Kitty huffed, a little impatiently, and explained, "Claus has this silly joke about a clone factory..."

"—in Omaha," Claus threw in.

"Why Omaha?" Dad asked.
 

I took a big step back, away from her, and tried to be ready.
If this was going to be a physical fight, I was going to give it everything I had.
I figured Amber and I were about on par. If she started something,
I sure as hell intended to give her as bad as I got.

No map ever drawn, on earth, on sea, or in outer space,
has ever presented a cartographer as daunting a challenge
as the seating chart for a wedding reception.

Which reminds me: I had a third reason for feeling nervous. My dad was coming up for a visit.
Vivianne had planned for it, though I didn't expect it to happen so quickly after Nessa's wedding.

"The more you clean," Melissa told me, "the more you'll see that needs cleaning."

"It's a weird twist on Sisyphus," I commented.

"If you say so," she responded.

"I can't put this together," Max laughed. "You're nearly naked, but it's not so you can surprise me.
Did you have to get undressed to spy on Amber?"

"No, look: I was trying to make a quick getaway—"

Let me say, in passing: you have not lived until you've heard French spoken with a Texas accent.

"You know, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

"Is that true?" I asked. "I've heard people say that, but is it really true?"

"I don't know," Melissa confessed, "but I do know that men are happier after they eat. If we feed him every night, he's going to associate that happy feeling with you. And that's a good thing."

Kitty gave a impatient little huff. "Look — it's not like I spy — that's not what it's like."

"So, what's it like, then?"

"Amber is concerned about Max. She really cares about him and wants to know what's going on in his life. She wants what's best for him."

I couldn't help it. I laughed out loud.

Soon I was back to the old me, clothes and all.

"How do you feel?" Viv asked.

"Prosaic," I replied.

"Awww," she cooed with an encouraging smile. "That feeling will fade. Don't worry. Come, let me give you a hug."

As we walked, Viv kept looking at my face. At last she asked, "You look anxious.
Are you? Are you worried about something?"

"Yes," I admitted. "I'm worried that I could get stuck like this."

An Altered Fates Story
A second look at the 1967 film, The Graduate
and the 1963 novella of the same name by Charles Webb.
By Iolanthe Portmanteaux
 

“What are you doing, Jenny?” Ben asked.

In answer, Jenny took his glass and brought it to his lips, forcing him to take a generous sip.
“What do you think I’m doing? I’m getting you drunk, so you can take advantage of me.”

An Altered Fates Story
A second look at the 1967 film, The Graduate
and the 1963 novella of the same name by Charles Webb.
By Iolanthe Portmanteaux
 

“What if there’s nothing in the window?” Ben asked. “What does that mean?”

“It doesn’t mean anything,” she answered.

An Altered Fates Story
A second look at the 1967 film, The Graduate
and the 1963 novella of the same name by Charles Webb.
 

“I have a word for you. Are you ready, Ben? The word is: plastics. Think about it.”

Ben’s brow furrowed in confusion. “I.. uh… I don’t understand.”

Mrs Crusoe came to his rescue. “Oh, Chad!” she exclaimed. “He’s too young to get that joke! I’m sure he’s never even heard of that film.”