated tone.

The Plan-B Bust: 4 / 5

An Altered Fates Story
by Iolanthe Portmanteaux

“Promise me, Caresse, if it comes to it, that you will just go. Don’t look for me, don’t call my name, don’t say goodbye. Just go. You have to leave the dead to bury their own dead.”

The Plan-B Bust: 1 / 5

An Altered Fates Story
by Iolanthe Portmanteaux

“Look at her! There is nothing she can do that isn't sexy!" Joseph exclaimed. "That woman is a living, breathing sex bomb! If the atom bomb could be a woman, it would be Caresse Desmesne.”

“That makes no sense whatsoever,” William replied, “but I know what you mean, brother!”

How I Met Your Mother-In-Law

An Altered Fates Story
By Iolanthe Portmanteaux

“Anyway, she needs your help with something… something to do with the wedding, and she’s going to pay your way. What do you think about that?”

What did I think about that? I thought it sounded like the beginning of a horror movie. I was scared out of my wits; that’s what I thought about that.