Her Interest in the Gender Equation

It had been just three years since he graduated from college, and Charlie Daws was working a sales job. For all the use this made of his degree he may as well have skipped college and saved the money. On the job he was really just going through the motions. He still hung out near the university on his time off, and he ate his meals at a lot of the same places the students did. Sometimes he even spent time at the Student Union, not knowing what else to do with his time. Aside from his job he didn’t have a whole lot going on in his life, but he tried not to let this bother him, thinking something would come along, somehow, at some undetermined point.

He was completely unaware that he had been under scrutiny for a couple of months by Connie Green, also a graduate. She worked near the university, and noticed him one day when she had lunch at a diner there. She was just intrigued by his looks, which were not of the ruggedly handsome variety. He was more on the small and androgynous side, and she found that, well, interesting. She speculated on what he’d look like as a woman, how he might act, and oh-so-many other things. She began to keep an eye out for him.

To satisfy her curiosity Connie put her feminine wiles to work, and it was not long before Charlie succumbed and they became an item. He wasn’t that used to female attention, so it wasn’t that much of a challenge for Connie. She liked him, but was more interested in the gender equation. Soon after they met they moved in together. Once they had became intimate Connie playfully got him to wear her camisole, and then panties, then a bra. She fawned over the look and soon had him completely dressed as a woman, and made up. He looked pretty good, and decided he liked it. They went out together many times with him dressed, and Connie was enjoying the novelty.

Looking androgynous had not been his idea; he was just born that way. Dressed as a woman there could now be no doubt in peoples’ minds, so there was none of the hedging and tentative conversations he was used to having when people couldn’t tell what sex he was. That part he really liked.

He was enthusiastic enough about dressing that eventually he decided to live as a woman. He had fallen into the female role and mannerisms fairly quickly, and had always enjoyed the company of females more than males. Now he felt happier, and somehow more motivated, and believed he owed it all to Connie. He became extremely supportive of her, making her feel really loved and adored, and did all he could for her as thanks for bringing out this facet of him.

The downside was that, being happier and knowing she was loved and appreciated, made Connie more attractive for male attention—certainly more than she was used to getting—and she wasn’t exactly spurning it. She liked Charlie a lot, but she wasn’t really in love with him, so she didn’t feel very bad about relishing this attention.

Charlie, who was now going by Claire, could see what was happening, and was painfully aware that Connie was now treating him more as a girlfriend than as a lover.

Then Richard Markus came into Connie’s life. He was a big, rugged jock, with a good job, and had set his eye on Connie and decided she was going to be his. He turned on all his charm and wooed her, and it was working very well. He was aware of Claire in her life, since they lived together, and Connie had, unintentionally, let Richard know that Claire was her old boyfriend. When Richard came to their place, he treated Claire with thinly veiled contempt and disgust, especially when Connie was out of the room, but didn’t hold his tongue even when she was present. In the beginning she mildly told him not to talk to Claire that way, but then, when he failed to stop, she just seemed to ignore it, being spellbound by Richard’s questionable charms.

Claire was heartbroken that Connie actually liked this oaf, and didn’t even speak up for her. She could see how smitten Connie was, and realized that even if she were to point out exactly how huge a jerk Richard was being she wouldn’t listen to her. She applied for and found a job in the next city over. On moving day she gave Connie a hug, whispered, “Thanks for everything,” and disappeared from her life. Connie seemed more bemused than surprised. This left Claire to wonder how Connie must have seen her. As a joke? An experiment? As a girl friend? Did she think Claire no longer liked women? The most likely conclusion seemed to be that Connie just totally lost interest in Claire.

-o0o-

Richard proposed and Connie accepted, looking forward to a happy and fulfilling life. But after the so-called honeymoon phase the shine wore off a little too quickly for her tastes. She found that he didn’t support her hopes, dreams, aspirations, in any way (as Claire had), and in fact seemed to look down on women in general. It was rather a rude shock. In the bedroom, no matter what, she didn’t get pregnant. Richard wanted children, but wouldn’t even consider the fault might be his. He wouldn’t consent to any medical tests, instead just putting all the blame on Connie. Connie did get herself tested and there was nothing amiss in her anatomy, but she didn’t dare tell him. Richard was very controlling, and also didn’t want her working, so she was a housewife with not much to do. She went to the gym and did some volunteer work, but didn’t find herself at all fulfilled.

Things dragged along in this way for close to nine years. She kept thinking it would get better, thanks to short periods where he would be nice to her again, but the two argued more and more. She became aware that he had been seeing other women. Finally one day, during an argument, he hit her. That was the last straw for her, and she left him. She couldn’t believe she’d stuck with him for so long. She had almost no friends, no one she could turn to, so she went to a women’s shelter.

Richard was good friends with a high-priced lawyer, a fraternity brother, in fact, and it was he who instituted divorce proceedings. Connie had no real access to money—naturally everything was in Richard’s name—and was really screwed in the divorce, which took place in a court in which the judge was a friend of the lawyer. Connie was left with the absolute minimum they could get away with. It was somehow arranged that the alimony payment would be hardly enough to live on.

Connie found a barely acceptable apartment in the next town over, and a menial job as a call center agent, making cold calls to people who don’t want to hear from anyone in sales. She was barely able to keep her head above water.

-o0o-

In her new position Claire excelled, doing far better than Charlie could ever have dreamed. She rose fairly quickly through the ranks and became an executive after only a few years. She had changed her last name to Downey, to put some distance between her and her old identity, and was enjoying her career. She had implants and a bit of facial surgery and really didn’t look anything like she used to. She was lonely but accepted that as part of her lot in life.

One day at lunchtime she went to a popular but cheap cafeteria-style diner and had to wait in line. She was about to give up, but to her shock she recognized that the woman ahead of her in line was Connie. She knew she looked different, and decided to make small talk to see if Connie recognized her, and it was obvious Connie had no idea. But they kind of clicked, and liked each other. She observed Connie looked rather downtrodden, and offered to share her table when they finally got their food.

Once they were seated they shared first names. Claire said, “Connie, I can see you’re troubled. Why don’t you tell me about it? Maybe I can help, or maybe just talking about it will make you feel better.”

“Oh, Claire, I don’t see how. I got myself into this mess by being stupid. I got married about ten years ago. He seemed like a nice guy, but not long after the honeymoon he showed his true colors. He treated me lousy, wouldn’t let me get a job. ‘No wife of mine is going to work!’ Pah! And he wanted kids, but I never got pregnant. It was his fault, but I didn’t bother telling him; he would only have denied it.

“Eventually, after several years, I realized he was cheating on me. I was hurt, but since he was being such a gigantic jerk I didn’t feel that terrible about it. We argued all the time, and finally he hit me. Well, that was it, and I walked out. He was friends with his divorce lawyer and I got shafted big time and left with almost nothing. I just can’t believe I stuck with him for so long.”

Claire, who had her own opinions on the matter, kept them to herself.

“Now I live in a crappy apartment and work at a call center, making calls no one wants to receive.”

“Connie, is there no one else you can turn to for help? What about your family?”

“My parents both died just as I finished college. I have an older sister, but she and I don’t get along and she lives clear across the country.”

Claire hadn’t known any of that when they were together. It reinforced to her what sort of pathetic relationship they must have had. “I’m sorry to hear that. What about friends?”

“With my control-freak husband I really didn’t have any friends. Before I was married there was a guy I really liked. I’m sorry to say I treated him so poorly I’d be ashamed to contact him again, and in any case I have no idea where he is.”

Claire mulled things over in her mind. Should she tell Connie who she is, or just let it be? In the meantime, maybe she could help Connie out of this hole she was in.

“I may know of a job that would be a big improvement on a call-center job. If you’re interested I can look into it.”

“Why would you want to help me? We don’t even know each other.”

“I can see you are in a tough situation, and you seem like a nice person. If I can help, why shouldn’t I?”

“Well, then sure. Thank you. It can’t be any worse than the job I have now.”

Claire got Connie’s contact information and told her she’ll let her know. She gave Connie her business card.

As they parted Connie had no expectations that this would go anywhere, and, really, why would this kind stranger help her anyway?

-o0o-

Claire returned to her office and ultimately decided it would be better—and safer—to just remain a distant friend rather than reveal her identity. No sense in being burned twice. She followed through with the job opportunity, though, and Connie did get it. Her standard of living immediately went up a few notches, with her finding a much more acceptable apartment, a better diet and some clothes.

She was very grateful to Claire, and once established in the new job tried to keep in touch. Claire didn’t really want to get involved with her, but allowed her to treat her to lunch as a thank you. They had a nicer time than Claire expected, and Connie was much happier, reminding Claire of how she behaved when they first met long ago. And then once a month they began to meet for lunch. Claire was always encouraging and supportive, just as she was years ago. More than once Connie called her at the office for some advice, since she had been kept from so much reality-based everyday living during her marriage.

-o0o-

Six months on they were due for a lunch. They always met at the same place and time, so Connie was surprised when Claire didn’t show. This was definitely unlike her. She called Claire’s work number,

“Hello. I’m trying to reach Claire Downey.”

“I’m sorry, but she isn’t in the office now.”

“Yes, we were to meet for lunch, but she hasn’t showed up. I’m worried.”

“Well, all I can tell you is that Ms. Downey hasn’t been in for three days.”

“Is she alright?”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t say anything further.”

Connie didn’t know Claire’s address or personal phone number. Grasping at straws she made calls to the three hospitals in town, and found Claire was a patient in one of them. She went to pay a visit and found Claire was having a serious health crisis. The worst of it was over, but she was very weak. Connie told Claire she would come and take her home when she’s released, which is better than what Claire had planned—a taxi. Still, Claire tried to talk her out of it, to no avail.

When she was released two days later, Connie did come and take her home. She helped her inside and then into her bed. Claire was exhausted just from the ride home.

As Connie was bustling around, getting things that Claire would need, she noticed a necklace on the dresser that she recognized. It’s one she had given to her Claire ten years ago. She stopped to think, and it finally hit her that this has to be the same person. She stood there in shock. She couldn’t believe how nice Claire had been to her after how she had treated her, and felt very guilty. She turned to Claire, on the bed.

“Claire?” she said very softly.

“Yes, Connie?”

“I just found the necklace I gave you ten years ago on your dresser. I know who you are. How can I ever apologize enough for the way I treated you?”

Claire sighed to herself and said, “Don’t worry about it. Water under the bridge. I survived and I’m fine.”

“But aren’t you lonely?”

“I have plenty to do to keep myself busy,” she said.

But Connie wasn’t fooled.

“I’m going to stay here and take care of you until you’re well enough to be on your own,” she said.

Claire started to protest, but didn’t have any energy to waste arguing. So Connie did just that; she stayed and cared for Claire lovingly, and was very solicitous, trying to make up for her behavior years ago.

When Claire was just about well enough to be on her own, Connie came to her bed one night, and just slept with her, something no one had done since the early days. She held Claire from behind and didn’t see the silent tears that soaked her pillow.

-o0o-

In the morning Claire thanked Connie for staying with her in the night, but thought to herself that Connie really wanted a man. She didn’t want to say it like that, so she said,

“I’m sorry, Connie, but I’m really not looking for a relationship. And please don’t feel guilty about me. I never blamed you, and you gave me a great gift by helping reveal this part of me. You are still young and attractive enough to find love again. I strongly urge you to put yourself out there.”

Connie didn’t really want to. She still felt guilty, not the best basis for a relationship. But she did eventually allow herself to put herself on the market. And in a relatively short time (after dating a couple of losers) she did find a guy she liked, and he was even actually a nice guy! She became very invested in him and she and Claire drifted apart to their former status.

Claire was happy for her, and went back to her lonely life.

-o0o-

Connie hadn’t forgotten about Claire though. As the weeks passed she racked her brain for a person who would be good for Claire. Finally she remembered a woman she knew before her marriage, Linda, whom she thought would be perfect for Claire. She happened to remember that Linda confessed she liked feminine men. She contacted Linda and found she was still single. But she had to cleverly engineer a “natural” meeting between her and Claire. She decided it would be best if she herself introduced them. Claire was in the habit of dining out one night a week, on her own, and Connie took Linda to that restaurant and “happened” to run into Claire. She introduced them and they all ate together. It looked to Connie as if the two liked each other. But Connie also guessed that Claire would probably avoid a deeper relationship, being afraid of the consequences when Linda found out her true physical nature.

At their lunch a month later, Connie discovered that Claire and Linda had taken a shine to each other and gone out several times; they were already good friends.

“I like her company, Connie, but I’m afraid of how she might react if she found out I’m not one-hundred-percent female.”

Connie paused, as if thinking, and then said, “You know, I’ve known Linda for many years, and now that I think of it I’m pretty sure she once told me she’s really into feminine men. I don’t know for sure if she meant men living as women, but it might be worth it to tell her.”

“But what if it turns out she does NOT mean men living as women? If I leave things as they are, at least I’ll still have a friend.”

“Claire, you’re a wonderful, kind person—I know this better than most—and you deserve love in your life too. If she turns on you, you might not want to have been friends with someone like that anyway.”

-o0o-

Claire thought about it for a week, then gritted her teeth and decided that, okay, she would tell Linda. Hmm. If she does it in public and there’s a scene, that would be bad. If she did it in her own home she’s pretty sure Linda isn’t going to try and beat her up, like a man might. Still… What if it’s at Linda’s place? Hmm. Then she can just get up and leave if things go wrong. Okay, that sounds like the best alternative.

In the next few weeks Linda invited her over for a meal. Afterwards they sat in the living room and she said, “Linda, I have something very important to tell you, and… this is very hard for me.” She pauses. “I really like you, but when I tell you this, you may hate me.”

Linda tensed up, didn’t know what to make of this, but said, “Well, okay. You obviously need to tell me, so, I’m listening.”

“I am physically male.”

There was silence.

“Really?” said Linda, in a happy way that caused Claire to look up at her. She nodded.

“Yes, I am. I’ve been living as a woman for more than ten years.”

Linda thought that was GREAT! She launched herself at Claire and hugged her and gave her a huge kiss, shocking Claire.

“I’ve been feeling very attracted to you, though I’m not attracted to women. This explains a lot! I’m so happy!”

Claire could hardly believe this turn of events. She had been alone for so long. She broke down crying in Linda’s arms.

The next day she sent a single word text to Connie: THANKS!

The End.

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I could sit on this and keep editing it daily until the cows come home, but as I have no cows it could quite some time before it got posted.