Mommy, mommy, mommy, Ch. 6

On the ride back to my condo Pete pointed out some points of interest along the way. I could tell he loved his town. He walked me to my door and told him how much I enjoyed the evening.

He was just about to leave when I leaned over and kissed him on the lips. His seemingly permanent 3-day old stubble, although it looked like he had shaved, tickled my lips, a new experience for me. My kiss surprised, and pleased, him.

He said nervously, "Carli, you are such a pleasure to be around and I sure wouldn't mind seeing you some more, maybe we can do this again sometime."

I smiled and said, I'd love to, soon!" He agreed and walked away all smiles. I watched him as he looked back at me and I blew him a kiss which he pretended to catch and then held his hand against his heart as he blew me a kiss. I'd seen that move in movies and thought it was so corny but this was anything but...

I spent a few hours unpacking and putting things away. There were things I need to buy, like more than one set of sheets, some nice, fluffy towels, and certainly more than one plate, bowl and spork. Now that I had a car and some disposable income I could actually buy nicer things and decorate my new home with nice curtains, throw rugs and decor on the wall.

I made my bed, removed my makeup, took a nice, hot shower which was a treat since my last place didn't have much water pressure or hot water. It pleased me to see that my face without makeup still looked quite female. I made a mental note that I didn't have to wear as much as I thought.

I crawled into bed and thought about my evening with Pete. He was so different than Devin. I don't know why that would surprise me, we are all different. Pete was just down-to-earth. He probably didn't go to college but had common sense and an aura of kindness.

Devin, on the other hand, was very self-assured and driven, not that there was anything wrong with that. It was still difficult to realize that he used to be a female. I found I still thought about him even though we weren't compatible and there was that hint of betrayal.

Still I marveled that my virtually sudden attraction to men was so strong. I fell asleep thinking of belonging to a man, not just sexually but more as a partner in life who wanted to start a family and have us all grow together. At first I thought that might be Devin but now I was thinking Pete was the man for me.

I had become very adjusted to living my female life but I knew I
couldn't keep a secret of my past to someone like Pete.

I met up with Pete a few more times informally. I had a bookcase delivered but it needed assembly. I didn't have any tools so I asked Pete if he could help me assemble and move it. Oddly I used to be perfectly capable about doing manly things like assembling a bookcase but it seemed like that knowledge is being replaced with matters-in-hand, namely becoming a woman, a pregnant woman, at that. I fixed him lunch and we just made small-talk but he had other people he needed to help as well so he couldn't stay. We also just bumped into each other at a coffee shop but we were both on our ways somewhere so we didn't
really didn't have time to talk.

A few days later I happened to meet a guy I at my pool. I had enough just bought a one-piece swimsuit and was eager to try it on to see how it felt while swimming in the pool.

I did a couple laps but I stopped and treaded water while trying to adjust a strap when I heard this guy say, "Need some help with that?"

I jumped a bit, I thought I was alone.

He smiled and extended a hand. "I'm Bill, 310."

It took me a sec to realize he was in room 310.

I shook his hand and said, "Nice to meet you, I'm Carli, 202."

"You have a nice backstroke, you must swim a lot."

"Um, yes, I do. I just got this suit and I'm trying it out. It's a little tight around my shoulders though."

Bill 310 asked, "Mind if I swim a few laps with you?"

I thought that was odd but said, "Ok, sure."

He dived in and we paced each other back and forth about 6 laps, then asked if I wanted to race. I watched his style earlier and knew I would have easily beat him in my old, competitive male days.

He said "Go" and he took an early lead and I almost caught him at the end but I thought better of it and purposely slowed down.

"You're pretty fast," he said. "Most girls can't keep up."

"Well, duh!" I thought, if he only knew! He wasn't the one swimming with a 3 month belly hanging down. I was done swimming so I told him I was going to get out. I climbed out and while I was toweling off it was now apparent to him that I had a big belly and he was trying to race a pregnant woman.

"If you're not busy or..." He paused.

I said, "Or what?"

"Or unattached, if you aren't unattached maybe I can buy you a cup of coffee. I know a place." It seems like every guy I meet knows a place.

"Um, sure, let me shower and get dressed and I'll meet you on the lobby in an hour."

While I rinsed the chlorine off in my shower and tried to make myself presentable. Remembering my earlier discovery that I could wear less makeup I just applied a bit of blush, some mascara and lip gloss. I wondered what he thought of my big belly or noticed I wore no ring. "Whatever," I thought, he was kinda cute in a surfer boy kind of way.

I put on a loose, drop-sleeve blouse, a loose denim skirt and sandals. He was waiting for me and I noticed his beefy shoulders and upper body, definitely a swimmer. "Do you mind walking a few blocks?"

"No, no problem. I like the fresh air." We made small talk and he led me into this older bit building that looked like it had been refurbished. Down a long, dim hallway I was beginning to get nervous.
Am I going to get killed by a serial killer, I thought to myself, but then the hallway opened into this open-air courtyard which was now an espresso cafe. It was lovely and I told him, "Oh, this is nice, I never would have guessed." We ordered and we sat in a quiet corner.

"So, you’re pregnant!" he said.

"Yes, it is kind of obvious, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess you already knew," he laughed.

I didn't want to make him ask the obvious so I just said, "The dad couldn't handle it so I'm having it by myself. It's OK, though, it’s better this way," I said without elaborating.

We made more small talk and as we headed out he said, "Wanna come up?"

I didn't know quite how to respond. I just kinda looked at him and quietly nodded. In afterthought I guess I just felt like I needed someone to be close with.

Nothing romantic about it. He opened the door to 310, I tore off my clothes as he did the same. He climbed on me but not before putting on a condom. I told him to be gentle since I had this baby in me but then he literally pounded into me until he came, then he got up, said "Thanks" and that was it. "Wham bam, thank you, ma'am!" was more like it, I thought. I got dressed and left, disappointed. This was my first occasion to not reach a climax. At least this time I was glad I remembered to have a condom between me and an STD. I certainly didn’t want to infect my baby. I went to my room and douched myself just in case and then pleasured myself off to relieve the tension. Showered
again I went back outside. Bill 310 was nowhere to be found.

Earlier, when Bill 310 was leading me to the coffee bar we passed a boutique that had some very cute dresses in the window. I went back there and tried a few on. I found 2 dresses that I simply had to have although they cost a bit more than my usual re-sale store purchases. I could afford them now thanks to my 'bonus' check. Also bought a lovely scarf and a pair of hoop earrings that I liked but I wanted to see how they looked on me. The clerk quickly obliged by holding up a mirror for me. I loved them! We talked a bit about babies. She had 2 kids, a 3 year old boy and a 6 month year old baby girl. She talked
about having to work too many hours just to provide day care even though her husband had a decent job. I hoped I could avoid that trap.

She pointed out some cute maternity wear and I realized that most of my skirts and dresses weren't going to fit me for awhile. I tried on a few and ended up buying 2 nice, colorful dresses that I hoped would fit during my third trimester.

I spoke to the salesgirl like I've been talking dresses, makeup and babies to other females all my life. That made me feel so complete!

On my way home I marveled about how effortlessly It seemed to be for me to transition into this female soul, thanks to Dr.Z and Josie.

It seemed I got tired faster since I became pregnant and carried the added weight of my baby. I laid on my bed and I got another text from Devin which I ignored. Josie also tried calling again but I wasn’t ready to talk to her again, if ever. I was just dosing off when I got another call, this time from Pete. This one I answered.

"Hi beautiful! he said. "Busy?" How I loved hearing him say I was beautiful!

"No, just resting. What's up, handsome?"

"I was just in the neighborhood and wondered if you needed anything"

"Oh, that is so kind of you but I can't think of anything right now. Hey, if you want to come up I can make you a sandwich."

"Well that is mighty kind of you. I don't mind if I do."

Once again I tried to make myself look decent. I just finished
blotting my lipgloss and he buzzed. "It's open! C'mon in." I forgot about shoes and took one quick look in the mirror when he entered. "Hi Pete, good to see you again." I went to him and we hugged.

"Well thank you, that's nice of you. Might I say that you look as lovely as ever and it seems your belly is twice as big as the last time I saw you."

"Thanks for noticing, it feels like it is at least four times as heavy though," and we both laughed.

"Your place looks nice."

"Well thanks to you. If it wasn't for your help I'd still be making trips from my old place."

"Sit down anywhere," as I pointed to the only chair. "I've been
meaning to get more furniture. What can I fix you, you like grilled cheese?" He sat on a box of books instead, of course, so I could have the chair. "What a kind thing to do," I thought.

"I sure do, that would be great."

"Anything to drink?" As I looked in the fridge, "I have OJ and, um, coffee creamer. Sorry but I meant to stock up on stuff."

"A glass of water would be fine."

"Ice? No, wait, no ice yet," I said sheepishly. "I'm working on it but I misplaced the recipe. I guess I'm not much of a homemaker."

He chuckled at my poor homemaking skills and said "Don't be silly, it takes time. Just a warm glass of water is fine."

I handed him my one glass and went to make his sandwich. At least I had cheese and bread. "Oh, I just have some mustard, no mayo. Next time I'll check my inventory before I invite anyone up."

"Mustard is fine." I put his sandwich together and fired up my stove.

"So what brings you to my neighborhood?"

"There is this sweet old lady that called me because her TV was on the fritz. I'm not a TV repairman but I just went to look and her cable connection got loose. I just tightened 'er up and it worked fine. She's happy."

"How much do you charge for a house call like that?"

"Oh, someone like her I don't bother charging anything, I'm just happy to do it." What an angel this man is, I thought. "Good sandwich, Carli," he lied as I sat on my only chair.

Between bites he said, "Oh, hey, I almost forgot."

"What's that?" I asked.

"You like music, you know like jazz and blues?"

"Sure. Why?"

"Well if you are free this weekend there is a live music festival on this Saturday if you'd like to join me, I go just about every year."

"Well that sounds like fun, sure, I'd like that."

He seemed real pleased at my response. "Great, I can pick you up around 10, the music starts at noon and runs through the evening."

"Ok, maybe I'll make us a picnic lunch to take, I hope you like
grilled cheese and water," I kidded, "it's my specialty."

He laughed and then said, "Perfect, that's my favorite! Nobody makes those like you!" And we had a good laugh.

It was so nice to laugh again. I realized that neither of the other men I was with were like that, they were both serious and mostly concerned with themselves.

After Pete left I wondered why he hasn't tried to make a move on me. I guess maybe he is just a gentleman...or already has a someone or gay...or it's just never come up. I thought I'd ask him. I mean I know he has his pets but does he have a wife or ex-wife or girlfriend or boyfriend? I know he likes me, it shows, but maybe he's just taking his time. I like that idea. I've been way too eager and it might be good for me to slow down. Being female has turned everything upside down and inside out but I need to remember that I am a woman for the rest of my life.

I know he likes kids, he told me about his niece and nephew and how much he enjoyed being around them. Maybe the fact that I am pregnant is attractive to him, somehow. I thought I would be stuck as a single mother but, if he is amenable, and wanted to live with me or even marry me then my baby would have a daddy. That would be so good for so many reasons. He really is a very nice man, just not as assertive or self-absorbed as the others have been. That is a good thing!

Certainly I hadn't thought of being a bride. I guess if I had a
husband that would make me the bride, a wife. Being married and being a bride are really different concepts. One is a permanent
arrangement, with all that it brings. The other is preparing,
becoming and belonging to someone. Not property but a one-time
occasion that lasts forever, hopefully. I want to give myself to the right man, a man who will love me for who I am, not who I was.

Pete buzzed me at 10 sharp. Again, he looked so nice. He dressed casual and comfy. I sort of did the same, comfy, loose dress which hid my belly a bit, a blouse with a scoop neck and puffy sleeves, hair casually up and sandals. I also took a sun hat I found at a resale store and wondered at the time why I bought it. If it got sunny it would come in handy. We took his fancy car again.

The venue was real nice, on a lake, with four or 5 stages so it was pretty easy to find something you liked. He seemed to know about a lot of the artists. I wouldn't be surprised if he knew some of them personally and he probably plays an instrument of two as well. It was a very pleasant day and it was nice to just relax and listen of music with good company. I drifted off occasionally, lulled by the rhythms. I laid my head across Pete's lap and he patted my arm. I reached up for his clever, manly hand and he didn't pull away. When the set ended he had to help me get up. I am really starting to notice the
presence in my belly. My center of balance was not what I was used to. We leisurely strolled around the venue, he bought a couple CD’s and bought me a lemonade. He shared a sip from my straw, another small but special moment for me and, I think, him. We seemed to be growing comfortable with each other. We stayed until dark, stopping at a food vendor to get some tacos and then headed back. We got to my house and I asked him if he would like to come up. He said that would be nice. We held hands in the elevator and we didn't say much. I think we both knew what was ahead.

He asked for my key and opened the door for me. Once inside I kicked off my sandals and turned to him. I looked up and he had such a pleased look on his face. We moved closer, I lifted my self up on my toes as I looked at him and then felt our lips meet. It felt so right, so welcoming.

He said, "Carli, I have been dreaming about this since the first time I saw you. I dreamt that your kisses were soft as pillows and sweet as honey and you know what? I was so wrong!"

I held my breath, thinking the worst.

"You are all that and so much more and I..."

I put my fingers to his lips and said, "Oh, please don't say it! Not yet! I have to tell you something. Something very important and I am ashamed I haven't said it before and I certainly should have told you before but..."

"No buts, Carli, just tell me. I don't believe there is anything you can say that will upset me."

Swallowing hard I took a deep breath and said, "Pete, you are the most wonderful man I have ever met and you are becoming the love of my life and maybe you think you love me but...but... the woman you see, she hasn’t always been female."

His eyes grew big with a serious look on his face and then said, “I don’t care if you used to be a Martian, I think I know who you are, what kind of gentle, loving and gorgeous woman you are and I do love you, unconditionally!"

Fearing the worst, but hoping Pete’s spirit was genuine, I was almost stunned at his reaction. He was even more perfect, if there is such a thing, than I could imagine.

I went to him and I fell deeply into his arms and, you guessed it, started crying. "Oh my gosh, Pete, you have made me the happiest girl in the world, I love you so much!"

I stopped crying long enough to explain my past and why I decided to become female.

"Well, now that you told me this I think I love you even more! What you have decided to do with your life is remarkable. You are willing to become someone who is going to help save the world, what can be more impressive than that!"

I kissed him with all the love I could generate.

With that accomplished I sat him down and told him all the details about my life as a male, the decision to sign up for
Dr.Z’s program, the process it took me on, the incident with Duane and the resulting vengeful incident, my first sex as a girl, the getting pregnant and, well, he knew the rest. He just sat and listened until we got to the part where Duane got his retribution and Pete could not stop laughing.

"That was brilliant! I wish I could have been there! Clam Queen! Oh my god!" I must admit it was quite a scene.

When I got to the topic of Devin things got more serious. Pete
couldn’t believe that someone would make a girl pregnant and then tell her he hates kids. "That’s so improper and cruel! Please don’t point him out to me at any time."

I told him to let it drop, it didn’t matter anymore. "He hasn’t
ruined my life, my life is better than it has ever been. The baby is his loss, not mine."

"That’s a good way to think of it. This is why I was so attracted to you from the beginning, you’re not like other women, oops, I didn’t mean anything by that. As far as I am concerned you are an ideal feminine creation. I mean that."

It was then and there I knew I wanted to be with this man forever.

I went to him and wrapped my arms around his neck and held him close. He lifted me and carried me to my bed where he laid me down gently

My breathing was short as he began slowly undressed me. I watched his nimble fingers as he undid my buttons and bared my body. He expertly undid my bra and slid it off of me as his lips went to my nipples. This excited me like never before as he kissed and nibble one one while he tenderly grasped my other breast and stroked it expertly.

As rough and strong as his hands were they were so gentle on my body as he explored me, causing my body to react like it had never before. I wanted to feel his touch everywhere as his fingers tenderly stroked my folds and massaged my clit. I began to feel my body tremble as energy waves flowed through my body. I moaned in pleasure as he gently but precisely brought me to the edge of an orgasm.

I felt like my body was no longer mine but, instead, a musical
instrument of just pure energy and bliss that Pete played like a
maestro. He gently ran his rough fingers over my ever-growing belly; I was breathing so hard and deep I thought I was going to pass out. He sensed my feeling and brought his lips to mine. Our mouths were desperate for each others. Our tongues danced. I felt his hardness against my leg. Reaching down while I spread my legs I guided him into my me.

"Is this OK?" he asked. "I mean with the baby and all."

"Yes, it’s not a problem," as I continued guiding him, "but thank you for asking!"

"Do we need protection? he thoughtfully asked.

"Do you have any STD’s?"

"Uh, no."

"Well you aren’t going to make me more pregnant than I already am, are you!" I said as I felt the tip of him enter me. Oh, what a feeling! He slowly slid it in, filling me gradually until he was completely inside me. His movements were like nothing I have ever felt as he was reaching places inside me I didn’t know I had. I raised my legs up and crossed my ankles around his waist while he proceeded to get even deeper in me. I was his, he was mine, we were one. He began to stroke into me, slowly, purposely, probing inside my essence. When I began to quiver he drove me deeper into a pleasure I had not known possible. When he began to moan I waited for him to tense up and I felt him
throbbing, filling me inside with his precious seed. Each pulse felt like my entire vagina was being coated. When he finally finished I was totally limp. All I could do is lay there and feel a glow emanating from my body. Passion and pleasure, a man and a woman. The love of life, the life of love!

"My goodness, Pete, you are a wonderful lover. A truly amazing man. Thank you for showing me how making love truly feels."

He answered, "One as lovely as you deserves the best from a man. I hope I was able to fulfill your needs.”
I had never felt passion like this so I told him, "Did you ever! I have never felt this satisfied before, ever!"

"By the way, Carli, you are just beautiful! I haven’t told you that before but WOW and I mean that. The first time I saw you, you were in your grubbies, preparing to move and I thought even then you were extremely attractive with such feminine beauty. "

"You are so kind to say that," I gushed. "I think you are very
handsome, as well. Not only that but so smart, talented and kind."

We kissed some more and then he said, "Don’t hate me for saying this, but...."

"But what," I thought, thinking.

"Um, well, Carli, I hope I’m not out of line but you captivate me. Your beauty, charm and humor combine into this marvelous creature that I see before me. I’ve known other women in my life who I thought were special, I was even married to one once, but none of them could ever compare with you. I guess what I"m trying to say is I think I’m in love with you."

I was going to say something but he held up his finger, indicating he wanted to say more. "I don’t expect you to feel the same about me. I’m so thankful that I had the opportunity to meet you and I would be a happy man if we were just good friends."

Now it was my turn but I couldn’t say anything. Tears of joy rolled down my cheeks again. Finally I said, "Pete, you are the nicest, warmest, kindest person I have ever known and I would be a fool to not want to be with a man like you. I love you, too. I have been feeling it inside for quite awhile but didn’t know how you felt about me. I had never been in love before and wasn’t sure how I would know, but now I do. I love you, love you, love you!"

With a huge smile he said, "Now that we both know we love each other, how about we prove it again?"

I pushed him on his back and laid on top of him, kissing him madly. I placed my hands on his chest and ran my fingers through his chest hair as I poised myself on top of his hardening manhood and rubbed the tip against my labias. I rubbed my clitoris against his shaft. His length grew deeply inside me, his hands gently kneaded my breasts, his nimble fingers twisted and gently pinched my nipples which sent shivers of joy down my body. I rubbed my crotch against his and then felt him enter me, his deepness probing every pink inch. Waves of combined
energy surged through us in orgiastic pleasure. He tensed up and our moans became the finale in our lovers’ symphony. I flopped down on his body, my vagina totally filled, my body totally satisfied, my heart and mind totally in love!

Recovering from our incredible adventure I rolled on my side and
snuggled up to him as I ran my fingers through his chest hair. No need for words, we just looked at each other, sharing our faces, exploring our bodies. It seems so silly now that I was so hesitant about being able to be so intimate with a man.

Finally I said, "Um, Pete, I must say you certainly can make a girl happy, no, not happy but exuberant. I never dreamed making love could feel this good!"

I invited him to join me in the shower and he was very pleased I
asked. I adjusted the water and stepped in and he got behind me. I was surprised but also very pleased as I felt him slide his hardness between my legs. I bent over slightly and looked down and saw it poking out between my legs. I thought, that looked vaguely familiar, although his was so much bigger than mine ever was. I can’t tell you how glad I was that I had a vagina.

He slid it back and forth between my legs as I pressed his shaft up against my folds with my fingers, occasionally bumping into my clitoris which made me squeal a bit each time. He ran his hands up my body until he rested them on my ever-growing pregnant belly.

I leaned back against him and he said, "What a beautiful mother you will make. I hope I will be there when it’s born."

He noticed I was beginning to cry so he held me close and asked me why. I was so relieved by Pete’s response to my revelation that it felt like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders and I said, “Oh Pete, I was hoping you would feel that way! To have you be with me while I have my baby would be wonderful!

He said, "It was certainly a surprise when you told me of your former life but it doesn’t change, in any way, how I feel about you. I love you and that is all that matters and I want you to feel the same. We love each other, case closed!"

I thought, this man who doesn’t seem to mind I was carrying another man’s baby was too good to be true. I told him, "I’m so glad we found each other and the fact that I am carrying another man’s baby doesn’t phase you is a blessing I was hoping for!"

I asked him if he’d like to spend the night.

"Oh, Sweetheart, I’d love to but I need to tend to my family, but I wish I could. It would be nice to wake up in the morning next to you."

It was so cute of him to call his pets his family. A man with a
loving, conscientious heart. "I understand totally." I held him close and we kissed some more. "Maybe I can meet your family someday?"

He smiled and said, "Sure, anytime. I’m sure they would all fall in love with you just like I did!"

As he was leaving he said, "This is a day I will never forget, thank you for sharing yourself with me."

I responded in kind, "I feel the same but I know this is really just the beginning for us!"

At 4 months my belly was very noticeable. I just started wearing smock-type dresses since something loose felt the most comfortable. Since I had time to myself I was able to make my place look like a real person was living here now, not some transient. The phone rang and it was Josie. I had still been avoiding her and hesitated butthis time I decided picked up.

"Hi Josie."

"Carli, hi! Thank you for answering. I hope everything is all
right."

"Yes, I’m fine."

"We need to talk," she said.

"Yes, we do! How are you and the baby?"

"Sam is 4 months old now and is doing fine, gaining weight and the OB says he is healthy. How about you?"

"I’m so glad your son is doing so well and it sounds like you are enjoying motherhood. I definitely have my baby bump, we’re 4 months and am scheduled for a checkup next week. I moved, as you probably now, into the city."

She started sniffling a bit and said, "Yes, I know. I miss you!"

I realized I missed her too.

"Can we meet sometime, I’d like to catch up with you?" she asked.

"Um, sure. I’m kinda avoiding the campus area, can you come here?"

"Oh course, can I bring Sam?"

"Please do, I’d love to meet him."

We decided on three days from now. In the meantime I was going to prepare a special, romantic dinner for Pete. I had called him earlier in the day and asked him come over the next night. I thought of what transpired after Josie and Dr. Z told me what they done without informing me. At the time I was very angry that they kept those details about Devin a secret from me. It has been a couple months now and my life has changed so much it doesn’t seem like such a big deal anymore. Besides, I was anxious to see Josie and her son.

Actually I thought I might be able to get some cooking tips and
recipes from Josie. I knew that if I was going to be a proper wife and mother I needed to know how to feed my family. On the internet I found some pretty easy and yummy-sounding recipes so I practiced making a baked chicken recipe as well as trying to make mashed potatoes, steamed broccoli and a green salad. Apparently first time’s a charm. I did what they said and it came out yummy. It was just practice on a small portion but I felt confident in serving the same thing to Pete tomorrow.

Pete arrived on time, as usual. Once again he looked very nice and comfortably dressed. I wore a white, flirty flouncy skirt with a colorful off-shoulder blouse, flat sandals and hair in a high ponytail. I just wore a minimum of makeup. Those big hoop earrings and a thin gold chain finished my look. When he saw me he said, “You look like what spring smells like!

He says such sweet things to me and I know he means every word. How can I not love this man! After a little smooching on the couch I set the table and, of course, he helped. He was excited to know that I prepared dinner for us instead of going out. I also told him that tonight’s menu was Deluxe Grilled Cheese Sandwiches and a carafe of water, with ice cubes, shaken not stirred. He laughed hard at that and picked me up as he spun us around as he kissed me.

"My favorite? Just for me? What an honor!" he kidded.

Definitely in love with him!

Dinner turned out to be a great success. We sat side by side outside on the deck, holding hands while the sun set. He turned to me, looking intently and said, "Miss Carli Jane Thomas? I just wanted to tell you how much I love you."

"Well, Mr. Peter Ames Rogers, I love you too!

We looked into each others eyes and knew what the other was thinking. We both stood up and wordlessly headed for my bedroom, Pete held my hand and I followed.

Our lovemaking that night was extraordinary although I was on my side most of the time. My belly was too hard to ignore now. It was fun, a new position, a new orgasm. I love it when he makes love to me!

A few days later Josie buzzed and I went out to meet her; I asked if she needed any help. She seemed loaded down with not just her baby but a diaper bag and purse. She had Sam in a sling kind of thing that went around one shoulder and held the baby firmly, and comfortably, against her body. I thought I should probably get one too.

We smiled at each other and went to hug each other. Josie smoothly moved the sling around so we wouldn’t squeeze the baby so we could hug, although my protruding belly was obvious. We told each other how much we missed the other but the talk never got around to why I disappeared for awhile.

Then I said, "I must see your baby!

Josie effortlessly moved the sling back around and motioned me to position my arms like hers.

"Maybe I should sit down first?"

"Sure, whatever you think, mom! She called me "mom!" No one has said that yet but I loved how it sounded.

She placed her son in my arms and it was instant love! I was almost overcome with excitement as I looked at his cute, chubby face and the way he wiggled around. He was so warm and fresh and felt so right in my arms. I cried a bit, of course, but only out of total happiness. I loved the noises he made, his baby smell, this little human creature, full of pure and total love and, at this stage, totally helpless.

Josie said, "You look like a natural."

"Oh, look at him, he’s perfect! Hi, Sam, I’m your Auntie Carli! In a few months I will have a playmate for you. Oh, Josie, I can hardly wait until I have mine!"

Josie said, "You are getting there, of course, but your 3rd trimester is the real challenge. Everything you do will be such a chore. Your feet will swell, you can’t bend over, your belly will be bumping into everything and you will have to pee every 15 minutes. If your lucky, like me, you will have Braxton Hicks pains for a preview of what’s to come. Of course it was different for me delivering a premie. I was so worried after that happened but my little guy got strong and healthy pretty quickly. Now he’s my perfect little man!"

I wanted to know about the labor pains and she said It was all so sudden with her.

"It just hit me so fast and the next thing I knew I was in the
delivery room and because he was so tiny he slipped right out of me pretty quickly and the pain was tolerable."

I asked, "Do you think you will have another?"

She was quick to answer, "Yes, for sure! Michael and I talked about it
and he said he’d like a big family, like 4 or more kids. I told him that first we’ll have another and then go from there and he agreed."

"Men! If they only knew what we girls go through!" When we realized we both used to be men we laughed so hard we were almost crying. We laughed so much I think we maybe we woke up my baby because he/she was quite lively in there.

"Isn’t that a remarkable feeling? I just loved it whenever he kicked,” said Josie. Then she had an idea; that I should put Sam on my belly and maybe he can feel his new friend.

"Oh, yes, let’s!" I turned him to face my belly and he put his arms out like he was greeting an old friend. Just then my baby did kick and Sam burst out in his joyful baby laughter. What a wonderful moment! Josie and I both squealed a bit and then we tried a group hug.

It felt so good to be with Josie again. "The whole journey has been remarkable to say the least and the best part is still coming for me! I am so glad to see you again, I missed you so much!"

"Me, too! And Dr. Z, he told me to give you a big hug and kiss."

It was so helpful having Josie there. She taught me so much about dealing with an infant. How to properly nurse him, then how to burp him. About why he might be crying, the proper way to change diapers, when to try and catch a nap and so much more. I asked her about Michael and she said he was very helpful but it could be stressful when Sam starts crying in the middle of the night. Eventually, though, the talk got around to my love life.

I told her about Bill 310 and what a disappointment he was. The only lover I had besides him and Devin was the wonderful Pete. Without getting into the details I just told her that the sex has been amazing and so much better as female. She totally agreed. I told her he might stop by, as he often did, so maybe she could meet him. She was happy to hear I was learning how to cook. She said she had gotten pretty good at it and that she will be happy when Sam goes on real food.

I was going to bring up why I disappeared for awhile but then I heard my buzzer go off. It was Pete!

"Pete, I want you to me my dear friend, Josie and her son Sam.
"Josie, Sam, this is Pete."

"Well, hello, Josie, nice to meet you and aren’t you a handsome young man, Sam."

If Josie were to look at me she would see me beaming because my
closest friends were here with me.

"Pete, we were just talking about you and what a fine man you are."

Jodie piped in, "Yes, she says you are very skilled in so many
things."

"Well, it’s not all that special, it’s just what I do."

"See, I told you he was modest, didn’t I? Jodie."

"Well sorry to barge in unannounced but I stopped in to take my lady out to lunch. Instead how about I take both of you lovely ladies to lunch...and this handsome young man too, of course."

Jodie said, "Thank you for the offer, Pete, but I need to head back towards home and I want to beat the traffic."

"Totally understood. Well, I’m sure we will meet again. Maybe next time?" said Pete.

We gathered up all of Sam’s stuff and, of course, Pete took it all down to Josie’s car.

We hung back a little and Josie whispered in my ear, "Wow, he’s real nice and so cute. Lucky you and lucky him. You two make a beautiful couple."

"Thank you, I really like him!" I didn’t think I needed to tell her how easy it turned out to be to fall in love with this man.

We waved Josie and Sam away and as Pete and I walked back he said, "Josie seems real nice. You know her from...?"

"From school" I answered quickly. I was going to discuss with Josie about whether or not to tell Pete about our similar histories. She said she hasn’t told Michael about her past thinking she might lose him if he found out. I understand her thinking but I felt differently. I felt like whoever it is I get serious with needs to know about my male past. I should have done that with Devin and, knowing his similar path, it might have made our relationship totally different. As far as Bill 310 is concerned he had his fun with me and I’ll leave it at that.

"Well, are you up to having a bite?" asked Pete.

"Um, sure, just give me a few minutes to pull myself together."

"Sure, he said, I have a couple hours before I need to go help someone fix her washing machine. She just lives a few blocks away."

I changed my blouse since Sam spit up a little on it, knotted up my hair, put on a bit of lip gloss. Then I grabbed Pete’s arm and off we went. He took me to some place that I’ve seen but never been to. It looked like an old school bus but it served tacos. Once again, it was something new to me. He told me to sit at the picnic table and then ordered for me. It was a very informal, more like eating with family. He said these were authentic tacos and much better than you’d find at a Taco Bell. Then he explained the different spicy sauces and said, "Just use your hands, like this!" He showed me.

Oh my they were so good although I avoided the hot salsas for my
baby’s sake.

"Have you ever been south of the border?" he asked.

"Who me, no. I haven’t been anywhere."

"Well, I was wondering if you might like to join me on a trip to Costa Rica. It’s a beautiful place, amazing natural beauty, lots of beaches and wonderfully nice people. I’ve been there a few times and it’s like paradise. It would be all on me and we could spend a week or two exploring the country. What do you say?"

"Oh wow, it sounds fantastic. I love to swim but have never been in salt water. I don’t know about you paying for me, though."

Pete said, "Don’t worry about that. I want to and besides it isn’t that expensive down there."

"Well what about my baby?"

"Oh, he or she can come too!" he laughed. "It should be fine but that’s why I am asking now, before you get any further along."

"Well, it sounds like a lot of fun but I need to check with my OB first. You don’t mind?"

"Of course not, I want you to enjoy it but I also want you to feel safe in doing so."

I leaned over the table and kissed him. "Pete, you are incredible. One amazing surprise after another. I’ll make an appointment with my OB as soon as I get back home."

He smiled and said, "You know something, Carli, I would be happy doing just about anything with you. You bring such joy to me!"

I felt like I found my partner in life. He was so kind, honest and charming and I was falling deeply in love! I know what people mean when they say they were swept off their feet because that is exactly how it felt!

I actually had not yet set up an OB in my new city but I found one that wasn’t too far away and set an appointment for the following day. I was nervous showing up with no medical records or history to share. I decided the best thing to do is tell the doctor the truth and see what happens. It turns out she knew about Dr. Z’s work and she was very cool about it and treated me as if I was a genetic girl in her first pregnancy. She said she did not see why I shouldn’t be tested as such since, as Dr. Z said, I am a genetic female. The testing wasn’t a lot different than what Dr. Z performed, specula included, except now I was pregnant. My OB, Dr. Meyer, she said to call her Suzy, was very helpful and concluded that there is no reason to worry, I should go on this trip and enjoy it without any issues. She did want me to schedule a follow up in my 3rd trimester, however.

When I got back home I called Pete and said, "Honey, take me away! Take us to Costa Rica!"

He was so happy and said he would stop by later for a little
celebration.

Since I thought I would be swimming a lot I went and bought 3 more suits and just one of them was actually a maternity style one. The others were bikinis, of course, so my belly bump would not be an issue. I had one on when Pete came by. He buzzed and I just opened the door and then stepped back to model one of the bikinis. As soon as he came through the door his eyes bulged and said, "Oh my goodness, you are definitely a bathing beauty. Come here, my beautiful girlfriend!"

No one ever called me ‘girlfriend’ before, of course. Or ‘beautiful’ either. I loved it that I was somebody’s girlfriend and that wonderful man was my boyfriend! It was a dream coming true.

We landed at the San Jose Airport and immediately headed towards the beach from the lovely hotel which was just steps away from the ocean. The air was soft and warm and the salt air so refreshing. He was right about the Costa Rican people, of course, they were all wonderfully nice. He booked an ocean-side room where we changed into our swimsuits and headed out to the shore. I started out wearing the one-piece, my belly prominently on display.

The water was so warm, almost like taking a bath. There were warning posted in several places saying to be cautious of the rip tides and to avoid walking near the waves during low tides because of stinging rays. Since I spent most of my swimming life in heated pools those were things I never had to worry about before.

As we were walking along the beach a pregnant Costa Rican woman came up to me, pointed at my belly and said, "¿Cuántos meses de embarazo?"

I just looked confused, then at Pete who said she wants to know how many months pregnant you are. I smiled at her and put up 4 fingers.

Pete said, "Cuatro meses, senora, cuantos meses para usted?"

"Cinco meses," she answered.

Pete said she is "5 months along." She and I both smiled and gently touched each others belly, sharing a universal language of motherhood. We hugged each other, our bellies rubbing on each others and she smiled and said, "Adios madre y padre," as she left. I really liked her.

She said, "Goodbye mother and father," didn’t she? so I guess she thought you are the dad."

Pete didn’t say anything for awhile and I didn’t know what else to say to him. We walked further along the beach, not saying anything until I cleared my throat and said, "So you seem pretty OK with being with me even though..." as I pointed to my belly.

He thought for a few seconds before saying "Well, I would be a happy man if I was the dad but I’m still happy knowing you are the mom. I guess I mean that I love you and so I love your baby. I’d be lying If I said it doesn’t matter to me who the dad is but in the big picture, a mom and dad should be together. Now it doesn’t matter who this guy is but I don’t respect him at all if he just left you two alone."

I held both his hands in mine and pulled myself closer to him. “Pete, you would make a wonderful dad. In some ways you already are. Any woman, pregnant or not, would be lucky to have you in their life."

He released me from his arms and said, "Well this is a good a time as any..." as he reached into his pocket and knelt on one knee. Oh my, was he going to ask me to marry him? I was speechless as he said, "Carli, you know how I feel about you. I have never loved anyone as much as I love you…"

My entire body was trembling and I was on the verge of tears, of
course, but they were the happiest tears I ever had!

"Carli, I love you more than life itself and I want you to be my
bride, will you make me the luckiest and happiest man in the world and marry me, please?"

Stunned I looked at his face and he looked so happy. The tears gushed out of me as I said, "Yes, yes, I will marry you, Pete, I love you with all that is me!"

Still on his knees he took my left hand and slipped on this gorgeous diamond ring. It must have cost a fortune. He yelled out to no one and everyone, "She said yes! Ella dijo que si!" and people around us yelled out congratulations and waves and all of a sudden a celebration party happened. This was too good to be true. I just held him tight against me and let it sink in. I was going to be a wife! I was going to have a husband! My baby is going to have a daddy! We are going to
be a family!

I was too distracted to swim now. We headed back to our room where, after showers, I went and sat on his lap. Baby and I were probably crushing him but he just kissed me and hugged us. The three of us just stayed like this until, suddenly, I felt the baby move. I grabbed his hand and held it over the spot and then....our baby kicked again!

He howled in delight! "Our baby kicked!" he said. "OUR baby! What a wonderful man! His smile could light up the night sky.

I watched baby’s foot, hand, who knows, press against the inside of my belly and felt it’s little kick-like movements. I just know she, I’ve started to think of our baby as a she, I just know she telling me she’s getting ready to meet me. Then I looked at my hand I saw my beautiful wedding ring. What a day. What a day to be a woman, a pregnant woman and somebody’s fiance!!!!!! What a joyous day!

After all that excitement I told Pete we needed to lie down. By “we" I meant me and our baby. Pete went to the local watering hole to celebrate with some of his buddies. Everybody loves him, so it’s no wonder I do.

The fact that he refers to my baby as our baby makes me feel that all is right in the world. I’m hoping that someday Pete will want to have a child with me. Getting married, though, presents a whole lot of preparation and work. I don’t know if he has a date set in mind but I think I would rather give birth first and then have our wedding. I also don’t know what he has in his head about what kind of wedding we will have. I know I would like, perhaps like most girls’ wishes, a beautiful, full-length wedding gown. I doubt there is anything feminine as that. I would probably prefer a small ceremony but, not knowing what Pete has envisioned, I wouldn’t mind a church wedding and
lots of guests either. Then again I’d be happy going to Las Vegas and have Elvis perform the ceremony. The only thing that mattered is my, our, baby and Pete.

I was still awake when Pete came back, a little tipsy but still in control. He came to bed and kissed me and said, "Well hello, the future Mrs. Peter Ames Rogers, it is I, the future Mr. Carli Jane Smith-Rogers!" And let’s not forget Daddy Peter Ames Rogers, as well.

I told him he was being silly and he snapped to attention and said, “I am silly! Silly in love with the girl of my dreams."

I responded, "This girl of your dreams does love this silliness but so much more than that. To be honest I really haven’t had much time to think about a future husband but now I don’t need to, I already found him!"

With a mischievous smile he asked, "Hm, I wonder if she is ticklish? Let’s see. How about here!" as he went for my feet.

"No, no," I squeaked, "please don’t. No, No, Stop it, you’ll make me wet myself!" As he then stopped tickling and instead began kissing my toes. It felt wonderful and started to get me excited. He kissed my feet and then kissed his way up my legs. My knees, specifically the backs of my knees are especially sensitive and he knows it. He was getting me very hot as he continued to work his way up.

He slid my nightie up and I found myself spreading my legs without thinking. He kissed and nibbled his way up to my vagina and then started licking a sucking my clitoris while placing a finger inside me. Almost immediately I began to tremble with excitement. While continuing to pleasure my clitoris he also explored my depths, first with one finger, then two, then three which he then spread wide inside me. Oh my GAWD! I was so wet inside! Then he pulled his fingers out slowly and drove his tongue inside. He sniffed deeply and said, “Your scent is like spring itself, full of promise and beauty. Madame, I am your humble servant. I am powerless!"

How different Is Pete’s lovemaking skills compared to, say, Bill 310. He was all about satisfying himself and if he was able to satisfy his partner as well then he considered himself a stud. Pete is just the opposite. My take is that he thinks about satisfying his partner first, then himself. I’m a lucky woman!

The rest of the trip was very fun. We went to a hotel with fantastic hot springs which were fed from a nearby active volcano. It was fun to float around on the warming waters even though my belly was so obvious. We stopped at small, quaint towns to do some souvenir shopping. Went to a butterfly ranch where we could walk around in a netted area and have butterflies flitting all around us. Took a nature walk through the tropical jungle and saw all sorts of plants and wildlife foreign to me. Stopped at a bridge overlooking a river filled with alligators, or maybe they were crocodiles. Either way, it wasn’t something you see every day unless you lived in Florida. Mostly, though, we went to different beaches, of which there were many. Some were surfer hangouts and I wished I could try it but with my center of balance quite different I don’t think my belly would
allow it. I watched Pete try his luck but I’m afraid he was off the board more than on. We had a good laugh about it when he came back to me. All in all it was one of my most memorable weeks of my life. It was my first journey out of the US, heck, out of the boonies. I’ve never been anywhere or done much, I guess. Just grew up a clueless boy, go to school, eat, sleep, repeat. Already Pete has shown this girl so much.

6 months along now and I’m really feeling like I wish this would be over and my baby was already here. Just the difficulty in getting comfortable is a real pain. What kept me going was, of course, thinking about my wedding. As soon as I got home I called Josie. She was thrilled for me, of course. She lamented that Michael still hasn’t proposed. I told her that nowadays it isn’t as important as it used to be, that just finding someone who loves you is what’s important. She sighed and then said "You know, I think he’s cheating on me. I think he’s got another girlfriend because he keeps coming up with reasons he has to "work late" which he never did before." She was crying now and I teared up as well. I wished I hadn’t mentioned my proposal.

"I’m so sorry to hear that, Josie. Is there anything I can do for you and Sam?" "Yes, find another gem like Pete." She managed a little bit of a laugh with that.

My Pete really is a gem! I am so lucky to have him. I asked her if she wanted to come over but she said she was pretty busy with work, that they have 5 new recruits and so she is really busy right now.

"Wow, 5! I’m glad to hear there are others willing to go through all this."

Josie said, " Well, three of them are doing it just for the money, I think, so whether they go through the entire program is doubtful but the other 2 seem like excellent candidates. Actually Dr.Z. wanted me to ask you if you would be willing to come and perhaps give a little talk about your experience. He says that you are the best to come through the program, so far."

I was surprised that she wasn’t the best since she is the one who guided me all along the way. Josie thanked me but said, "No, I agree with his judgement, you are by far the most successful to come through."

I told her I would have to think about that. I wasn’t keen on
returning to Room 01 or the campus at all, for that matter. Then I told her she is welcome to come by anytime and I could even babysit Sam sometime. She thanked me but had a diaper to deal with so we said our goodbyes.

I talked to Pete about Dr. Z’s invitation and Pete, being the kind of man he is, said I should do it if it helps others and that he would be willing drive me there. I thought about it and he was right, if it would help others on this important duty then it would be worth the effort.

Being 6 months along when we made the trip. I was getting so big now that it was more difficult to drive since the steering wheel rubbed against my belly. I’m so glad Pete volunteered to drive me. I should say "to drive us" since baby is certainly a part of me.

"You seem nervous, sweetheart. Take a few deep breaths and think pleasant thoughts like bunnies and, uh, babies."

I tried what he suggested and it did help. Seeing the building where Room 01 is brought back many memories, mostly good. I can’t imagine what must be going through the minds of the new students. On the way here I pointed out to Pete where the infamous pool party happened and passed the dorm where I lived and Devin’s frat house. Gosh, all that seems like years ago.

Room 01 looked exactly the same. I told Pete that it’s funny to think that when I first came to Room 01 I was a boy, trying to be a man.
When I left I was a girl, learning how to be a woman. He said, “You should use that statement in your presentation. It pretty much sums it up, right?" I nodded yes, I was so nervous.

Carli and Dr.Z. were both waiting at the door. This is the first time I have seen or spoken to the doctor since I left. We hugged and I was actually happy to see him. They both congratulated Pete and I on our marriage. Our last meeting didn’t end well but I have since forgiven him for the whole Devin thing. He realized he made an error in judgement regarding Devin. Pete and I hugged and kissed Josie and
she introduced Dr. Z to Pete who said, "I have heard so much about you work. It is remarkable and if it wasn’t for you I never would have found my fiance, so I thank you!" Dr. Z. Just shook off the compliments and wanted to get started, as usual. With that Pete excused himself and said he would meet me in the coffee shop.

Dr. Z said, "Josie said she told you about our latest students,
correct?"

"Yes, I have heard you have 5 this time."

Josie stepped up and said, "Actually one more joined this morning so 6 now. Shall we meet them?"

We went into the screening room where I spent many, many hours. Josie introduced us to them, 6 young men who will, with hard work, desire and dedication, will eventually become fertile women if all goes well. Right now they just looked like typical college males, slouching and acting cool but you could see they were nervous. I could tell, the were checking me out, especially my belly.

One student named Jason raised his hand and asked me if I thought it was worth it.

"That depends on what worth is to you. If you are like I was then you will have many questions, doubts and maybe some anxiety. I know I did. I also did not really pay attention to what the entire program was about." I glanced at Josie and Dr.Z. who both chuckled. "I was just looking to make some money for expenses. However as the changes in my body and thought processes occurred I started to appreciate this ‘gift’ and eventually made me a much better person and finally became the fertile female you see in front of you."

"And she is not only fertile but..." as Josie gave me a peek and I nodded. "She is not only fertile but, as you an see, she is 6 months pregnant." You could see in their eyes that this was more than just a means to make some money but would definitely change their lives plus provide a service to humanity.

One of the students asked the inevitable question. "Was you a gay before, I mean, you must like guys if you are getting pregnant and all or did you just become attracted to guys after you was female. I like girls so what happens there?"

"Good question. No, I was not gay. The thought never crossed my mind. Am I gay now? No. I have a fiancé and our relationship is heterosexual. I dated women when I was male and I dated guys when I became female. I was hetero before and I still am It just happens. Well, actually, Dr.Z’s program helps make it happen but it’s really how you handle the input you are given that decides whether or not you are hetero. I believe that’s correct, Doctor?"

"Yes, Carli explains it very well. All we do in the preliminary stage is basically planting ideas and concepts. You do the rest of it. It’s like walking down an unfamiliar street and having to turn, left or right. You choose the one based on your personal judgement. Experience tells us that the one route you ultimately choose is based on what your brain, eyes and ears have been interpreting for you during your treatments. You might decide to be a lesbian or bisexual. We have 2 graduates who have become lesbians and both have delivered babies and raised them as lesbian moms."

"Thank you, doctor, that is how it happened for me. Apparently I did prefer the feminine side over the masculine in ways I did not realize. It was probably, what 2 months or so in the program, correct me if I’m wrong, Josie, that I turned the corner. From then on it was just a matter of becoming aware of what I did, how I did it and how I felt about it after. When the images and sounds of babies became more prevalent I knew, in my heart, that I would dedicated myself to ultimately becoming a mother. In fact, getting pregnant became my focus. I sincerely wanted to give birth and raise a family. Today I am 6 months pregnant, engaged to this wonderful man, Pete, and happier and more satisfied with my life than I thought possible. Dr. Zillow
is a genius and all of you should feel lucky to be involved in his system. Josie, as you may or may not know, was also male, like all of you and me, and is now the mother of a beautiful baby boy." The boys’ heads all swiveled towards Josie; no doubt they had no idea about Josie.

So you see what happens to you it’s totally up to you. Remember, one of the requirements is that you get pregnant. I know that sounds like a big deal but becoming a woman is no easy task and part of that deal is that you will eventually have everything you need inside of you to create a human being, if can you imagine. Right now you have all the wrong parts to have a baby but, if you stay with the program, you will have the right parts, and most of those parts are there for one reason, to become pregnant. How you get pregnant is ultimately up to you. You could be artificially inseminated and there would be
absolutely no contact with a male. You could volunteer to carry a surrogate child for a barren woman who desires a child and get paid handsomely. Not all of us will be able to have what is called a normal birth, some of us who don’t have wider hips among other things will have to have a cesarean delivery. I was one of the lucky ones, because I was shorter than most males and my body shape was more pear-shaped the magic that Dr.Z performed meant I now had wider hips. Hopefully when it comes time to deliver my baby I can deliver him or her the way women have been doing so since the beginning. I find it incredibly unbelievable yet here we are, Josie and I, as living proof.

One of the students said, "I can’t believe that you and Josie used to be guys. You are both so feminine. Will I be that feminine as well? Is there anything that happened to you that you regret."

Carli said, "I can only speak for myself but there really is nothing that I am unhappy with concerning my body and mind. How about you, Josie?"

She said, "My only regret is that I did not start sooner, mainly
because by now I could have been pregnant a few more times." We all laughed!

Another student asked, "Was the pain unbearable when you delivered your baby, Josie?"

"Well for one thing it came as a complete surprise because my baby was premature. But yes it does hurt, it hurts a lot but it’s so so worth it.."

With that Dr.Z. said it was time for the new students to get started. I asked the students if they wanted to touch my belly. Two of them did and their eyes got big, the others weren’t sure and declined. I totally understood their reservation. I took the hand of one boy and placed it on my belly, a place baby has been restless. It was just a minute or so and he kinda jumped. "I felt it, I felt it move. That was amazing." Soon all the boys were trying.

Before they got started Dr. Z thanked Josie and I for being kind
enough to answer these questions. As I watched Josie get the students set up for their first session with the headphones and clickers I thought about my first session with her. It seems like years ago and it’s barely been a year.

Dr. Z and I left the classroom and wandered to the coffee shop to meet up with Pete.

Dr. Z said, "Congratulations to you both. You are a lucky man, sir. Carli is one of the sweetest females I have had the pleasure to know. She told me her baby’s father didn’t want to be involved so that makes your commitment even more meaningful. It has always been the goal of this program to try and make happy, committed couples and you two certainly seemed to fit be the ideal. It only serves to validate what we are trying to do here and I thank you for that."

I was going to say something but Dr. Z being Dr. Z, he just shook hands with Pete, turned his cheek toward me so I could kiss it and then hug him. Once outside I turned to Pete and put my arms around his neck and told him how glad I was he accompanied me and that he got a chance to meet Dr.Z.

I mentioned that I was so nervous meeting the new applicants but the doctor said I didn’t seem nervous at all and did a very good job describing your perspective. We held hands as we walked to the car. I was exhausted and wanted to go home so I could lay down. My back was killing me and it seemed like baby was agitated. I was trying to decide if baby could tell that I was stressed out a bit or anxious and that’s why there was so much movement in my belly. 3 more months! Sigh! I was beginning to question my plan on having lots of babies. This boy or girl is making it clear that I needed to slow down and relax. The last few months had been filled with travel and stress. Luckily I have Pete and his patience!

7 months along and I can’t believe how much my belly has extended. It is truly amazing how much a woman’ body changes from month to month. Getting up and down in a chair takes a lot of time and effort. I also have to pee what seems like 15 minutes as Josie described. Hot flashes, legs cramps, irritability, more hot flashes, stretch marks, digestion problems, and I just noticed my belly button went from an innie to an outie. So far, though, the Braxton-Hicks pains have been
the worst. If this is a taste of what my labor pain will be like I can tell you I am not looking forward to it since labor pains are supposedly much worse. I remember Josie told me how awfully
uncomfortable the BH pains were. I mean it only lasts for 30 seconds or so but it feels like longer but 30 seconds of pain seems like a lot to endure, for sure. She told me the best thing to do is change my position. Lie down, take a walk, have a warm bath and have a massage. Often, if he was present, Pete would massage my back which would really help.

I went to see my OB and she said everything looked fine. I’m used to these invasions of privacy now, I just get on the table, spread my legs, put my feet in the stirrups and let her check out my lady parts. This time she asked me if I wanted to know the baby’s gender. At first I wanted it to be a surprise but now I was very curious. She said because I’m carrying my baby high that it probably will be a girl. Then she showed me my scan and she was right. I was so excited! I could actually see her moving around inside of me! I didn’t tell Pete yet but I did tell Josie. She was excited as I was and said, "Seeing my baby moving made it so real. I was so happy. In fact I thought I had a daughter in there the whole time!"

Josie told me that she is organizing a baby shower for me. I was totally surprised at the news. It’s probably something I should have thought to do for Josie but the thought never crossed my mind. Luckily Mrs. Z was way ahead of me. I promised Josie that I would organize her next baby shower.

Mrs.Z rented a social space on campus and invited former and new
students, the 3 former students I had met before were invited but were previously engaged but Mrs Z and my OB Suzy were there along with some students I had met before. I had no idea what to wear. I mean the only things I had that would fit were my maternity dresses so I cobbled together an outfit with a peasant blouse on top and long full skirt and sandals. I doubt I could look more ‘motherly’.

All the guests were so nice to me. It turns out all of them had gone though or are going to go though the same process. Erica and Jeri I already knew from Room 01. They were both quite feminine now in appearance and demeanor and they were full of questions for me and Josie. Two other girls went through the program with Josie. One, Colleen, was quite pretty, a little chubby and really quiet. She was 4 months along and was doing well. The other, Roberta, was still trying and getting frustrated that she wasn’t pregnant yet.

We shared stories, had a nice light lunch provided by Josie and Dr.Z. When Josie brought up the story of the pool party they were all in tears of laughter about the ‘Clam Queen’.

They gave me some wonderful gifts such as baby clothes, toys and, most of all, diaper service. I knew that was going to come in handy. I already resolved to not use disposables.

It was a fun time. I mean you could almost feel the estrogen pulsing. Pete remarked that very thing when he came to pick me up. The comparison between this party and one I would have attended as a guy was startling.

Back then we’d sit around and eat junk food, drink lots of beer, watch football, fart, belch and high five each other. This party was all about sharing stories of babies, gossip about guys, shared tears and hugs of joy. It was truly wonderful to feel the love.

Later that night Pete and I tried making love but it was a struggle. I tried getting on all fours and he took me from behind but, with my heavy boobs and belly bouncing around it became quite uncomfortable. We tried with me on my side and that worked better but all the time I was worrying about the baby so I never orgasmed. As long as Pete could get satisfied is all I cared about, ultimately.

8 months along now. More of the same but more intense. Josie loaned me her birthing ball and it was just what I needed at this stage. Because it was soft and pliable I would sit on it instead of a hard-backed chair. She showed me some exercises to try and it seemed to alleviate some of the pressure down there. I have put on 25 pounds so far and I really feel it in my feet and ankles. When I walk it looks like I am waddling like a duck. I seem to be a little clumsy now, probably from the added weight and my constantly changing center of gravity. My baby seems to have dropped lower which means she is getting into position for delivery. Also having heartburn, indigestion, fatigue and hot flashes. My breasts have started leaking, The worst part is I have been very irritable. I barked at Pete the other day for just a little thing. I asked for a cup of tea and it was too strong. I mean, it was nothing, no big deal, but I made it a big deal. I could tell that it bothered him so I apologized deeply. He deserves nothing but gold stars in my book.

Josie and Sam came by for a visit. She and Michael decided to mend fences so they are back together again. I’m so happy for her. She said the last group of students are having mixed results. One left the program after a week. Another had missed too many sessions and had to be dropped. There were 4 left and 2 of them were doing fine and 2 were a little slower in grasping the concepts so it took more of her time to work with them. The 2 that were doing well, she thought, would ultimately become excellent mothers. One of them, Eric has already assumed a female presence, changing his name to Erica and dressing as female. I envy him, er, Erica. She gets to learn the wonders of becoming female just as I did. I asked Josie to give her
my best and that after I deliver I will come for a visit. Hopefully by them a few of the others will also be prospective girls and mothers. When I think back on it I realize what an amazing journey this has been...and it’s not over yet

Sam is growing so fast. I held him for most of the time they were there, nuzzling, hugging, and smothering him with kisses. I told him he was such a handsome boy. He’s grown so much since I last saw him. He is so much more aware of his surroundings, his hand-eye coordination is fun to watch. It’s amazing how fast they change at this age. I had a chance to feed him, burp him and change his diapers. All good things to practice before I would be doing the very same things, every day. He is at the age where he smiles all the time and it just melts my heart when he does. I can hardly wait! His mom and I reminisce about the ‘old days’ which was less than a year ago. I told her I remember when I was busy trying my best to learn the basics of being a girl. Besides all the hair, makeup and dressing tips she told me a few tricks like removing your bra under your clothes. At that time I was having a hard enough time trying to put a
bra on, much less removing it. Another handy tip was how to stop a run in my hose before it got worse by using clear nail polish. Of course she also taught me some tricks on how to seduce a man which is totally not what I tried to do back when I was a guy and trying to seduce a girl. Sometimes, a wink, smile or an innocent touch is all that’s needed, I found out. She said I needed to realize that being a female has powers but to use them wisely and that men are, generally, pushovers and she couldn’t believe she was so naive.

Pete, as always, has been concerned and caring. He has been staying some nights with me now, especially if I am having a difficult time. Eventually I will move to his place since we can’t let his ‘Family’ stay in this condo. My lease will be up in 8 months.

It’s almost unbelievable the change in my life in just a little over a year. I went from being a competitive male swimmer to an expectant female mom. I went from worrying about lap times to worrying about menstrual cycles. I will soon be giving birth to, I hope, a healthy infant. After that I will be marrying the man of my life. Amazing! I will have a family to care for and have never been so happy!

I’m finally in my 9th month and I am so ready to deliver. My baby has been pounding away on my insides. My poor uterus is probably black and blue inside and I barely got possession of it. All the symptoms of last month are still there but just more intense. I have my ‘Go bag’ already packed an by the door. Pete has been staying at my place so he can take me when it’s time. He has a house sitter for his ‘family’ in the meantime. It’s nice to have him in my bed although we can’t do anything. I just roll around and moan. He just rubs my back and my feet, wipes my sweaty forehead with a cool towel and helps me get up when I have to go potty. I mean, what else could I ask for?
He’s a keeper, for sure. My OB says my due date is on the 15th so that is just 2 weeks away.

We have been working on names and so far we have, for girls, Rose, Erin, Monica and Petra (the closest we could come to Pete beside Petunia and I would hate for her to have to deal with a name like that in school.). For boys we have Cooper, Hazen, Walker and Burke (my mom’s maiden name). I hadn’t told Pete what the OB said about the baby being a girl. It was my secret.

Josie said I should shave "down there" which makes it neater and
easier to keep clean in the postpartum. I had never done that and I had to ask Pete to help me since I couldn’t really see what I was doing down there. He was glad to help.

"Pete! It’s time!"

He jumped out of bed, helped me sit up, then threw on some clothes and wrapped my robe around me and put my slippers on my feet. He steadied me as we headed for the door. With one hand grabbing the ‘Go bag’ he led me to the elevator. Just as we got into the elevator my water broke.

"Oh no," he said, well, there’s not much we can do about it now." as he led me to his car. He sped to the hospital in record time, got me in a wheelchair and then right to the maternity ward.

"How are you doing? Remember, breathe!"

I breathed with him until the nurse came and took over. All I could do was look back and say "I love you!" as the doctor came in.

"I love you too, Carli! Go make us a baby" as I burst out in tears.

I kept telling myself, "Well, this is it, I am really going to give birth to a tiny human person. Me! This is what I have been preparing for this past year so don’t mess it up, baby girl! Come out, baby!” as I screamed in pain. I thought Braxton Hicks were bad but this was 10 times more painful. It felt like my insides would explode. I had crazy thoughts like, "Did they measure right, will my baby be able to come out? What if she gets stuck?" even though I knew my doctor, and Dr Z. knew that everything would be fine.

My contractions were about 30 seconds every 20 minutes or so but now they were at least a minute long every couple of minutes. I sensed I was getting close.

Pete was right there, holding my hand and helping me breathe. It seems like hours and I had only dilated 2cm’s. My doctor said I was at 40% effacement. The labor would calm down and then come back, me almost yelling, pleading, to get the baby out. This must have been the active labor Josie described as "The ring of fire." I thought for sure I would split in two. Finally the doctor said, "10cm’s, Let’s push!" I pushed with all my might, I thought I would break Pete’s hand while he held it.

Then finally, suddenly, I felt her head pop out of me and then seconds later she slid right out. I was so excited and full of tears I was almost oblivious to what just happened but then I heard,"It’s a girl!” and then I heard a baby cry. My baby! I did it! As hard as it is to believe, it actually happened! I was so excited! The nurse handed her to me and said, "She’s perfect!" My little girl had some powerful lung power that’s for sure but I moved her to my breast and she immediately began suckling. Wow, what a feeling! I made a baby! I’m feeding a baby! I am her mother!!!!

I have no recollection that the placenta was delivered but as my OB said, there was a little tearing but I didn’t care. I would have given up my arm for my baby. The doctor took care of that and pronounced "Mother and baby are doing fine!" My little bundle of joy weighed 7.2 pounds and is 18" long. Pretty normal, I think. It wasn’t long until mother and baby fell asleep together in total bliss, I was told.

The next day I tried to recall what I had gone through during my first birth. I remember saying I didn’t want an epidural. No matter how much it hurt I wanted the total experience of childbirth. Oh, it hurt a lot, more than I expected and for lots longer than I anticipated but now that it’s over I am so glad For the experience.

I was so thankful my hips had been wide enough to allow for a natural birth instead of a Caesarian delivery. I figured childbirth was going to be messy but I had no idea. The next time, and there will be a next time, I will know better what to expect.

Mostly though what I remember the most was when they passed my
daughter to me. At that moment everything changed. All that I had gone through, my male years of discontent, my months of participating in Room 01, the rapid education in the world of becoming female all led up to this moment. Tears poured out of me as I held her tightly against me, cherishing this and every subsequent moment of her new- born life. I will no longer be who I was, this is the new me, my beautiful daughter’s mother.

Pete was at my side for all 11 hours. Did I say he was a keeper? He called Josie and she told Dr. Z. and they both came to visit later that day. Pete was still there. Both of them were smiling when they saw Pete, then me. When they were there my baby was in the examining room but a nurse brought her in not too long after.

When they put her in my arms I announced, "Josie, Dr. Z., I’d like you to meet the most beautiful little girl in the world, Josette." Her name just popped into my head a few minutes ago and I knew it was perfect. Pete thought so too.

Josie’s eyes were huge as she pointed to herself, then Josette,
questioning. I nodded yes and, once again the tears flowed. Even Dr.Z was smiling which he didn’t often do. I wondered if Dr.Z gets enough credit for the amazing work he’s done! It was feeding time for Josette so I pulled back my smock and he averted his eyes. Josie and I smiled at each other. After all the work he has done creating new mothers he was still very modest. They left shortly thereafter so we could have some privacy but I told Josie I would be home in a couple days and for her to come by, Dr. Z too.

Pete was beaming the whole time. He said to me, "Thank you, my love, for making me very happy. Even though she isn’t really mine I will love her like she was. She is beautiful, just like her mother."

As if I hadn’t cried enough, hearing that made the tears flow again. "Oh Pete, you are such a wonderful man and I know you will make a fantastic father as well as the ideal husband. Thank you for being you and loving me, no, us!"

Before they left, Dr. Z handed me an envelope. I didn’t open it right away but when Pete asked me what was in it I got curious so I opened it. I thought it would be a congratulations card or something like that but then I realized it was a check for $50,000! I’d forgotten that was the bonus for delivering my first baby. I was stunned! So was Pete. I hadn’t told him anything about the money until then.

Our wedding was scheduled for 4 months from now. There was still a lot to plan for so when we got back to my place I would have my hands full, for sure. Pete had fixed up the spare bedroom and when we finally got home it looked like a princess’s bedroom. Her name was spelled out in big, pink letters on the wall. Her crib was filled with toys. There were all sorts of flickering fairy lights on the ceiling. It was enchanting! I placed Josette in her bed, turned on the revolving mobile that Pete installed and just sat and watched her.
It was so hard to believe, even though I went through the entire
process, that she came out of me. This living, breathing bundle of joy came from inside me! Naysayers talk about how childbirth isn’t a miracle but, in my case, it certainly seemed miraculous!

Pete came into the room after unloading the car, put his arms around me and said, "She has your eyes, those captivating eyes. Pity all those boys who will lust after her when she grows up." I reminded him that she is only days old, give her some time to be a kid first." He laughed and said, "I am just kidding. Any boys who think they have a chance with her will have to deal with me first!"

Having an infant is certainly lots of work but the reward far exceeds the time spent. Josette and I are on a good routine now, she sleeps most of the night, thankfully, so I can get hours of uninterrupted sleep, for the most part. She really likes it when I bathe her, she giggles the whole time. I try to appreciate every waking hour because I know she will be all grown up eventually and will grow up faster than I can imagine.

Pete has started spending more time at my place. I really enjoy his company and now we can really enjoy our love-making. It is rare when Josette interrupts us. I really missed Pete’s manly scent, his body, his strength, his kisses, his nibbles but most of all, having him inside me. We are using condoms right now and for a while. We discussed this and my OB suggested we wait at least 6 months before trying to get pregnant again. I hate condoms but that made sense to me. As much as I would love to have another baby I need to think of Josette first and let my body recover. Besides, I want her to have my full attention for a while.