Time passed and Julius's jet black hair turned to grey, but we continued to enjoy our lives together. I had become known as a good wine-maker, not just a woman wine-maker, but one who could hold her own with the other island wine-makers. The wine sold very well on the mainland too.

We received an invitation to the wedding of Marcus to Valentina. It was a very grand affair with a great feast, In addition to our wedding presents of a dozen silver goblets with fine bas-relief carvings from one the best silversmiths in Rome, we made a handsome contribution to the wine which was served in abundance. Valentina was a very sweet young girl and I was sure that unlike Marcus, she was a virgin when she married. Still, I don't think it would be a good thing for two virgins to marry since how would they begin to know how to give each other pleasure in the marital bed? This they obviously did since, in just over a year, they had their first son. Marcus was still living and working at his father's vineyard where he and Valentina had their own villa, but I was sure that he was longing for the day when he would have his own vineyard. I wondered if Julius was considering retirement but it wasn't for me to say; a wife must know her place. One day Julius told me that he was going to make a last voyage to Neapoli as commander of the 'Golden Eagle'.

“I have selected an officer from my crew. Darius Aurelius, to take over the ship,” he said. “I know you would like me to retire my dear, even though you have said nothing. We can hand the vineyard over to Marcus and retire to a small villa near the coast where I can at least see the sea every day.”

“My lord, whatever pleases you, pleases me,” I replied with a bow.

A few days later, Julius left home for his final voyage. I had begged to be allowed to travel with him to bid him farewell from the port of Olbia.

“I will only be away ten days,” he relied.

“I know, my lord, please indulge a female's foolish whim.”

“Very well,” he replied. I think he was secretly pleased that I wanted to wave him farewell on his final voyage.

I went on board the 'Golden Eagle' at he port and the crew greeted me with respectful bows. I could see that they respected and loved Julius, their captain. I also met Darius, the officer who was to take over from him, a young man, full of enthusiasm. The last of 3000 amphorae were loaded onboard and they were ready to set sail.

Before he went aboard, Julius held me in his arms and kissed me: “Farewell my dear, wish me a safe and prosperous voyage and you will see me in ten days, I promise.”

He leapt aboard, the lines were cast off and the sails set in the offshore breeze. The ship gradually gathered speed and soon she was just a dot in the distance. I returned to my wagon with my women and we set off on the journey home. I had a nagging worry about this final voyage of Julius, but no reason for it, and I decided that I was just being silly.

The days passed quickly and soon it was the eve of the day when Julius was due to return. That night I was awoken suddenly and sat up in bed. It was still dark, but I heard Julius's voice ringing in my ears.

“Calpurnia!” he cried out and there was a despair in his voice that I had never heard before. I could hear a gale-force wind rattling the shutters of the windows and realised that a storm was raging. I lay back on the pillows, my heart pounding, and tried to go back to sleep. I must have dozed for a while because the next time I opened my eyes, there was a grey dawn breaking but the wind was as strong as ever. I had a feeling of dread; I couldn't get the sound of Julius calling my name out of my mind. I could sleep no longer so I arose and summoned my women from their slumbers to dress me and tell the cook to prepare breakfast. All the while the wind howled around the house and I couldn't help thinking that if it was this bad so far inland, what must it be like at sea? I made up my mind to go to Olbia and await Julius's arrival, even though I hoped that he had stood well out to sea while the storm raged.

The covered wagon was buffeted by the wind and rocked on its wheels as we traveled slowly towards Olbia, the horses straining against the wind and the rain. I'm sure the driver was silently cursing his mistress for insisting on traveling in such inclement weather. Flavia and Sabina clung to each other in terror, but I sat bolt upright; it is not becoming for a lady to show fear. We arrived at the port of Olbia which is sheltered and calm, but out to sea the waters still raged. Standing on the quayside, the wind whipping at my cloak, I saw an old sailor named Cato whom I knew to have once sailed with Julius so I went up and greeted him.

“Good Cato, my lord Julius Valerius was due to arrive in port today, but I hope he has stood out to sea in this terrible weather. Have you heard anything of his ship?”

Cato bowed low. “I've heard nothing, your ladyship, and he is too good a seaman to attempt to reach land in this weather.”

Just then some men ran down to the wharf shouting, “A ship is aground on the rocks north of the harbour and breaking up fast. We are going to help save her crew if we can; who will help us?”

I felt as if a cold vice had gripped my heart. Surely it wasn't the 'Golden Eagle'? I had to know, so I begged Cato to show me the way to the rocks and he willingly agreed. I summoned Flavia and Sabina to accompany me since they were still sheltering in the wagon and they were very reluctant but had no choice but to come with me.

When we reached the rocky headland and looked down below it was a terrible sight; I had no doubt that it was the 'Golden Eagle', although her back was broken and the stern had disappeared. The bow was driven up high onto the rocks, the mast had fallen and was alongside the hull, held to it with the ropes and sail, and all the while the waves crashed over the hull and the wind howled. There was a small beach near the rocks and I could see the figures of men there wading into the breakers and helping others from the water. It seemed some of the men at least were saved, but I could not recognise Julius amongst them. Nevertheless, I decided to go down and ask if any of the survivors had seen him. A young man who was present kindly agreed to help me down a steep rocky path that led to the beach, holding my hand in case I fell.

Reaching the sand, I hurried down to where the survivors were gathered; one was Darius, who was to have taken over captaincy of the Golden Eagle. Blood was streaming from his face where he had cut it on the rocks.

“Darius! Do you have any news of my lord?” I asked him anxiously. I'm sure he was shocked to see me.

“Alas my lady, I fear the worst; he insisted that all the men leave the ship before him especially the ones who cannot swim but could jump from the bow onto the rocks. I was the last to leave before him and just as I did so, the remains of the mast fell and struck him, carrying him over the side. I know he is a good swimmer so I still have hopes...” his voice trailed away.

I knew he was trying to keep my hopes up, but if Julius had been knocked unconscious by the mast, then there was little hope. Nevertheless, I stood there like a statue, looking out to sea through the driving rain and spray, although I sent my women back to the wagon for shelter.

It was about an hour later that they brought Julius to me. Four men carried him and laid him gently on the sand at my feet and then respectfully retired. One of the men must have closed his eyes and I was grateful for that as I could not have born to see them with all the light gone out of them. I feel to my knees beside him and gently brushed strands of hair away from his face, his still handsome face. The only sign of injury on it was a great bruise and were it not so white I could almost have believed he was asleep. I bent down and kissed his lips and they were icy cold.

The rest is a blur but I'm sure that I told him that I loved him, over and over again, and maybe even gently chided him for saying that he would return to me but not telling me it would be like this. I cannot remember if I shed tears then and if I did, they would not have been seen amidst the rain and spray dripping off my hair and face. Finally, when I stood up, Darius stepped forward.

“What can I do to assist you, my lady?” he asked, just loud enough to be heard over the wind and rain. I pulled myself together.

“Please send someone to Olbia to hire a wagon to convey my husband home,” I said, and was pleased to find my voice was steady. There would be no female hysterics before these men, his shipmates. “Also would you please send someone to my wagon and ask my women to give you one of the blankets they are using to keep warm, Tell them my lord has need of it.” I knew they would not be happy but they still had one blanket and Julius's body had to be wrapped for his journey.

All was done as I asked, and sometime later, I don't know how long since I had lost track of time, Julius's wrapped body was lying in the hired wagon, and I and my women were seated in our own wagon ready for the journey back to the villa. I told Darius and the remaining crew to take rooms which I would pay for at the hostelry where Julius and I had stayed on many occasions and that I would send for them when the day of the funeral was arranged. I don't know how I managed to think of all these arrangements when my mind was in a turmoil, but somehow I did. Then we set off for the winery. This time the wind was at our backs and the rain had eased. My two women huddled up in their blanket. They had of course offered it to me but I refused; I felt numb and almost as if this was a bad dream as our wagon followed the one bearing Julius's body.

It was dark when we reached the vineyards and the two wagons stopped outside the villa. The senior overseer ran down the steps to greet us, a questioning look on his face.

“Quintus, I have terrible news; my lord lies in the other wagon, drowned when his ship was wrecked. Please carry him into the guest bedroom until morning when we will make the funeral arrangements.”

Quintus bowed and without a word signalled to three slaves to help carry my lord into the villa. This they did with great care and tenderness and laid him, still wrapped in the blanket, on the bed. They brought an oil lamp and after removing the blanket from covering his head, I sat beside him to keep watch after sending my women to bed. There was nothing more they could do. Once I was alone I could no longer hold back the tears and I sobbed my heart out until there were no more tears to shed. Eventually I fell into a fitful sleep and didn't fully awake until it was morning, and my women came to me.

Now we started the funerary rituals; Julius's body was washed and anointed, dressed in his toga, and then placed to lie in state in the atrium of the house, with his feet pointing towards the door. A coin known as a 'viaticum' was placed on his lips. This is a payment for the boatman Charon who ferries the dead across the River Styx to the underworld. I'm not sure if Julius really believed that, but I thought it appropriate to follow tradition. Julius had told me that if he died before me, he wished his body to be cremated, with some of the ashes scattered in the vineyards and some in the sea that he loved so much.

I directed Quintus to organise the building of a funeral pyre among the vineyards away from the villa and sent messages to the neighbouring vineyards notifying the owners of Julius's death and inviting them to the funeral three days hence. I also a fast messenger to Brutus and his sons. They could arrive in time if they came on horseback but wives did not ride horses, so Brutus' and Marcus' wives would not be able to come. Finally, I sent word to Darius to attend the funeral with the crew, asking that some pieces of wood salvaged from the wreck of the 'Golden Eagle' be brought to be part of the funeral pyre so that the ship that Julius loved so much would symbolically accompany him to the afterlife.

On the evening of the funeral, everyone having gathered who had been invited, dressed in dark stolae, I and my women led the procession to the pyre and Julius's body was placed on it. I read the eulogy summarising his life and praising him as a man, a sea captain, a winemaker and a husband. Normally this would have been read by a man, but there was no close male relative and nobody knew him better than I. A sow was sacrificed to Ceres, the goddess of among other things agriculture and a portion of the meat added to the pyre as a symbolic offering to the deceased. Finally, as the sun was setting, a lighted torch was placed in my hands and I thrust it into the pyre which rapidly burst into flames. Some hired musicians who specialised in funeral music played solemn airs as the body and wood were consumed. When nothing was left but glowing ash, we all returned to the villa where I presided over a feast. Somehow, I don't know how, I managed to keep my emotions in check, but later when I went to my lonely bed, I muffled my sobs in my pillow until I finally fell asleep.

The following day, I went out at dawn to where the funeral pyre ashes were and collected a small amount from the centre and put them in a small gold-lined wooden box. It is my intention that it will be buried with me when the time comes so that Julius and I will be together forever. Then some slaves gathered up the rest of the ashes and scattered some around the vineyards and put the rest into amphorae so that they could be scattered over the sea that Julius loved so much.

After I returned to the villa, I had a discussion with Brutus and Marcus, Titus having returned to their vineyard in the south of the island. I produced the parchment on which Julius had written his will.

“As you know, Gaius Julius Valerius bequeathed this estate, complete with all the equipment, slaves, furniture and fittings to you Marcus Antonius. The free men and women on the estate have told me that they are willing to continue in their present positions if you wish them to do so, but that is your decision of course.”

“And what of you, Calpurnia Valeria, what are your plans?” asked Brutus. I smiled inwardly; this was a not so subtle inquiry as to whether I would be staying nearby and perhaps looking over Marcus's shoulder as he took over the estate.

“Thank you for your concern, Brutus. I have enjoyed the years I have spent on this island, but now it holds no pleasure for me, so I have decided that I will return to Rome and see out the rest of my days there.” I looked at the two men and they looked relieved.

“Julius made ample provision for my comfort, so there is one other thing I would like to discuss with you. It was his intention that the 'Golden Eagle' would be part of his bequest since you need two ships to convey wine to Italia. Alas, she now lies at the bottom of the sea, and her crew has no work. I would like to buy you a replacement ship but would hope you would consider employing the same crew to sail her for you. Darius was going to take over as captain after the last voyage and Julius spoke very highly of him.”

“My lady, that is very generous of you,” said Marcus. “Rather than look for a new crew I would certainly take up your suggestion to employ the crew of the 'Golden Eagle'.

I smiled. “I asked Darius to wait here pending your decision; perhaps I should ask him to join us and tell us if he has any ideas on where a replacement ship could be acquired?”

The two men being in agreement, Darius was summoned and informed of the decision we had made together. He was extremely pleased of course and could hardly conceal his pleasure at the thought of having a new ship to captain.

“My lady, my lords, there is a ship at the port of Olbia which would be most suitable and has been for sale for a few months. I would be happy, with your permission, to negotiate with her owner for a fair price, as I have heard that he is getting anxious to sell.”

To make a long story short, Darius went to Olbia the next morning and sent word two days later that he had negotiated a very good price for the ship. Meanwhile, Brutus with Marcus returned to his estate, so that Marcus and his wife and family could pack their belongings and come back to take possession of his new estate.

In the meantime, I packed all my belongings. I should mention that my two women, Flavia and Sabina who were slaves when first assigned to me, had a few years previously been freed, an act called 'manumissio' as a reward for their devoted service to me. I thought that they might decide to leave but they begged me to allow them to stay in my service and asked no payment rather than food, a bed, and a small remuneration. When I told them of my intention to live in Rome, it was obvious that they assumed they would be going with me, and after the number of years we had spent together, they had become more like friends than servants. In any case, they knew of my secret, something I rarely thought of but did not wish to divulge to new servants, so I agreed to take them.

Marcus arrived at the estate together with his wife Valentina Antonia and his son and many wagons containing their personal items and slaves. They were installed in the villa and I retired to a small bedroom for my last few weeks there, while I made sure that I answered Marcus's questions about the estate. In the meantime, four thousand amphorae of the most recent vintage were loaded on the new ship named 'Concordia'. Marcus had decided to accompany me on the first voyage of the ship to Italia, where I could introduce him to some of the merchants with whom Julius had built up a good relationship. He also insisted on escorting me to Rome where I took up lodgings for myself and my two women while I sought a suitable small villa in which to live. We bade each other farewell, and I wished him a happy and successful life for himself and his family in Sardinia, since I knew that I would not see him again. Another chapter of my life had closed.

To be continued