The Dresden Files/Codex Alera is copyright Jim Butcher. This story is licensed under the Creative Commons as derivative, noncommercial fiction.

We drove home in silence. Thomas seethed with anger. I could tell because he kept clenching and unclenching his jaw.

Stunned, I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to act, or what to do. I'm not normally at a loss of words, but having my entire body, soul and spirit ripped from me was a bit of a traumatic experience.

I shifted in the seat. I really needed a change of clothes. And I was…so…hungry.

"I'm starving," I said.

"Yeah." Thomas replied, guiding the now almost flying vehicle through the streets of Chicago. It was a good thing no one was around. If a truck pulled out from a side-street right now, we'd be toast.

Strangely, we didn't go home…I mean, back to the Penthouse. I was sort of looking forward to getting upstairs and getting in that bathtub I knew I had.

"Where are we going?"

He sighed. "You need to feed, Harry."

I frowned. "That name…somehow doesn't feel…right anymore."

"Yeah."

I glanced at the neighborhood we entered. It wasn't a normal place we usually went to eat. "What, you know some kind of Barbeque place down here?"

"Nope," Thomas said.

He pulled up to a park. I could see a number of homeless guys camped out in boxes, under whatever shelter they could find. Some wore newspaper clothing, others had plastic bags around their torsos and arms.

Thomas didn't say anything, just hopped out of the car, and walked dertiniatedly into the crowd. Seemingly at random, he grabbed someone then came back to the car. He opened the trunk, threw the guy in, and got back in the drivers' seat.

We drove again, as I puzzled through it. Recognition dawned on me, as we entered a deserted vacant lot.

"Get out," Thomas said.

I opened the door.

He got out and opened the trunk. The homeless guy was in there, tape over his mouth. He struggled, fear in his eyes.

"No," I said. "I am not going to do that."

Thomas sighed. "You really don't have a choice, Lara. Either feed on him, or you'll end up feeding on someone you don't intend later on when your demon manifests.

I looked down at the guy. He held his hands out, struggling to get away. Thomas held him by the collar.

"Do it," he said. "You don't have to kill him. Your body will take what it needs, then I can let him go. If you wait too long, you will kill someone, Harry. I mean, Lara."

I winced, and sighed. I looked at the guy. He had stringy greasy hair, and was missing a few teeth. Tattoos covered most of the exposed surfaces of his neck, arms and hands.

"I don't even want to touch him, much less, feed on him or whatever."

"You don't have to touch him. Just…sniff him. Your body will do the rest."

Unsure of myself, I leaned over a little. I gave a little sniff and…

Something swept over me. I felt it in my toes. It was like finding the world's best hamburger in a dingy dive on the east side. The next time I inhaled, I didn't just take a small sniff, I inhaled, and something came with it.

I filled my lungs, filled them deeply. He stank, of sweat, of booze, of other drugs. That sparky smell I always associated with meth users. But another part of me drank in, something and it filled me, refreshed me, and I wanted more, more…

"Stop." Thomas said. He released the guy's collar and thrust him away. "Now, get back in the car."

"But—"

"No, get in now!" He took my arm forefully, and led me to the passenger side of the BMW, then lifted the hatch.

"I—"

"In!" he said, putting a hand on my head.

"O-kay!" I said, getting in the vehicle. I wanted more, but at least I wasn't so hungry anymore.

He got back in the drivers' side and we burned rubber a little as we left the deserted lot.

I glanced back and the guy was sitting on the sidewalk, kind of shaking his head a little, and looking after us. I felt a little sad, I knew he wanted me, wanted to follow me, and we weren't letting him.

By the time we were back to the apartment, the spell, or whatever it was, had been broken. We got out of the car, and took the elevator up to the Penthouse. Thomas completely ignored Jerry. I gave him a tight-lipped smile as the elevator doors closed.

I could tell he was still seething. His jaw wasn't working like it was during the drive, but it seemed like every muscle was coiled like a snake, ready to pounce.

And distantly, I was still hungry.

"Can we eat something? I mean, not someone, but like, a cheeseburger or something?"

"Look, Harry." Thomas said, as we stepped out of the elevator. "You're going to have to get used to it. This is the new normal for us. We take a little when we can, and we make do, but we're basically hungry all the time. Now do you get it?"

"So what, we don't eat Cheeseburgers?"

"Look, I'll show you."

He opened the door to his apartment, and motioned for me to follow.

Inside, we went to his immaculate kitchen. He had stainless steel appliances set off by dark accents. I knew my apartment was white, everywhere, everything. Thomas was always so morose, even in his color scheme.

I sat down on one of the stools at his tall dinner table.

He took out a steak, and set it on the grill, turning the flame on hot. Then he pulled out a pan and banged it onto the stove. He broke a couple of eggs using one hand, put them in a bowl, then used a whisk to stir them briskly, adding chopped green onions and peppers. Then he poured it into a heated pan.

He got two glasses down, then filled them ice. He took some fresh oranges out, cut them in half, then fed them into a press, filling two glassses half-full with the fresh-squeezed juice. Then he poured in some Grey-Goose vodka over it, and flipped the omelet. He set the juice in front of me, and flipped the steak.

A few moments later we both had steak and a perfectly prepared omelet in front of us. It smelled heavenly.

"Eat." He said, taking out a fork. He sat down on the stool opposite me.

I started with the steak. "Mmmm, yummy."

He shrugged, eating as well.

We ate in silence for awhile.

I took a sip of the drink, and found it very good indeed.

After I was full, I looked up at him. "Thank you."

He shrugged. "But, are you not hungry anymore?"

I thought about it. My stomach was full, yes. But…there was still a need, still a craving.

"I still want to go back and find that guy and finish what I started."

"I rest my case." He got up and took our plates to the sink. Washing them off, he set them in the dishwasher, and pressed the button. The kitchen was back to its previous immaculate state.

"So, now what?" I said.

"Now, you go back to your penthouse, take a bath, and probably sleep for awhile. You've been through a lot, Harry, and it's going to take a bit of time to recover. Afterward, we probably need to think about what happens with Susan, didn't you say she was on a timeline?"

I'd completely forgotten about Susan. "Ah, jeeze. I told her I'd meet her later on today. Do you think, um, the other Harry will take that over?"

"Doubtful. We're in new territory, Harry. Lara, in her very long life, has never done anything remotely like this. I'm truly sorry, if I had even an inkling she might do this, I wouldn't have recommended it." He put his hands over his face, and I could tell it really broke him up to say that.

"Hey, hey." I said, coming around the table, and putting my arms around him. He hugged me back, burying his face in my shoulder.

I stroked his long hair. "None of that. It wasn't your fault."

He nodded, but I could tell he was unconvinced.

"You might have lost your sister, but you've gained…another sister." I chuckled. "Who, just so happened to used to have been your brother."

"At least we're keeping it in the family," he chuckled, pulling away and wiping his eyes.

"See? There's my baby brother, I love so much." I smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

"Jesus, you sound just like her when you say that."

"Yeah, well.." I glanced down. "If the shoe fits."

He rolled his eyes.

"I'll get cleaned up, and maybe lay down for an hour or two," I said. "But then we really need to find Susan."

"We?"

"Yeah, I'm going to need some backup, buddy. I don't have any of my powers anymore, and Susan is definitely a Red Court Vampire now. You should have seen her."

"Full-on nightmare?"

"Yeah, and she took to it better than I expected. We need to get those sins figured out asap."

"I can do some digging. At least find her past articles and blog posts. Maybe that will give us something to go on."

"Good thinking," I said, smiling and touching his shoulder.

"We'll talk about -this- when we drive out to see Susan. She's way up on insert route so it'll take awhile to get there." I held out my hands, indicating my new body.

"Sounds like a plan."

"I'll be back in a couple hours?"

"I'll be here…Lara."

I shivered at him using my new name. Kissing him chastely on the cheek.

"Love you brother."

"Love you too."

Entering Lara's…my…apartment was an experience. In some ways, it was very strange. I, the Harry Dresden I was, had never actually set foot in Lara's apartment. She rarely made an appearance to us, either constantly being busy with running Raith Industries, or cloistered privately behind her penthouse walls, or out with whatever friends or social circles she had.

The other part of me new it like the back of my hand. I entered, and glaced around as I took off my gloves and jacket, setting my Coach purse on the white marble table in the foyer.

White carpet set off white furnishings. The only color in the room was the green stalks of a lovely boquet of white Callas Lilies on the table. They were horrifically expensive, but I had them delivered three times a week.

I went over to the flowers, and inhaled them deeply, closing my eyes at the fragrance.

Stepping out of my shoes, I made my way into the bathroom. White marble tiles set off a glorious, immense bathtub. I started the water, and added some bath salts, oil and coconut milk.

I went into my wardrobe and selected a tailored white Christian Dior pantsuit, with matching Jimmy Choo pumps, and laid them on the bed.

Disrobing, I stared at myself in the full length mirror in the back of the closet.

Lara, I…was gorgeous. Sleek soft and smooth skin, with supple curves and not an ounce of body fat. I had a well tucked fanny, with pert breasts that were neither too generous or too small, but a nice ripe handful. My neck didn't have a trace of sag, and my face had zero wrinkles, age spots, or other detracting marks other than a perfectly placed mole just above the right side of my full lip.

Dark hair tumbled across alabaster shoulder as I took out the hair tie, and shook out my tresses. My blue eyes were different from Karrin's…being a deeper azure, almost violet in their natural state.

My eyebrows needed a little work, however. Something for after my bath.

I went back into the bathroom, and entered the tub.

"Alexa, play some soft jazz."

Damn, I wish I'd taken another screwdriver, I thought.

This is what little brothers were made for, I thought. "Alexa, call Thomas."

He picked up on the second ring.

"What."

"Brother, can you pour me some of that amazing nectar you gave me this morning at breakfast, and bring it to me in my tub?"

"Is that an invitation?"

I thought about that, glancing around my tub. It could hold the Chicago Bears football team with room for a few Cubs baseball players.

"Of course," I said, with a languid smile.

"Be right there."

From Lara's memories, I knew this wasn't a super common occurance, but Thomas and Lara did have a rather open "brother and sister" relationship. It wasn't on the level of Cersei and Jaime Lannister, or anything but they were closer than most siblings.

He appeared a few moments later, wearing a black bathrobe, and carrying two wineglasses with ice and a pitcher with liquid and orange slices floating inside.

"You are the best brother, ever," I said, taking a glass.

He snorted, then set the pitcher and glasses down within arms' reach, and turned and took off his robe.

As Harry, I'd never actually seen my brother naked. Half-brother. Even as Lara, I was only his half-brother.

He had chiseled muscles, and six pack abs, looking like a well-toned Adonis, with perfectly tanned skin in contrast to my alabaster.

He got in the tub, and I made a show of smiling at his manhood. He rolled his eyes a bit self-conscious, and slipped under the bubbles, sliding next to me on the tub seat.

"I see you're enjoying your new life."

"This may be the best bath I've never had." I said, smiling and twisting my hair up on my head, and setting it in place with a white barrette.

"I'm glad you're acclimating."

I took a long drink of the nectar of the gods, and smiled. "Well, I figured, 'when in Rome.'"

Thomas sighed, and sat back, stretching his arms out. "I assume you have access to all of Lara's memories?"

"Yes," I said. "She lives quite the life."

"Yeah, about that." He, took a drink, and set it on the marble beside the tub. "You'll need to get up to speed on all the company projects. We were in the midst of quite the shit-show, as you can gather."

A few pieces clunked into place in my head as he said those words.

"Oh, yeah. Wow."

"Yeah."

"You guys were really considering a sale?"

"And you know the conflict."

"Wow. I'd never have…wow."

"Now you're seeing why she might have been so eager to escape?"

"You are against the sale. And Lara wanted to sell. I'm…surprised."

"Yeah, Lara was ready for a change. She wanted to sell off huge heaping sections of the company, cash out, and basically make some kind of escape. I'm not surprised that, given the opportunity, she saw your life as more attractive than her own. Hundreds of people were about to lose their jobs, and she was about to pull the trigger."

I followed the sequence of events. Realization flooded through me.

"Jesus," I said, in nearly a whisper.

"Yep."

"She was basically planning long-term self-immolation."

"Quite literally."

"Wow, and she wanted me…I mean, Harry, to do it!"

"Yep. She had a pretty intricate plan to draw you in and set herself up as a monster that needed killing."

"Why?" I said. "When she has all…this?"

He shrugged. "You…well, she has been alive hundreds of years, Harry. When you've been around that long, you've made all the money, seen all to see, what's left if you have no one to share it with?"

I felt a lump rise in my throat. "But she had you."

"Yes, and a few other close friends, as I'm sure you now know."

"Anita, Diane…wow, and I had no idea I know Katy Perry personally?"

He laughed. "Yeah, they spend time together, pretty frequently."

I dug through her memories and marvelled. "They're actually pretty close friends!"

"I know, right? Katy sang at my birthday party."

"And I wasn't there," I said.

He coughed. "Well, Harry was kind of considered dead that year. If you remember."

"Oh, yeah…" I remembered my life as Harry, but it was growing distant, fainter. Lara's memories were moving forward, more clearly. "This is so strange."

"It's going to be, for a bit. I'll help you get through it."

"Well, I still have hope I can reverse it. I know what you said about the Accords and such, but I have an ace or two up my sleeve, I didn't reveal."

"Want to share that?"

"When the time comes."

"You mean Molly."

I nodded. "Her among others. There's a couple of wizards on the grey council I can talk to."

"I won't say it's impossible. I'm not a wizard, Harry, but remember, Lara now has all of your memories too."

"Yeah."

"So, she might know you're coming."

I sighed, and drank a bit more. "This really was an act of desperation. I can feel how she both wanted, and didn't want, to do this. I think it might eat at her a little bit."

"But now she has someone to share it with."

"Pfft, Murphy is no one's thrall." I shrugged. "Well, I mean, she might be at the moment, but Murphy's a tough cookie. When push comes to shove, I think I can win her back."

"Lara is quite seductive. We'll have to see."

"Hmmm," I went over all the memories. "The thing to do…would be…"

Thomas grinned. "You need someone to fall in love with you."

"Exactly. If I were to suddenly start living the life Lara never did…"

"With Lara's power, influence, and money…"

"And with someone loving and caring by my side…"

"And maybe certain people could suddenly start taking an avid interest in the new Harry…"

I chuckled, thinking about that. "Yeah, we could make his life a living hell, for sure."

"You could probably have Lara on her knees begging you to swap back."

I felt that hunger again, the one in the background, the one un-sated. "Maybe…she really hated living with this hunger though. I can see her, and your, point now."

"You need to spend some time at The Cup. We can get that taken care of."

"It does align with both goals. Ivy mentioned someone from your salon knew something about what Susan should do."

"And while you're there, you can skim a bit like I do. It really does help keep the hunger at bay."

"What about Justine, by the way? I haven't seen her in a long time. Either as Lara or as Harry."

"She's sheltering in place with her mom up in Milwaukee. All's fine, and she'll be back in a few weeks when this is all over. I really don't want her exposed to the virus, she's imuno-comprimised, as you might know."

I remembered the time Thomas nearly drained her completely. It left her frail and a little broken, and she often fell sick, even in the best of times.

"Good," I said. "I was a bit worried. She is my right hand, lady."

He chuckled. "Lara's you mean. Yes."

"Well, even as Harry, I had her keeping tabs on…well, me."

"I always suspected that, but you just confirmed it."

"Regardless, I'm glad you're keeping her safe, little brother."

He clinked my glass. "All in a day's work, sis."

I giggled at that.

"Want me to wash your hair?"

I unclipped my barrett and let my hair tumble free. "Thought you'd never ask."

After Thomas washed my hair, we both put on robes, and I sat at the vanity table, and he set it in large sponge rollers. While my hair dried, he took a piece of ice, and ran it over my brows, then took some thread and threaded my brows, running the thread over my skin deftly and expertly trimming my brows down to their perfect arch. He then repeated the process for a few hairs above my lip (we'd never tell anyone), and along the sides of my face.

"If you're going to nap, you should probably sleep with the rollers in. Let me know when you wake up, and I can finish dressing it."

I yawned. The bathing, combing, and threading had all been so relaxing, I'd already been nodding off. "Okay."

He gave me a brotherly hug, and a kiss on the forehead.

I lay down on the bed, snuggling under the covers.

It felt strange, and familiar at the same time, being in Lara's bed. I missed the feeling of Murphy, almost a physical loss, and at the same time, it felt like my sanctuary, my one place of safety in the world.

I wondered what they'd be doing right now and figured I really didn't want to know.

Sleep claimed me.