Hi everyone sorry it's been awhile for this next chapter, I just want to apologize. I don't like the holidays much and I get down on myself a lot because when I came out to my family they dropped me like a hot plate. it's been four years since I've spoken to them and I unfortunately took this all out on Britney. I hope that you enjoy this chapter as much as I did writing it and just know that I love my creations and don't intentionally want to see them not in future stories or chapters.
Thanks,
Michelle
As always please leave comments and or thumbs :)

TTR 3.3

The next thing I know I’m standing in an open space surrounded by thunderstorm clouds. I can hear the thunder rumbling but it’s not laud just like background noise, there is lightning arcing across what I guess is the sky, it’s not raining.

All of a sudden there is a big burst of lightning and the thunder rumbles so loud I fall down on the ground. When I look up I see the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen standing in front of me. She’s my height and has the same long blond hair, red luscious lips but she has these giant ravens’ black wings and her eyes match the black of her wings she’s wearing a dark purple robe like the grim reapers. And she looks somewhat familiar maybe a twin to my sister if she had a twin.

“Well get up silly! There’s no reason to be on the ground I won’t hurt you”!

“Where am I”? “Am I dead or is this a dream”?

“Of course your dead that’s what you wanted right”? “This is purgatory, I run the joint. Thank you very much”!!!

“Who are you”? “The grim reaper or something”?

“NO, ha ha ha….. silly he can’t talk and he wears black robes plus he like to chop off heads” she said smiling.

She bends down and grabs my hands and pulls me to my feet. “I’m you, well the you, you could have been if you’d pulled on your big girl panties and just told mom, Angela and Jess who you really are”!

“I’m here to help you fix that if you make the choice to do it”!

“If your me or I’m you how come we look like you”? “Did we not go to heaven or is this hell”?

“I’m not allowed to tell you”!

“What”? “Why not”?

“It’s about me….or well you”.

“Always with the questions, and totally the wrong ones for the amount of time we have. Tell you what I will answer your questions only after you do something for me”.

Feeling nervous but extremely curious I know I have to hear her out. “Ok, what do you want”?

“I want to show you just how selfish you were and the saying that the loved ones of people who commit suicide will get over it is bullshit”!

A clear sort of TV looking screen appeared in front of us. I stood and watched as the scenes unfolded in front of my eyes. The TV started out playing through that day showing my suicide and everything that transpired after.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Angle me?

“The effects of what you did changed the outlook of so many people’s lives! First let’s start with the people that didn’t know you all that well, but were there for the show so to speak”.

“Since you weren’t awake to know that Coach Larsen tried to help you before the EMT’s got there. She had big dreams of becoming a college head coach, she would have made it to”. “If she had been able to win the state championship two years in a row like she would have”. “The team was nothing without those three to guide and lead the others, Coach Larsen couldn’t do it on her own and so the program turned to dust”.

“Coach Larsen was dating the love of her life until the world turned upside down, she and her partner got into a huge fight about her drinking on the job and that night her partner was killed in a car wreck on the way home and Coach Larsen just crumbled and found solace in the bottom of her bottle, until she drank herself to death”.

“What you did caused the team to fall apart, Jessica fell to pieces and couldn’t even think about playing”. “Jenn and Amber were so shook up they couldn’t play either”.

Jessica turned to drugs and alcohol, to numb the pain, and she never made it through high school”! “She started sleeping around and hanging with some really bad people she was latter raped and murdered at a party”.

“Jenn and Amber broke up with her because of the partying and the things she was doing”. “They both were in therapy because of the whole mess, they broke up because without Jessica there they couldn’t function as a couple”. “Their relationship was based on the three of them, without the glue holding them all together they fell apart”.

“Both Amber and Jenn grew up to become cold heartless mean awful people and died alone at the great age of 55”!

“Your mom, well her and your sister fought like cats and dogs. The cops were called several times and then finally your sister just left and your mom she just wasted away, she blamed herself and your sister for what happened. “So she sat in her room staring at the walls, she never recovered”. “She completely lost touch with your sister and died alone on her bed, the neighbors called the cops because of the smell. No one had even bothered to check on her”.

“Angela well she became and is a very cold person, she’s got steps on ice queens she’s so cold I honestly think she’s to mean to die”. “She could never get over the fact that her little sister ripped out her heart and crushed it”. “She blamed herself the most for not seeing the signs or doing something about the ones she did see, your mom for not trying hard enough to get you to open up about things and you for not telling at least her about what was going on.

“And you or I guess us…. We don’t get to become this me and you get to stay as you are sitting in purgatory and dodging the grim reaper for all eternity”! “See you, me, we or us or… oh hell, for this part we’ll use me so it makes sense, as I am now when I died and came to take my place as the gate keeper I got the body that we should have been born as”. “So keep that in mind when I tell you what choices you have”.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Britney

As I watched the scenes unfold I was overwhelmed, the pain and anguish that I had caused the people I loved more than anything had me realizing that I had been so wrong. Even without finding out what happened afterwards as catastrophic as that was I couldn’t believe the pain that they went through when they found me.

Here I thought things would be better for them all and instead I was a linchpin to the destruction of entire families, I’ve never met Jenn or Amber’s family but I knew without a doubt that what happened to their daughters would have been as devastating to them as what my own family went through.

I had tears running down my face I couldn’t believe what I’d done, and all I wanted to do was fix it! I couldn’t stand what I’d done to everyone, my selfish decision had done the complete opposite of what I wanted. It didn’t matter that Jess had found the note earlier than she was supposed to because that would have only delayed the inevitable.

My sweet sister had turned into someone who she right now would despise and never want to be like. My mom dying alone? So alone. No way was I going to allow this, if I could fix it or change anything to make their lives at least go in the direction they were supposed to then I. WAS. DOING. IT!

“Ok other me haha, what are my choices or what do I need to do”?

“There’s really only two choices right? Either you stay here right now and run from grim……….. or I send you back to that Friday and you tell them what is going on and let the world go on as it should have”. “You only have one shot at this so if you do this again well you can expect to see grim before you get a chance to run”.

“If I go back will you tell me that at least mom and Angela will accept me”?

“Nope.. I can’t and I won’t. In order for you to be the strong woman you grow up to be you need to learn trust in others and in yourself”!

“So I go back, tell them what’s up and when I die I come back here and become you”? “What the hell causes us to become whatever it is you are”?

“I suppose I should mention at least a little bit of that but I won’t explain any all of it! All right”?

“Ya ok I suppose that will do”.

“I am a fallen Angel, something that we do in life causes us to become this, and trust me you would do it again and again a million times over”. “I will not tell you what IT is”.

“Now you know, so what is your decision”?

“Yes I want to go back and fix this that was so awful of me”. “How much time do I have on Friday”?

“You will wake up as soon as you get back the rest is up to you, I do have to tell you that this will all seem like a very weird dream.

You will remember the important pieces but what happens in the future to everyone will be forgotten you can’t know something like that because you might try to use it to make decisions that otherwise may or might not happen and the results could be what you were trying to avoid”.

“Anyone ever tell you you’re kind of long winded”? I laughed

She smiled and snapped her fingers, the lightning flashed brilliantly and crackled the thunder rolled and pounded all around me. Then nothing but darkness.