Chapter Four: Girl Practice

My friends are the luckiest people in the world. Why? Because their good friend Jamie is willing to do all the heavy lifting, apparently.

I can’t believe I agreed to their dumb request. Pretend to be a girl? What the heck do I know about being a girl? As far as I can tell, in each of my 14 years on this Earth I’ve been a genuine, 100% BOY.

Thankfully, Chris promised it’d only be three events. And it better be. Three times I’d pretend to be a girl, hang out with Scotty, and then my ‘cousin’ gets to leave forever. Chris, Annie, and myself will be rewarded with a fun, interesting group of friends heading into high school. And maybe it’ll end up being super easy.

However, I spent much of the weekend not worrying about any of that. My true passion was drawing and illustrating. Did I want to be a book illustrator, a graphic designer, or a painter? I wasn’t sure yet. But much of this summer – outside of spending time making friends – I plan to draw freely, create characters and designs, and hopefully gain a little direction on where my art interests lie.

My favorite thing to draw was young, male protagonists. Much like myself. I was always enamored with the recluse teen that everyone doubted could save the day. I’d create these stories in my head where a seemingly unpopular, uninteresting young boy defies expectations and saves the day. They go from weak to strong, feeble to powerful. That sort of stuff. Hey, who knows – maybe I can channel some of that energy into my task.

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At the onset of summer break, everyone rejoices in their newfound freedom. No school, little to no responsibility. But tale as old as time, about a week in, we all get bored. So I reached out to Chris about knocking off my first assignment. We decided to hang out that afternoon. And in the middle of a Madden game, Chris finally dropped some ‘good’ news.

“So listen, Juan told me one of the Toned guys is hosting a party tonight,” he said, mid-Cheetoh munch.

“Wait, seriously? That’s perfect! Can we get an invite?”

“Probably. I’ll check with Juan.” Chris reached for his phone. “Let’s hit up Annie too. She’ll wanna come.”

So while we waited for a response from Juan, Chris called Annie and invited her over. However, she seemed angry and stressed about it over her phone. Very unlike her. She insisted we come over to her house immediately.

When we arrived at Annie’s, she was shaking her head with utter disappointment.

Chris kicked off his shoes in the mud room. “Annie, what’s the deal? Why are you so pissed off?”

She didn’t reply. Just gestured to us to follow to her room. Once we sat down and she locked her door, she finally spoke.

“What do you think you guys are doing? Are you trying to get Jamie blackballed forever?”

Chris and I looked at each other, perplexed.

“You don’t see the problem here?” she reiterated.

I had to get a straight answer out of her. “No, Annie. We don’t. Would you care to tell us?”

“You want to go to a Toned party. Tonight.”

We nodded.

“Well thank god I’m here to stop you. Because if you go to this party without prep work, the whole operation will implode,” Annie was in full ridicule mode. “Tell me, what exactly was your plan?”

I shrugged and looked at Chris. “I dunno, I was gonna, like, borrow one of my Mom’s dresses and give it to Jamie? That should work.”

“My god, you guys are so dumb. You can’t just throw on a dress and call yourself a girl! There’s a nuance to it. An art. Does Jamie have long hair and feminine features? Yes he does. But do you think the moment he starts walking and talking that anybody will buy he’s a real girl?”

I guess we hadn’t thought that far. She totally had a point.

“That’s what I thought,” Annie replied proudly. “That’s why you’re gonna decline the party invite today so we can practice.”

“Woah, practice?” I quickly jumped in. “That sounds a lot to me like extra sessions. In other words… more than THREE.”

She nodded, unfazed. “Of course. If an actor agrees to do a show, do they not also agree to rehearsals?”

“I mean… I guess.”

“Perfect. Then today we’ll practice. Chris, you can stick around or not, but I’m mostly going to be paying attention to Juliette.”

“Excuse me, Juliette?” I asked.

Annie smiled. “Mhmm. I decided just now. You’re officially Juliette. Okay sweetie?”

Chris started to chuckle, but I shot him a mean glare. He stopped.

“While clothes aren’t everything, it’s important for a girl to be dressed as such. It’ll best get you in the proper mindset,” Annie said, digging through her closet. She pulled something out. “Here, try these on.”

She tossed me a pink pleated skirt and a white tank top.

I groaned. “Ugh. Pink. Seriously?”

Annie laughed. “Really? I’m handing you a skirt and your issue is that it’s pink? You know what, just for that, I’m gonna make you wear these too.”

Annie reached into a bin in her closet and threw a pair of white panties at me as well.

“No no no! I’m not wearing your underwear.” I protested.

Chris was starting to look uncomfortable. “Maybe I should leave…”

Annie was starting to lose it. “AGH! You guys are ridiculous! Do you want this to work or not? Tell me. RIGHT now.”

Chris and I were silent. Annie was dead serious.

“Juan is graciously giving us this opportunity to start high school on the right foot,” she began. “We’ll get a great group of friends. Cool friends. All we have to do is get Scotty Allen to believe Jamie is a girl. And despite this gift, you guys are making every step of the way as frustrating as possible!”

Annie turned back to me. “Jamie, who knows the most about being a girl in the room?”

“You do.”

“Exactly. So are you gonna do as I say, or are you gonna let us sulk back to the bottom of popularity…Juliette?”

Annie was right. I knew it, and so did Chris. We had to be all in if this was going to work.

Without saying a word, I respectfully picked up the skirt, top, and panties, and took them into the bathroom to change.

I took my pants off and stared at myself in the full-length mirror – naked and fearful of what was to come. But I denied every naturally male instinct of mine and slid on the panties. They fit snug around my package and were, well… actually comfortable.

The skirt was a little less so, and took me a few minutes to figure out how to position it properly with the tank top tucked underneath.

I re-emerged from the bathroom to an approving nod from Chris and Annie.

“You look adorable, Juliette.” Annie said confidently. “Now we can get to work.”

Over the next several hours, Annie gave me a complete crash course on girlhood. Much of it was aesthetic, but so much more was about demeanor, character, and attitude.

Girls move differently than guys. That’s a fact I believed, but never quite understood. Annie had me try on all different kinds of her shoes and did a full lap around the house wearing each of them. She showed me how my steps should be shorter, my upper-body posture tighter, and my hips more fluid. Thankfully her parents were out of the house for the day, otherwise they’d have seen me prancing through the halls every 20 minutes with a new outfit and shoes.

And I tried on ALL sorts of outfits. Over the roughly six hours of ‘training’ I wore androgynous items like sweaters, hoodies, shorts, and pants, as well as significantly more feminine items like dresses, stockings, nighties, and bras and panties. We’d practically cycled through her entire wardrobe.

Though skeptical at first, I found that my demeanor changed drastically based on the outfit I was wearing. With Annie’s blue tracksuit on, I felt powerful and agile. When I wore her pantsuit, I felt like a total ‘boss bitch’ (as Chris put it), ready to take down the patriarchy.

Alternatively, when Annie had me wear her soft pink panties and flowy pink nightie, I’d never felt so dainty. Just lying back on her cushy bed, stroking the satiny duvet cover with my bare, hairless legs felt like a dream.

“A woman is many things,” Annie reiterated. “Clothes aren’t all of it, but so much of a woman’s being can come from what she’s wearing. I hope that you learned that today, Juliette.”

I nodded and thanked Annie with a hug. Chris stayed surprisingly active during this whole process, chiming in with his opinions, both critical and complimentary.

It was getting late so I decided to change back into my boy clothes and head home for the night. Chris told us that Juan was confused why we weren’t coming tonight, but understood that some ‘girl practice’ might be necessary.

“What’re you guys doing tomorrow?” Annie asked us as we put our shoes on. “Because I’ve got some ideas for Lesson #2.”

“Wait, there’s a–” I began to say, but quickly cut off my protest. I promised Annie that I’d trust her with the girl prep. I was but her humble servant.

“I’m free if you are,” I replied instead.

Great. Then be at my place tomorrow at 10 AM.

Ten o’clock in the morning felt especially early in the morning for another practice session, but it’s not like I had anything else going on. Chris said he couldn’t make it, but Annie said his presence wouldn’t be necessary.

“Lastly,” she said. “I want you sleeping in these.” Annie had handed me one of the pairs of panties I’d worn earlier in the day. The pink satin ones I’d worn with her nightie.

“Are… are you sure?” I asked. “You know I’m not being Juliette full time.”

“I know, Jamie. But think of it as ‘passive training’. We only have a short time to get in as much girl practice as we can. Just try it.”

I reluctantly took her panties, but agreed nonetheless.

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My parents were home when I returned, but were fully occupied watching some violent drama series in the living room, sipping their new bottle of whiskey. I decided not to bother them.

I still had a little of the night left to myself, so I opened back up my sketchbook. Flipping through the pages I saw a soldier, a giant robot, a sword-wielding teenage boy – each in a different art style. I also had a half-finished cyborg teenage boy that I’d been trying out.

But tonight I didn’t feel like finishing that one. Instead, I flipped to a blank page. I began with a sketch of an androgynous face and body shape. It’s usually at this point that I then add a suit of armor, a fierce weapon, or a mighty animal sidekick.

…but not this time. I graced my new character not with a masculine crew cut, but rather a long, elegant hairstyle. And I didn’t have the character attack an enemy. I had them lying on a bed, wearing a soft, feminine nightie. Was it a boy? Was it a girl? Perhaps something in between.

It wasn’t too in-depth of a sketch, and I only spent about 20 minutes on it. But it was a creative expression that grew organically from my day’s experiences.

Maybe that brief but genuine creative expression of femininity will benefit me in tomorrow’s lesson...