CAUTION - Attempted Suicide
CAUTION - Highly Emotional Content
CAUTION - Intense scenes involving a minor
--
A month to the day after the accident, Josh went back to school. He walked into the building dressed in a black skirt, top, tights, and flats. He also carried the black backpack that Grace had used for the last three years, the same one he'd had before her. Judy let him keep it as a memento of their love, along with a few other things. He'd asked about the carving he'd given her for her sixteenth birthday, but Judy told him she'd been buried holding it, unwilling to make her daughter ever part with the gift she'd loved nearly as much as Josh himself.
CAUTION - Indirect Reference to Suicidal Thoughts
CAUTION - Intense scenes involving a minor
CAUTION - Highly Emotional Content
--
Josh was 'sick' the next week, which wasn't far from the truth as he was lost in a near constant fugue state. Friday came and he was taken down to Dr. Biggs's office and got his first three-month shot of puberty blockers. The next Monday, he went back to school and met Tracy at the bus stop.
Petrified as he saw the bus coming, Josh knew it was too late to get a ride from his mother as she'd already gone to work. Getting a ride with his father, which wasn't an option as he was not due back until that afternoon, would have been more humiliating than getting on the bus in a dress. He honestly respected his parents and their right to express their opinions, but he'd gotten enough of a hard time in Primary and Intermediate school when his classmates would see the rolling campaign ad for the Democrat Party. Not because of their politics, but simply because it looked so tacky.
After a brief recess, Judge Fallon returned to his bench. "Be seated." he stated wearily. Looking out over the assembled people, he blew out a breath. "This case has been full of esoteric questions. Has Christina been abused by being made to live as a boy, even though she didn't seem to mind much? Did the plaintiffs ever have custody of their child, even with no birth record? Thusly, can parental rights be reinstated, even though they were never legally severed to begin with?"
As Christina walked into the courtroom, she was nervous. Living with her grandparents these last five days had been both wonderful and heartbreaking. That first day they'd been loving toward her, but after her grandmother knew the truth of who she was and told Walter, she'd lost all hope of acceptance.
Climbing out of the car, Lyle knew he was on shaky ground. Officially, as an FBI agent, he had no reason or jurisdiction to be at the inspection of the home Ruth's parents had rented in order to take custody of Christina. Still, he hadn't been able to shake the feeling in his gut that if he didn't look into it, something terrible might happen. After twenty years of first being a cop and then an FBI agent, he'd learned to trust that instinct as it'd saved his life countless times. His hunch had paid off when he'd looked into Nancy's file.
CAUTION - Emotional Abuse and Discussed Physical Abuse
---
Looking in the mirror, Christina sighed and tried to bring her smile back. It had been two weeks since she'd last seen David or Ruth and her optimistic attitude had begun to wane under the stress of missing them.
Waiting for word from her parents, Christina sat with Kathy in her room at the Grants'. When Linda suggested she write the letter, she insisted that she not lie, even insisting on taping the Q-tip she swabbed inside her cheek to the paper herself. Leaving to return to the Grant home, she and Kathy spent the time watching videos online. Hearing the phone ring though, she jumped up and practically ran out into the living room.
"Wait a minute." David interjected with a puzzled look. "You propose we have this girl's DNA tested to see if she's our daughter to prove that she's actually Walt turned into a girl by an angel?"
An hour later, Christina emerged from the bathroom clean, in new clothes that used to be Kathy's, and with her hair dry and styled nicely. Making her way over to the dining room table, she saw no one there.
Sitting at the Grant's dining room table, Christina felt the weight of her change weighing on her more with each passing minute. Kathy is still in love with me, but she can't even face me! Mother and Daddy don't even know me, I have no future, no past... no hope. If I didn't promise Mrs. Grant I'd wait, I would just leave. Biting her lower lip, she waited.
Scared and alone, Christina huddled in the dark of her best friend's bottom drawer, unsure how long she would have to wait there. Praying silently, she tried not to cry.
Staring into Kathy's eyes, Christina knew her best friend had listened in on the conversation with her mother. "You... you remember Christina? Kathy! I'm sorry I didn't tell you! I didn't think you'd believe me!"
Pacing her exam room like a caged animal, Christina had a fist balled up and ready to strike out again at the next person to touch her, even as her other hand held up the loose-fitting pajama bottoms and boxer shorts. Her breath came in rapid intakes through her nostrils and out her mouth.
Stirring slightly, Christina was in the wonderful middle ground between dreaming and waking, still not fully conscious, but no longer asleep. God, that was a beautiful dream! she mused sleepily. It all felt so real!
Looking around her room, Christina smiled. Well, it's as clean as I can get it, anyway! Wiping her hands together, she turned to leave the decidedly boyish bedroom, catching sight of herself in the mirror that was the door to her closet.
Walter Cocoran had a secret. Inside, she was Christina Joy Cocoran instead of the eleven-year-old boy everyone thought she was. In her quiet desperation, Christina tried to be the best girl possible. She did everything her parents told her to do, even the stupid boy things, and did them happily. Every night, she would pray that she would wake up a normal girl. The purity of her faith was noticed and she was given a choice; one that sent her life, and countless others, in a much different direction than she could ever have possibly imagined.
Set in Phoenix, Arizona in 2017, The Wisher's Paradox is a fantastic novella that acts as a catalyst for exploration of magical transgender transformations and the idea that the things that make us who we are and how others perceive us cannot be easily undone without unraveling the fabric of our own lives.
Josh Ryan was not normal. He talked different, walked different, laughed different... and everyone knew it. He had two very close friends who always wanted to help him; in fact, throughout his young life, he always had people around who wanted to help him... usually to fend off his parents who seemed like they would do anything for him. Their desire to help however, often made his own life take a back seat to their ideas of why he was so different and who he should become as a result... "for his own good." Determined to raise Josh 'their way' and according to their own ideas of who he is, it would take extreme circumstances and more pain than Josh ever thought a person could endure for anyone to even begin to see the damage his parents were doing to his childhood, his future, and in the end, his very life... all "with the best of intentions."
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